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My Runaway Rights in North Carolina

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  • ccsmod1
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. It must be really frustrating to have such an empty response like that from your mom when you protest her actions. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

    It seems like your mom isn’t fully understanding you when you are trying to relay your thoughts and feelings about your current situation. It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your mom so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself.

    If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

    We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

    Stay safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    hi i am 9 years old and i really feel like runing away i been reading on what to pack and if i will be safe me and my mom get in arguements for sometimes no resons when we talk its like she only think about her self so her if a example i ask to get top bunk she said my little sister who is 3 YEARS FREAKING OLD was going to get the top bunk this was so unbelived able i tried comeing up with some good resons why she should be on bottom bunk but she said "I am your mother i what i says goes" and i was pissed that i put tht pee is pissed and all i want to do is leave when i try to talk about my feelings she says "You need to be good beacuse honestly you need to start behaveing and i am your mother and what i say goes". so thats going to be her exuse for everything like i am hurt deeply. i am really being pushed of the edge please say something that makes me whant to stay

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod16
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi,
    Thank you for reaching out to us; we are glad that you did. This situation sounds really scary and dangerous for your child and her grandmother and everyone involved. We are sorry that the laws favor the custodial parent, unless social services is involved, and so all of this must be scary and stressful for you since you are so far away. She has been through so very much and we hope our program can help.

    We administer the Home Free program on behalf of Greyhound Buslines for youth aged 12-21, and the program has to be initiated by the youth by calling our hotline at 1800-786-2929 (1800-runaway). If the youth is aged 12-15, a guardian ticket must be issued and someone must accompany the youth. Some circumstances raise the guardian ticket age to 16.

    We hope this information helps you and your daughter’s situation and that we hear from her soon at 1800-786-2929
    Sincerely,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hello my name is maria I live in arizona and my daughter lives in nc her father and I have split custody that he has never abided by several times contempted and we wind up back in court once my child was touched sexually by his minor brother 14 her 3 since no penetration nd both minors dss just put in safety plan for everyone nd she was forced to see her abuser on the daily even had a restraining order against her father because he threw a beer can at her head at 9 but I have always tried to keep things civil go to court not withhold her from him just abide legally however two days ago my daughters babysitter tried getting a restraining order for her again against her father he was drunk as always and threatened whole house of sitter which including our daughter nd 3 other minor children threatened to slit the throat of one of my daughters minor friends as well day b4 threatened to bust our daughters phone against her forehead called her very abusive words that an 11yr old shouldn't even have to hear but sitter couldn't get one because she isnt blood relative police told her to call social services or take her to a trusted blood relative warned sitter that if my child was at any home that wasnt a parent that if a parent showed up the child would have to return to parent they could not hold her from him even if he were drunk as long as he didn't drive himself there my daughter refused to go back to sitters or home was scared has been through alot and honestly I'm sure theres times I dont even know about I am scared for her she even went as far as saying she will kill herself if they make her go back to him or put her with someone she doesn't know so sitter took her to my grandmother she is currently there safe but has begged me every 20mins for last 2 days to please get her here she fears shell b found mistreated and it's already hard for her to even keep contact with me because he does his best to not allow it sometimes week or more b4 I hear from her and only a few minutes at a time but needs to be here with me asap because granny is 80 and she fears her father will find her and force her home 2 were all afraid she will hurt herself if he doesn't hurt her first i have 2 other children and am currently not working so getting her here is more than complicated especially since she is a minor nd hard for her to travel alone is there any services that yall offer or do u know of anywhere that offers services that can help us get her away from domestic violence and home with us please get back to me asap everyday that passes is detrimental thanks also i do have joint custody nd believe i am custodial parent but police cant enforce it and he doesn't abide by it he told sitter he was gonna get her for kidnapping not sure he can and unsure if hes reported anything because we dont speak never really been good with each other at communication just want my daughter to b able to b a child nd enjoy life like she should and feel faulted over all this because I could've gotten full custody awhile back but I didnt I trusted he had kicked his habit nd wanted to b the father she deserved again (used 2 b the best to her and my son from previous relationship until we split)so gave him a chance when I shouldn't have and now were here PLEASE HELP US HELP HER

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thanks for contacting NRS and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you with figuring out your next steps in this difficult situation. Asking for help was really responsible and smart of you. We are sorry to hear things are so unstable at home. You deserve to live somewhere that makes you feel safe and supported.

    It sounds like you would much rather live with your brother and he would provide a much more comfortable living environment for you. However, if you leave without the permission of your parents, they do have the option of reporting you as a runaway since you are still a minor. Running away is not illegal, but it is a status offense. While you would not get into any legal trouble, if your parents know where you are staying or you come into contact with law enforcement then a police officer might bring you back home. In some areas police protocol is more lenient and they do not necessarily consider an individual who leaves home at 17 a runaway. If this is the case for your area then police would not force you back home. You can anonymously call the non-emergency line for your local police department to ask about how they handle runaway reports.

    The easiest way to leave home as a minor is with your parent's permission. We know you mentioned your mom in particular can be very difficult to communicate with, but if you think it is possible to sit her down for a conversation this could make leaving easier for you. Sometimes explaining to parents why leaving home could be beneficial for both you and them can get them to consider your perspective a bit more. If there is someone who your parents trust, you can reach out to them to ask for their help as a mediator in this conversation to keep things calm.

    We truly want to be a support for you as you decide on your next steps. We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. Please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone or chat if you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation and explore your options. You can contact us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.

    Stay safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hey, so I’m 17 and I’m thinking about moving out to my brothers place, he is 20. I can’t take it here at home anymore, my mom is a crazy Spanish women who is not stable. She yells constantly and gets mad. My dad doesn’t listen to anyone and just gets mad at me all the time, he shoved me the other day and he tried to pin me and I shoved him back. He than slapped me, and said “try something I dare you”. I’m really starting to get pissed off and I can drive and I have a stable job, so I hope I can go live with my brother, but I don’t want my parents filing a report to get me. I love in North Carolina, I would appreciate any help I could get.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod16
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Its understandable that you would be nervous putting out there what you have gone through. We want you to know that you aren’t alone and we understand the pain that you are facing. Its absolutely deplorable how your parents have treated you and it speaks well of the rest of your family that your aunts and uncles and grandparents seem willing to help however they can. Nobody should have to go through the kind of emotional abuse that you have shared here, especially from a parent. It seems like the church is what your parents would listen to most. It may be worth sharing with the pastor or someone else you may trust there about your depression and anxiety and how your parents have emotionally abused you about it. It is understandable if you don’t feel comfortable with that but pressure from the church may convince them to look into what depression actually is instead of thinking that a short week of medication would somehow “fix” the issue.
    In regards to your question you likely wouldn’t get in legal trouble as running away is a Status Offence and not a criminal one. Your parents may try to punish you in some way but the police would simply bring you back home. For those you stay with there is a chance they could face a Harboring a Runaway charge but that is up to the discretion of the police whether to press charges. We aren’t legal experts but as far as we know generally if those you are staying with don’t try to hide you or get in the way of the police if they came to look for you there then they usually don’t face charges. It may be worth having someone call the police non-emergency line anonymously and ask what their policy is.
    You mentioned being LGBT so we would also like to recommend thetrevorproject.org and glbthotline.org as other resources that might help you feel heard or have other ideas for your situation.
    Hopefully this information is helpful, it seems like you have been going through so much for so long and if you have more questions or just need someone to talk to you can always call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi, I’m kinda nervous about posting this, but I’m having an extremely hard time at home and I would like to know my best options. I’m 17 and live in NC. This is my situation: I live with my two extremely Christian Conservative biological parents and my two younger brothers. Last year my parents found out i was gay and all hell broke loose, since then I’ve been almost constantly put down for my sexuality, told I was demon possessed, unholy, untrustworthy (just because I was gay) , demented, disgusting, perverted, selfish, a disappointment , and the list just goes on and on. I’m a good kid, I don’t and never have smoked, drank, snuck out, or done drugs and I have no desire to. After they found out I was gay they screamed at me while I was having a panic attack to tell them everyone that knew I was gay. I am no longer allowed to see or talk to any of my LGBT+ friends and I am not allowed to see my Aunt and Uncle who are like parents to me just because of the fact they accepted me and believe that being gay isn’t a sin. My parents have completely isolated me from the world besides church (I am and always have been homeschooled so when I say isolated I mean ISOLATED ) even when I’m sick, throwing up, having a panic attack about going to church, or had a horrible nights sleep they still drag me to church and threaten to take away what tiny bit of freedom I have left if I don’t go. They also go through my phone regularly and choose what contacts I’m allowed to have in my phone and they read all my text messages , I’m also not allowed to have ANY social media whatsoever. And on top of all of that I’ve Struggled with severe depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts since I was 12. I had gone to my parents multiple times throughout the years asking for Professional help and was very open about the fact I thought I had depression, anxiety, and I knew I had suicidal thoughts. They always just said I needed to trust god with it, told me to read my bible, and then told me to just “choose to be happy” and that my life is amazing and that I’m just ungrateful. I no longer self-harm, but when I was 13 and 14 I did, and when my mother saw it she screamed at me asking how I was “so selfish “ and “how could I do that to her” . After I they found out I was gay, they blamed my depression and anxiety on that because I obviously didn’t love god if I was gay, and if I loved god I wouldn’t be depressed or anxious. The beginning of this month my suicidal thoughts had increased drastically and I decided to ask one last time for help. Begrudgingly they finally set an appointment with a Christian councilor who told my mother i need to be taken to a doctor for medication. The doctor diagnosed me with severe depression and anxiety and I have started meds. But ever since I’ve started them last week my mom has been non-stop shaming me for taking them and making me feel like less of a human for being mentally ill and saying things like “are you going to want to shoot up a school now that you’re on psychiatric drugs?” and “ I still don’t understand why you’re depressed and why you want to kill yourself, that’s selfish and ungrateful behavior, you have an amazing life.” I’ve never wanted to hurt anyone in my entire life,I would never EVER even dream of doing something that horrific, I was incredibly hurt and offended by that comment. And I’ve only been on meds for a week and she’s already talking about how she’s ready for them to “fix me” so I can get off of them and be “normal” . I could go on forever about all the horrible things that have been said and how my mental health struggles have been handled horribly, but hopefully you get the point with the examples I’ve given. A couple more things to know is that I have my drivers permit but not my license due to the fact I have terrible anxiety when it comes to driving so i haven’t been able to get my hours in(but even if i had my license my parents have already told me i wouldn’t be allowed to go anywhere that wouldn’t be up to their standards). I also have opened up to one set of grandparents and several aunts and uncles who all have steady jobs and safe homes, about my situation and they all have said I can move in with them and that they’ll help me get back on my feet, help me with graduating, and finding a job. My parents have never physically or sexually abused me, but the emotional and mental abuse is horrible, but i don’t think that’s enough for any authority to take seriously. And some people have told me “oh, you’re 17 just wait one more year” but I’ve been dealing with this for years now, and it’s starting to get to a place where im just not ok and can’t take it anymore and I’m so lonely because im never allowed to go anywhere or have friends. I’ve tried to explain to my parents how much their words hurt and how the majority of LGBT youth that kill themselves lived in unaccepting households. But they think that’s the devil talking and the “media brainwashing me” . So, i just turned 17, I still have quite the wait until I turn 18. If I moved in with my grandparents or one of my aunt and uncles house could that get me or them in legal trouble? I know about emancipation but I don’t think that would work, and I definitely don’t have enough money for a lawyer ( plus I would hate to have to put my younger brothers through that.) I just would like to know what you think my best option is and what I can and cannot do. I know this was very long, but I truly do appreciate you taking the time to read this.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod3
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thanks for reaching out us.It sounds like you want to know about running away laws. 18 years old is generally the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian. We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms. If you are under 18 and leave home without permission, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. However, in that case there may be services (family counseling, etc.) available to you as a youth in crisis/runaway but again, police procedures related to offering those services can be different based on your location or the details of your situation. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth. You can also call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) if you need to talk.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Can i runaway at 17 in NorthCarilina without legal consequences

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    We are really sorry to hear your dad is treating you so disrespectfully. It sounds like you want much more freedom and respect and that is totally understandable. Just so you know, some of the behavior you describe -- for instance your dad not taking your depression seriously, or calling you a prostitute -- probably can be considered neglect or even abuse. You have the right to file a report on how you are being treated by your dad with your state's child abuse reporting hotline. Or you can file through us or through Child Help (1-800-422-4453).

    You certainly don't deserve to be treated the way your dad is treating you. Since you posted this in a thread about runaway rights, we'd like to let you know that if you leave home before you turn 18 you could be considered a runaway. Running away is a status offense, though it's not illegal. However, anyone you stay with could be considered as "harboring a runaway" which is a crime. So it's definitely a big decision to make. One idea might be to get permission to leave home from your parents, though it sounds like your dad is extremely strict and that might not be an option. But it doesn't hurt to try.

    Another option you might have would be to look into emancipation, which involves going through the court system. We aren't legal experts, but we can offer legal aid resources that may be able to help answer any questions you have about emancipation. In North Carolina you can contact Chidlren's Law Center at 704-331-9474. If you'd like more legal resources -- or other resources like counseling -- you can call us anytime at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

    We hope you can reach out to others who can offer support for you. Being able to talk about what you are feeling and going through may prove to be healing in and of itself. Remember that we are always here for you, even if you just need to talk. If you give us a call we can work together to figure out if you have other options we haven't even considered yet. Again, our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY and we are here 24/7 and are confidential. Or you can chat with us via the portal at www.1800runaway.org.

    Please stay safe. We hope to hear from you soon!

    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Im tired of living with my father . i live in north carolina and am 16 years of age , I am about to turn 17 in about 6 months . I am tired of living in the house hold with my father . He treats me as if I was a 10 year old girl ... I have been working ever since I was 15 , getting my own money , I help them when they need money . I pay for everything I want . I dont ask them for anything but they treat me as if I was a little girl .. my mom & dad have went through alot and ever since my dad doesn’t let mw go out anywhere . He’s very religious and says if I go out I am a prostitute , I have tried to do sports & he says I will go to hell for playing sports like soccer & volleyball . I did drop out because of this same reason a few months ago I got very depressed a left school and now that I try & go back he doesn’t let me he wants to force me to pay for home school classes , He has even got to the point where he follows me every day to work so he’ll know I am at work . He thinks I dont know but he’s always watching me and I can’t live like this no more , he’s so focused on not letting me do anything besides work that I have gotten very depressed to where sometimes id rather die than live like this .. Yes I like working but im almost 17 I want to be able to go out & have a normal life .. I tell him im depressed & he tells me im just making things up when in reality I feel like I am in prison I feel trapped . i dont know what to do .

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  • ccsmod2
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello There,
    Thank you for reaching out to The national Runaway Safeline and sharing a little bit of what’s going on at home. It seems like you are going through a difficult time right now. Not being able to have freedom or privacy can be frustrating and it is understandable it is taking a toll on your mental health. One option to consider is talking with a school counselor about how you are feeling, they may be able to offer options and support. Another good resource that may help with your mental health is called NAMI, which is the national alliance for mental illnesses. They can be reached at 1800-950-NAMI.
    We are not legal experts but we do have some information on the laws. If you were to leave home without permission, because you are a minor your legal guardian could file a runaway report. If the police were to find you they most likely would bring you back home.
    We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. Best of luck!
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I'm 14 and my mom and dad scream at me and give me absolutely no freedom and tell me I'm too young for privacy and it's truly taking a toll on my mental health. can I legally run away and live with a friend?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod2
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello There,
    Thank you for reaching out to us at The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you have been going through a really difficult time lately. We are not legal experts but if your mother signed her rights over, then it should be your guardian who can make the decisions for you such as getting a license. You would need to find out if your mother has rights by contacting your court house or discussing this with your guardian.
    For emancipation we are unsure if you getting in trouble in school would prevent you from getting emancipated. One option to consider is calling your local court house and asking them the steps for you to become emancipated. You can also always call us and we can provide you with legal aid numbers.
    We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support for you. We wish you the best of luck!
    NRS
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