My Runaway Rights in North Carolina

[Guest]

I am sixteen years old. My mom moved my little sister and me from Pennsylvania to North Carolina when I was twelve. My mom is an alcoholic. My stepdad is stable and a good guy, but I've been told by a psychologist that my mother's drinking is the root of a lot of my problems. I want to move back to Pennsylvania and live with my grandparents. So far my mom is not giving consent for me to do this. I need some advice and help in knowing what my rights are.

[ccsmod6]

Hello, thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to learn of your situation at home and are here to listen. We will try to help in any way we can.
Seems like your home situation can get to be somewhat scary at times. If you fear for your immediate safety you can call out to your local police. You mentioned your mom hitting you, yelling and throwing things. This sounds like an abusive situation, if you would like to report what has been happening you can contact your local CPS, or Child Help a National child abuse hotline at 1-800-422-4453 or at www.childhelp.org. You also talked about your father being a stable guy, if this is true maybe talking with them about the situation may help brainstorm some other ideas about what to do and how you are feeling. He might be able to talk with your mom about it in a way that reaches her differently. Having a parent who is an alcoholic is ta tough situation to be in. If there ever is a point where your mom would like help for her addiction you can have her contact the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) at 1-877-726-4727 or at www.samhsa.gov. Lastly, your main concern seems to be you wanting to stay with your grandparents and your mother not consenting. You said you were 16 and in most states at that age you are still a minor. Something to note is that we are not legal experts but we can provide some information on running away to the best of our knowledge. If you chose to leave without her consent she could file a runaway report which would be something known as a status offense. A status offense is not a crime and usually does not warrant any jail time unless you commit a crime in the act of running away. What typically happens is that the police who take the report may take you back home or to a safe location, where a parent or guardian could come pick you up, if you are found. Also if the police find you at your grandparent’s house and they find out that she knew you ran away she could face a harboring a runaway charge. This usually is a fine that is paid and is a misdemeanor. However, if you were to explain about the safety concerns at home the police may make an exception due to unsafe circumstances.
Again, thank you for contacting the NRS. We encourage you to call in to our crisis hotline at 1800-RUNAWAY for more resources. Take care.
-NRS

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[Guest]

Hi, I am 16 living in NC I did something stupid about 2 weeks ago. My parents went overboard with the punishment and smashed my phone I paid for took my door called my job and quit and wouldn’t let me finish drivers ed. Can they tell me where I can and can’t work. I had a ride and it never would mess up what they had going on. Am I allowed to leave without the cops involved? Can they make me come back if I leave? And if I do leave are they still responsible for supporting me?

[ccsmod7]

Hello there, thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like you are in a tight spot after you got in trouble and now you have a strict punishment with your phone, room door, work, and drivers Ed being taken away. That seems really hard to deal with.

Here at NRS, we are not legal experts but we can speak generally. Parents can generally set rules with where you can and can't work when you are a minor and they are your legal guardians. In NC, the age where you can leave home without permission and when you become a legal adult is 18. If you leave home before you turn 18, your parents can file you as a runaway with your local police and if you are found you typically would be returned home. Reporting you as a runaway to police would take the legal responsibility of supporting you away from your parents until you come back home.

During this difficult time, it is important to think about your own self care and how you are going to get through these punishments. If there is anything you can do on your own that relaxes you or brings you joy you might try to do those things. Whatever you did 2 weeks ago does not define you, and you deserve the opportunity to learn and grown from your mistakes. Here at NRS, we have a conference call service if you would like to have a mediated discussion with your parents about lessening your punishment. Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you would like to talk through your situation and help with brainstorming your options. We are here to listen, here to help.

Best,

NRS

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[Guest]

How old do I have to be to legally leave home without getting the law involved. My mom said she would call the cops on me if I run away (I'm 16 years old)

[ccsmod1]

Hi there,

We are not legal experts, but we can tell you that because you are a minor, if you leave home and your parents file a runaway report, you could be returned home. There could also be legal consequences for whomever you stay with for what is called harboring a runaway. Typically you can leave home once you are a legal adult at 18. If you want a liner to help you walk through other options like us mediating a conference call between you and your parents, thinking through possible adults that you could turn to or could advocate for you, or things like emancipation and legal aid numbers, don't hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

Best,

NRS

[Guest]

I was wondering if i could walk out my parents house without permission to hang with a friend. All we are going to do is go out to eat and come back. My mom thinks it’s a guy & i feel like she thinks i’m a prositute or something but i tried to tell her multiple time i’m not . I was wondering if i could get arrested if i walk out my parents house without permission on the day of my birthday. i’ll be turning 17. My mom said if i do walk out, she bring the police & i feel like it’s just a waste of her time.

[ccsmod16]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline! We are here to help. It sounds like you’re in a tough position. Though we aren’t legal experts, we can tell you that leaving your house without parental permission is just a status offense. This means that you won’t get in any legal trouble and you won’t be arrested.

If your mom files a runaway report, the police could pick you up and bring you back home. Once you turn 18 years old, you are able to leave home on your own and move out of your parents’ home. It’s helpful to think about the possible consequences of leaving home and coming back might be, like how are your parents going to react to you and what punishment they seem fit to give you. Your actions are directly related to their actions. By thinking about this, you are able to weight your options and see what is realistic and what isn't for you to do.

If you have any other question or would just like to talk, feel free to give us a call at 1-800-Runaway or message us on our website.

Best,
The National Runaway Safeline

[Guest]

Im 18 and I stay with a family friend. I have been staying the night with some friends and they have been threatening to call the cops on me. Is it legal in NC to leave home without telling them?

[ccsmod11]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out. If you're 18, you're an adult in North Carolina, so you can't be reported as a runaway. If your parents want to call the police on you and report you missing, you can just show up to the police station to let them know you're not missing - and being missing is not a crime.

Best,
NRS

[Guest]

i'm 17 years old, i am from North Carolina, i am going through alot, i was adopted back in may of 2007, my adopted parents are older, my dad is 81, my mom is 78, they would not let me live with my older brother who is 25 years old living on his own, married, has 4 beautiful kids and is doing great, he has tried to get our parents to sign me over to him, but they sent me to a group home, and said it would be better for me, i am struggling in school and struggling with depression because no one comes and visits, my parents are too old to drive, they still have custody and will not sign me over, i have compleated the group home program and they said it time for me to come home, or live with my brother, my brother is willing to help me, and I have a plan to run away, is there anything anyone can do to bring me back if, im safe, have what i need, go to school, get a job, and am not getting in trouble? i really would like some feed back if anyone has any, Thank you and God Bless!!!!!!!

[ccsmod7]

Hello there, thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like you are in a really tricky situation since you are leaving the group home and wanting to live with your stable brother rather than returning to your elderly adopted parents. That sounds pretty unfair that they had you go to a group home rather than them giving your brother custody of you. You so deserve to live in a safe and stable environment.

If you haven't already, you might reach out to caseworkers at the group home to see if they know more about your rights locally in North Carolina at 17, especially aging out of their program. The age of majority in North Carolina is 18, however, sometimes local police consider 17 year olds adults and will not take runaway reports for them or will not return them home. To know how the local police would respond, you can call your local police non-emergency number and ask hypothetical questions. If police do not take a runaway report for you, there is no way to know you are a runaway. We can call out with you if you call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

You also have the right to report your parents for neglect if they cannot provide you with your basic needs due to their old age. To learn more about your reporting rights you might try to reach out to a caseworker or to the child advocates at Child Help 1-800-422-4453.

You mentioned that you are struggling with your depression and no one ever visits you. That seems incredibly hard to go through alone, and you must be very strong for going through all of this. Here at NRS, we want you to know that you are not alone. There are people like your brother and agencies like us that truly want to help you. If you ever need local counseling referrals or just need to talk to someone we are always here for you.

Please know that you can always call or chat us if you need. We look forward to hearing from you.

Best,

NRS

[Guest]

My Runaway Rights in North Carolina
Hello I am 15 my boyfriend is 16 we live in North Carolina his family is abusive and he wants to leave but has no where to go I offered my house but I am afraid that me or my family could get charged for him running away and living with us he wants to move out and live me but I don't want nothing back to happen and I don't want him to be forced to go back home

[ccsmod3]

Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you and your boyfriend been going through such a tough time, but we are here to support you and help you in any way we can. It sounds like you have been really supportive of your boyfriend and want to help him out in any way you can. No one deserves to be abused, and your boyfriend should not have to go through that. If your boyfriend ever feels that he’s in danger, you can tell him that he can always call 911 for immediate help.
If you and your boyfriend haven’t already, you could consider reporting the abuse he’s been experiencing. If you want more information about abuse reporting or if you want to file a report, you could call Child Help at 1-800-422-4453 or you could call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us online.
We’re not legal experts here at NRS. Generally it’s not illegal to leave home, but your boyfriend’s parents could file a runaway report, the police could get involved, and they could bring him home. Your parents could potentially get in trouble if his parents charged them with harboring a runaway and letting him stay with you. You could consider calling your local nonemergency police department to ask about their policies. We also have legal aid resources here if you have specific questions about the laws in your state.
If you haven’t already, you could consider reaching out to a trusted adult, relative, worker/teacher/counselor at your school for help and support. If you haven’t, you could also consider talking to your parents about how you’ve been feeling.
It sounds like all of your boyfriend’s struggles are making him consider leaving home. If he does decide to leave home, you could encourage him to consider thinking about ways to make sure he stays safe. You could explore ways he would pay for food, shelter, clothing and other necessary things. He could think about how long he would stay away, where he would stay, and what things would be like when he returns. He could consider what he would do if he felt that he was in danger or had an emergency.
There are also many resources that could help you or your boyfriend with anything else you may need. If you want to talk more about what’s been going on, or if you would like more information about resources, you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us online.
Again, thank you for contacting us. It sounds like you and your boyfriend have been going through a really hard time, but you’ve shown a lot of strength by working through these challenges and reaching out for help. If you ever need anything in the future, please feel free to call us or chat with us online. We’re always here to listen and here to help.

[Guest]

Hey, what would happen if ur 17 and ur mom dad and brothers take everything away and even ur food u have to get help by everyone even ur friends have to get food for u and ur mom dad takes everything u have got u can’t call no one for help ur mom dad don’t care about u they treat ur brothers better but u they don’t and u want to runaway to ur friends house that would taken care of u and treat u better and ur not stressed out all the time or depressed all the time but u tell the police and the child service that ur done with ur mom dad and ur moving to a better home that I will get treated much better and finally have a life now

[ccsmod5]

Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’ve been going through a really tough time, and we’re here to help you and support you in any way we can. We want you to know that no one deserves to feel not welcome at home. It sounds like home is not a place where you can feel safe and comfortable at.
While we are not legal experts here it does sound like what you are going through may be a form of abuse like neglect. A good resource for more information on potentially reporting is Child Help (1-800-422-4453). As long as you don’t talk about specifics (names, location, etc…) they may be able to help define if this is indeed abuse. You can, of course, call us here at NRS as well at 1-800-RUNAWAY if you want to talk through it more.
As far as potentially running away, it is generally not illegal to run away from home. That said, if your parents file a runaway report and the police could get involved and bring you home and the people you’re staying with could possibly get in legal trouble. Some police departments do not take runaway reports for 17 year olds. Each city and state can have different laws on running away. If you haven’t already, you could consider calling your local nonemergency police number to ask about their policies on running away. We also have a data base of legal resources that you could call to ask specific questions about laws.
Again, thanks for contacting us. It is brave of you to reach out for help. If you ever need anything in the future we are here 24/7 so feel free to give us a call or reach out to us by chat online. We are here to listen and help.

[Guest]

Hi, my name is William and I’m 15 turning 16 on dec,10 I have been having thoughts about running away for a long time, but I do not know what will happen I live in North Carolina in knight dale.I do my best in all my school classes I have all As I’m even in honors I do what I’m told at home but my family acts like they hate everyone my older sister gets yelled at daily for forgetting to do little things my brother lied to get me in trouble, I can’t even leave the house my dad won’t let me leave the home and tells my mom to not let me either I don’t ask for much but when I do they act like I ask for everything in the world everything I do feels like it means nothing here my little brother will get a b and my mom will be so happy for him and if I keep all As it’s like a C to her.Nothing is ever good enough for my family I feel like an outsider.So I want to move out or run away I wanted to get emancipated but I didn’t know if the court would really take me seriously and let me I could stay with my friend and his family right down the road they already said it was fine I’d have my own room I’d still go to the same school and my grades would not be effected in anyway except positive. I’m 15 and have to share a room with a 12 who is messy loud and clumsy he breaks all my stuff he won’t let me study or even sleep when I need to and my mom says it’s my fault and that I’m a spoiled brats and she threatens to send me to my adoptive father who lives all the way up in Ohio anytime I tell her my feelings.but my adoptive father and his wife have 3 jobs each and are never home and live in a very poor neighborhood with a very poor school district where I could not get what I needed to move up in life. I have know idea if I’m a brat and I’m over reacting but this is why I’m here please be real with me and tell me if this is something I should think about

[ccsmod10]

Hi thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS! It seems like you’re in a tough situation and we are sorry to hear that. We can talk about a few things and youre always welcome to reach out to us as we are here 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

It sounds like home isn’t the best place for you right now. You seem like a very intelligent person as you do really well in your classes and it unfair for your family to treat you how they have been. From what you shared, you have been doing your best in school and doing really well and that’s a big accomplishment. Something you can think about is trying to have a family meeting to explain to your mom how what she says is affecting you. You can also think about talking about the living situation with your 12 year old sibling and try to have family agreements on study times, bed times, rules about touching each other’s stuff, etc. You do not have to do this alone as you mentioned having a friend with their family too and you can think about asking them or someone else you trust to help you talk to your mom. We are also here to help you brainstorm what that situation may look like as well!

We aren’t legal experts but generally, the age of adulthood is 18 years old which means if you are under that age, your parents/guardians are legally responsible for you and where you live. This means if you do decide to leave home, your parent/guardian can reach out to the non-emergency police to file a runaway report. This means they would call the non-emergency police and file that report, which is a status offense meaning you wouldn’t get arrested but it is just something you are not allowed to do since you are under the general age of majority. If you are found, you will be returned to home and not be in any legal trouble such as being arrested as leaving home is a status offense like breaking curfew. If you do to your friend’s house, your mom may also try to press charges of harboring a runaway, just so you know the risk if you think she might do that. If you do not feel safe, you can tell the police department and they would involve Child Protective Services to investigate. We are always here to talk more about this and if you do decide you need to leave home, we can talk about safety planning.

We are always here and truly care about you. We know this is a frustrating situation and we can talk through what we mentioned or think of other ideas if those don’t seem to fit with your situation. We hope you reach out again if you are comfortable.

Best, NRS

[Guest]

I am 17 and I live in NC, my parents and I don't get along all. I have graduated high school and have a full time job. I have a friend who is willing to let me live with her, but she has a kid an I want to make sure that she can't get in trouble if I go live with her. My parents don't want me to move out but I feel like it is safer if I leave. I don't want to be emancipated because I feel like thats a lot to go through for one year. I just want to make sure my parents can't make me come home, or get my friend in trouble. Please let me know. Any information would be helpful.

[ccsmod10]

Hi thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS! It seems like you’re in a tough situation and we are sorry to hear that. We can talk about a few things and youre always welcome to reach out to us as we are here 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

It sounds like home isn’t the best place for you right now. You seem like a very intelligent person as you do really well in your classes and it unfair for your family to treat you how they have been. From what you shared, you have been doing your best in school and doing really well and that’s a big accomplishment. Something you can think about is trying to have a family meeting to explain to your mom how what she says is affecting you. You can also think about talking about the living situation with your 12 year old sibling and try to have family agreements on study times, bed times, rules about touching each other’s stuff, etc. You do not have to do this alone as you mentioned having a friend with their family too and you can think about asking them or someone else you trust to help you talk to your mom. We are also here to help you brainstorm what that situation may look like as well!

We aren’t legal experts but generally, the age of adulthood is 18 years old which means if you are under that age, your parents/guardians are legally responsible for you and where you live. This means if you do decide to leave home, your parent/guardian can reach out to the non-emergency police to file a runaway report. This means they would call the non-emergency police and file that report, which is a status offense meaning you wouldn’t get arrested but it is just something you are not allowed to do since you are under the general age of majority. If you are found, you will be returned to home and not be in any legal trouble such as being arrested as leaving home is a status offense like breaking curfew. If you do to your friend’s house, your mom may also try to press charges of harboring a runaway, just so you know the risk if you think she might do that. If you do not feel safe, you can tell the police department and they would involve Child Protective Services to investigate. We are always here to talk more about this and if you do decide you need to leave home, we can talk about safety planning.

We are always here and truly care about you. We know this is a frustrating situation and we can talk through what we mentioned or think of other ideas if those don’t seem to fit with your situation. We hope you reach out again if you are comfortable.

Best, NRS

[Guest]

Hi I'm gonna call myself L for the time being. SO I live in North Carolina and I'm sixteen years old. I feel really unsafe in my home and I've been wanting to runaway for a while. My dad yells at me for very small things and recently my mom and him got a divorce. He is still living in the same house as us too. He won't give us money for food, and we've had to lie saying we needed lunch money or we had school fees to pay. My mom has recently taken my phone for talking to a boy and said she will tell my dad. If she tells my dad I know he will kill me because he is very conservative and says that I'm not allowed to date or talk to boys. My mom also thinks I've had sex with my dad because I wrote down one of my sex dreams once. First off that's gross, why would i have sex with my dad which by the way is like 56? My boyfriend... the guy I've been talking to said I could go stay with him but I don't want him and his family to get fined or for me to feel like a burden to them. What should I do, I don't feel safe in my home and I've been depressed for a few years and I've gotten no help, I cant go to my parents cause my parents told me that depressed people are crazy and ********ed up. I hate both of my parents, my siblings just laugh every time they see me cry, I haven't had the word I love you said to me in countless years. I feel hated in my house that I cant call a home.

[ccsmod5]

Hi, thank you for your post. It looks like you've reached out to us using one of our other platforms (phone, email, chat). If you ever need to talk again, please feel free to reach out!

--NRS

[Guest]

I am 16 years old and live in north carolina, my mom is verbally and physically abusive and I've tried calling CPS but they have said that they can't do anything unless my mom leaves a bruise on me or she is doing drugs. She recently hit me with the metal part of a belt on my back and my arms, and my back has been hurting all week from when she hit me, but there is no bruise so the law can't do anything. Most days I don't even eat when I get home. I don't feel safe and this environment is also affecting my grades. I want to run away and stay with a friend instead but I don't want to get them into legal trouble for letting me stay with them. I don't know what to do but I know I can't stay here much longer. what do I do?

[ccsmod5]

Hi, thank you so much for reaching out. It sounds like you're in a really tough situation. The law is super unfair sometimes, but that doesn't mean you're alone in this. You deserve a to live in a place you feel safe, but there could be consequences if you were to leave. We aren't legal experts, but generally if you leave without your mother's permission she would have the right to file a runaway report with the police. You aren't doing anything illegal, but it is a status offense. If you are found, you will be returned to her care. As for who you stay with, there is a possibility they could face charges for harboring a runaway. We don't really hear about this happening all too often, but it is a possibility. If you are looking to get more definitive answers we would be happy to refer legal aid resources over the phone or on chat. We're available to talk through all your options 24/7 at 1800RUNAWAY so you can reach out anytime.

[Guest]

Hi. I am parent of a 16yr that has been troubled for a little while. Last year she started leaving the house and not coming in before curfew. Then it laid to her not showing up one night at all. She contacted me the next morning and came home. Eventually she went missing for a day or so and ended up in another city where something's happened. Well she was taken to the hospital and she kept telling police and emts that she was going to hurt herself. So she was committed for a little bit and then I had her placed in a therapeutic foster home. She had some issues there and eventually she left there at the end of the last school year. Fast forward to now. She has been living with my mother and stepfather. There has been issues with cleaning up, going to school and staying out longer than she should. So there was an argument with her grandfather and she has been gone since Saturday. She missed school today but I have talked to her everyday. I am at my wits and. What am I to do. I am in NC by the way

[ccsmod3]

Thanks for reaching out. It sounds like you have been working for some time to get the right supports to your daughter. This must be stressful on you and your whole family. It seems like you really care about her and want her to be safe and on the right track.
There is a resource that is geared to parents in your type of situation. Team H.O.P.E. could be a good support system for you. They have parents that have gone through similar situations as yours and can give you more ideas or just listen to everything that is going on with your daughter. You can call or check out their website, 1-866-305-4673, missingkids.org/TeamHope.
One place to start next time your daughter does runaway is filing a runaway report with your local police station or calling NCMEC at 1-800-843-5678. This way the police are also be looking to find her. It’s great that you have contact with her daily, which can be comforting. Next time you talk with her you can also give her our number to see if we can offer her any resources that she might need to keep her safe.
You mentioned your daughter staying in a facility and therapeutic foster home, If you haven’t already, there are family counseling services you can try. Some therapists charge on a sliding scale. If you call in or chat with us we can help you find one in your area (1-800-RUNAWAY or www.1800RUNAWAY). You also mention that she was hospitalized for saying that she wanted to hurt herself, a good resource she can access if she still struggles with those thoughts is twloha.org (to write love on her arm). If you have already tried all of these options, there is a more formal option you can arrange with the court system. You can contact your County Juvenile Justice Office (https://www.ncdps.gov/juvenile-justice) to start the process. You will have an appointment with the office to see what is going on and what services they can offer for your daughter. If the problems continue it can escalate to the court system. The consequences are based on each case.
Again, thank you for reaching out. It can be hard to reach out for help, but this is a great step in checking all of your options. If you want to speak further about any of these options mentioned feel free to call or chat with us. We are available 24/7. Good Luck

[Guest]

Hello I am 16 in the state of North Carolina. I am in Charlotte Mecklenburg County DSS, and in a CHA group home. My goal is to leave my group home without my DSS social workers permission. Is this possible? Legally am I able to leave without consent from DSS period, I am assuming so, since I am 16? That is the legal "move out" age, but I'm confused if the rule still applies to me considering DSS "owns" me???

[ccsmod2]

Thank you so much for taking the time to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. We are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can and we truly care about you. It can be very frustrating not knowing information about leaving your group home being the age you are and we are certainly here to talk and brainstorm somethings with you.

First, we are not legal experts but generally the age of legal adulthood where you can choose where you want to live without guardian permission is at 18 years old. Since your social worker from DSS may be considered your legal guardian, if you do leave the group home at 16, your social worker may file a runaway report with the police and the police might try to bring you back to the group home. Since you mentioned in your area the age to move out may be 16, you may want to think about contacting your local police department. They may have more specific details on if your social worker can file a runaway report and if you legally can leave without their permission. You can call the local non-emergency number and ask these questions but you do not have to give any information, like your name or address, if you do not want to. You always have the right to end the call if the person you are talking to makes you feel like you have to. They may be able to answer the question of what the age of adulthood is to move out of the legal guardian’s home and if it is different since you have a social worker, but sometimes it depends on the police officer you get a hold of. We can always brainstorm other ideas as well and try to help you as best we can. We can also reach out on your behalf if you are able to give us a call here at 1-800-RUNAWAY and we can call out to your local non-emergency police and ask these questions while advocating for you.

If you do feel comfortable talking more about what is going on, or you want to talk further on the legality of leaving the group home feel free to contact us again. We are here 24/7 and we have an online chat system at 1800runaway.org as well as our phone number 1-800-RUNAWAY. It takes a lot of strength to reach out and we are glad you did. We hope to hear from you soon!

Best, NRS