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My Runaway Rights in North Carolina

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  • ccsmod7
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there, thanks for reaching out. Sounds like home is toxic and you are feeling like you cannot wait 3 months until you can legally move out at 18. That must be a really stressful situation and here at NRS we truly want to be a support for you during this difficult time.

    If you are under 17 and leave home without permission, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth for 17.

    Please do not hesitate to call or chat if you have questions, need resources, or need to talk. We can explore your situation, go over all your options, and come up with a plan and resources to deal with your situation over the phone or on live chat. We are looking forward to hearing from you soon, and wish you the best of luck.

    -NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Im 17 and ill be 18 in 3 months but i can't wait that long to stay in this house my mom is very toxic she gets in your head she loves to start problems over that smallest things and i really want to run away

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi,
    Thank you so much for reaching out, we understand that thinking about the process of leaving home is difficult and takes a lot of courage. It sounds like you’ve felt really violated and unsupported in your home for a long time. We are sorry to hear that you have been experiencing physical and emotional abuse in your home. You should not be treated that way by your father and step-mother and you should have been supported better through that difficult time.

    We here at NRS are not legal experts, but what we do know is that running away is not illegal, it is considered a status offense. Generally, if a runaway report is filed, the police technically have the ability to return you back home. If you want more insight into how your local police department would handle your situation, you could anonymously call their non-emergency line, and someone would be able to answer your questions. If you’re uncomfortable calling on your own we would be happy to support you by staying on the line while you call or making that call for you. We can help you facilitate that by calling our 24/7 hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or by accessing our live chat through our website at 1800runaway.org.

    We’re don’t have a lot of knowledge on emancipation in North Carolina. However, there are a few resources in North Carolina that could answer the question of whether or not you could be emancipated after you have left home. Please feel free to reach out by phone or chat, and we would love to connect you with those resources. They could be very helpful for figuring out legal options and having your emancipation concerns answered. Again, we would be happy to support you by helping you call out to these agencies.
    Also, it sounds like you feel as though your mental health has been diminished and invalidated. You deserve to have space to deal with any mental health concerns you may have. There is a national hotline called the National Alliance on Mental Illness whose number is 1 (800) 931-2237 or you could text NAMI to 741741. They could be a good resource to provide you with some support you may not be receiving. We would also be happy to provide you with some mental health resources, if you wish to contact us.

    We really appreciate you reaching out to us. If you feel you need any other support or resources, please feel free to reach out at any time. Our hotline and live chat services are 24/7 and completely confidential. We hope that this information was able to alleviate some of your concerns and that you are able to navigate a path towards a better situation. Please feel free to reach out for more support.

    Best of luck,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi. I was forced to move in with my father at the age of three, because he "proved" my mother to be an unfit parent. However, he has lied any time he has been in court. My father has given me years of physical and mental abuse, and he continues to get away with it. I have called social services on them, but my father and stepmother always explain away the situation so that it seems like I am making up my reports. I cannot contradict them or they will abuse me for it. Recently, they took away my bedroom door. They also pound on the door if I am in the shower for more than 5 minutes or am in the bathroom for more than a minute. I have absolutely no privacy. I am a seventeen year old girl. I am allowed no contact with the outside world at any time, no hanging out with friends or staying after school for required things to pass classes. I am not allowed a cell phone or any type of electronics. They refuse to let me wear clothes that are not three sizes bigger than what I should wear, except for undergarments which are too 5 cup sizes too small, which is actually harmful. I am responsible for all chores. I am forced to take care of my brothers while my parents watch tv all day, and I have to do all laundry, take care of all animals, do all cleaning, and shower and feed and get my brothers ready for any time we have to go somewhere. My brothers are 10 and 11. I was also forced to sleep in the same bedroom as the older of the two brothers because the younger did not want to share a room. The 11 year old is my adopted brother, not even biological, so I should not have been sleeping in that room at all. I have been mistreated since the day we moved away from our old town. we used to live about ten minutes away from my mother but now we live twelve hours away. Because of that, and the fact that I only see her four times a year, my father and stepmother decided to treat me the way they think I deserve to be. I was only allowed to visit my mother with my older sister so I was not allowed to tell her any of the things they did to me. Last summer was the first time I ever got to visit my mother alone, and she tried to get custody. My father, however, has many people involved with the law on his side and lied in the courtroom and successfully forced me to return, where they continued to treat me like their slave and nothing more. I have been told that I am "not allowed" to be depressed, and they continue to decimate my will to live while telling me how good of a home I have and that I am treated so well. I am seventeen years old and would like to know if it is possible for me to run away. I am just so tired of this abuse, and I need to be free. I read a website that child protective services can remove a child from the home if they are concerned for the child's welfare, but even when I had bruises and reported physical abuse they did not do anything. My father has too much influence over anyone that could help me. I just need to get away. I have a place that I can go if I can leave, but I am worried my father and stepmother will have me picked up by the police. But I want to be able to continue school like I would have had to to get emancipated, and I can't do that if they report me and try to have me returned. But I cannot stay here another five months. My stepmother has serious psychological issues. They will either kill me or I will go clinically insane.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    replied
    Hello,

    Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like things at home are really difficult. You do not deserve to be treated that way. It was really brave of you to contact us.You can always call 911 if you feel like you are in immediate danger at home. We understand if that is something you do not feel comfortable with. A resource we can offer you is Child Help. They can help you in regards to how your mom is treating you. They can offer support to you and answer any questions you may have about abuse. They are also able to help report the abuse going on at home if that is something you want to do.

    We can offer you additional support via our live chat on our website www.1800runaway.org or our hotline which you can call us at 1800-786-2929. This is a challenging time and we can offer whatever support we can! We are available 24/7 and are confidential.

    Stay safe!
    The National Runaway Safeline

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi im 14 years old and im having sum real bad problems at home i ran away yesterday bc my brother choked me and i fought him back and my mom yelled at meand slapped me and i packed my stuff and wrnt out side she called the police and i was there just stilling behind a tree hor two hours and i went back in and asked her y i could leave bc she kicked me out me before but i never left and she just yelled at me and dragged me and scrathed up my face so i walk an hour to my friends house at 10 at night i was scared but i had to go it wss cold my foot was soaked in water got there a 11 and got sum socks and blanket and laid in the car bc i did want them to get arrested but she made me go in about and hour later the police came and took me home and went to bed in the morning my mom came in my room lying saying she loves me when she dont and she said she would took to me again when she comes home she comes back and k was sleep she woke me up to yell at me saying i couldnt have my phone or see my boyfriend ever again and i got mad ans asked her y she came to just yell at me and she caught and attiude and try to hit me and i was blocking in and she said i hit her and she was punching my im my head and sitting on my chest i couldny breath at all and she wouldn't move a
    so i bite her and scrathched her fo get off and nlw shes trying to sed me away and called the police i want to run away again idk wat to do.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod6
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    It sounds like you have been going through a lot for a long time. It makes sense that you are ready to start your own life. It’s not ok that your parents have been abusing you and putting you through all that for so long. It sounds like your girlfriend is supportive of you and wants you to be somewhere safe and happy too. It’s great to have that kind of support. It also sounds like your mom has a lot going on that is out of your control and it must be a lot for you and your siblings to deal with. Nar-Anon is a national group for people that have love ones who have an addiction problem. Sometimes it can be helpful being around people that have similar problems to what you are going through. You can find a meeting near you with this website (www.nar-anon.org). It could also be helpful talking to a trusted adult at school, like a school counselor or social worker. They might know some local resources or other options that could help you.
    If you have someone to stay with, you can stay there with your parent’s permission. It’s called an alternate living situation. It’s best to get their permission in writing, or you can check your local police station to see if there are more formal paperwork to fill out.

    If you have thought about filing an abuse report, Child Help is a great resource that can walk you through the process and can answer more direct questions about the process and the possible outcomes (www.childhlep.org). If you decide to leave without permission and need help finding a shelter in your area you can call or chat with us and we can look for something near you. If you decide to leave and want more information about how you can stay in school while you are homeless here is a website that could help you with that (https://nche.ed.gov/). There is also a program called Job Corps. It’s a nationwide residential career training program. So you could stay there while getting training for a job or help finishing high school. You can look more into the program and fill out a form if you are interested at (https://www.jobcorps.gov/).

    If you would like to look into emancipation, here are the qualifications for North Carolina:
    In determining the best interests of the petitioner and the need for emancipation, the court shall review the following considerations:
    (1) The parental need for the earnings of the petitioner;
    (2) The petitioner's ability to function as an adult;
    (3) The petitioner's need to contract as an adult or to marry;
    (4) The employment status of the petitioner and the stability of the petitioner's living arrangements;
    (5) The extent of family discord which may threaten reconciliation of the petitioner with the petitioner's family;
    (6) The petitioner's rejection of parental supervision or support; and
    (7) The quality of parental supervision or support.
    If those are requirement you think you can meet and would like to move forward with it, you can also contact us for legal help in that process. We have local law offices that could help you.


    I know this is a lot a information all at once. If you would like to talk about your situation more specifically we are available to call or chat 24/7 (1-800-786-2929 or www.1800runaway.org). It’s really brave of you to reach out for help. Your safety is our number one priority.
    Good Luck.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    im tatum and im 16. my whole family are drug heads. ive never had a steady home for more then an year.ive lived in hotels and ive been homeless at one point. since i was 5 id bounce off couches with my dad or live with my mom and her boyfriend. they all are drug addicts. my dad does coke and mom does pills while her boyfriend does meth. my girlfriend (20) lives with us (mom and her bf) and wants me to leave too because she sees how it is . my mom is very sick mentally and diagnosed with lot of disorders.and does not take her meds. ive been abused one way or another every house hold ive lived at.mentally sexually and phycically at one point. i ran away from my dads after my dads girlfriend threatened me with a gun and told me ive been lesbian too long. and made statments saying she was going to send me somewhere ill be rapped.so i ran to my moms after not seeing her for 4 years shes told me she hasnt touched a drug in years but she keeps getting caught in lies about it. so many times cps was called because of them. my sister and my brother has both tried to kill them selfs at one point and i began to self harm for a little bit. not anymore though. i now live with my mom her boyfriend and my girlfriend in a very bad trailer park with meth heads everywhere. at least 3 times there has been a shoot out or cops called over fights. my mom gets drugged up and pretends i dont know. if i confront her she swears up and down she hasnt. but ive seen her walk into a hospital thinking its a store. come on now. im not dumb.plus her boyfriend does meth and they fist fight all the time i want to run away but i need to think. im done trying to be a kid i just want to be happy. and have my own place with a job and support myself since no one else can.what can i do? i have no option to move in with any family because theyve given me chronic ptsd and i cant handle it. i just want to finally live. please help me. thank you.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod1
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    Thank you so much for having the courage to reach out and share a bit about what's going on with your daughter's friend. It's so great to see that you are working to advocate for her. She does not deserve to be abused in any way and it's worrisome to see that CPS has kept her under her mother's guardianship. Some areas have transitional housing for runaway, homeless and in-crisis youth that work towards creating self-sufficiency and she may be a good candidate for programs like these. When she is released from the hospital it might be a good idea to have her contact us directly by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY or by chatting with us via the "CHAT" button on the top of our homepage so we can discuss her situation in depth and explore other options that she may have.

    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My daughters beat friend has been both sexually and emotionally abused by her mom. Her dad has wanted nothing to do with her lately. A couple of days ago my daughter brought her to our house after a sexual assault by her mom. We did everything we could. We filed a CPS investigation and went to the police however she was still forced to go back home with her mom. She is currently in the hospital with suicidal ideation. Her mom is trying to alienate her from everyone who cares about her. What are her options once she is discharged?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod1
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do. We aren’t legal experts here at NRS, but generally speaking, as a minor you can not live where you'd like without prior permission from your guardian. If you do opt to leave your home your mom can file a runaway report, which is essentially a missing person report. Running away is a status offense; this means that it isn’t illegal, but it’s something you can’t do while still a minor. If a runaway report is filed and you are located by the authorities you will most likely be returned home.

    If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

    Stay safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I'm 15 and my close friends mom wants me to ask my mom can I move in with her... I need to in my personal opinion... And we'll I know my mom will probably say no but I think it will be best for me. So what do I do if my mom says no is there a way by law that I can? Because I'm thinking of running away if she says no

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod10
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

    If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best

    We hope to hear from you soon.
    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I ran away at 15 in north carolina and got put into a mental hospital, they honestly dont care if youre being abused or not.. i had bruises all over my body and all, came home my windows got boarded up, im 17 never and cant even leave the house.. im so ready to turn 18!

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod9
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.We are sorry you are goin through so much and feel like you don’t have a way out. As far as looking for houses and such. It important to know that18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. As far as feeling alone please know you are not and can always give us a call or another option to gain great support from those that are familiar with the issues and experiences of those that are also a part of the LGBTQ community. You can access their website link bellow to utilize all the other possibly useful resources they have to offer: http://www.glbthotline.org/ . If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
    We hope to hear from you soon.
    Be safe, NRS
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