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My Runaway Rights in North Carolina

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I have had a difficult time lately with my parents.(I am currently 11) This month was a sudden spike in my "Accidental activity". It means that I accidentally do stuff like for example not closing the milk cap and not putting it in the fridge. These have grave consequences for me. My parents think that hitting and yelling and slapping is a holy grail for teaching me how to behave. I get punished, pushed around and occasionally get cussed out. After the heat cools down my mom always makes these small comments while passing by me that make me feel like trash. Like absolute nothingness. I currently self diagnosed my self with ADD (Attention deficit disorder) and I feel so enraged by my parents actions that when they yell im so mad and want to punch them that I burst into tears. This happens every day and my parents absoluteley prefer my little sister. Don't get me wrong I love my little sis but she just can't help blaming every crime scene on me. As i said it has gotten way worse and I am now being fat shamed. My report card is coming and I am terrified because I haven't been doing well in math and I am seriously considering running away but I am underage and have no plan and no allowance. (like my parents would ever give me one.)
    Is there anyway anyone can help? Please...

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there, thanks for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). It sounds like you’re going through a challenging time and we’re glad you reached out. It’s resourceful of you to find us, and courageous of you to reach out for support when things are feeling overwhelming!

    Based on what you’ve shared we’ve included resource options you might consider reaching out to.

    Haven House Services offer a variety of youth services, including youth shelter. They are a little ways a way near Raleigh, but if you can reach out to them they can talk you through your local options. Call 919-832-7866 or https://www.havenhousenc.org/wrennhouse/

    Closer to home is Durham Crisis Response Center (DCRC) and they support people experiencing family violence. Call 919-403-6562 or https://www.durhamcrisisresponse.org/programs-services
    Urban Ministries of Durham offer a variety of crisis supports, call (919) 817-5620 or https://umdurham.org/i-need-help.html

    And while it sounds like you were not given the support you deserve the last time an abuse report was filed with Child Protective Services, you do have the right/option to file another one if you choose at https://www.ncdhhs.gov/divisions/soc...ctive-services . No one deserves to be harmed in any way and you deserve safety and protection. You can also tell a teacher or school counselor what is happening and they are mandated reporters, and it is their job to help you.

    National Safe Place to find safe spaces for youth at https://www.nationalsafeplace.org/find-a-safe-place

    If you want to call the local non-emergency police with questions, they can be reached here: Durham Police Department at (919)560-4600

    If you contact us via our confidential CHAT service or the HOTLINE we can discuss options with you in real time. Often having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. And if you call us, we are happy to call out to youth agencies and legal resources with you if you’d like.

    You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this difficult time.

    We are LIMITED in the Number of Times we can respond Via the FORUM so if you’d like further contact, please instead contact us via our ONLINE CHAT SERVICE at www.1800runaway.org (click on the CHAT button) or our HOTLINE at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929). We are available 24/7. We are here for you and wish you all the best, NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My Run Away Rights in North Carolina

    Hello, I am a 15-year-old female I live in Durham North Carolina. I am a freshman, I have a lot of trouble at home my mom chooses her 41-year-old boyfriend over anyone else. I have 8 younger sisters and a brother. My youngest brother stays with my father but the rest of us stay with my mom. My mom is very abusive she slaps me and whoops me and until my skin is red. In 7th grade she broke both of my thumbs and social services was called but no action was taken into hands the only thing that happened was my mom got to choose what relative I had to move in with for 6 months. She couldn't touch me for 6 months but after those 6 months, everything went to hell. Her boyfriend who is not related to us started hitting on us, whooping my younger brothers with an extension cord. He alls us female dogs he treats us like grass. Every night they would cook themselves their own 4 coursed meals and we had to eat sandwiches and noodles. Anything that happens is always balmed n me I am always accused of lying. Recently My mom ad Dad whooped me until my skin was red. I got whooped 2 days straight, My dad took me to his room slammed me on the bed, and started choking m. I was moving in with my grandma but my mom took me from there and is forcing me to work with my dad. He is a landscaper and recently he made me pull a door of the nails and I injured my foot he didn't care tho. I am trying to get a job but my parents will not let me. I am tired I can never focus in school because I am always taking care of SOMEONE. I felt as if I was to leave it would be better for my health and my safety.

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  • ccsmod2
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello There,
    Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen.

    We are not legal experts but we do have some information on leaving home. In NC the legal age to leave home without permission is 18 years old, so if you were to leave at 18 your legal guardian could not file a runaway report.
    From our understanding your parents would not be able to press charged if you were to move in with your boyfriend at 18. The law of NC would apply since that is where you originally reside, to get the best answer you may want to consider calling your local police department and asking them.
    We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any questions or would like to explore options, please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support to you. We wish you the best of luck!
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hello I live in nc, I’m 17 right now and I turn 18 in 4 months and my mother and father and stepfather made me break up with my boyfriend because they didn’t like him..... when I turn 18 and get done with school could I move in with him and my family not press charges since I would be 18 at that time and if I do move in with him we would be moving to another state so would that change anything?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi, and thanks for reaching out to us.

    It sounds like you are going through an incredibly difficult situation and that there are multiple reasons why you are feeling a significant amount of stress. First of all, no one should physically or verbally abuse you, and you do not deserve that. The things you mentioned that have happened between you and your dad could be reported to Child Protective Services, and we can help you with that if you are interested in this option. You can also contact Child Help, an organization that helps to protect minors from being harmed. Child Help can tell you more about the reporting process and what CPS might be able to do to help. childhelp.org;1-800-422-4453

    You mentioned your “fake” coming out to your parents, and how their response gave you proof that they are unaccepting and even hostile to the position you are truly in. It must be very hurtful to know that they do not accept you as you are, and that you are judged by the people that are supposed to love and care for you, no matter what. It’s understandable that you would want to leave the situation and find another place to live.

    A few of the difficulties with the plan you mentioned are in regards to legal complications that come with running away. If your parents file a runaway report, the police will be looking for you and anyone that helps you or gives you a place to stay could be held criminally liable for aiding a minor runaway. Attempting to avoid the police could possibly lead to you being in dangerous situations where you don’t feel like you have anyone to call for help.

    You stated that you don’t want the “bull crap” answers and that is likely because when you have told people about some of what has been going on for you in the past, you have received support that didn’t mean much or help you change your situation. This is a frustrating place to be. We have additional support options we can discuss with you if you are ever interested. Please know that your desire for people to take you seriously and listen and believe you is recognized and completely valid.

    Thank you again for contacting us, and we wish you all the best.

    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I wanna run away

    hello I am 14 and I live in NC and my dad has been ever since I was 7 committing verbal and physical abuse on me by calling me things such as “idiot, stupid, pathetic, a disappointment, an embarrassment to this family” and those are just the few of what he has called me and what he does to hurt me physically is he would throw me around the house into walls, the floor, and my bed frame (which is metal btw) and he would also hit me but he doesn’t call it that he calls it “popping in the head” which is just slapping me as hard as he can anywhere on my head and he would also throw things at me such as once a bowl (that was breakable) and a plastic toy shopping cart and my dad has gone over the border by just yelling straight in my face and he thinks I bully my siblings even tho my dad treats them like they are royal and I am a peasant and I’m gay but I am so scared to come out to him I came out to my mom one time to see how she would react (it was just an experiment I wasn’t actually gay at the time) she just shook her head called my dad and put him on speaker and he told me “listen you are gonna pack a bag full of your clothes, and blankets and make sure you get warm clothes and cool clothes I want you gone before I get home from work cause I don’t want you ruining the minds of your siblings who are not led astray on the path towards heaven” I had said I was just joking and he said “never do this again or even if you are joking you will leave” my dad is very homophobic and I just wanna run away I have a friend in Texas who said if I were to run away he would come and pick me up and take me to live with him and he would help me with so many things but should I do this? And I don’t wanna hear the bull crap saying “you shouldn’t really do that” and “if you are experiencing something you should call this number” I just want answers and not excuses pls respond back ASAP

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for reaching out to us on behalf of your girlfriend. While we are not legal experts, we can speak generally on this. Because your girlfriend is a minor, her legal guardians and DSS do have a legal responsibility for her. It sounds like a report was made to DSS that your girlfriend was kicked out and not living at home. The goal of DSS is generally to make sure the young person has a safe place to stay and to work toward family reunification whenever possible. Child protective services or DSS can be limited in where they are able to place youth which could be why your girlfriend was presented with those two options.

    Living somewhere without permission from legal guardians is not illegal, but it is a status offense. This basically means DSS or the aunt and uncle can ask police to pick her up if she is found.

    We are here 24/7 to be a support for you and your girlfriend. If either of you would like to talk more about her situation and explore possible options, we are available for immediate support by phone 1-800-786-2929 and through live chat 1800runaway.org.

    Take care,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My 15 year old girlfriend was living with her aumt an uncle then got kicked out but her and now her mom has for some reason called dss and they threatened her with going home or calling the police amd going to a foster home for 3 years.My question is can they physically force her to go back even tho she was kicked out and can police physically force her to even if she has no charges or warrants?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod0
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on with your mom. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
    While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
    The easiest way to leave home is with your parents' permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.
    We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). If you would like to look into further emotional support options, you can text with a crisis worker at the National Alliance on Mental Illness 24/7 by texting "NAMI" to 741741.
    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    hey im 16 years old and i live in North Carolina well im not happy in this dark place i feel like im trapped because of my mom, she doesnt let me go no where out with my friends . My mom is always arguing with me , im always sad here , im not happy at all . When i try to talk to my mom about how i feel she just starts arguing with me out of no where is like i cant talk to her about anything i wish my mom would understand me as a parent and would let me have more freedom for ex : go out and hangout with my friends . Ive been thinking of just running away because i just dont like being here . im not happy living in this house . I just want to have freedom but my mom doesnt let me get that which makes me upset and become more depressed . i want to leave and just live with my close friend but then again i dont wanna have problems with the police just because i ran away . PLEASE HELP ME . IM IN A VERY DARK MOMENT RIGHT NOW AND ITS HARD TO DECIDE I JUST WANNA BE HAPPY .

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,
    Thanks for reaching out to NRS and sharing some of your story. It sounds like you have made a real effort recently to improve yourself and get into a better mindset and be more mindful of communicating where you are for safety. It’s reasonable to feel like you have earned more trust through your actions with your mom and some more freedom that can come with that stronger trust but that your mom is moving slower on that end because of past issues that you feel you have moved past. It can sometimes take a long time to earn back trust that may have been lost in the past and prove to her that the change is real, from her perspective it might be just one mistake from you ending up making a decision you would regret and wants to protect you from that. It might be worth talking with her and asking what things you could do to earn the trust to go hang out with your friends for a couple days when you just need a break from the pressure at home. There might be a compromise or a path to getting those privileges.
    As for your question about being a runway at 16, we are not legal experts and each state is a bit different but generally if you leave the home without permission your mom can report you as a runaway. This is a status offence, not a criminal one, so police would look for you and probably bring you home. The persons you stay with could also potentially face harboring a runaway charge. The chance of harboring charges do tend to go down from what we have heard if they don’t try to hide you from police and are providing a safe place for you.
    Hopefully this has helped clear up your options a bit for you. If you have more questions or just need someone to talk to about more options or a plan feel free to talk with us by phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY, or use our online chat at www.1800runaway.org.
    Good Luck!
    NRS.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I'm 16 and I have been struggling with trying to find a happy place in my life. I always feel like things never work in my favor, which they usually dont.. I do understand however that it's a part of life you cant get around . I like going to my friends house every once in a while , when I used to go I did end up in trouble but that was before hand , I've gotten into a better headset. I know where im supposed to be and where I'm not . I know what situations to avoid and which ones are okay . I have tired to compromise with my mother , giving her my location and all of the above but she still wont give. She lightened up for a moment but just as fast she tightened down again. I cant even go 10 minutes down the road to a friends house because she doesn't like her and "She knows how these things go" . She fails to realize that with her life story as with those of my older siblings that I'm not going to make the same mistakes. What I want out of life is very different then what she wanted. I have been down way to long , it's a priority to stay safe and to make it . I have to by any and all means and not for her but for me. She doesn't listen though she thinks she has it all figured out . Which is what she would say about me but I know very well I dont have it all figured out and I know I dont know everything but if I need a day or two amongst my peers to get my head back on track then why is that such a problem. She continues to waste her time with her boyfriend who is very much just... a clear absolute waste of time . Nobody ever tells her what to do though . I want to run away. I'm not sure if I can though. What's the law in North Carolina for a 16 year old on the run ?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod4
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

    We appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
    You have a friend that may be experiencing some verbal and physical abuse.
    We are sorry to hear this. They do not deserve to be abused by their parent’s. It’s not their fault for what has been going on. Because of this they are thinking about running away.
    It also sounds like you have some concerns about what might happen if the police become involved.

    While we are not experts on the law, someone under 18 that leaves home, the parent/guardian may file them as a runaway and they may be returned home. Also, those that a reported runaway stays with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. Anyone found to be assisting or aiding someone to run away may also find themselves at risk legally. For more specifics on the law, you might consider contacting the local non-emergency number for the police. You might also look for a legal aid center in the area. They may be able to answer any legal questions on the subject.

    We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    So I have a 14 year old friend and his parents grew up in a culture that allows this kind of abuse verbally and light physical abuse. He is skeptical about running away. Like deep inside he wants to but at the same time he can't. We all live in the triangle in N.C. and we aren't quite sure on the laws. Right now we are basically planning on calling either a youth shelter or his real dad. We would essentially call one of those right after he runs away and we meet up. We need to know the legal concerns and what charges we could face, whether we could get a misdemeanor or a real felony charge or even worse prison time. PLS. help, if u know about the law here it could help out
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 07-31-2020, 03:10 AM.

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