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Moving into friends house at age 17.

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  • #16
    I'm 17 and I plan to move into my friend's house can my friend's parent's get charged for kidnapping if I want to be there?
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 10-09-2019, 12:13 AM.

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    • #17
      I'm 17 and I plan to move

      Hello,
      Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

      We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. 18 years old is generally the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian. We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms. If you are under 18 and leave home without permission, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police.
      Also, those that a reported runaway stays with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. Anyone found to be assisting or aiding someone to run away may also find themselves at risk legally. For more specifics on the law, you might consider contacting the local non-emergency number for the police. You might also look for a legal aid center in the area. They may be able to answer any legal questions on the subject.

      We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

      Be safe,
      NRS



      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

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      • #18
        I was recently adopted by my grandmother after being in foster care for three years. I only had her adopt me because if she didn't my case worker was threatening to put me in residential placement, and we have a hate hate relationship to the point of not being able to stand being in that house. I turn 18 in February and I had recently told her I was moving out. Her response was that she was calling the cops, reporting me as a runaway, and then having them send me to lockup until I turn 18. Is there any way that she can actually do that, or any loop holes to getting around that? Need a response ASAP as I want to speed this up if im able to do it.

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        • ccsmod8
          ccsmod8 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello –

          Thank you for reaching out to us here on our public forum. Hopefully you have taken the opportunity to explore the responses on this thread to see if they can help you. It is our thought by helping you during your crisis, that there are others out there going through the same situation can look at this thread and find the answers that they need as well. Of course if you need additional support you are more than welcome to reach out to us via our online chat or our 24/7 hotline.

          As you have probably read from our other replies on this page, is that we aren’t legal experts nor can we tell you want you should or should not do. So from what we know about running away from home before the age of majority, is that a parent or legal guardian always has the right to file a runaway/missing person's report with the local law enforcement. The act of running away isn't considered a crime, it's more of a status offense so something like getting a parking ticket or traffic violation. So it's to our understanding that a parent can't "press charges" against their child or “lock them up” for running away just because they want to. You would have to be involved in something that would be illegal or crime to be taken into custody by the police.

          If you are worried about it, you might be able to call your local non-emergency police number to get more information on that and be for sure.

          Best of luck!

      • #19
        I just turned 18 in March and want to move in with my friend. MY mom has always been really strict and never let me go anywhere i feel like i missed out on my most of my teenage years due to her being so strict. I love my mom but all we do now is argue i feel like we lost our bond and don't know what to do. I feel like me leaving and living with a friend for a little would give us a chance to have space from one another

        Comment


        • ccsmod13
          ccsmod13 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,

          Thank you for taking the time to reach out to the National Runaway Safeline. Constant arguing can certainly become overwhelming. It sounds like you do care about your relationship with your mom, but things have become to tense at home to have a healthy relationship. You are the expert on your situation and you what the best choice is for you. We want you to know that we are here as a support to help you navigate this challenging decision as you take your next steps.

          The good news is that the age of majority is 18 in most states, meaning you are a legal adult and have the freedom to choose where you live. Having a solid plan about what you are planning on doing might be a good idea so that you can think about what will and will not be possible and work for you. Considering certain factors and aspects for your plan might help you make your decisions about your next steps: where are you going to be living, what's your role in the house, are you going to be working/going to school, will you be paying your share of the bills/rent, a back-up plan in case your living arrangement does not work out and you need to leave. Taking this step toward independence can be a huge step to take and we want you to be as safe as possible when making your decision.

          If you do decide to leave and you feel that you are willing to and ready to begin rebuilding a relationship with your mom, it may be helpful to have some support with this. Perhaps you could speak with a therapist, a family member or another adult that you and your mom feel comfortable with to help you mediate the beginning steps of communication. This might also be something to give a try before taking the step to leave.

          We truly want to be a support for you during this difficult time. You can reach out anytime by phone 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at 1800runaway.org to talk more in depth about your situation and explore possible options. We are here 24/7 to listen and help.

          Stay safe and good luck,
          NRS

      • #20
        Hi, I'm 16 years old and I'm trying to move in with my boyfriend and his family. Both of my parents kicked me out and I went to stay with him for a week and his family was extremely welcoming to me. After I had stayed at his house for a week, my mom forced me to come back to her house and threatened to call the police on them if I didn't. She claims that since she is responsible for me, I cannot chose where I want to live. She wants me to get emancipated, however, I don't want to wait several months until I can move out. If his parents allow me to stay at his house, would the police make me return home if she reported me as a runaway? I try talking to my mom about staying with him, but she is very stubborn on me not being able to stay there. I have thought about long term plans and what I want to do, but she only tells me how stupid it would be to move in with my boyfriend at sixteen. I understand this though, I have a job and I plan to get an apartment once I am financially stable as well as finish senior year taking courses online. At this point I don't know what to do, is there anyway for my boyfriend's parents to get legal custody of me so that she doesn't have to be responsible for me?

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        • ccsmod6
          ccsmod6 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear that things between you and your parents have gotten so tense and it makes sense for you to want to leave an environment that is so hostile towards you. While we are not legal experts, we do have a great deal of experience working with runaways. Your mom as your guardian is responsible for you having a place to live and being taken care of. However, if she gives permission, you can live wherever she decides. She could allow you to live with your boyfriend’s family if she wanted to. She could also transfer guardianship of you over to your boyfriend’s parents if she would be open to that as an alternative to waiting for an emancipation. All of this requires her to be willing to let you live with your boyfriend, which it sounds like she may not. You sound very sensible and thoughtful and if you would like to talk more specifically about what is going on and what options you have, please don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

          Take care,
          NRS

      • #21
        Hello, I am 5 months away from turning 18. There have been many issues at home and i’m currently staying with my boyfriend. In California, could his family be charged if my mom decided to report him?

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        • ccsmod0
          ccsmod0 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hey there,

          Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.

          While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. This may be the case if your mom reports you as a runaway. Laws vary from state to state, but it is something to keep in mind. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.

          We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

          Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

          If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

          Be safe,
          NRS

          Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

      • #22
        when i turn 18 can i move in with a friend with there parents permission even if my gardian says no?

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        • ccsmod15
          ccsmod15 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,

          Thank you so much for reaching out to us here at NRS. It seems like you could be dealing with a big decision and not having your parents support could be very hard. We recognize that reaching out and asking for help takes a lot of courage, and we are here to help in any way that we can.

          We are not legal experts by any means, however we generally know that running away for youth who are under 18 is not illegal. If they come into custody of the police, they are generally returned home. Youth who are 18 or above are technically considered to be adults in the eyes of the police. Your parents may file a missing person's report, but police will most likely perform a wellness check to make sure you are safe and okay. To be sure this is the case, you can always reach out to your non-emergency police line to see how they would handle your particular situation. We would be happy to help you reach out to your local police department with you or for you. You can explore this option further by giving us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat with us through our website. We hope this information helps as you navigate this trying time in your life. Best of luck and stay safe!

          Best,
          NRS

      • #23
        I just turned 17 and having a hard time with my parents I have been told multiple times to leave or not feel wanted I have tried to runaway before but they picked me up. I want to make this a permanent change I don’t want to go home I don’t suffer from a abusive house hold but more mental abuse time to time and I had enough. I want to stay at a friends house but I don’t want her getting in trouble in case my parents call the cops I want to do this for myself. I don’t want to stay here more than I want and I just want to leave

        Comment


        • ccsmod15
          ccsmod15 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hey there,
          Thanks for reaching out to NRS, it seems like you are frustrated by things at home and the mental abuse that it involves. It is totally understandable to want the situation to change or improve and feel like running away. You don’t deserve to be gaslight and put into a negative mindset just by being home.
          It seems like you are worried about getting your friend in trouble if you were to runaway to their house to escape your home situation. There is a chance that if you were to do so that they could be charged with harboring a runaway. We aren’t legal experts but generally that risk goes down if they are keeping you safe, and don’t try to hide you from police if they are looking for you. Your parents would likely file a runaway report and have police bring you back home. It’s a status offence to be a runway not a criminal one so police would only be looking to bring you home, not to arrest you.
          You mention wanting a permanent solution to be able to live on your own, or at least with a friend instead. Emancipation might be an option worth pursuing. Each state is different and not all have that option so it will take more research to see if its right for you. The general requirements are to have personal income unrelated to government support, a good reason to be emancipated, and a plan for supporting yourself.
          The last option might be finding more support for your mental health or family health. There are family and personal counseling options on a sliding scale we might be able to help find in your area. Sometimes having someone exclusively on your side can be a big help when those who are supposed to emotionally support you are instead breaking you down.
          Hopefully these options help clear up some of the situation for you. NRS is here to fully support and listen to you through this tough time and if you have more questions or just need someone to vent with we are here 24/7 by phone at 1-800-786-2929 and online at 1800runaway.org.

      • #24
        I’m 17 years old and my birthday is in July of next year, I want to move in with my 19 year old boyfriend who lives at his buddy’s house down the road from my mother’s home (that I am currently living at and want to move out of). My mom tried to yell at me once and I told her I was going to move out and she said that I could take only one garbage bag, so I had only one garbage bag. Does this count as her consenting to me moving out even though she told me that I couldn’t after getting my stuff packed? She then called the cops on my boyfriend (whom I was with along with my packed goods) and they brought me back home. How can I move out of this home as soon as I can? What are the legalities of this? What can I do to move out legally? Should I marry my 19 year old boyfriend to have him be my legal guardian? If so, how do I do that without parental consent? Should I run away? What should I do in order to get out of this house?

        Comment


        • ccsmod0
          ccsmod0 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,

          You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your mom's permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your mom. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

          Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

          Be safe,

          NRS

      • #25
        Hey if I have 17 1/2, turning 18 in may could I leave? Would my friends parents be charged if I stay at their house? And how can I figure out if my county would take my parents report? What if I am afraid to call the non emergency hotline for my county or how can I do it anonymously ? Thank you!

        Comment


        • ccsmod13
          ccsmod13 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,

          Thank you for taking the time to write us here at NRS. It sounds like you are considering leaving home and want to know more about possible legal consequences. While we are not legal experts, we can speak generally on this. 18 is usually the age you are able to leave home without permission from your parent/legal guardian. Until then, your parent could report you as a runaway to the police for leaving home. Running away is not illegal but it is a status offense. You would not get into any legal trouble, but your parent can ask police to return you home if they know where you are staying. Whoever you stay with could be at risk of being charged with harboring charges; however, from what we know this is unlikely. Police are usually more concerned with bringing you home than pursuing charges against someone for simply providing a safe place for you to stay. Police protocol can vary by state and even county. Your local police department would have the most specific information regarding how they handle runaway reports for someone your age. You can anonymously call the non-emergency line to ask questions about this. You are not obligated to give any personal information like your name or address in order to keep the call anonymous.

          We hope this information is helpful. You can call our hotline at 1-800-786-2929 or use lie chat services at 1800runaway.org 24/7 if you would like to talk more.

          Be safe,
          NRS

      • #26
        I'm 17 and Ive been wanting to move in with my friends because of a family issue idk what to do..my friends parents already said i could but my only parent i had has passed...

        Comment


        • ccsmod15
          ccsmod15 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thanks for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline. It’s a difficult situation to navigate when you’ve lost your only parent. You’ve already taken a good first step in reaching out and identifying an option.

          We’re not legal experts, but in general, you’re considered a minor and would need a legal guardian until you become an adult. Most states classify adults as people age 18 and older. Once you’re an adult, you may choose to live where and with whom you’d like. It would be helpful to learn more about your situation, so we can help explore all your options and resources.

          We’re available 24/7 and can be reached by chat at 1800runaway.org or by phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We hope to hear from you soon and wish you the best of luck!

      • #27
        So I'm 17 years old I'm going to be 18 in 4 months. But my situation is that I want to move out/run away to a friend, however I do not have parents concent to leave. The only problem is that there grandparents are worried that they could get in trouble for harboring a minor. How am I suppose to make this work without anyone getting in trouble? Or is that even possible?

        Comment


        • ccsmod15
          ccsmod15 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,

          Thank you so much for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you're in a difficult situation and we are glad you are reaching out for support.

          We are not legal experts, but we do have some general knowledge on runaway laws. Generally, having harboring a runaway charges pressed against adults who house runaways is a possibility. However, there could also be other factors at play, so it is impossible for us to say exactly what would happen. Runaway reports are made to the police and they generally get to decide how they handle the cases or if they are worth investigating. In some states, 17 year olds can move out freely and sometimes a cop may just decide to not pursue the runaway case because the young person is so close to being 18. It is also possible that you are returned home and charges are pressed. A good way to find out what your local police would do or what the laws are is to directly reach out to your non-emergency police line or reach out to a free legal aid resource in your state. We would be happy to connect you with either of these resources if you call us at 1-800RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat with us through our website, www.1800runaway.org. We are here 24/7 to help in anyway we can. We hope to hear from you soon. Best of luck!

          Take care,
          NRS

      • #28
        So my boyfriend wants to run away and live with my family. His mother is a big problem and freaks out and screams at him over absolutely nothing (like forgetting to turn on the dishwasher) to the point that he’s in tears. If he goes from where he lives in Connecticut to Nebraska with me, which laws apply to him? What would go down? And would my parents get in trouble for keeping him here if it did happen?

        Comment


        • ccsmod0
          ccsmod0 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,

          Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that your boyfriend is faced with right now and you’re wanting to find a way to help them as they mentioned wanting to run away. It’s great that your friend has support and concern from you especially since this time is quite difficult for them. Runaway laws in Connecticut would apply to him. Crossing state lines could have larger consequences, especially if he stays with your family. His parents could choose to press harboring a runaway charges, as it can be a crime for a runaway youth to stay with anyone over the age of 18.

          Having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of. We are here as support to help you and your friend through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

          Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

          We’re here to listen and to help and hope you or your friend can reach out soon.

          Take care,

          NRS

      • #29
        So my friend is 16 but she has a well let’s just say ruff home life and she needs to move in with me but her parents are just to controlling and crazy what can I do No ones helping and I need to figure out how to get her out there cuz she’s giving up

        Comment


        • ccsmod15
          ccsmod15 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,
          Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
          Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
          If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
          We hope to hear from you soon.
          Be safe,
          NRS
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