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My Runaway Rights in North Carolina

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  • My girlfriend

    Im 18 years old , no issues with my parents , i’d say my life is pretty good . my girlfriend is 16 years old and her relationship with her mother isn’t the best . Her mother has physically abused her at one point and verbally/emotionally abuses her every single day and I don’t mean to over exaggerate that but it’s literally every day , my girlfriend says she’s never been more miserable than she is now and that she’d be happier on the streets . She has voiced her concerns to her mother who continues to beat her down and make her feel stupid . As for me I know i’m 18 and can receive more legal issues on my behalf so I stay out of anything that could get me in trouble but I told my girlfriend about emancipation and she fears her parents will find out or it won’t get approved . Emancipation overall is a long process and it’s to the point when she doesn’t want to wait anymore . she’s voiced to both her parents that they should kick her out so she could be truly happy and I believe she has 2 friends that would take her in if she left home and my parents also might consider . I tell her she needs to be sure of her options if she decides to runaway but as for north carolina , what’s the laws on a 16-year old wanting to runway and is there a way for her to runway and not be forced back home ? What could her parents do if she ran away ? What can law enforcement do ? Although she has valid reason for her wanting to run away ?

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      You can pass this info along to your girlfriend...

      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
      While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
      We are not legal experts, but we can help you get a general sense of how emancipation works. Our general understanding is some states offer formal emancipation statutes while others do not unfortunately. Laws vary depending on your location, but in many states a minor can petition the court for emancipation to take responsibility for their own care before they turn 18. Generally speaking, courts are wary about granting emancipation. In most cases, you would have to prove in court that you have an income and can care for yourself financially, and that you are able to live separately from your parents. It also helps to be in good standing at school. The court will also factor in the mental and physical welfare of your parents in order to establish your best interest. Usually your legal guardian would have to agree to this in court. Once you are emancipated, you can legally choose where you live, but you might still find that you cannot sign a lease or build credit until you turn 18. The emancipation process can take several months or up to a year, and may cost money in the form of court fees and other expenses. Usually, the best way to learn about emancipation in your state is to contact a lawyer. You may also find information at your county family court. We can look up legal aid resources that may be able to help you with the process.
      We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

      Be safe,
      NRS

  • Hi I'm 17 years old and my birthday in acouple more months and ill be 18 so if I live with a friend without my parents permission would the police take me back home or would I be able to stay with him without worrying about court cause I always get picked on at the high school I go to now and I wanna live with my friend so I can go to his school and plus there neighbor drama at my house

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
      While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. This could be the case if you stay with your friend. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
      We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • Hi I'm 15 years old and I live in NC. My life was fine until I met my online girlfriend. There's a problem tho, she's 20. I know everyone says that's too old or whatever but the age of consent here is 16 and I'll be 16 in 3 months. Everything was fine and nobody knew until I got into trouble and my mom went through my phone. She found out and said if I continued to talk to her she would call the police.This also made her find out that I'm bisexual (I'm a girl too so) She said she'll love me no matter what but I'm not feeling the love and support she says she has for it. Anyways she said no to my girlfriend but I went against her and continued to talk to her until last night she found out that I was still talking to her. She said she's calling the police. I messed up. I really messed up. I know I disrespected my mom and I know I went against her but she is completely overreacting. Don't get me wrong I see why she's mad but I wish she would just listen to me. I am just so full of guilt and regret and I feel terrible and I'm terrified that she'll actually call the police and I'll get my girlfriend into trouble. I don't think I could live with that on my conscious. I just want to run away and be free from my parents grasp. And I'll be sixteen so I could be with my girlfriend but she probably hates me now. I just don't know what to do anymore..please help.

    Comment


    • ccsmod1
      ccsmod1 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      Thank you for contacting National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are going through a lot at home with your mom and we are here to support and help you.

      We aren't legal experts at NRS, but since you are under the age of 18, you are considered a minor and a legal guardian would need to authorize an alternate living situation for you. Therefore, if you decided to run away and your parents file a report with the police you would most likely be brought back home again. Running away isn't illegal, but something that can't be done as a minor (like smoking or gambling etc.).

      It may be most helpful for you to consider calling us at 1-800-786-2929 and speak with us so we can obtain more information from you about what’s going on. We can also mediate a conversation between you and your mom through a conference call and we are available 24 hours a day/7 days a week. Either way, it’s important to have a safety plan in the event you decide to leave home and we can help locate supportive resources for you as well as brainstorm a plan that will keep you safe.

      Best of luck,
      National Runaway Safeline

  • Hi, I’m going to be 16 in may and I don’t live with my parents. My father is incarcerated and my mother was verbally abusive and physical abusive and I was a little bit out of hand when I lived there but I’m trying to better myself. She would leave me at home days at a time by myself. So she let me move in with a family friend I have been staying here for over a month. My mother does not provide anything for me. My guardian provides everything and when I turn 16 I’m getting a job and going to start paying my own way at least help with school clothes and phone bill. But my mother even though I don’t live with her she’s refusing to let me get my license and my guardians are going on vacation and she refuses to let me go with them. Saying I don’t deserve it but she doesn’t even know if I do or not because I don’t live with her or I haven’t talked to her since i moved out I’m hearing all of this from my guardian. I’m thinking about getting emancipated when I turn 16 but I’m scared they won’t approve me because I got in a fight at school before I moved out of my moms and I had to go to court and I ran away from home at 14 and they might think I’m a troubled teen but I was only troubled cause I lived with her and she was toxic . I just want a better life for my self and she’s making it so hard to even want to try.

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello There,
      Thank you for reaching out to us at The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you have been going through a really difficult time lately. We are not legal experts but if your mother signed her rights over, then it should be your guardian who can make the decisions for you such as getting a license. You would need to find out if your mother has rights by contacting your court house or discussing this with your guardian.
      For emancipation we are unsure if you getting in trouble in school would prevent you from getting emancipated. One option to consider is calling your local court house and asking them the steps for you to become emancipated. You can also always call us and we can provide you with legal aid numbers.
      We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support for you. We wish you the best of luck!
      NRS

  • I'm 14 and my mom and dad scream at me and give me absolutely no freedom and tell me I'm too young for privacy and it's truly taking a toll on my mental health. can I legally run away and live with a friend?

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello There,
      Thank you for reaching out to The national Runaway Safeline and sharing a little bit of what’s going on at home. It seems like you are going through a difficult time right now. Not being able to have freedom or privacy can be frustrating and it is understandable it is taking a toll on your mental health. One option to consider is talking with a school counselor about how you are feeling, they may be able to offer options and support. Another good resource that may help with your mental health is called NAMI, which is the national alliance for mental illnesses. They can be reached at 1800-950-NAMI.
      We are not legal experts but we do have some information on the laws. If you were to leave home without permission, because you are a minor your legal guardian could file a runaway report. If the police were to find you they most likely would bring you back home.
      We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. Best of luck!
      NRS

  • Im tired of living with my father . i live in north carolina and am 16 years of age , I am about to turn 17 in about 6 months . I am tired of living in the house hold with my father . He treats me as if I was a 10 year old girl ... I have been working ever since I was 15 , getting my own money , I help them when they need money . I pay for everything I want . I dont ask them for anything but they treat me as if I was a little girl .. my mom & dad have went through alot and ever since my dad doesn’t let mw go out anywhere . He’s very religious and says if I go out I am a prostitute , I have tried to do sports & he says I will go to hell for playing sports like soccer & volleyball . I did drop out because of this same reason a few months ago I got very depressed a left school and now that I try & go back he doesn’t let me he wants to force me to pay for home school classes , He has even got to the point where he follows me every day to work so he’ll know I am at work . He thinks I dont know but he’s always watching me and I can’t live like this no more , he’s so focused on not letting me do anything besides work that I have gotten very depressed to where sometimes id rather die than live like this .. Yes I like working but im almost 17 I want to be able to go out & have a normal life .. I tell him im depressed & he tells me im just making things up when in reality I feel like I am in prison I feel trapped . i dont know what to do .

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      We are really sorry to hear your dad is treating you so disrespectfully. It sounds like you want much more freedom and respect and that is totally understandable. Just so you know, some of the behavior you describe -- for instance your dad not taking your depression seriously, or calling you a prostitute -- probably can be considered neglect or even abuse. You have the right to file a report on how you are being treated by your dad with your state's child abuse reporting hotline. Or you can file through us or through Child Help (1-800-422-4453).

      You certainly don't deserve to be treated the way your dad is treating you. Since you posted this in a thread about runaway rights, we'd like to let you know that if you leave home before you turn 18 you could be considered a runaway. Running away is a status offense, though it's not illegal. However, anyone you stay with could be considered as "harboring a runaway" which is a crime. So it's definitely a big decision to make. One idea might be to get permission to leave home from your parents, though it sounds like your dad is extremely strict and that might not be an option. But it doesn't hurt to try.

      Another option you might have would be to look into emancipation, which involves going through the court system. We aren't legal experts, but we can offer legal aid resources that may be able to help answer any questions you have about emancipation. In North Carolina you can contact Chidlren's Law Center at 704-331-9474. If you'd like more legal resources -- or other resources like counseling -- you can call us anytime at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

      We hope you can reach out to others who can offer support for you. Being able to talk about what you are feeling and going through may prove to be healing in and of itself. Remember that we are always here for you, even if you just need to talk. If you give us a call we can work together to figure out if you have other options we haven't even considered yet. Again, our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY and we are here 24/7 and are confidential. Or you can chat with us via the portal at www.1800runaway.org.

      Please stay safe. We hope to hear from you soon!

      NRS

  • Can i runaway at 17 in NorthCarilina without legal consequences

    Comment


    • ccsmod3
      ccsmod3 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks for reaching out us.It sounds like you want to know about running away laws. 18 years old is generally the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian. We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms. If you are under 18 and leave home without permission, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. However, in that case there may be services (family counseling, etc.) available to you as a youth in crisis/runaway but again, police procedures related to offering those services can be different based on your location or the details of your situation. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth. You can also call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) if you need to talk.

  • Hi, I’m kinda nervous about posting this, but I’m having an extremely hard time at home and I would like to know my best options. I’m 17 and live in NC. This is my situation: I live with my two extremely Christian Conservative biological parents and my two younger brothers. Last year my parents found out i was gay and all hell broke loose, since then I’ve been almost constantly put down for my sexuality, told I was demon possessed, unholy, untrustworthy (just because I was gay) , demented, disgusting, perverted, selfish, a disappointment , and the list just goes on and on. I’m a good kid, I don’t and never have smoked, drank, snuck out, or done drugs and I have no desire to. After they found out I was gay they screamed at me while I was having a panic attack to tell them everyone that knew I was gay. I am no longer allowed to see or talk to any of my LGBT+ friends and I am not allowed to see my Aunt and Uncle who are like parents to me just because of the fact they accepted me and believe that being gay isn’t a sin. My parents have completely isolated me from the world besides church (I am and always have been homeschooled so when I say isolated I mean ISOLATED ) even when I’m sick, throwing up, having a panic attack about going to church, or had a horrible nights sleep they still drag me to church and threaten to take away what tiny bit of freedom I have left if I don’t go. They also go through my phone regularly and choose what contacts I’m allowed to have in my phone and they read all my text messages , I’m also not allowed to have ANY social media whatsoever. And on top of all of that I’ve Struggled with severe depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts since I was 12. I had gone to my parents multiple times throughout the years asking for Professional help and was very open about the fact I thought I had depression, anxiety, and I knew I had suicidal thoughts. They always just said I needed to trust god with it, told me to read my bible, and then told me to just “choose to be happy” and that my life is amazing and that I’m just ungrateful. I no longer self-harm, but when I was 13 and 14 I did, and when my mother saw it she screamed at me asking how I was “so selfish “ and “how could I do that to her” . After I they found out I was gay, they blamed my depression and anxiety on that because I obviously didn’t love god if I was gay, and if I loved god I wouldn’t be depressed or anxious. The beginning of this month my suicidal thoughts had increased drastically and I decided to ask one last time for help. Begrudgingly they finally set an appointment with a Christian councilor who told my mother i need to be taken to a doctor for medication. The doctor diagnosed me with severe depression and anxiety and I have started meds. But ever since I’ve started them last week my mom has been non-stop shaming me for taking them and making me feel like less of a human for being mentally ill and saying things like “are you going to want to shoot up a school now that you’re on psychiatric drugs?” and “ I still don’t understand why you’re depressed and why you want to kill yourself, that’s selfish and ungrateful behavior, you have an amazing life.” I’ve never wanted to hurt anyone in my entire life,I would never EVER even dream of doing something that horrific, I was incredibly hurt and offended by that comment. And I’ve only been on meds for a week and she’s already talking about how she’s ready for them to “fix me” so I can get off of them and be “normal” . I could go on forever about all the horrible things that have been said and how my mental health struggles have been handled horribly, but hopefully you get the point with the examples I’ve given. A couple more things to know is that I have my drivers permit but not my license due to the fact I have terrible anxiety when it comes to driving so i haven’t been able to get my hours in(but even if i had my license my parents have already told me i wouldn’t be allowed to go anywhere that wouldn’t be up to their standards). I also have opened up to one set of grandparents and several aunts and uncles who all have steady jobs and safe homes, about my situation and they all have said I can move in with them and that they’ll help me get back on my feet, help me with graduating, and finding a job. My parents have never physically or sexually abused me, but the emotional and mental abuse is horrible, but i don’t think that’s enough for any authority to take seriously. And some people have told me “oh, you’re 17 just wait one more year” but I’ve been dealing with this for years now, and it’s starting to get to a place where im just not ok and can’t take it anymore and I’m so lonely because im never allowed to go anywhere or have friends. I’ve tried to explain to my parents how much their words hurt and how the majority of LGBT youth that kill themselves lived in unaccepting households. But they think that’s the devil talking and the “media brainwashing me” . So, i just turned 17, I still have quite the wait until I turn 18. If I moved in with my grandparents or one of my aunt and uncles house could that get me or them in legal trouble? I know about emancipation but I don’t think that would work, and I definitely don’t have enough money for a lawyer ( plus I would hate to have to put my younger brothers through that.) I just would like to know what you think my best option is and what I can and cannot do. I know this was very long, but I truly do appreciate you taking the time to read this.

    Comment


    • ccsmod16
      ccsmod16 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Its understandable that you would be nervous putting out there what you have gone through. We want you to know that you aren’t alone and we understand the pain that you are facing. Its absolutely deplorable how your parents have treated you and it speaks well of the rest of your family that your aunts and uncles and grandparents seem willing to help however they can. Nobody should have to go through the kind of emotional abuse that you have shared here, especially from a parent. It seems like the church is what your parents would listen to most. It may be worth sharing with the pastor or someone else you may trust there about your depression and anxiety and how your parents have emotionally abused you about it. It is understandable if you don’t feel comfortable with that but pressure from the church may convince them to look into what depression actually is instead of thinking that a short week of medication would somehow “fix” the issue.
      In regards to your question you likely wouldn’t get in legal trouble as running away is a Status Offence and not a criminal one. Your parents may try to punish you in some way but the police would simply bring you back home. For those you stay with there is a chance they could face a Harboring a Runaway charge but that is up to the discretion of the police whether to press charges. We aren’t legal experts but as far as we know generally if those you are staying with don’t try to hide you or get in the way of the police if they came to look for you there then they usually don’t face charges. It may be worth having someone call the police non-emergency line anonymously and ask what their policy is.
      You mentioned being LGBT so we would also like to recommend thetrevorproject.org and glbthotline.org as other resources that might help you feel heard or have other ideas for your situation.
      Hopefully this information is helpful, it seems like you have been going through so much for so long and if you have more questions or just need someone to talk to you can always call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

  • Hey, so I’m 17 and I’m thinking about moving out to my brothers place, he is 20. I can’t take it here at home anymore, my mom is a crazy Spanish women who is not stable. She yells constantly and gets mad. My dad doesn’t listen to anyone and just gets mad at me all the time, he shoved me the other day and he tried to pin me and I shoved him back. He than slapped me, and said “try something I dare you”. I’m really starting to get pissed off and I can drive and I have a stable job, so I hope I can go live with my brother, but I don’t want my parents filing a report to get me. I love in North Carolina, I would appreciate any help I could get.

    Comment


    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thanks for contacting NRS and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you with figuring out your next steps in this difficult situation. Asking for help was really responsible and smart of you. We are sorry to hear things are so unstable at home. You deserve to live somewhere that makes you feel safe and supported.

      It sounds like you would much rather live with your brother and he would provide a much more comfortable living environment for you. However, if you leave without the permission of your parents, they do have the option of reporting you as a runaway since you are still a minor. Running away is not illegal, but it is a status offense. While you would not get into any legal trouble, if your parents know where you are staying or you come into contact with law enforcement then a police officer might bring you back home. In some areas police protocol is more lenient and they do not necessarily consider an individual who leaves home at 17 a runaway. If this is the case for your area then police would not force you back home. You can anonymously call the non-emergency line for your local police department to ask about how they handle runaway reports.

      The easiest way to leave home as a minor is with your parent's permission. We know you mentioned your mom in particular can be very difficult to communicate with, but if you think it is possible to sit her down for a conversation this could make leaving easier for you. Sometimes explaining to parents why leaving home could be beneficial for both you and them can get them to consider your perspective a bit more. If there is someone who your parents trust, you can reach out to them to ask for their help as a mediator in this conversation to keep things calm.

      We truly want to be a support for you as you decide on your next steps. We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. Please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone or chat if you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation and explore your options. You can contact us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.

      Stay safe,
      NRS

  • Hello my name is maria I live in arizona and my daughter lives in nc her father and I have split custody that he has never abided by several times contempted and we wind up back in court once my child was touched sexually by his minor brother 14 her 3 since no penetration nd both minors dss just put in safety plan for everyone nd she was forced to see her abuser on the daily even had a restraining order against her father because he threw a beer can at her head at 9 but I have always tried to keep things civil go to court not withhold her from him just abide legally however two days ago my daughters babysitter tried getting a restraining order for her again against her father he was drunk as always and threatened whole house of sitter which including our daughter nd 3 other minor children threatened to slit the throat of one of my daughters minor friends as well day b4 threatened to bust our daughters phone against her forehead called her very abusive words that an 11yr old shouldn't even have to hear but sitter couldn't get one because she isnt blood relative police told her to call social services or take her to a trusted blood relative warned sitter that if my child was at any home that wasnt a parent that if a parent showed up the child would have to return to parent they could not hold her from him even if he were drunk as long as he didn't drive himself there my daughter refused to go back to sitters or home was scared has been through alot and honestly I'm sure theres times I dont even know about I am scared for her she even went as far as saying she will kill herself if they make her go back to him or put her with someone she doesn't know so sitter took her to my grandmother she is currently there safe but has begged me every 20mins for last 2 days to please get her here she fears shell b found mistreated and it's already hard for her to even keep contact with me because he does his best to not allow it sometimes week or more b4 I hear from her and only a few minutes at a time but needs to be here with me asap because granny is 80 and she fears her father will find her and force her home 2 were all afraid she will hurt herself if he doesn't hurt her first i have 2 other children and am currently not working so getting her here is more than complicated especially since she is a minor nd hard for her to travel alone is there any services that yall offer or do u know of anywhere that offers services that can help us get her away from domestic violence and home with us please get back to me asap everyday that passes is detrimental thanks also i do have joint custody nd believe i am custodial parent but police cant enforce it and he doesn't abide by it he told sitter he was gonna get her for kidnapping not sure he can and unsure if hes reported anything because we dont speak never really been good with each other at communication just want my daughter to b able to b a child nd enjoy life like she should and feel faulted over all this because I could've gotten full custody awhile back but I didnt I trusted he had kicked his habit nd wanted to b the father she deserved again (used 2 b the best to her and my son from previous relationship until we split)so gave him a chance when I shouldn't have and now were here PLEASE HELP US HELP HER

    Comment


    • ccsmod16
      ccsmod16 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi,
      Thank you for reaching out to us; we are glad that you did. This situation sounds really scary and dangerous for your child and her grandmother and everyone involved. We are sorry that the laws favor the custodial parent, unless social services is involved, and so all of this must be scary and stressful for you since you are so far away. She has been through so very much and we hope our program can help.

      We administer the Home Free program on behalf of Greyhound Buslines for youth aged 12-21, and the program has to be initiated by the youth by calling our hotline at 1800-786-2929 (1800-runaway). If the youth is aged 12-15, a guardian ticket must be issued and someone must accompany the youth. Some circumstances raise the guardian ticket age to 16.

      We hope this information helps you and your daughter’s situation and that we hear from her soon at 1800-786-2929
      Sincerely,
      NRS

  • hi i am 9 years old and i really feel like runing away i been reading on what to pack and if i will be safe me and my mom get in arguements for sometimes no resons when we talk its like she only think about her self so her if a example i ask to get top bunk she said my little sister who is 3 YEARS FREAKING OLD was going to get the top bunk this was so unbelived able i tried comeing up with some good resons why she should be on bottom bunk but she said "I am your mother i what i says goes" and i was pissed that i put tht pee is pissed and all i want to do is leave when i try to talk about my feelings she says "You need to be good beacuse honestly you need to start behaveing and i am your mother and what i say goes". so thats going to be her exuse for everything like i am hurt deeply. i am really being pushed of the edge please say something that makes me whant to stay

    Comment


    • ccsmod1
      ccsmod1 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. It must be really frustrating to have such an empty response like that from your mom when you protest her actions. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

      It seems like your mom isn’t fully understanding you when you are trying to relay your thoughts and feelings about your current situation. It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your mom so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself.

      If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

      We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

      Stay safe,
      NRS

  • i want to runaway to my friends house. im 13, i thought that i’d try to stay home til 15 but it’s been getting harder. i cant bear to live with my family anymore. i don’t want to cause any trouble for my friends family though. i’ve thought about running away for months now but i’ve been trying to endure the pain. any advice?

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello There,
      Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It seems like you have been going through a really difficult time lately, and we want you to know that you are not alone. It sounds like you have a lot of pain you may want to consider reaching out to a school counselor or a therapist. We know many schools are closed right now but some school counselors are meeting with students virtually.
      We know you mentioned wanting to run away, we are not legal experts but do have some information. If you were to leave your home, because you are a minor your legal guardian could file a runaway report. If the police were to find you they most likely would bring you back home. Also whoever you would stay with could potentially get in trouble for harboring a runaway.
      We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. Best of luck!
      NRS

  • Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
    I'm tired of my family

    In tired of my family,hi I'm 12 years old and live in North Carolina I recently moved in with my dad about 9 months ago.at the beginning of me moving in he was chill and I could hang out with friends and things but recently he has been going off the hook he would be getting drunk every night and he smokes pot.one night I got really mad at him and went outside in the cold rain cause I was and he told me to come inside and I refused he started chasing me but I was to fast and he fell and tripped over a puddle when I was running I was scared half to death cause I did not know what was going to happen when he caught me. My parents split up about 2 years ago and when they were together my dad used to beat me and give me welts and he choked my mom once. But the reason I moved out of my moms house is because she got mad at me for no reason called her boyfriend in there he grabbed me by my ankles and threw me to the ground, my mom sat on top of me and held my arms down yelling in my face who do u think u are!?!?. I used all of my strength to push her off and I was yelling at her to get off cause I couldn't breath! I finally got her off and ran out side but while all This was happening my brother was sitting there laughing at me and telling me to chill like I will not chill when I can't breath!. But recently at my dads house I got into trouble for almost fighting and my grades suck so he grounded me and I have a funeral to go to and he told me to bad for u! That really peed me off! So now I'm thinking about running away I have a place to stay at my friends house with food and water, but she lives down the road from my dad....so how would that work but if u have advice on what I can do plz help me. But the reason I don't wanna go back to my mom cause like me and her are on good terms but I just don't want to go back to the environment cause her boyfriend also smokes pot. But I don't understand why my mom is still with him cause the first night I stayed there with him my sister who is 17 was with a fiend and my brother who is 16 was with a friend btw my mom treats my brother like gold. But anyways the first night I stayed there he pushed her to the ground and stood there looking at her.. And I really hate violence because when I was little my mom used to get beat by my dad every night and slapped and things (don't know why my mom stayed with him till 2 years ago) but if someone could help me figure this out that would be greAt.thx
    I think it would be better to not stay with any of them.
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 07-03-2020, 02:16 AM.

    Comment


    • ccsmod4
      ccsmod4 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for your comment. NRS

  • Hello... I’m 13 years old and I’ve lived here in North Carolina at this house since I was born, I feel unsafe and uncomfortable, my mother always calls me names and sometimes even neglects and treats me lower than my brother... my father recently started touching my thighs, stomach, and sometimes even poking my butt which is really violating to me and I’m seriously considering running away, I have a couple friends who would be able to help out one of which lives not too far away, and the other can’t physically help me but she’s the one whose been helping me through most of this. Oh and I haven’t mentioned my brother, he has physically hurt me before and he is only 15, he also yells and intrudes on my personal space. I feel very violated and I don’t want to move away from my friends and such so I don’t want to call the police that is why living with a friend would be easiest for me and I have even written a note that would explain to my parents what I’ve been feeling, here is what the note says- “I ran away, yes this is probably not something you want to read but, I don’t feel comfortable with you guys anymore and it’s my choice and it’s the best thing I could think of because I don’t want to hurt you more than I have. Please don’t report a missing persons, I am safe living with a friend and will message you occasionally to tell you I’m alright and living well, I may come visit again someday but not any time soon I just need a lot of space ok!” I don’t know if that’s good enough or not I just really need help right now and to get away.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a really difficult situation at home and are contemplating running away. We are so glad you sought our help—you have come to the right place.

      It is important you know first of all that no one deserves to be emotionally and sexually abused like this. In your post, you state that you do not feel safe and comfortable at home, and you absolutely should not have to feel like this. You indicate not wanting to call the police, but you should know that the police will always be available to respond to immediate danger in your home. They can be reached at 911. You can also always report an abuse to Child Protective Services. If you want help understanding how this works you can reach out to Child Help at 1-800-422-4453. We can also walk you through the process of abuse reporting at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are always here to help.

      Your decision to run away seems based on your need for the real love and respect you deserve. It is great that you have put so much mature thought into it. It is important that you consider that leaving home without parental consent can lead to police involvement. While it is not illegal for a minor to run away, it is considered a status offense (like smoking a cigarette when you are a minor) and if your parents report you as a runaway, the police will try to find you and bring you back home. Perhaps reaching out to the friend with whom you want to stay and enlisting their parent/guardian to become involved in getting your parents’ consent would help. You have made an important step in running away—figuring out where you will go; now, you simply need to figure out the steps to get there and stay there, if that is what you want. If you feel like you want a better picture of this, you can reach out to us at any time.

      We hope that some of this information was useful to you. You have been very brave in the face of a very hard situation, and you deserve freedom from your home, if that’s what you want. As you take this journey, we hope that you will consider us an ally. We can always talk to you at 1-800-RUNAWAY or via instant messenger at 1800runaway.org.

      Stay safe and strong out there.
      Sincerely,
      NRS

  • Hi I'm about to turn 17 and I'm verbally abused at my house my dad threatens me all the time and my mother kicked me out at a young age i have been thinking about running away for so long but scared to because I don't wanna leave my siblings behind to deal with the same thing my dad won't lete do anything have a job see friends or even see my boyfriend I'm so tierd of this I have been told by my friends that if I need a place to stay I can stay with them what should I do

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you so much for reaching out. It really seems like you feel isolated and abused in your home. It's also understandable why you would be nervous to leave your siblings, they are lucky to have someone like you who really cares about their well-being. You do not deserve to be verbally abused by anyone but especially by a parent who is supposed to support and care for you. We understand it can take a great deal of courage to reach out for help, and we are glad you to support you in anyway that we can.

      It can definitely be a big decision to decide to leave home, and it seems like you are worried about your siblings. But, with having no freedom and being verbally abused it is completely understandable why you would be considering leaving, and we're glad to hear you have friends who care for you. When it comes to making the decision to leave, there can be a lot to consider. We hope we can help you make the best, most-informed decision. It could be helpful to consider how you would support yourself, if your friends would let you stay long term, how you would continue school, etc. When it comes to considering your plan and how people in your life would react, you know your situation, your dad, and your friends best.

      It also may be helpful to be aware of some of the runaway laws in North Carolina. We are not legal experts, but we know some general rules. Youth are technically not allowed to leave home until they are 18. Running away is not illegal, but parents and guardians are expected to file runaway reports with the police. This means that your local police will be made aware that you have left, and if you were to end up in their custody, they would most likely return you home. It's also important to note that Harboring a Runaway laws exist in some places. This means your guardian could potentially press charges against whoever you stayed with, but to our knowledge, this does not happen very often.

      By sharing this information, we do not wish to give you advice on what is best for you, we just want to encourage that all possibilities have space to be explored so you can make a decision that feels comfortable and safe for you. If you would like to continue to discuss your plans or talk more about your situation, you can call us at 1-800-786-2929 or live chat with us through our website. It seems like even though you are going through a lot with your dad, you really care about your siblings and exploring your possibilities. We are open 24/7/365 and we are confidential, if there is anything else we can help you with, please do not hesitate to reach out.

      Best of luck and stay safe,
      NRS
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