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17 and wanting to move out.

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  • 17 and wanting to move out.

    I’m 17 and I want to move out. I intended to leave as soon as I turned 18 but I want to leave already. I recently got in trouble at school for the very first time and my parents blew a gasket over it— I had gotten one day of I.S.S. for a second strike of P.D.A. just because I was hugging my boyfriend afterschool (P.D.A. rules are seriously a joke in my school district, you can get written up for holding hands even. It’s completely outrageous). They even threatened moving me out of my school just because of it.
    Look, my home life isn’t exactly the worse but it’s not the best either, my parents are extremely controlling— I literally can’t do anything without them tugging on the leash they have on me. I’m extremely restricted in almost every aspect of my life and I honestly believe I’ve dealt with it for long enough. I live with my Mother and my Step-father as well as my two half-sisters and I don’t get along with my mother as well as I should considering our past, prior to meeting my Step-father. We verbally fight constantly, even over ridiculous things and she doesn’t hesitate to hit me at times. I honestly feel as if she might blame me for how her life turned out because she had me at 18. And no, I haven’t spoken to her about it— I doubt she’d even listen to me. And please do not say my parents are doing all this because they “love me” and “care about me.” I know they do, I’ve been fed that line countless times and I’ve gotten sick of hearing it. I’m fed up with the way they treat and restrict me.
    I’m still in highschool, I have good grades and I’m a good student. In fact, I'm #22 in my class. I don’t have a job, mostly because my parents won’t let me get one. And I understand that moving out takes money, a lot of money. I know that currently, I don’t have any but, I am aware that my biological father does, or at least his parents do.
    What can I do? I know if I leave now, like on my own— I can get arrested as a runaway. My parents are both Police Officers, they’re not stupid. They’ve threatened me before about running away. They’ve even told me many times before that I’ll never make it on my own. So, what can I do?
    Is it possible that I could go to my biological father for help and won’t get legally in trouble for it? Despite the fact that I haven’t seen or heard from him since I was 5?

  • #2
    re: 17 and wanting to move out

    Hey there,

    Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). It sounds like you’re going through a difficult time at home with your parents, but were glad you reached out to us. It’s great that you have started to think of a plan for yourself, and what resources may be available to assist you with living on your own. Although the rules at your school seem to be strict, it appears that you are doing well by ranking number 22 in your class.

    We are not legal experts at NRS, but generally speaking at the age of 17 your parents can file a runaway report with the police if you decide to leave home. If you were found by the police during that time they may or may not pursue the runaway report, being that you are almost 18. However, anyone you’re staying with can be charged with harboring a runaway. In terms of getting help from your biological father that’s something you can consider, but if your mom is your legal guardian than she is responsible for you until you turn 18.

    It’s great that you’ve tried talking with your mom about the issues you all are facing, but it doesn’t seems like the conversations have helped. Have you considered counseling or talking with another family member, friend or school personal? You can also call us here at NRS at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) where we are here 24/7 and everything we discuss is confidential and anonymous. We also have a live chat Monday-Sunday from 4:30 p.m.-11:30 p.m. CST. Again thank you for reaching out to us at NRS and we wish you the best of luck.

    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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