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My Runaway Rights in North Carolina

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  • ccsmod11
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for contacting us at the National Runaway Safeline. It takes great courage to reach out for help and we are glad that you decided to reach out.

    It sounds like you are having a hard time with your mom and want to be independent. It also seems like you realize you do have some challenges but you would like to make decisions on your own. This can be certainly challenging. Talking to your mom about how you feel and coming up with a plan with your therapist, doctor or social worker about how you can be a little more independent without putting your safety at risk can be helpful. Your safety is of utmost importance and it can be be helpful to talk discuss this with appropriate people before taking any steps. We are not legal experts however if your mom is to file a police report and she is your guardian the police can bring you back home.

    Living by yourself can be challenging. It can be helpful to think about how you might pay for rent, food, and other living expenses. It can be helpful to calculate how much you make right now and subtract taxes, and the average rent in your area and living expenses before taking any steps to make sure you could afford living by yourself. Also it may be possible that since your mom is your guardian many places may need your mom's permission to let you stay by yourself.

    We are here to support you through this hard. If you chose you can call us at our confidential hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY(786-2929) and we can listen to you, explore your options and provide you resources. You can also contact NAMI at 1-800-950-NAMI and they can help support you through your challenges.

    You are acting strong by reaching out for help. We wish you the best.

    Best,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I am 24 years old but my mom has guardianship over me when I was 20 and she still has guardianship over me. I have a job and I know how budget and I know how dress myself. Yes I little bit learning difficulties, but I know how life works around me. I want to be free and tired of living under my moms roof. Can I run away without the police doing anything about it ?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod7
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for contacting National Runaway Safeline (NRS). It sounds like you feel betrayed by your family and are experiencing some stress caused by this. We are here for you and we can provide support for you.

    We are not legal experts here at NRS, but we can provide you with some general legal information. As a minor, your parents may be entitled to file a runaway report if you do choose to runaway. Running away is a status offense. Which means that you could be picked up by the police and taken back to your legal guardians. Additionally, while we are not legal experts, if you would be staying with an adult that is not your legal guardian, they could be at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway, which is usually considered a misdemeanor.

    If you feel like your home is not in a safe place, you can reach out to Child Help, which is a National Child Abuse Hotline, and can be reached at 1-800-422-4453, or childhelp.org. If you ever feel like you are in immediate danger, call emergency services at 911.

    Thank you again for reaching out to us. If you would like to talk more about this situation, please feel free to reach us by phone or chat. Our hotline is 24/7 and toll free (1-800-786-2929).

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Neglect, Emotional Health deteriorating, mental health messed up

    Hi I’m 15 years old, I’ll be 16 in a couple months. I have a boyfriend who is 19. My parents were okay with it at first but the other day, things went downhill fast. The other night I got caught doing something I wasn’t supposed to with my boyfriend (he was spending the night that night). I live with my parents and my grandma and my little sister. My grandma caught me and I thought she wouldn’t do what she did. She went straight into my parents room and told my parents . Then she grabbed my boyfriend by the throat and pushed him out of my house. Then she hit me across the face multiple times. Take into consideration that she just had severe neck surgery. But anyways she hurt me and my boyfriend. When my mom came out of the room she pushed my grandma (my grandmas my dads mom). My mom has always stuck up for me. Then I was screamed at by my dad saying I’m such a whore I should die he’ll bear my ass. Then he told me to get out. He kicked me out. My boyfriend was gonna press charges for assault and neglect for me my mom and him. But my dad threatened to Jill him. The next morning after things calmed down and we were told to come back in. We were told to get out again. This time all 3 of us us left. But for hours my dad called my mom me and my boyfriend and threatened all of us to call the cops. He threatened to put me in for runaway, when he told me to get out. He threatened to put my mom in, for neglect when she was told to get out. He threatened to put my boyfriend in for kid napping, when he didn’t kidnap me at all. Then my dad calls my grandfather and tells him everything. Finally my dad comes to get us 3 and to take my boyfriend home because he didn’t have a ride until the next morning. My dad promised for everything to be ok in a week. I didn’t get my phone taken, I just wasn’t able to see my boyfriend for a week or two. Then my little sister tells on me and almost gets me put away in jail. Then last night my cousin calls me and says I can talk to her if I need to rant but then I rant to her and she calls my grandma and gets me into more trouble. It’s a lot of betrayal. I wanna runaway and live with my boyfriend. But I’m concerned about the laws.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod1
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do. We aren’t legal experts here at NRS, but generally speaking, if you do opt to leave your home your parents can file a runaway report, which is essentially a missing person report. Running away is a status offense; this means that it isn’t illegal, but it’s something you can’t do while still a minor. If a runaway report is filed and you are located by the authorities you will most likely be returned to your parents.

    You parents should be taking away basic necessities like your clothing and bedding and denying you an education. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is happening at home or if you feel like there is neglect of your general needs, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering. It may also be a good idea to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

    It is perfectly okay to deviate from what your parents or others believe to be “normal”. It is completely natural to explore and discover your sexuality. You are so strong for having gone through so much without having the acceptance that you do deserve for just being you. Remember that you are not alone. The LGBT Youth National Talkline could be a resource that can be a source of great support. The hotline is run by those that are familiar with the issues and experiences of those that are also a part of the LGBTQ community. You can reach them by calling 1-800-246-7743 or you can check out their website at gltbhotline.org. You can also check out the Trevor Project, an organization dedicated to helping LGBT teens by calling 866-488-7386 or by going to thetrevorproject.org.

    If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

    All the best,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi I'm 16 but I turn 17 in less than a month. My parents have recently found out I was questioning my sexuality and they didnt take it well. They took me out of the last month of school before it ended and they took everything away from me. When I say everything I dont just mean electronics they took my bed away and the door off my hinges. They have even went as far to take away my clothes until I even have 3 outfits. Since all of this I have tried to talk with my parents but I have been meet with beatings and more punishments so I try not to talk much now from fear. I'm scared of them and currently just want to leave I have a safe place to go but I'm unsure if legally I can go. I have read about certain cases where a 17 year old has been able to leave. I just dont think I'll be able to do another year with this treatment and sleeping on a floor with a sheet.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod6
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello there,

    Thank you for reaching out to NRS and for sharing your story with us. We are sorry to hear about your situation and what you’ve been dealing with. Ideally, home would be a place where people feel safe, loved, and valued, and you do not deserve to be treated that way. You’ve been very courageous to reach out for help and try your best despite the circumstances.

    Although NRS is not a legal agency, we can try to give a general idea of possible outcomes if you were to run away. As you are considered a minor in your state, you are still under your parents’ guardianship, therefore at any point when you are gone, your dad would be legally within his rights to file a runaway report. Being a runaway is a status offense, and while you would not be charged with a crime, if police came across you, they would probably return you home. Guardians could also potentially press charges against people who took you into their care for “harboring a runaway;” these charges would be misdemeanors, but still criminal offenses.

    In regards to your plan of living with your friend’s family, we would encourage you to speak with your father if you haven’t already about this. Some things to consider would be guardianship, school enrollment, how you would take care of your needs (eating, sleeping, healthcare), and how you would care for your safety if something were to happen. If you were interested, we also offer conference-calling as an option, where we would mediate a constructive conversation between your parents and yourself in order to reach an understanding.

    If you would like to share more, please feel free to call our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or use our Live Chat.


    We hope this information was helpful and take care,
    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    i’m not really sure how this works..
    im 14 years old and i live in north carolina. i live with my dad and he is basically a psychopath. he mentally and verbally abuses me. he doesn’t allow me to do anything. even if i walk into his room and look at him the wrong way he will scream at me and take all of the things i value. i just want to leave i truly can’t take it anymore it’s been going on for years. my friend and her family said they would be glad to let me stay with them but if my dad filed me as a runaway then the people i’m with can be charged for harboring and i wouldn’t want that to happen, so what should i do?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod6
    commented on Guest's reply
    We're glad you reached out to us. We'll try to help. It's understandable that the situation might be hard to talk about. We're not legal experts but we know that running away is not a crime; it's a status offense. If the home where she ran away from files a runaway report, the police may look for her and return her to the home. Also, if she comes to your home, you may be charged for harboring a runaway which is typically considered a misdemeanor offense. If you would like to talk about these issues you can always call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY and discuss the situation and options. We can also give you referrals to legal aid agencies in your area. We are here 24/7 and are confidential. Good luck.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Ok this is extremely hard to talk about. But I need to know. My children were adopted out about 10 years ago. My 18 year old is here with me. My 16 year old is wanting to come home. She is in a group home. She is also run away with a 15 year old. Can she be charged as an adult for leaving with this 15 year old? In North Carolina.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod2
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello! Thank you for reaching out to NRS! You most certainly do not deserve to be treated the way they are treating you. No one should be hurting you or threatening you. Home should be a place where you feel safe and supported. First and foremost you can always reach out to Child Help. They are the national child abuse hotline. You can reach them at 1800-422-4453. They will be able to answer questions regarding abuse and also provide support. Another good resource is NAMI. They are the National alliance on Mental Health. The situations you have been through can take a toll on a person. Their number is 1800-950-NAMI or you can text NAMI to 741741. They can help talk you through
    Now, to answer your questions about running away. You are still a minor so you would need your parent’s permission to leave. They are still legally responsible for you. We are not legal experts, but it is not illegal to run away. If you did and the police found you, they would most likely just bring you back home. If they contacted the police and reported you as a runaway the person you are staying with could potentially be charged with harboring a minor. If you have any more questions please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support.
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    i'm 16 and i live with my mom and my dad. my dad is mentally and physically abusive, and i plan on leaving and go to my friends house during spring break which is in two days. this morning i was later for my bus and my dad yelled and me and threatened to "slap the f**k out of me" , he always threatens me like this and about a year or two ago is when he was really abusive to me. there was once where he threw me across my room and i almost broke something, i left my house for a couple of min to get my thoughts together and my mom and dad hunt me down and forced me to get into their car and go home. i am done living in this house, i can't do it anymore. i'm turning 17 in december. what can i do? is it running away if i go somewhere safe (my friends house) without their permission? can they drag me back home? will i get into trouble? i'm low key scared to leave because i'm afraid i'll be dragged back into my house and my dad will beat me. i already have a lot on my plate regarding school and my personal life and even finding out who i am. my parents always drag me down and make me feel terrible about myself. my father doesn't care and doesn't believe in me. he always plays the victim when he's really not. like back to the thing from this morning, when he was threatening me, he kept saying it my my fault and making me feel bad about myself when i know i shouldn't. i would also like to say when (if) i runaway to my friends house during spring break, i am coming back to my house when it is over. so is that technically running away if i'm coming back? can someone help me out please?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod4
    replied
    Reply:I am 17 years old

    Hello,
    Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

    We understand it takes a lot courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing what’s been going on. We are sorry for you loss. Losing a loved one can be something most difficult to navigate through. After losing your mom it sounds like you have experienced abusive behavior from your uncle and grandmother. It is unfortunate that they are behaving in such an insensitive way. You do not deserve to be mistreated. It’s not your fault that this is happening. However we do want you to know that we understand the situation has taken a lot out of you emotionally. Something to consider in an effort to cope might be to seek counseling. In regards to you leaving home before your 18th birthday;
    You might consider investigating the laws in your state concerning a minor becoming independent or contacting the non-emergency number to the local police department to see if at 17 you might be considered a runaway.
    During this time of struggle NRS wants you to know that we are here to listen and here to help.
    You are free to talk about your situation and explore some options.
    Reaching out today was a big step. Good for you.
    You are your best advocate for help.

    Stay strong,
    NRS

    We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I am 17 years old (I turn 18 near the end of November) and I want to move out without my legal guardians approval. My mother passed away over two years ago and I have lived with my grandmother since. She is continuously making comments about weight, clothes, and lifestyle and these comments are boarding on mental and emotional abuse.I also have to beg to go out with friends once in a while or just to go out for a bit to clear my head, I even have to plead to go to school functions that would heavily benefit me and 99% of the time Im not allowed to go. I have also brought up moving out to my legal guardian and my grandmother but when I did they laughed in my face and wouldn’t have a real conversation with me treating me like a child for saying something like that to their face. When I tried to bring up my grandmother comments to my guardian, which is my uncle, he said to me “You just can’t handle the truth”. It broke me when he said such a thing after living with my grandmother. I’m always super stressed out because of these factors and I can not live in these circumstances any longer. I plan to move in a few months with a family that have been good friends to me and my mother before she pasted. They continued to support and be there for me when and where my grandmother wouldn’t. Anytime I have sought emotional support from my grandmother or she caught me crying about my mother my grandmother had told me to “Suck it up”, I was raised with affection and support my whole life and for her to say something like that to me while grieving is very hurtful and rude. I know i could try for emancipation but that might take too long legally and would be a large waste of time and money. I really need to know if there is anything I could do to move out and get out of this situation. Thank you.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’ve been going through such a tough time, but we are here to support you and help you in any way we can. That sounds so stressful and hurtful to have your parents not be taking this situation well.

    We’re not legal experts here at NRS. Generally it’s not illegal to leave home, but your parents could file a runaway report, the police could get involved, and they could bring you home. The people you’re staying with could potentially get in trouble for having you stay there. Some police departments don’t accept runaway reports for 17 year olds, but the policies may vary by each department. You could consider calling your local nonemergency police department to ask about their policies. We also have legal aid resources here if you have specific questions about the laws in your state.

    There are also various LGBTQ hotlines that you could consider reaching out to for support: LGBT National Hotline: 1-888-843-4564; glbthotline.org; LGBT National Youth Talkline: 1-800-246-7743; The Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386; thetrevorproject.org; Trans Lifeline: 1-877-565-8860; translifeline.org.

    If you haven’t already, you could consider reaching out to a trusted adult, relative, worker/teacher/counselor at your school for help and support. You could also consider talking to your parents about how you’ve been feeling or having another trusted adult help you talk with them. Just so you’re aware, we have a conference calling service here where we could help mediate a conversation between you and your parents.

    It sounds like all of your struggles are making you consider leaving home. If you do decide to leave home, you could consider thinking about ways to make sure you stay safe. You could explore ways you would pay for food, shelter, clothing and other necessary things. You could think about how long you would stay away, where you would stay, and what things would be like when you return. You could consider what you would do if you felt that you were in danger or had an emergency. And just a reminder that if you ever feel that you are in danger, you could call 911 for immediate help.

    There are also many resources that could help you find a safe place or help you with anything else you may need. If you want to talk more about what’s been going on, or if you would like more information about resources, you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us online.

    Again, thank you for contacting us. It sounds like you’ve been going through a really hard time, but you’ve shown a lot of strength by working through these challenges and reaching out for help. If you ever need anything in the future, please feel free to call us or chat with us online. We’re always here to listen and here to help.
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