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Im 17 and need some help with getting out of my house.

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  • #16
    I am 17 but I'm on house arrest therefore can I still get of my house officially in Texas?



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    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2
      Super Moderator
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello There,
      Thank you for contacting The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. We are not legal experts but we do have general information on the laws and we will do our best to help you. In Texas the legal age of majority is 18 years old. What that means is if you left home before turning 18 you could be considered as a runaway. If the police found you they would most likely bring you back home.
      Because you are on house arrests if you were to leave home you may be in some legal trouble and usually they would be able to find you pretty quickly. We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore your options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support to you. We wish you the best of luck.
      NRS

  • #17
    I’m 17 and need some help with getting out of my house

    I have no job, no family, I absolutely have no one to turn to. I only have my mom but she’s aggressive and has anger issues to the point of beating me up and possibly killing me. I don’t want her to get in trouble because she has (ebt) she gets help with food stamps and has a social worker. I wouldn’t want her to get a case file or something worse. I just want out of this house. Is there any way I can without her getting into a huge mess?

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    • ccsmod9
      ccsmod9
      Super Moderator
      ccsmod9 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your parent’s permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

      Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

      Be safe,

      NRS

  • #18
    I'm 17 (turning 18 in 5 months), and I am desperate to leave my parent's house. I would far prefer to live on the streets than be here for much longer and risk harming myself. My parents do have a history of abuse directed at me and my older siblings - my father has even been ticketed for such, and legal action had to be taken between him and my brother a few years ago. I want to leave so badly that I long for my parents to throw me out of their home, regardless of if I would be physically hurt in that process. I do have a job and a driver's license, and have been invited to stay with my boyfriend's family if needed. Would it be possible for me to leave before I'm 18?

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    • ccsmod10
      ccsmod10
      Super Moderator
      ccsmod10 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out to us and telling us your story. It sounds like you are going through a very difficult time right now and we hope to be able to help you. We want you to know that no one deserves to be abused, and you should not have to go through that. If you haven’t already, you could consider reporting the abuse you’ve been experiencing. If you want more information about abuse reporting or if you want to file a report, you could call Child Help at 1-800-422-4453.

      You mentioned harming yourself. If you’re not currently getting mental health resources, it can be really helpful to get treatment As your mental health suffers, you have -limited ability to handle the other stressors in your life. You can contact the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) to connect you to mental health resources at 1-800-950-6264 or NAMI.org. If you ever feel like you are in danger of harming yourself just want to talk about any thoughts you may have about harming yourself you can call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255.

      We’re not legal experts here at NRS. Generally it’s not illegal to leave home, but your parents could file a runaway report, the police could get involved, and they could bring you home. The people you’re staying with could potentially get in trouble for harboring a runaway if your parents choose to pursue charges. Some police departments don’t accept runaway reports for 17 year olds, but the policies may vary by each department. You could consider calling your local nonemergency police department to ask about their policies. We also have legal aid resources here if you have specific questions about the laws in your state.

      Again, thank you for contacting us. It sounds like you’ve been going through a really hard time, but you’ve shown a lot of strength by working through these challenges and reaching out for help. If you would like to share more, please feel free to call our 24 hour hotline at 1-800Runaway (786-2929) or use our live chat. We hope this information was helpful and take care.

  • #19
    Hey im 17 and I been living with my sister in law and I just had a brithday not even 8 days ago and my dad said it was ok but my mom said that I have to go home and I don't want to go home bc I don't like it there

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    • ccsmod9
      ccsmod9
      Super Moderator
      ccsmod9 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. From what we can gather it really has to come down to a legal battle since both hold guardianship both would have to go to court and figure out who has the ultimate say so. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      We hope to hear from you soon.
      Be safe, NRS

  • #20
    I’m 17 and I don’t know what to do. I am currently staying at my aunts with my dad and 2 dogs because my dad got us kicked out of yet another house. He is a recovered addict and I’ve understood in the past but I can’t anymore. He knew we were getting kicked out a month before and never looked for a place then he thought he found a place but it didn’t work out. He said we would have to stay at my aunts for 3 days tops. But now we’ve been here almost 2 weeks and he’s gone to his girlfriends every night and I’m now left here to look after the dogs when my aunt and her boyfriend verbally harass me because I have to go to school and can’t take care of her during the day. I’ve had to sacrifice a lot in my life and now when I thought I wouldn’t ever have to sleep on a couch again. Here I am doing just that. I don’t know what to do. I don’t feel I can call child services because I believe they will not handle the situation in my favour. My friends would love to let me stay there but my dad says no and makes me come home, and my friends parents wouldn’t go against home because he’s my dad. I’ve considered running away multiple times. I’ve even gone so far as to want to end my life to get away from it all. I feel like someone is standing on my chest and I can’t do anything about it. What should I do? Because I cannot deal with this anymore and I feel I am at my breaking point.

    Comment


    • ccsmod6
      ccsmod6
      Super Moderator
      ccsmod6 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you so much for reaching out to us, it can be intimidating to share that kind of thing and we’re glad that you did. It sounds like you’re dealing with a lot right now, but it definitely seems like you’ve got a good head on your shoulders for such a young age. You don’t deserve to be put in that situation. It sounds like you have been really strong during this time, which is really difficult and impressive.

      If you do continue to have suicidal thoughts, we encourage you to reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255). They can be reached 24/7 and are a great non-judgmental resource. It sounds like you’ve been going through a really difficult time, which is in no way your fault, and they can be helpful. You know your situation the best, and we can’t tell you what to do. We can, however, give you some resources and options. If you do decide to run away, there are a couple of potential outcomes. We aren’t legal experts here, but we are experienced in handling runaway cases. Your dad could file a runaway report, which would be a status offense. This does disappear from your record once you’re of legal age. This doesn’t mean that you would be arrested or anything like that, but if the police find you after he’s made a report then the police could take you back to him. If you could get your dad’s permission, something could also be worked out. We can’t make any promises or predict the future, but depending on your state and the police, laws can be a little more lenient when you’re close to being 18. Once you reach your state’s age of majority, leaving would be completely legal. Since you’re 17, you would likely have a chance at being successful (so long as you’re safe) depending on where you are. It could be really beneficial if you wanted to call our hotline – we could discuss options more specifically and give you a little better information to help come up with a plan. We’re open 24/7 and are completely anonymous. We also have a chat program if you don’t feel comfortable speaking on the phone. You can call us at 1-800-786-2929, or head to our website to chat (https://www.1800runaway.org/#).

      Again, we’re really glad that you reached out to us. It takes a lot to ask for help and you are trying to figure out your options which is really good to see. If you would like to talk further about your situation, please do not hesitate to call or chat with us. We are here to listen, here to help.

  • #21
    Hi I just turned 17 a few days ago and I really wanna get out of this house. My parents won’t let me leave, I have to beg to go outside most of the time and we have food but it’s all gross and moldy and expired and I just don’t know what to do. My mom is clearly unfit to be a mom and I want to move in with my boyfriend and his aunt and they are willingly going to let me live in and just pitch in money for food and help with some bills. But the only problem is my mom uses me for my money and she dosent wanna lose the last person giving her money. I live in Iowa and I can’t legally love out until I’m 18 or get emancipated and they won’t let that happen. I just wanna get out please help

    Comment


    • ccsmod8
      ccsmod8
      Super Moderator
      ccsmod8 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello there –

      Thank you for reaching out to us here on our public forum. Hoping that by helping you through your crisis, there are others that are going through a similar situation can also get helped at the same time. It can be pretty rough to feel like your mother isn't really taking care of you do to the "moldy and expired food" in the house. We are assuming that due to that fact, you are pretty much taking care and feeding yourself while you are at home.

      As you have probably read throughout out our threads here, that we aren’t legal experts and that the age of majority does vary from state to state. So we aren’t going to go through that with you as you can find it easily. We want to make sure that you are safe doing whatever you decided to do. Having a solid plan about what you are planning on doing it might be a good idea so that you can think about what is reasonably possible for you to do and want isn’t. Factoring in these kinds of thoughts into your overall plan, again can possibly help you in your choice (i.e, where are you going to be living [long term vs. short term], what's your role in the house, are you going to be working/going to school, will you be paying your share of the bills/rent, what happens if you realize down the road that you can't live together and they kick you out, etc). It's certainly a jump step to make and we want you to be as safe as possible when making your decision.

      On the other side of things, you also want to think of if you were too say at home what that is going to look at. Thinking of what you can do to cope with being at home until you are able to leave without fear of your mother actions. Unfortunately we can’t control the way that people act and behave, but we can control how those same actions are going to affect us and play a part in your life going forward. Thinking for different coping techniques that work for you and spending more time away from your abusers if possible.

      If you want to talk more about your situation, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us here. Best of luck!

  • #22
    Hi I'm a 17 year old mom and my mom if forcing me to live with her and her abusive husband and they get drunken almost all the time I don't feel safe here and I don't my baby in the environment last night they both got drunk and my step dad left but my mom was pushing me around like I'm a full grown man and she is keeping my baby's father away and he is not allowed to see her. what can I do?

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2
      Super Moderator
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello There,
      Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, and sharing with us a little bit about what is going on.
      It sounds like you are going through a really difficult situation. It is unfortunate that home is not safe for you, and we are sorry you are having to deal with that. You do not deserve to be abused and you have every right to make a report. You can make a report by calling Child Help at: 1800-422-4453. You can also call us and we would be able to help with making a report. If you are ever in immediate danger please call 911.
      Also having your mother and your stepfather be drunk can be very unsafe. One resource that may be helpful is called SAMHSA which is the substance abuse and mental health association. They can be reached at 1877-726-4727. Also with your baby’s father he does have parents rights and could seek legal help or call the local court house to get more information on what his rights are.
      We hope that this information will be helpful to you in this situation. If you have any more questions or want to talk further about your situation please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. Best of luck!
      NRS

  • #23
    i'm 17 and i didn't want to live with my mother and her husband in the first place but she basically forced me and its been almost 4 years but the environment is just super toxic and i'm extremely unhappy everything is somehow always my fault and my dad doesn't want me to live here anymore either but she just doesn't care about how i feel she only cares about her feelings and her husband. i told her i needed to have a serious talk with her about my happiness and she just blew it off and never even tried to talk to me about it and when i tried to bring it to her attention she just blew u on me.

    Comment


    • ccsmod6
      ccsmod6
      Super Moderator
      ccsmod6 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We’re sorry to hear that your living situation at home has gotten so toxic that you feel like you need to leave. You do not deserve to feel unwanted in your own home and it is fair for you to want to pursue your own happiness.

      While we are not legal experts, we do have a great deal of experience working with runaways. It is not illegal to run away. Your parent/guardian could file a runaway report on you but this would NOT mean that you would get arrested or charged with anything. It typically does mean that the police could return you home if they encountered you and that would be that. Police typically do not actively search for a runaway youth. However, they will go where the parent/guardian directs them if they know where you are staying. Additionally, police can sometimes be more lenient about runaway situations the closer you are to 18. You can attempt to calmly, respectfully, and persistently deny them consent to touch you or take you anywhere, and they may give up on trying to return you home. They also may not, in which case you should comply with what they tell you to do for your safety.

      If you would like to talk more about your situation, we may be able to give you some more precise assistance. If you are interested in that or in discussing what other options you may have, please don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

      Take care,
      NRS

  • #24
    I need to leave my mother now I can’t take this. Is there a way I can leave without money?

    Comment


    • ccsmod16
      ccsmod16
      Super Moderator
      ccsmod16 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi,
      Thank you for reaching out to us; we are glad that you did. It sounds like there is something serious going on at home, and we are sorry that you are going though it. We can look up shelter resources for you in your area to help you to be safe and shelters are free. You deserve to be safe and we want to help that to happen. But we'd need to look up shelters based on your location and other factors unique to you.

      We are here to listen and help, and the best way for us to help you is by having a conversation with you either through our phone hotline or via live chat. You can reach us at 1800-786-2929 (1800-RUNAWAY) or chat at www.1800runaway.org We are here 24/7 and all of our services are confidential.

      Sincerely,
      NRS

  • #25
    I’ve been in the abusive house for way to long and I can’t take it. It’s to the point where if I don’t get out I’m scared I’ll find other was to help myself.

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    • #26
      Im 17 in the 12th grade i need cash really bad right now i really need to get away anything will help

      Comment


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15
        Super Moderator
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,
        Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We don’t have any cash grants or monetary assistance to provide, but we can certainly look for shelter/outreach/travelers aid on your behalf. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
        Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
        If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
        We hope to hear from you soon.
        Be safe, NRS

    • #27
      I am 17 and have my own vehicle and about to have a job. I turn 18 aug 4. Is there anyway I can move out of my moms house? We constantly argue and she cusses at me and threatening to slap me in my face in front of people! I need some major help

      Comment


      • ccsmod1
        ccsmod1
        Super Moderator
        ccsmod1 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hey there,

        Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

        We aren’t legal experts here at NRS, but generally speaking, if you do opt to leave your home your mom can file a runaway report, which is essentially a missing person report. Running away is a status offense; this means that it isn’t illegal, but it’s something you can’t do while still a minor. If a runaway report is filed and you are located by the authorities you will most likely be returned home.

        You mentioned some things about your mom threatening physical violence and it raises some concern about your safety and well being. If you are currently at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.

        If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

        Stay safe,
        NRS

        We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

    • #28
      I’m 17 years old, the person who has given birth to me has let her some physically abuse me and she and him mentally and emotionally abuse me. She degrade me and how I choose and what I choose. I can no longer live in the same house as her. She openly does drugs. She openly degrades me and openly mentally and emotionally abuse me. She has left me at work to find a ride home with out notice. Her son put me in a hospital 3/3/21. He has major anger issues that she has not gotten help for. She tells me I’m abusing them, I’m mentally unstableetc. She tried to control everything about me. I’m a straight A student. I’ve gotten scholarships and into university. I have a job at a nursing home I have perfect attendance. I’m over all very responsible and have always been the adult in the family. I Can not handle it anymore.

      Comment


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15
        Super Moderator
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,
        Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
        Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
        If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best.
        We hope to hear from you soon.
        Be safe,
        NRS

    • #29
      Hi, I’m 17 and will be 18 in 4 months. I do not feel safe at my house and last night my adoptive dad grabbed my throat and head and made me look at my mom when she was cussing me out. They have taken my phone and car keys and I pay for the car and it it’s not in their name. Every time I am home I’m getting fussed at and getting told I’m a ********** and they don’t like me at home but when I am away from home they complain that I am not spending time with them. I am really tired of how they treat me and I’m emotionally exhausted and I do not know what to do. I was thinking about leaving my house by my adoptive dad said he’d send the cops after me. I do not feel motivated to go to school or talk to my parents I can not even sleep at night because I do not feel safe, all I can think about is getting out of the house. I work at least 40 hours a week and go to school. When I get off of work at 10 at night I have to come home clean up the house. If I do not have work my mom has me watch my baby sister but if I get into her for not minding then I get yelled at. My mom has told me that the only reason she had me was to be her slave and that if I left the house would fall apart because nothing would get done. I do not know what to do anymore and I’m tired of the emotional and mental abuse. I need help ASAP

      Comment


      • ccsmod5
        ccsmod5
        Super Moderator
        ccsmod5 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,

        Thank you for reaching out, it sounds like things have been tough at home for some time. It’s important you know you do not deserve this treatment or to be spoken to that way. One option that is available to you is reporting the abuse to child protective service. Though we understand this may not be the route you may want to take, we can provide more information if you would like.
        Leaving home before turning 18 would make you qualify as a runaway and your legal guardians would be able to report you. Although in some areas, police departments can be more lenient on runaways who are close to turning 18. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. However, in that case there may be services (family counseling, etc.) available to you as a youth in crisis/runaway but again, police procedures related to offering those services can be different based on your location or the details of your situation. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth.
        Once you turn 18 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. Also, any runaway reports made for you would be automatically erased from your history. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your guradians for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can.
        If you would like to discuss any of these services further, please reach out via chat or phone call! We look forward to hearing from you.

        Stay safe,
        NRS

    • #30
      i’m 17 (turing 18 in april) and i need some help getting out of my moms house. she has brought a lot of stress and anxiety throughout middle and highschool. she’s manipulative and gets angry easily. when i tried to express what she was doing and how i want to move out and stay with my grandma she made a huge scene and started getting really mad at me, she also had an excuse for every awful thing she has said as well as fighting all of the time. (she believes that she is doing nothing wrong even when we say otherwise) she told me i’m not allowed to run away from family. she even admits to hating my step siblings and says terrible things about them. she fights with my step dad almost every night and it always ends in her slamming doors, breaking something, or even both. i’ve even heard her hit him before. there’s a lot that isn’t easy to explain on here, but i don’t think i can make it to april with everything going on. especially since nobody can do anything since i’m not physically being hurt.

      Comment


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15
        Super Moderator
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,
        Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
        Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
        If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
        We hope to hear from you soon.
        Be safe,
        NRS
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