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My Runaway Rights in North Carolina

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  • #46
    hey. I'm 17 years old , I have a almost 2 year old daughter. I moved in with my father in north Carolina about 6-7 months ago , I've never lived with him ever before in my live. right now he is just a foster parent because the state of Georgia sent me up here , is there any possible way , I could move out without his consent ? I know in Georgia at 17 if they report a runaway they can't do anything about it because at 17 they consider you as an adult .

    Comment


    • ccsmod3
      ccsmod3 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,
      Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’ve been going through a tough time, but we are here to support you and help you in any way we can. That sounds stressful to be living in a place you’ve never lived before.
      We’re not legal experts here at NRS, but generally, the three ways to legally leave home are with parents’ consent, emancipation (a legal process where a youth is considered an adult), and if there is abuse in the home. In some states, youth are automatically emancipated if they have a child. To learn more about this or ask other questions about the laws in your state, we have legal aid resources you could contact.
      Again, we’re not legal experts, but according to sexetc.org, the legal age to be an adult in both Georgia and North Carolina is 18. Generally it’s not illegal to leave home, but your dad could file a runaway report, the police could get involved, and they could bring you home. The people you’re staying with could potentially get in trouble for having you stay there. Some police departments don’t accept runaway reports for 17 year olds, but the policies may vary by each department. You could consider calling your local nonemergency police department to ask about their policies.
      If you haven’t already, you could consider reaching out to a trusted adult, relative, worker/teacher/counselor at your school for help and support. You could also consider talking to your dad about how you’ve been feeling or having someone else help you talk with him. Just so you know, we have a service called conference calling where we could help mediate a conversation between you and your dad. You mentioned that you were sent to your dad by the ‘state of Georgia’. If you had a case worker during this time, you could also consider reaching out to them for help.
      There are also many resources that could help you find a safe place if you’re in need, talk through your concerns, or help you with anything else you may need. If you want to talk more about what’s been going on, or if you would like more information about resources, you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us online.
      Again, thank you or contacting us. It sounds like you’ve been going through a hard time, but you’ve shown a lot of strength by working through these challenges and reaching out for help. If you ever need anything in the future, please feel free to call us or chat with us online. We’re always here to listen and here to help.
      -NRS

  • #47
    Hi, im turning 16 soon, my father is im prison and me and my mother dont get along at all, shes abusive and tends to call the police if i leave to avoid her, i have a few adults whom im close to and theyve offered me a home once im 16, if i move with them, can my mother call the police ans have me brought back home and will those adults be introuble, i spent losts of my childhood in court for custody issues with my parents and ive heard that has a toll on this issue as well.

    Comment


    • ccsmod5
      ccsmod5 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey,
      Thanks for reaching to us, which sometimes can be really hard, but we're glad you came to us. It sounds like you're in pretty tough situation, and we definitely want to offer you some options to get you in a better place.
      You mentioned abuse, and if your mother is abusing you, that's never ok. It's just never ok to hit a child. You have some options in reporting this. We can definitely help you with this if you call us at 1-800-786-2929. We know it can be really hard to take this step but we can do it with you. Another option is for you to call your local police or also Child Help at 1-800-422-4453.
      In terms of moving out at 16, there is the option of emancipation, just keep in mind we aren't legal experts here. If you want some legal resources, please do call our crisis line mentioned earlier. In North Carolina there is the option that you can petition the court for emancipation at 16. There are a number of things the court will look at including the parental need for any of your earnings, the youth's ability to function as an adult, employment status, the extent of the problems at home, and the quality of the parental support you get. Keep in mind these are just a couple things, but would recommend legal support if you choose to go this route.
      Without emancipation, the age of majority in North Carolina is 18, so techincally your mother could have you returned home if you leave. Potentially you may be able to get around this if you have the adults you're staying with call the police and report that you are there. Without knowing much about your background though, we can't really say for sure though how your local police will react, and in some cases police do not actively look for the youth once they are above a certain age.
      We hope this has been helpful, and remember we're here 24/7 if you want to call us. We're here to listen, here to help. Best of luck!

      We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

  • #48
    Hi, I am 17 and my girlfriend is 16 and one time we were hanging out and she told me that she doesn’t want to go home because her dad was home and she is scared of what he might think she was doing while she had been gone. She always tells me how he abuses her and how she wants to move out but he won’t let her and she is at the verge of running away. Any suggestions on how I could help her?

    Comment


    • ccsmod10
      ccsmod10 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thanks for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We want you to know that any form of abuse is never acceptable and it is terrible that she has to experience that. If you ever feel as though your girlfriend is in immediate danger, please call 9-1-1 on her behalf, immediately. Another resource that you may find beneficial is called Child Help. Their phone number is 1-800-422-4453. Additionaly, if you or her ever find yourself in a compromising position or are on the run, do not hesitate to call us at our 24/7 toll free number (1-800-786-2929) or use our live chat services.

      We noticed that you mentioned she wanted to run away as well. Often times, this is a very difficult conversation to have with someone that you care about. If she (or you) has a trusted friend or relative, sometimes it is useful to have someone by your side to have the conversation all together. If you’re interested, we here at NRS offer a conference calling service, between the youth and her parents. What happens with this is she would call our number at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929), let us know about her situation and that she is interested in a conference call with her father, and we would call out to him. After talking to her about what is going on, we would connect the call and act as a line of support to her. We strive to make these calls as positive and compromise-driven as possible, such that your girlfriend’s situation improves in such a way that is more manageable for you and her.

      Hearing something like that happen can be very hard for a person to make sense of and have to think about. A school guidance counselor may also be a good resource for you. You would want to keep in mind, however, that teachers and other school-professionals are mandated reporters of abuse, which means that when they here or abuse or assault, they are required to report this to the child protective services. This might be a report you would be interested in making. If you would like more information on reporting and/or want support in doing that, we are happy to talk to her (or you) about that process and possibly move forward with filing a report on her behalf by contacting us as 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

      You are an amazing boyfriend for supporting her through her difficult struggles at home. If you want to talk more about your thoughts on the issue or talk through ways that you can support her, we are happy to talk to you at any time here at NRS at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are a 24/7, toll-free, completely confidential hotline. Here to listen, here to help.

      Best of luck,
      NRS

  • #49
    Hello I am a 17 year old female. I live in Charlotte, NC in Mecklenburg county. I live with my biological mother and her alcoholic boyfriend. I have problems with suicidal thoughts and depression, but my mother or father do not get me help I have asked repeatedly And also have problems with self harm. My mother is very controlling and I am in a very unstable home and am in need of a stability household. I had a stable home open to me by my boyfriends family he is 18. But my mother did not like the fact I rather live with him and threatens to call the cops on me and him and threatens to tar us apart if he does not get a job which he is working on. Recently I called the cops because I was felling Suicidal and was having a panic attack and they told me about emancipation, but mother found out and cut all my ties with him and is trying to stalk me when i go to friends house has a tracker on my pone show up to where i am to make sure im actually there , she stalks my messages, I have a job, I am offering to pay my own phone bill and have transportation to work and school and a stable home. My mom does do drugs and her boyfriend is an alcoholic who kicks us out when he gets angry and has been very disrespectful to my friends and me and has been in and out of rehab and jail and has a record. I was wondering if i could leave home and stay with my boyfriend and his mother and two younger brothers for a stable environment for my mental health reasons. Without the cops tacking back home because I can not put up with the unstable house hold, I dont wanna go back to panic attacks, mental breakdowns and selfharm again. And can not take the mental abuse anymore, I feel i can not live through it for a whole year until im 18 In December ( 9 months)

    Comment


    • ccsmod10
      ccsmod10 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi,

      Thanks so much for reaching out to us. This is a really difficult situation, and it is totally understandable you would not want to go back to your home, as it sounds like it is not a safe place for you. We can definitely look into legal aid in your area for emancipation if that is something you are interested in.

      It sounds like you have a safe place to stay with your boyfriend, but this sounds like a really stressful situation overall. If you feel suicidal again and don’t want to reach out to the police again, one option is the national suicide lifeline. Their number is 1-800-273-8255, and they are a really great resource to talk through feeling suicidal. Another option for self-harm is a website twloha.com, which stands for “to write love on her arms.” Suicidal thoughts and self-harm are really scary, and it sounds like you are doing a very good job getting yourself into a place you feel safe and is good for your mental health.

      Emancipation wise, one option in your area is called CHILD ADVOCACY COMMISSION. Their number is 919-682-1129, and they are open from 8:30am-5:00pm Monday to Friday. They are a legal service that could help you get emancipation, as well as give you more legal info.

      This is a really frustrating situation, and reaching out is a really good start! We are here 24/7 to call or chat if you want to talk more about this situation or want more resources. You deserve to live in an environment where you feel safe, and you do not deserve to live in unsafe place for 9 more months.

      Feel free to call us anytime,
      NRS

  • #50
    Hi. I'm 16, soon to be 17 in April and I live in NC. I feel like running away. I'm gay and my parents have expressed how much they hate gay people since they are very religious. I get yelled at for every single thing I do and at this point I've had enough. The problem is, I don't know if I am legally allowed to run away and I don't know if I have a place to go to. I know that as soon as I come out they will most likely disown me. I have 2 very close friends and only one family member that I trust deeply. I'm not in the best mental state and I have thought about suicide several times. I remember I had almost ran away from home when I was around 10-11 years old. What do I do?

    Comment


    • ccsmod3
      ccsmod3 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thanks for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline and sharing a little bit about what is going. It takes a lot of courage to reach out and especially in a time where you have a really tough and complex situation. We are sorry you are experiencing getting yelled at every day. You don’t deserve that.
      It can be difficult to know how to talk to your parents about being gay and express how you are feeling about how they treat you. We would encourage you to reach out to a trusted adult, teacher, relative, and friend that you can talk to and potentially help you mediate a conversation with your parents about your current situation. At NRS, we do offer a service call conference calling, where you can call into our hotline and then we would reach out to your guardian and help advocate for you, help you express the needs of to your parents. Some resources to reach out to may be the LGBT National Hotline 1-888-843-4564.

      You mentioned having suicidal thoughts multiple times. Your mental health is important. You can also look at SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) at samhsa.gov or call them directly at 1-877-726-4727 to help you find the support that you need. If you do ever feel in direct danger, to yourself, or some else makes you feel that way, please call out to 911 or reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255)

      We aren’t legal experts, but we have general knowledge about running away. In most states, running away isn’t illegal, but what is called a status offense. You can’t get arrested for it but it will mostly likely go on your record until you are 18. The police will only know if you have runaway if your parents/guardians file a police report. We can’t say for sure how the police will respond, but we hear a lot that police will take potential places you might be and will actively search for you. If they come across you, the most likely will return you home to your parents. Sometimes we hear that if you are staying with someone who knows you are a runaway and are not actively trying to return you or finding shelter for you, your guardians can press charges against the people who are housing you, with something that is called harboring. One of our main goals is to make sure you are safe, so you ever seriously decide to run away and need shelter, resources, or a safe place to go you can find safe locations at nationalsafeplace.org or reach out to us directly and we can find local resources in your area.

      Another thing that you can do is look into emancipation, where you can have the right of an adult. We aren’t legal experts but in general, if you want to become emancipated you would need to show that you can support yourself through a source of income, that you still go to school, and can live on your own.

      We are here for you and will support you in anyway that we can. Please feel free to call into us directly as we can talk further about your situation and find resources that are best for you in your are. Stay strong and you are not alone in this! Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY we are open 24/7.

      We hope this response was helpful! We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey.

      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think
      -NRS

  • #51
    Im 14 gonna be 15 in less the 4 months & Living in Rowan Co. NC Now

    I along with my 2 siblings where Stolen from my birth mother only to be put with my extemely abusive step grandpatents

    Ok a bit of back history I was living with my mom and 2 siblings and step dad.
    Well in 2007 my step dad rejoined the military and in June my mom let my sisters and I go stay with pur grandparents (at this point where not being abusive) for the whole summer. While we stay with our grandparents my step grandmother called DSS every other day through out June all the way into Aug when on Aug 14 she drove us girls to where my mom was and where my step dad was at to spend my sisters 3rd birthday and when we where staying at the hotel since dad was on leave she waited till the afternoon of the 15th to call DSS in Davie Co NC and told them that we where back in NC that my grandmother in NY sent us back to NC (we where never in NY) She lied to Dss all summer to get them to build a case against my mom telling them that I was hiding the kids in NC somewhere and then took off to NY with us girls. She told them lie after lie of abuse that never happen and drug abuse that was never going on. (Since step grandma was friends with the dss worker she believed eveything that was said) Well Aug 15 dad called his mother only person who knew where we where at. and filled her in and let he know that mom was taken us to NY to see our grandparents for about 3 weeks and then going to return back to NC so we could see him leave for Korea in Sept. Well step grandma did not like that one bit and was angry and pissed off and called Dss and lied to them yet again. All because she did not want mom to take my 3year old sister out of state cause she claimed she would never see her again and told Dss she feared for her grandchildrens safety.

    Jump ahead to what they put me through (I am the oldest of the 3 of us) Step grandparents would force me to do exteme exercises and if I did not do them how they wanted or count them out loud i was hit with a fly swatter or a wooden spoon in the face ( she pulled us out of public school and claimed she was home schooling us) I along with my baby sister where beat repeatly even hit with a wiffle ball bat and when we fell to the ground I was kicked.
    When I was 8y.o. my step grandfather was home watching me while my 7 and 6 year old sister where sent to day care for the valentines party and step grandma was at work well step grandfather forced me to strip naked completely and would not allow me to get dressed in any clothes cause he said I was stealing all his stuff, it wasnt until step grandmother called the house and he told her what he was doing and she told.him to make me get dressed. I have been locked up in my room for days on end with out food and only allowed out to use the bathroom and then locked up again. They have the food locked up so we can eat more then we are given witch is not much at all. My little sister will steal and hide food when noone is home and we get left alone for hours on end. The house phone is locked in the grandparents bedroom almost all the time so no one can use it. Step grandma pays my little sisters to lie to anyone who asked them about the abuse in the home (my middle sister calls it her grandma's truth money)
    Rowan Co. Dss eventually got in volved in 2014 and closed out the case pretty much the same day.
    Well with Dss closing out the case like they did the abuse got worse over the years and once they where informed of the abuse again in the beging of Sept 2017 the Supervisor told the person that reported they needed to mind their own business. Well now that im finally back in public school, the end of Sept 2017 the school reported to dss I showed up with 2 black eyes and they already had several reports pryor to the school filing a report with them.
    My step grandpatents have attempted to hold me down and dump alocoh down my throat, I was beat with a belt from my shoulders down to my legs leaving bruises.
    Both of my step grandparents have hit me so hard in the mouth it broke the brackets on my braces and then made me lie to my orthodontist and tell him I was hit in the mouth by a basketball.
    They have both threaten me along with their other son that if they get arrested for the abuse I better be ready with a meat wagon and body bag waiting cause I will need it. Then my step uncle threaten me and told me I wont have to worry about them he will hunt me down and do it himself. They take mine and my siaters SSI checks and spend it on them self and then turn around and pay all my step uncles bills for the house (trailer home) step grandma bought for him to live in with our checks. Im made to wear clothes that are donated to us girls from people She works with cause they feel sorry she for her having to raise us girls and thing highly of her for take us in cause she told people my mom was a drug addict, told other people my mother beat us and forced us to like animals (all of witch is a lie) We where far from abused we where loved and wanted and spoiled rotten. Our punishment was a time out stool mom had. Our house was almost always cleaned unless us kids went through and tracked toys everywhere. She had a gate up to keep us out of the kitchen area so we didnt get burn by the stove ect.. We lived in a 2 story house our 3 bedrooms and moms was upstairs also, where up stairs and there where 2 more bedrooms down stairs and another room that she made into a storage room.!!!! (There is more abuse then what am posting. Like the beating my baby sister took from grandma even when Dss was involved and Grandma temping to try and burn down the house and thought my step dad and 2 sisters where asleep but dad got it before it could catch and spread. Not the first time she burned down a house she lived in just this one was caught before it could burn it down)
    Step grandma finally after telling us kids all kinds of lies over the years about my mom about how she never loved us or wanted us and that mom was in prison for neglect and not loving us and drugs
    Rowan Co. Dss worker (1st worker from End of Sept 2017) went to her supervisor and request a pull order and the supervisor denied her everytime she went to get one. The supervisor claimed there was not enough abise or proof to pull us girls instead after several months we had a sit down at dss with my mom there and mom recorded the whole meeting. I was promised visits with my mom (I was alowed to go see here for 6 days durning christmas break) Dss brought up they wanted my little sister put in public schooling and Grandma was to take online parenting classes. Never made the step grandfather do anything never even talked to him one time at all! My step dad came to the meeting also he told the workers he had just returned to NC and was finally moving back here and he was going to be taken over the home schooling of my 2 little sister and he was also moving over to my step grandparents land in Mocksville NC to live and was offically back to stay. That was a lie also he left 2 days after Easter back to Portland Oregon and once Step grandmother recieved the papers from Dss closing out the 2 open cases on her and my step grandfather.
    She has told me now that my step dad is gone and Im not faking being happy that she was going to allow me to leave the house and I would never see my mom again till I was 18 and in college or living in my own place.

    The Lawyers and cops and Courts and Dss in NC Exspecailly Rowan and Davie are very corrupt. The last time the worker came to school to speak to ke she tols me if their is any abuse to just call the cops because there was nothing Dss can do.

    Since no one is wanting to help me or my sisters I plan to run away once I turn 15 maybe a month before. I can not take being in a house where im put down beat on called retarded and threaten and have everything taken from me and broke or thrown in the trash cause Step grandparents dont think I deserve anything at all.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi,
      Thank you for contacting us at the National Runaway Safeline. It takes a lot of courage to reach out for help and we are glad that you decided to reach out us.

      We are sorry to hear that you going through such a hard and overwhelming time. It is not ok for anyone to physically or emotionally hurt you. It sounds like your home is not a safe place to be in. If your life is danger or if you are in a situation where you might get hurt you can always call 911. Taking pictures of any physical abuse marks and recording audio or video of these incidence can also be helpful to prove in the court. It sounds like you have already tried but Child Help USA can help you provide more information about abuse report and how to file one. They can be contacted at 1-800-422-4453.

      While we are not legal experts, generally speaking if you are to run away from home without your parents’ permission and a police report is filed the police can bring you back home and whoever you are staying with could be charged with harboring a runaway. Running away can be hard in many situations. You might want to think about where you might stay and how you might pay for food and other living expenses.

      All of this can be really stressful and overwhelming and we are here to help you through this hard time. If it might be an option for you, you could call us at our 24 hour confidential hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) and we would be happy to listen to you and explore your options and provide any resources. We wish you the best and hope to hear from you soon.
      We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: We care what you think https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

      Best,
      NRS
      Last edited by ccsmod15; 04-06-2018, 12:32 AM.

  • #52
    Hi,
    I'm a 16-year-old female in North Carolina, my parents and I don't always see eye to eye. My mom is always getting on my case for bad grades and when I try to talk to her about switching to a different school so I can succeed in school she tends to get very upset. The school I currently go to is very accelerated and we take college classes, I feel that this is just not the right fit for me. However I would still like to go to high school and get good grades and graduate. Another thing is that because of this school I get really bad anxiety, I have horrible panic attacks in the middle of the night. I also have depression, I used to go to counseling but I stopped once we moved and because I was no longer having depressive thoughts but recently it has come back. With all of this my mom still doesn't care she tells me that I need to grow up and to "F**k my feelings" I don't have a very close relationship with my dad, we don't really talk and when we do I tend to get very intimidated and uncomfortable. I would like to fix the situation but don't really know how so running away seems like a better option at the moment. If I ran away and went to my friends house in Tampa, Florida what would happen? I have looked up how I would get to her house everything is already planned out the only issue is my parents and the police. I'm turning 17 in July.

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi,
      Thank you for contacting us at the National Runaway Safeline. It takes a lot of courage to reach out for help and we are glad that you decided to reach out us. It sounds like due to the advance school that you are going to you cannot seem to keep up with the work and would like to go to a more basic school. It is great that you are concerned about your education and have thought of alternative ways that you can succeed. We know that you mentioned that the classes are too advance and you are getting bad grades. Since changing schools might be an arduous task for your mother, it might be easier if you ask for her to get you a tutor. Sometimes schools already have study groups and programs. You can talk to your academic advisor about your options.
      It sounds like your depressive and anxious symptoms are starting to come back and your mother is not giving you much support. However, it sounds like going to counseling did help you until you decided to stop due to no longer having negative thoughts. Since it sounds like you were able to get some use out of counseling before, it could be worth looking into again, especially if your family can not provide you with the same support.
      You questioned what would happen if you ran away to live with a friend. We need you to know that we are not legal experts nor are we affiliated with the police so we can only speak generally about what could happen if a youth leaves home without the consent of a guardian. Leaving home without parental consent (running away) is not a crime, so the police will not arrest you. If you do leave home without permission your guardian does have the right to file a runaway report. Running away is not a crime it is a status offence (something that only a minor can get in trouble for: truancy, buying cigarettes, etc.) this means that if you have any interaction with the police they will simply return you home. On the other hand the people that you are found to be staying with could face legal consequences that vary depending on your state. You can find out more about how runaway’s reports are carried out by contacting your local police department. If you would like we could contact your local non-emergency number for you or with you. Just give us a call and one of our trained liners would be happy to assist you. 1-800-786-2929
      We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: We care what you think

  • #53
    Bird Having to Leave the nest Early

    I'm currently 15 years old(in North Carolina), i wish to runaway. I am fully aware of the consciences and able to take care of myself. I want to run away because i no longer feel comfortable in my house, my mother doesn't trust me and always invades any privacy i have, my father and i were never close to begin with. The older i get the more i feel like a burden, i feel hated in the house i live in. I worry that if i stay in this house any longer , i might kill myself. I wouldn't do it to spite my parents, but to free myself from a life i no longer wish to live

    Comment


    • ccsmod10
      ccsmod10 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you so much for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline’s forums. It sounds like you are in an incredibly difficult situation and would like to runaway from home. We just want you to know that your feelings are incredibly difficult to deal with during this frustrating time.

      If you feel the need to end your life we strongly encourage you to reach out to us directly at 1800-Runaway or to the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1800-273-8255. We can help you work through your feelings and help you (or direct you to someone who can) develop healthy coping mechanisms to deal with your feelings. We do not wish for you to end your life!

      As you likely know running away is incredibly dangerous. If you do decide to runaway, your parents could file a runaway report with the police, which means that if you are picked up by the police then you will likely be returned home to your parents, which might make your situation even worse. Additionally, if someone decides to help you runaway or let you stay with them, they can be defiantly be charged with a crime.

      One thing that might help you in your situation is to talk with someone you trust, outside of your immediate family, such as a school counselor, teacher or grandparent. These individuals know you and your needs better, so they might be able to help you. Similarly as writing this forum post, preparing and executing such a conversation is not easy. It might help to rehearse the things you want to talk about beforehand. Another resource people have tried is family/individual counseling.

      It is important to note that professional resources are often times not free and require parental permission.

      We wish you the best as you seek to resolve your situation. We will be here for you along the way. Please feel free to reach out to us by phone at 1800-runaway or through our online chat platform.

      Best wishes,
      NRS

  • #54
    Hi, I am a 17 year old who was abused by my father in several ways for the 6 1/2 years that I lived with him. I need to know how to continue on with my life outside of his house and make something better for myself. It got so bad that my father would not let me go to school or work on school assignments at home, I started failing all of my classes, and he gave fake "emergency" excuses to my high school to excuse my absences as he would pull me out of school for weeks. I am not one of those teenagers who goes through a phase of thinking that nothing is fair and getting fed up with my father's rules. This has been a very serious matter and I have to do what is best for my future. I am well aware that the way my father treated me was a severe case of child abuse, as he would take away my privilege to eat or go to school, for infractions such as talking to my peers about the abuse that I was experiencing in his house. Now, I would like to legally go to a new school, get a job, and continue on with my high school life without the bound of my father's abuse. Emancipation, from my legal research and consultations with professionals, is an extremely difficult path and I do not have the necessary resources to file for it. I am seeking an option for continuing on with my life without having to wait until I am 18 in 6 months. How much authority does my father have over me as a 17 1/2 year old? Would he be able to take me away from starting a new school, job, etc. and taking control of my own life? I understand that I am not a legal adult, but I have credible family members that would provide a safe place for me to live and be a part of their home. I just want my life back, my father has taken enough of it away. My mother is not so credible in the court system, so her rights were taken away and my father has placement custody. How can I move on before I turn 18? Money is not a problem, safety is not a problem. Talking to him like a human and trying to reason is not an option, as I have tried on numerous occasions. Please help with any legal information that I could use to declare my freedom as soon as possible.

    Comment


    • ccsmod16
      ccsmod16 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello, thanks so much for posting today. You certainly have endured a lot of abuse. You do not deserve any of the abuse and neglect you experienced. You are very strong for moving on and looking for resources to help yourself.

      If you have not done so already, you certainly have the right to file an abuse report against your father. That could lead to you being removed and placed with another family member once an investigation is opened. We can conference call and help you make that report. If you would like to pursue that, call us anytime at 1-800-786-2929. Child Help is the national child abuse hotline and they can provide your local abuse reporting hotline and provide information on getting custody transferred too: 1-800-422-4453, childhelp.org.

      Even if you are not considered a legal adult (18 in most states), sometime police departments no longer accept runaway reports for 17 year olds close to 18. You can call your local non-emergency number and ask anonymously if they take runaway reports on 17 year olds. We can also conference call out with you to local police and find out how they handle situations like you being 6 months from adulthood. Even if you did leave without permission and your dad called the police and they did happen to find you, disclosing the abuse to police would open up a child protection case and you may be able to stay with another family member while that occurs.

      In regards to school, the McKinney Vento Act is to ensure all young people get an education, regardless of whether or not they live with their parents or have their consent: The National Center For Homeless Educational Helpline: 1-800-308-2145.

      We are here 24/7 by phone (1-800-RUNAWAY) and through live chat on our website as well. You are very strong for asking for help. That is really hard to do! We are here to listen and to help. Best of luck! Stay safe!









      We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: We care what you think https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think
      Last edited by ccsmod16; 04-20-2018, 01:26 PM.

  • #55
    I am 18 years old in live in the state of North Carolina. My mother and I do not get along at all and she just threatens me and screams at me all the time for no reason and will take my car that isn't even in her name. I want to leave right now while she's gone to a doctors appointment in Virginia. However I am still a senior in high school and I'm on adult probation but I have someone to stay and they have an address, would I get in any trouble by the law or with probation? Could they make me return home? Do I have to go with my mom if she finds me?

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,
      Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you have some questions regarding if you can leave home while on probation. We want you to know that we are not legal experts so we cannot comment on what you are and are not allowed to do. The best bet would be to talk to your probation officer.
      Best wishes,
      NRS

  • #56
    i am 16 years old and i am pregnant i would like to know what i can do or cant do for example, can i move without my mom’s permission because she is bot letting me and i would like to know what are the things i can do and cant do. I live in North Carolina and the baby’s dad lives in Pennsylvania i will turn 17 in november

    Comment


    • ccsmod10
      ccsmod10 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,

      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a bit about your situation.

      It sounds like your parents have put you in a tough situation. It must be really scary to be pregnant and knowing how your mom will react. We offer a conference calling service, between youth and their parents. If you ever wanted our help talking to your mom about moving in with your boyfriend and that you’re pregnant, we're always here to make that call with you.

      Only your legal guardian, can give you permission to move out or to report you as a runaway. If your mom does have legal guardianship of you and doesn’t give you permission to live with your boyfriend or his sister, then she can report you as a runaway. If you feel like getting out of the house is the best option and you decide to run away, we can explain what usually happens. We’re not legal experts, but from our general knowledge, running away is not illegal. If you runaway, your mom can make a runaway report. The police don't always actively look for you, if they come across you, then they usually bring you home. If you explain to them that home isn't a safe place to be, they don't always return you right away. They're supposed to investigate it first. We offer to call out to youth’s local police, with youth, to find out their protocols. You mentioned that you have a boyfriend who’s offering to take you in, we’re so glad to hear that you have someone who is supportive. Regarding him getting into trouble, there is a misdemeanor charge called “harboring a runaway”. It’s really not common and it costs money for parents to take those people to court. We rarely hear about people getting into trouble for letting a runaway stay with them.

      We also have legal aid resources in our database. While we’re not law experts, we can try to find one in your area, there may be legal ways for you to be able to move out of your house. We’re here to try to brainstorm options with you.

      We hope our response is helpful. Also, talking to school counselors and teachers about what’s going on at home could provide you with great support. You are not alone in this. You are always welcome to call into our 24/7 crisis center if you'd like to talk more about your situation.

      Be safe, NRS

  • #57
    Hello, I’m 16 my parents moved me to North Carolina at age 12 from Colorado because of my dads job, had to make new friends, and make a life at our new home. We’ve had a struggle and moved twice while living here. We’ve been here for 4 years. I’m now 16 and have steady friendships. My parents now want to move to Idaho but I don’t. I want to refuse and have already planned out a place to live (with my two friends and her mom) and I have a minimum wage job at sonic. Could I refuse to go with my parents even though they want me to and live with my friends and their parent?

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand that it takes courage to seek help. We are very sorry to hear that your parents plan on moving out of state again. It seems like you parents move quite often, that must be very frustrating and difficult to adjust. It sounds like you would like to stay in North Carolina with your friends instead of moving to Idaho with your family. You could try asking your parents if they would allow you to stay with your friends. Another option that you have is looking into emancipation laws for the state of North Carolina since you already have a job. Since you are a minor, if you decide to stay with your friends without your parent's consent, they could get charged with harboring a runaway. We hope that this information helps, please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat if you have any questions or just want to talk.



      We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey.

      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think
      -NRS

  • #58
    I am 16 years old and live in North Carolina. I used to live with my mom and dad but they were unfit parents at the time. Since then everything was perfectly fine until my grandpa got hurt on the job. It turned the both of them very hostile and they started arguing about everyday. They argue with us kids too. Mostly me. My little brother (13) is like an angel to them and they never even pay attention to my younger sister (15). So all of their hatred and hostility comes back to me. It's like anytime I try to talk to them they try to argue with me. I don't understand what I do/did to them. All I do is go to work, school, church, and home. They never let me out with friends and I'm turning 17 this December and I still have never been on a date or had a boy over. They tell me I can't have certain friends just because of their last names or where they live at. I have cried for days straight, been thrown on the ground and hit and threatened. They always tell me "pack your sh**". I have been talking to my real mother more and she has actually changed and gotten a job. She's cleaner and has her mind straight. I want to go live with her but my grandparents wouldn't let me. At first they told me they didn't care and to just go but when I grabbed my things they told me if I walked out of the door they would lock me up. So I just don't know what I can and can't do. I've been trying to research it but I can't find much. My mother already has visitation rights and she can come and see us but it's apparently illegal for me to leave. Please help because I really need to get out of this house. It's so unhealthy and it goes way beyond normal arguments with your grandparents. I can't stay there anymore.

    Comment


    • ccsmod7
      ccsmod7 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello there, thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like you have endured so much living with your grandparents including physical violence and threats of getting kicked out. That sounds so tough to have do deal with. You deserve to be safe and respected in your own home, and here at NRS we truly want to help.

      We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed and can help talk to you about your options. If you would like assistance calling out to your local abuse hotline, please do not hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

      You might also let your mom and dad know how you are feeling. They might be able to go to court to try and regain some custody. If you call or chat us we can look for local legal aid resources if they are in need of legal representation. Sounds like your mom has gone through a long healing process and is doing better; which is awesome!

      You mentioned that your grandparents threatened to lock you up if you leave. Just so you know if you do leave, they could file a runaway report for you with local police and if you are found you would typically be returned home. Running away is a status offense (meaning something you cannot do because you are a minor) rather than being illegal. If you are found really far from home you could be detained while police work to get you home, but you would not be arrested or locked up.

      Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you would like to talk through your situation or if you would like assistance calling out to CPS or other local agencies. We are here 24/7 by phone and truly want to help.

      Best,

      NRS

      We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think.

  • #59
    I want to leave my house really bad. I just cant put up with living here anymore. i am 12 years of age and i want to run away but i dont want to see my dad or mother anylonger, like if the cops and stuff do get involved,which im pretty sure they will if i run away, i dont want to see them. i have friends parents who would let me stay and move in for as long as i wanted and im thinking about doing that really soon. any thoughts? im just writting down whats a little bit on my mine this second, i know it isnt the best "story" or even the best writting and i dont know what response im supposed to get out of this but here you go.

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello, we’re glad you reached out for support today. It’s resourceful and brave of you to ask for support. It sounds like you don’t want to live with or see your mother and dad. You don’t mention what’s going on at home, but if you’d like to share that you can call us anytime. You can call us 24/7 at 1-800-786-2929. We’re confidential so our conversation doesn’t get shared with anyone else, unless there’s abuse at home and you ask us to file a report on your behalf.
      We’re not legal experts and laws differ state by state and county by county. We can, however, provide legal resources and help you explore what’s going on at home, your feelings about it, and what your options might be.
      Again, it sounds like home feels stressful. Some things you may consider… Talking to a trusted adult about what’s going on at home, like a school counselor or teacher. Calling the National Runaway Safeline for a one-on-one conversation. We also have a conference call service so if you want help sharing your story with your parents, we can set-up a three way telephone conversation. We’ll stay on the line and make sure your voice is heard in a calm way. We can help you and your parent understand each other by guiding the call. This is a way to open lines of communication.
      You mentioned staying at a friend’s parent’s home. Consider if you will feel safe there or if you could consider asking your parents if you can stay at your friend’s for a night or two for a break from home. You could also consider if you be able to go to school while you stay at your friend’s home.
      We’re here 24/7 so don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-786-2929. We’re here to listen and here to support you.

  • #60
    Hey I’m 15 about to turn 16 and I live in North Carolina. My Gardian hates it here and wants to move somewhere else out of the city I stay in. She has already moved and I’m staying with my guardians parent. If I run away will I go to jail? If I go and spend the night at someone else’s house and they’re grown and has there own house am I able to live there without getting in any trouble and still go to the same school ? If my Gardian files a report but the police doesn’t find me and take me home but I run away again will I go to jail?

    Comment


    • ccsmod10
      ccsmod10 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thanks for reaching out for help. This is a great first step to look at your options. It can be hard not having much of a say about where you live.

      You had some legal questions and I want to preface this with the fact that we are not legal experts, but can give some general legal advice. You mentioned you are thinking about running away, which is not illegal, it is considered a status offense, so it will not go on your record, and you cannot go to jail. If you runaway and your guardian files a runaway report, the police will take you back home if they find you. You also mentioned staying at someone’s house, that person can be charged with harboring a runaway, if you don’t have your guardians consent. If your guardian agrees to let you live somewhere other than with them, this would be alternate living situation. You wouldn’t have to worry about any legal repercussions with this option.

      Again, we’re really glad that you reached out to us. It takes a lot to ask for help and you are trying to figure out your options which is really good to see. If you would like to talk further about your situation, please do not hesitate to call or chat with us. We’re here to listen, here to help.
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