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My Runaway Rights in North Carolina

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hello I live in nc, I’m 17 right now and I turn 18 in 4 months and my mother and father and stepfather made me break up with my boyfriend because they didn’t like him..... when I turn 18 and get done with school could I move in with him and my family not press charges since I would be 18 at that time and if I do move in with him we would be moving to another state so would that change anything?

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  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi, and thanks for reaching out to us.

    It sounds like you are going through an incredibly difficult situation and that there are multiple reasons why you are feeling a significant amount of stress. First of all, no one should physically or verbally abuse you, and you do not deserve that. The things you mentioned that have happened between you and your dad could be reported to Child Protective Services, and we can help you with that if you are interested in this option. You can also contact Child Help, an organization that helps to protect minors from being harmed. Child Help can tell you more about the reporting process and what CPS might be able to do to help. childhelp.org;1-800-422-4453

    You mentioned your “fake” coming out to your parents, and how their response gave you proof that they are unaccepting and even hostile to the position you are truly in. It must be very hurtful to know that they do not accept you as you are, and that you are judged by the people that are supposed to love and care for you, no matter what. It’s understandable that you would want to leave the situation and find another place to live.

    A few of the difficulties with the plan you mentioned are in regards to legal complications that come with running away. If your parents file a runaway report, the police will be looking for you and anyone that helps you or gives you a place to stay could be held criminally liable for aiding a minor runaway. Attempting to avoid the police could possibly lead to you being in dangerous situations where you don’t feel like you have anyone to call for help.

    You stated that you don’t want the “bull crap” answers and that is likely because when you have told people about some of what has been going on for you in the past, you have received support that didn’t mean much or help you change your situation. This is a frustrating place to be. We have additional support options we can discuss with you if you are ever interested. Please know that your desire for people to take you seriously and listen and believe you is recognized and completely valid.

    Thank you again for contacting us, and we wish you all the best.

    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I wanna run away

    hello I am 14 and I live in NC and my dad has been ever since I was 7 committing verbal and physical abuse on me by calling me things such as “idiot, stupid, pathetic, a disappointment, an embarrassment to this family” and those are just the few of what he has called me and what he does to hurt me physically is he would throw me around the house into walls, the floor, and my bed frame (which is metal btw) and he would also hit me but he doesn’t call it that he calls it “popping in the head” which is just slapping me as hard as he can anywhere on my head and he would also throw things at me such as once a bowl (that was breakable) and a plastic toy shopping cart and my dad has gone over the border by just yelling straight in my face and he thinks I bully my siblings even tho my dad treats them like they are royal and I am a peasant and I’m gay but I am so scared to come out to him I came out to my mom one time to see how she would react (it was just an experiment I wasn’t actually gay at the time) she just shook her head called my dad and put him on speaker and he told me “listen you are gonna pack a bag full of your clothes, and blankets and make sure you get warm clothes and cool clothes I want you gone before I get home from work cause I don’t want you ruining the minds of your siblings who are not led astray on the path towards heaven” I had said I was just joking and he said “never do this again or even if you are joking you will leave” my dad is very homophobic and I just wanna run away I have a friend in Texas who said if I were to run away he would come and pick me up and take me to live with him and he would help me with so many things but should I do this? And I don’t wanna hear the bull crap saying “you shouldn’t really do that” and “if you are experiencing something you should call this number” I just want answers and not excuses pls respond back ASAP

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  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for reaching out to us on behalf of your girlfriend. While we are not legal experts, we can speak generally on this. Because your girlfriend is a minor, her legal guardians and DSS do have a legal responsibility for her. It sounds like a report was made to DSS that your girlfriend was kicked out and not living at home. The goal of DSS is generally to make sure the young person has a safe place to stay and to work toward family reunification whenever possible. Child protective services or DSS can be limited in where they are able to place youth which could be why your girlfriend was presented with those two options.

    Living somewhere without permission from legal guardians is not illegal, but it is a status offense. This basically means DSS or the aunt and uncle can ask police to pick her up if she is found.

    We are here 24/7 to be a support for you and your girlfriend. If either of you would like to talk more about her situation and explore possible options, we are available for immediate support by phone 1-800-786-2929 and through live chat 1800runaway.org.

    Take care,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My 15 year old girlfriend was living with her aumt an uncle then got kicked out but her and now her mom has for some reason called dss and they threatened her with going home or calling the police amd going to a foster home for 3 years.My question is can they physically force her to go back even tho she was kicked out and can police physically force her to even if she has no charges or warrants?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod0
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on with your mom. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
    While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
    The easiest way to leave home is with your parents' permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.
    We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). If you would like to look into further emotional support options, you can text with a crisis worker at the National Alliance on Mental Illness 24/7 by texting "NAMI" to 741741.
    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    hey im 16 years old and i live in North Carolina well im not happy in this dark place i feel like im trapped because of my mom, she doesnt let me go no where out with my friends . My mom is always arguing with me , im always sad here , im not happy at all . When i try to talk to my mom about how i feel she just starts arguing with me out of no where is like i cant talk to her about anything i wish my mom would understand me as a parent and would let me have more freedom for ex : go out and hangout with my friends . Ive been thinking of just running away because i just dont like being here . im not happy living in this house . I just want to have freedom but my mom doesnt let me get that which makes me upset and become more depressed . i want to leave and just live with my close friend but then again i dont wanna have problems with the police just because i ran away . PLEASE HELP ME . IM IN A VERY DARK MOMENT RIGHT NOW AND ITS HARD TO DECIDE I JUST WANNA BE HAPPY .

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,
    Thanks for reaching out to NRS and sharing some of your story. It sounds like you have made a real effort recently to improve yourself and get into a better mindset and be more mindful of communicating where you are for safety. It’s reasonable to feel like you have earned more trust through your actions with your mom and some more freedom that can come with that stronger trust but that your mom is moving slower on that end because of past issues that you feel you have moved past. It can sometimes take a long time to earn back trust that may have been lost in the past and prove to her that the change is real, from her perspective it might be just one mistake from you ending up making a decision you would regret and wants to protect you from that. It might be worth talking with her and asking what things you could do to earn the trust to go hang out with your friends for a couple days when you just need a break from the pressure at home. There might be a compromise or a path to getting those privileges.
    As for your question about being a runway at 16, we are not legal experts and each state is a bit different but generally if you leave the home without permission your mom can report you as a runaway. This is a status offence, not a criminal one, so police would look for you and probably bring you home. The persons you stay with could also potentially face harboring a runaway charge. The chance of harboring charges do tend to go down from what we have heard if they don’t try to hide you from police and are providing a safe place for you.
    Hopefully this has helped clear up your options a bit for you. If you have more questions or just need someone to talk to about more options or a plan feel free to talk with us by phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY, or use our online chat at www.1800runaway.org.
    Good Luck!
    NRS.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I'm 16 and I have been struggling with trying to find a happy place in my life. I always feel like things never work in my favor, which they usually dont.. I do understand however that it's a part of life you cant get around . I like going to my friends house every once in a while , when I used to go I did end up in trouble but that was before hand , I've gotten into a better headset. I know where im supposed to be and where I'm not . I know what situations to avoid and which ones are okay . I have tired to compromise with my mother , giving her my location and all of the above but she still wont give. She lightened up for a moment but just as fast she tightened down again. I cant even go 10 minutes down the road to a friends house because she doesn't like her and "She knows how these things go" . She fails to realize that with her life story as with those of my older siblings that I'm not going to make the same mistakes. What I want out of life is very different then what she wanted. I have been down way to long , it's a priority to stay safe and to make it . I have to by any and all means and not for her but for me. She doesn't listen though she thinks she has it all figured out . Which is what she would say about me but I know very well I dont have it all figured out and I know I dont know everything but if I need a day or two amongst my peers to get my head back on track then why is that such a problem. She continues to waste her time with her boyfriend who is very much just... a clear absolute waste of time . Nobody ever tells her what to do though . I want to run away. I'm not sure if I can though. What's the law in North Carolina for a 16 year old on the run ?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod4
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

    We appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
    You have a friend that may be experiencing some verbal and physical abuse.
    We are sorry to hear this. They do not deserve to be abused by their parent’s. It’s not their fault for what has been going on. Because of this they are thinking about running away.
    It also sounds like you have some concerns about what might happen if the police become involved.

    While we are not experts on the law, someone under 18 that leaves home, the parent/guardian may file them as a runaway and they may be returned home. Also, those that a reported runaway stays with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. Anyone found to be assisting or aiding someone to run away may also find themselves at risk legally. For more specifics on the law, you might consider contacting the local non-emergency number for the police. You might also look for a legal aid center in the area. They may be able to answer any legal questions on the subject.

    We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    So I have a 14 year old friend and his parents grew up in a culture that allows this kind of abuse verbally and light physical abuse. He is skeptical about running away. Like deep inside he wants to but at the same time he can't. We all live in the triangle in N.C. and we aren't quite sure on the laws. Right now we are basically planning on calling either a youth shelter or his real dad. We would essentially call one of those right after he runs away and we meet up. We need to know the legal concerns and what charges we could face, whether we could get a misdemeanor or a real felony charge or even worse prison time. PLS. help, if u know about the law here it could help out
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 07-31-2020, 02:10 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you so much for reaching out. It really seems like you feel isolated and abused in your home. It's also understandable why you would be nervous to leave your siblings, they are lucky to have someone like you who really cares about their well-being. You do not deserve to be verbally abused by anyone but especially by a parent who is supposed to support and care for you. We understand it can take a great deal of courage to reach out for help, and we are glad you to support you in anyway that we can.

    It can definitely be a big decision to decide to leave home, and it seems like you are worried about your siblings. But, with having no freedom and being verbally abused it is completely understandable why you would be considering leaving, and we're glad to hear you have friends who care for you. When it comes to making the decision to leave, there can be a lot to consider. We hope we can help you make the best, most-informed decision. It could be helpful to consider how you would support yourself, if your friends would let you stay long term, how you would continue school, etc. When it comes to considering your plan and how people in your life would react, you know your situation, your dad, and your friends best.

    It also may be helpful to be aware of some of the runaway laws in North Carolina. We are not legal experts, but we know some general rules. Youth are technically not allowed to leave home until they are 18. Running away is not illegal, but parents and guardians are expected to file runaway reports with the police. This means that your local police will be made aware that you have left, and if you were to end up in their custody, they would most likely return you home. It's also important to note that Harboring a Runaway laws exist in some places. This means your guardian could potentially press charges against whoever you stayed with, but to our knowledge, this does not happen very often.

    By sharing this information, we do not wish to give you advice on what is best for you, we just want to encourage that all possibilities have space to be explored so you can make a decision that feels comfortable and safe for you. If you would like to continue to discuss your plans or talk more about your situation, you can call us at 1-800-786-2929 or live chat with us through our website. It seems like even though you are going through a lot with your dad, you really care about your siblings and exploring your possibilities. We are open 24/7/365 and we are confidential, if there is anything else we can help you with, please do not hesitate to reach out.

    Best of luck and stay safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi I'm about to turn 17 and I'm verbally abused at my house my dad threatens me all the time and my mother kicked me out at a young age i have been thinking about running away for so long but scared to because I don't wanna leave my siblings behind to deal with the same thing my dad won't lete do anything have a job see friends or even see my boyfriend I'm so tierd of this I have been told by my friends that if I need a place to stay I can stay with them what should I do

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a really difficult situation at home and are contemplating running away. We are so glad you sought our help—you have come to the right place.

    It is important you know first of all that no one deserves to be emotionally and sexually abused like this. In your post, you state that you do not feel safe and comfortable at home, and you absolutely should not have to feel like this. You indicate not wanting to call the police, but you should know that the police will always be available to respond to immediate danger in your home. They can be reached at 911. You can also always report an abuse to Child Protective Services. If you want help understanding how this works you can reach out to Child Help at 1-800-422-4453. We can also walk you through the process of abuse reporting at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are always here to help.

    Your decision to run away seems based on your need for the real love and respect you deserve. It is great that you have put so much mature thought into it. It is important that you consider that leaving home without parental consent can lead to police involvement. While it is not illegal for a minor to run away, it is considered a status offense (like smoking a cigarette when you are a minor) and if your parents report you as a runaway, the police will try to find you and bring you back home. Perhaps reaching out to the friend with whom you want to stay and enlisting their parent/guardian to become involved in getting your parents’ consent would help. You have made an important step in running away—figuring out where you will go; now, you simply need to figure out the steps to get there and stay there, if that is what you want. If you feel like you want a better picture of this, you can reach out to us at any time.

    We hope that some of this information was useful to you. You have been very brave in the face of a very hard situation, and you deserve freedom from your home, if that’s what you want. As you take this journey, we hope that you will consider us an ally. We can always talk to you at 1-800-RUNAWAY or via instant messenger at 1800runaway.org.

    Stay safe and strong out there.
    Sincerely,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hello... I’m 13 years old and I’ve lived here in North Carolina at this house since I was born, I feel unsafe and uncomfortable, my mother always calls me names and sometimes even neglects and treats me lower than my brother... my father recently started touching my thighs, stomach, and sometimes even poking my butt which is really violating to me and I’m seriously considering running away, I have a couple friends who would be able to help out one of which lives not too far away, and the other can’t physically help me but she’s the one whose been helping me through most of this. Oh and I haven’t mentioned my brother, he has physically hurt me before and he is only 15, he also yells and intrudes on my personal space. I feel very violated and I don’t want to move away from my friends and such so I don’t want to call the police that is why living with a friend would be easiest for me and I have even written a note that would explain to my parents what I’ve been feeling, here is what the note says- “I ran away, yes this is probably not something you want to read but, I don’t feel comfortable with you guys anymore and it’s my choice and it’s the best thing I could think of because I don’t want to hurt you more than I have. Please don’t report a missing persons, I am safe living with a friend and will message you occasionally to tell you I’m alright and living well, I may come visit again someday but not any time soon I just need a lot of space ok!” I don’t know if that’s good enough or not I just really need help right now and to get away.

    Leave a comment:

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