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My Runaway Rights in North Carolina

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  • #91
    Hi I am 14 years old and live in North Carolina will be 15 in August but I was wondering if I would get in any trouble if I ran away from home because I ran away in the past and went live with my sister for a while after living with my mom because my step mom was hitting on me and left a mark on my face and I called the law now I decided to come back and try to give them another chance to show me that they really do care about me but it’s like they won’t let me go anywhere and they don’t trust me and they’re always accusing me of something might not abuse me physically know but now it’s like she’s 24 seven mentally abusing me so would I get in any trouble

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi,
      Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a situation at home that is unhealthy and unsafe, and this must be really hard. We are so glad you have contacted us for help.
      It is important you know that no one deserves to be abused, physically or mentally. If you are ever in a situation at home that is threatening your safety, you can always call Child Help, the National Child Abuse Hotline. They are there to support you and can even help you report the incident, just like you have done in the past. It must feel very frustrating to not get to go anywhere, to not be trusted, and to be accused of things. It sounds like you are not being respected by your family. Now you want to run away, but you are concerned about whether or not you will get in trouble. We are not legal experts here, but it is our general knowledge that if you run away in any state as a minor, you parent or legal guardian can report you as a runaway and the police can try to find you and bring you back home. This is something to consider as you contemplate running away. If you have more concerns or questions about running away, you are welcome to call us and we can help. We are here 24/7 at 1-800-786-2929.
      We hope that you find this helpful. You are very brave to have reached out to us. Your situation must feel lonely and hard at times, but you are taking big, important steps already. Good luck to you!

      Sincerely,
      National Runaway Safeline

  • #92
    I have learning disabled. My mom is not spending time with me. I get a check and child support. I don't get nothing out of it. I am tired
    ​​​​ of being used so many years. I am turning 16 in January 17 2020. I am planning to stay with my Dad. All my mom do is spending money on her self


    ​​​​


    ​​​​

    Comment


    • ccsmod10
      ccsmod10 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for telling us your story and reaching out. It takes a strong person to tell others what has happened to them. We know how important being supported by the ones you love is. We are sorry to hear that your mom is not spending time with you and is spending your money on herself. Hopefully things will be different when you go and stay with your dad. One service we can offer until then is to conference call with your mom. This way you could have a conversation with your mom but you would not be alone. For example, it may be hard for you to explain to your mom how she makes you feel when she does not spend time with you or why you want to go live with your dad. Sometimes those conversations go better in a conference call because we can advocate for you. If you want to reach us, you can chat with us anytime at 1800runaway.org or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We’re here 24/7, and we are ready to listen and help however we can.

      Wish you the best

      -NRS

  • #93
    Hi. I have a friend who is 13. She is having a really rough time with her family right now. It’s been going on for a while. There is no physical abuse. But I guess you could consider it verbal abuse. They get on her for every little thing. Even when she has done nothing wrong. Is it possible for her to live with me? Or would my family get charged with harboring a runaway. She is just not happy in her home right now. And I really want to help her

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,
      Thank you so much for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline! First of all, it is very brave and kind of you to reach out on behalf of your friend and we think it is extremely admirable that you want to help your friend. It sounds like your friend is in a very frustrating situation. Everyone should feel safe at home and feel loved and respected.
      If your friend doesn’t feel comfortable talking with her parents and explaining to them how she does not deserve this kind of verbal abuse, she can also look into group therapy with her parents. If there is anyone at school that she trusts like a teacher or a guidance counselor, to sit down all together and talk through what is going on at home. Or if there is another member of her family that wouldn’t mind mediating that conversation. If not, we at the National Runaway Safeline are also always here and would be more than happy to facilitate a conference call with your friend and her parents. We would talk with your friend first about what they’re going through and then once she is ready, we would go ahead and conference in her parents and mediate the conversation to ensure that there is no verbal abuse and try to make sure each party understands each point of view.
      What you mentioned is correct, if your friend leaves her home without her parents’ permission, they could file a runaway report with the police. What this would mean is that if the police found out where she was, they may be able to pick her up and then could charge you and your family with harboring a runaway.
      If you or your friend have any questions or simply would like to talk things through, we are always here. We are available 24/7 toll free and you can reach us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We wish you and your friend the best of luck with everything!

  • #94
    My whole life I’ve had problems with my family but it’s gotten worse. I’m 15 and from North Carolina and thinking about emancipation or running away. My mom and dad yell at me constantly about anything I do even if I don’t do anything wrong and my siblings both hate me and want nothing to do with me. 2 weeks ago I got in a big fight with my family and after I came home from summer camp yesterday I immediately was attacked verbally by my family and they told me they were happier before I came home. I don’t know what to do but I’m so broken and borderline suicidal and don’t want to live in my house anymore I can’t stay here till I’m 18

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there thanks for reaching out to us. We are sorry to hear that living at home with your parents has been challenging and sounds stressful. As you mentioned, fighting with your family sounds extremely frustrating. We think it is great you are reaching out and we are here to support you and brainstorm with you about some options that you think may best fit your situation.

      It sounds like living in your home is difficult with the fighting and you sometimes feel suicidal. We do want to mention the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255/suicidepreventionlifeline.org) are a great resource that are always there to listen if you do feel suicidal. Although you do not have to be suicidal to call, they are 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you. They are always there to listen if you want to talk to someone. If you are ever in immediate danger of taking your own life, you can call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room for immediate help. Calling 911, someone will be sent to check on you. We are also 24/7 by call (1-800-786-2929) and live chat here on our website and are always open to talking to youth struggling with things like problems with their parents, custody, and mental health.

      It is not okay to be verbally attacked by your family and treated in a way that makes you feel broken. It sounds hard being at home in an environment that makes you feel less than others in your family. We do want to mention if you feel what is according is abusive from your family, you always have the right to report. Child Help (1-800-422-4453, childhelp.org) is another organization that has crisis counselors on staff 24/7 who can give you more information on abuse situations, what is considered abuse, and how to report if you do want to explore that as well. We can also help you explore abuse reporting as well as reporting with you if you do want to pursue that option. We are mandated reporters meaning if you share any personal info (like your name, address, you parents’ names, etc) we would have to pass along what we know to Child Protective Services, but if you do not share that info we can continue to talk confidentially as we are now. We can also brainstorm other options like emancipation and if you do decide to leave home we can always talk about that as well as your safety is our top priority.


      Thanks again for reaching out! It shows a lot of strength, as you are certainly going through a lot and that can be hard to talk about.
      We are 24/7 and feel free to reach out to us any time by phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

      Best, NRS

  • #95
    It appears as if this hasn't been used for a while but I suppose I will say something. I'm 16 years old and I live in North Carolina. My mom is disabled, and I love her with all my heart, but she really does make me feel like dirt. She blamed me for losing her job because of numerous doctor's appointments, and she's had opportunities on top of opportunities to get another job but doesn't fill out for them. Because of my health condition, she constantly nags me to eat and exercise so much its to the point where I just gave up eating and my body is always sore from all the dancing and running and lifting that I do. I usually help her get dressed, bathe, eat, and tuck her into bed, but she seems to not appreciate anything I do when I'm the only one that uses time out of my day to do it. Because of her, I've given up my dreams of being an anthropologist to become a nurse by force. She's forcing me to take health science classes and the nurse aid programs when I'd much rather study history. I suppose now the nurse thing doesn't bother me since I'm a caretaker by heart. Recently, she took my valuables simply because I didn't want to learn a dance routine, and I preferred dancing to another song. She tells me I'm going to die and if I won't prevent it then she won't either, and not only that, but she keeps telling me I'm going to be the size of one of my grandmother's, both of which have passed this year.

    She also won't accept me as someone who is a closeted homoflexible (a bisexual, but far more of a lesbian than anything). And she'd be sure to shun me then. My little sister is the only one that accepts me the most in the whole family so I could easily say she's a favorite. My little brother and older sister both seem to be pretty homophobic, along with my remaining grandfather's and various other family members, despite the fact that they claim that they're not, and use the excuse of having gay friends as a cover up for the fact that they don't approve of my preferences.

    I've grown so sick and tired of being told this and so many other things that make me doubt my self-worth. I'm tired of crying myself to sleep at night because of how my family mocks me for being less than feminine and being attached to and liking certain things. I'm tired of being afraid to make friends because I'm always judged about who I become friends with. I'm tired of sometimes wishing I was never born so that maybe everyone could be happy. She has no idea at all that I'm already looking for houses to rent and putting in lots of job applications. Should I just continue filling out for jobs and searching for houses, or should I maybe just sit down and tell her how I feel, despite the fact that she obviously doesn't care about my feelings, and she's stated multiple times before?

    Comment


    • ccsmod9
      ccsmod9 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.We are sorry you are goin through so much and feel like you don’t have a way out. As far as looking for houses and such. It important to know that18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. As far as feeling alone please know you are not and can always give us a call or another option to gain great support from those that are familiar with the issues and experiences of those that are also a part of the LGBTQ community. You can access their website link bellow to utilize all the other possibly useful resources they have to offer: http://www.glbthotline.org/ . If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      We hope to hear from you soon.
      Be safe, NRS

  • #96
    I ran away at 15 in north carolina and got put into a mental hospital, they honestly dont care if youre being abused or not.. i had bruises all over my body and all, came home my windows got boarded up, im 17 never and cant even leave the house.. im so ready to turn 18!

    Comment


    • ccsmod10
      ccsmod10 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

      Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

      If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best

      We hope to hear from you soon.
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #97
    I'm 15 and my close friends mom wants me to ask my mom can I move in with her... I need to in my personal opinion... And we'll I know my mom will probably say no but I think it will be best for me. So what do I do if my mom says no is there a way by law that I can? Because I'm thinking of running away if she says no

    Comment


    • ccsmod1
      ccsmod1 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do. We aren’t legal experts here at NRS, but generally speaking, as a minor you can not live where you'd like without prior permission from your guardian. If you do opt to leave your home your mom can file a runaway report, which is essentially a missing person report. Running away is a status offense; this means that it isn’t illegal, but it’s something you can’t do while still a minor. If a runaway report is filed and you are located by the authorities you will most likely be returned home.

      If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

      Stay safe,
      NRS

  • #98
    My daughters beat friend has been both sexually and emotionally abused by her mom. Her dad has wanted nothing to do with her lately. A couple of days ago my daughter brought her to our house after a sexual assault by her mom. We did everything we could. We filed a CPS investigation and went to the police however she was still forced to go back home with her mom. She is currently in the hospital with suicidal ideation. Her mom is trying to alienate her from everyone who cares about her. What are her options once she is discharged?

    Comment


    • ccsmod1
      ccsmod1 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      Thank you so much for having the courage to reach out and share a bit about what's going on with your daughter's friend. It's so great to see that you are working to advocate for her. She does not deserve to be abused in any way and it's worrisome to see that CPS has kept her under her mother's guardianship. Some areas have transitional housing for runaway, homeless and in-crisis youth that work towards creating self-sufficiency and she may be a good candidate for programs like these. When she is released from the hospital it might be a good idea to have her contact us directly by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY or by chatting with us via the "CHAT" button on the top of our homepage so we can discuss her situation in depth and explore other options that she may have.

      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #99
    im tatum and im 16. my whole family are drug heads. ive never had a steady home for more then an year.ive lived in hotels and ive been homeless at one point. since i was 5 id bounce off couches with my dad or live with my mom and her boyfriend. they all are drug addicts. my dad does coke and mom does pills while her boyfriend does meth. my girlfriend (20) lives with us (mom and her bf) and wants me to leave too because she sees how it is . my mom is very sick mentally and diagnosed with lot of disorders.and does not take her meds. ive been abused one way or another every house hold ive lived at.mentally sexually and phycically at one point. i ran away from my dads after my dads girlfriend threatened me with a gun and told me ive been lesbian too long. and made statments saying she was going to send me somewhere ill be rapped.so i ran to my moms after not seeing her for 4 years shes told me she hasnt touched a drug in years but she keeps getting caught in lies about it. so many times cps was called because of them. my sister and my brother has both tried to kill them selfs at one point and i began to self harm for a little bit. not anymore though. i now live with my mom her boyfriend and my girlfriend in a very bad trailer park with meth heads everywhere. at least 3 times there has been a shoot out or cops called over fights. my mom gets drugged up and pretends i dont know. if i confront her she swears up and down she hasnt. but ive seen her walk into a hospital thinking its a store. come on now. im not dumb.plus her boyfriend does meth and they fist fight all the time i want to run away but i need to think. im done trying to be a kid i just want to be happy. and have my own place with a job and support myself since no one else can.what can i do? i have no option to move in with any family because theyve given me chronic ptsd and i cant handle it. i just want to finally live. please help me. thank you.

    Comment


    • ccsmod6
      ccsmod6 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      It sounds like you have been going through a lot for a long time. It makes sense that you are ready to start your own life. It’s not ok that your parents have been abusing you and putting you through all that for so long. It sounds like your girlfriend is supportive of you and wants you to be somewhere safe and happy too. It’s great to have that kind of support. It also sounds like your mom has a lot going on that is out of your control and it must be a lot for you and your siblings to deal with. Nar-Anon is a national group for people that have love ones who have an addiction problem. Sometimes it can be helpful being around people that have similar problems to what you are going through. You can find a meeting near you with this website (www.nar-anon.org). It could also be helpful talking to a trusted adult at school, like a school counselor or social worker. They might know some local resources or other options that could help you.
      If you have someone to stay with, you can stay there with your parent’s permission. It’s called an alternate living situation. It’s best to get their permission in writing, or you can check your local police station to see if there are more formal paperwork to fill out.

      If you have thought about filing an abuse report, Child Help is a great resource that can walk you through the process and can answer more direct questions about the process and the possible outcomes (www.childhlep.org). If you decide to leave without permission and need help finding a shelter in your area you can call or chat with us and we can look for something near you. If you decide to leave and want more information about how you can stay in school while you are homeless here is a website that could help you with that (https://nche.ed.gov/). There is also a program called Job Corps. It’s a nationwide residential career training program. So you could stay there while getting training for a job or help finishing high school. You can look more into the program and fill out a form if you are interested at (https://www.jobcorps.gov/).

      If you would like to look into emancipation, here are the qualifications for North Carolina:
      In determining the best interests of the petitioner and the need for emancipation, the court shall review the following considerations:
      (1) The parental need for the earnings of the petitioner;
      (2) The petitioner's ability to function as an adult;
      (3) The petitioner's need to contract as an adult or to marry;
      (4) The employment status of the petitioner and the stability of the petitioner's living arrangements;
      (5) The extent of family discord which may threaten reconciliation of the petitioner with the petitioner's family;
      (6) The petitioner's rejection of parental supervision or support; and
      (7) The quality of parental supervision or support.
      If those are requirement you think you can meet and would like to move forward with it, you can also contact us for legal help in that process. We have local law offices that could help you.


      I know this is a lot a information all at once. If you would like to talk about your situation more specifically we are available to call or chat 24/7 (1-800-786-2929 or www.1800runaway.org). It’s really brave of you to reach out for help. Your safety is our number one priority.
      Good Luck.

  • Hi im 14 years old and im having sum real bad problems at home i ran away yesterday bc my brother choked me and i fought him back and my mom yelled at meand slapped me and i packed my stuff and wrnt out side she called the police and i was there just stilling behind a tree hor two hours and i went back in and asked her y i could leave bc she kicked me out me before but i never left and she just yelled at me and dragged me and scrathed up my face so i walk an hour to my friends house at 10 at night i was scared but i had to go it wss cold my foot was soaked in water got there a 11 and got sum socks and blanket and laid in the car bc i did want them to get arrested but she made me go in about and hour later the police came and took me home and went to bed in the morning my mom came in my room lying saying she loves me when she dont and she said she would took to me again when she comes home she comes back and k was sleep she woke me up to yell at me saying i couldnt have my phone or see my boyfriend ever again and i got mad ans asked her y she came to just yell at me and she caught and attiude and try to hit me and i was blocking in and she said i hit her and she was punching my im my head and sitting on my chest i couldny breath at all and she wouldn't move a
    so i bite her and scrathched her fo get off and nlw shes trying to sed me away and called the police i want to run away again idk wat to do.

    Comment


    • Hello,

      Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like things at home are really difficult. You do not deserve to be treated that way. It was really brave of you to contact us.You can always call 911 if you feel like you are in immediate danger at home. We understand if that is something you do not feel comfortable with. A resource we can offer you is Child Help. They can help you in regards to how your mom is treating you. They can offer support to you and answer any questions you may have about abuse. They are also able to help report the abuse going on at home if that is something you want to do.

      We can offer you additional support via our live chat on our website www.1800runaway.org or our hotline which you can call us at 1800-786-2929. This is a challenging time and we can offer whatever support we can! We are available 24/7 and are confidential.

      Stay safe!
      The National Runaway Safeline
      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

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