My Runaway Rights in North Carolina

[ccsmod4]

Reply: Emotionally, Mentally, Psychologically hurt

Hello,
Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

It sounds like you are having some serious issues at home with your parents and might be considering to run away from home.
We appreciate you reaching out and expressing your feelings.
It sounds things have made you frustrated and you are searching for options on what to do.

NRS is here to listen and here to help.
If you would like to talk and maybe explore some other options please contact NRS at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or www.1800Runaway.org (live chat).

Great job reaching out today.
Take care,
NRS

[Leah]

Almost 17 and want to move out

I'm almost 17 yrs old and I want to move out. My parents keep me like a prisoner in my own home. I have no access to internet or a phone so I sit and my room that I share with my grandmother and write. My mom screams at me and says I've got an attitude because I'm in my room. My dad is an alcoholic and is always drunk, both parents just sleep away most of the day. My mom curses at me and throws stuff at me all the time. I can never do anything right. My best friends mom has told me that she would take me in as long as it's done legally because neither of us want to get into trouble. When I was younger my grandfather sexual abused me and I told my parents and they didn't do anything about it, social services were called to the house a few years ago as well, the police were called too because she was trying to fight me. She takes pills that aren't hers too. She is very racist and doesn't ever like anyone I try to be friends with. I've told my parents I want to move out but they told me that they will never allow that to happen. My mom also took RX medication away from me that I was on for anxiety and depression and just laughed as I went through withdrawals from being taken off of it to quickly. I don't know what to do. I was spending almost every day at my friends house but now I'm barely even allowed to stay the night one night a weekend. I'm miserable and if I don't get out of here soon I'm going to lose my mind. Please tell me what I can do. I know I can call and ask the PD what they will do if a 17 yr old leaves home without permission

[ccsmod2]

re: Almost 17 and I want to move out

Hi,

18 years old is generally the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian. If you are contemplating running away and you are already aware of the consequences, then you would need to make a decision for yourself whether or not you should go through with it. We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms. If you are under 18 and leave home without permission, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. However, in that case there may be services (family counseling, etc.) available to you as a youth in crisis/runaway but again, police procedures related to offering those services can be different based on your location or the details of your situation. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth.

NRS

[Guest]

Hi. I'm 17 years old and live in North Carolina. I live with my dad and my stepmom. My mom died 2 and a half years ago of stage 4 breast cancer. After she died, my dad said "If she loved you enough, she would have stayed." He treats me like ********. Even before she died, he hated me. The only reason I wasn't sent to the orphanage is because my mom stopped him. She cared about me and I love her so much, but now she's gone. She always protected me against most of the physical abuse and the emotional abuse.
My dad always tells me I'm not good enough. Once, he beat me so badly that my aunt had to stop him. She stood in front of him. He said that if she wasn't there, I would've gone to the hospital with the injuries he would have caused me. My stepmom is really just a huge ********** and I hate her so much. Yesterday, she told me to just get out of the house and never come back. She thinks that because she's married to my dad, then she can control my life and what I can do and what I can't do. She doesn't let me go out with friends, she doesn't let me finish all of my homework (she's just like "who cares about your homework? You're a failure anyway."), she doesn't let me do anything at all whatsoever, and my dad goes along with her.
I can't take it anymore. She says false stuff about me. I clean the house and I sometimes cook, and SHE takes the credit. She says that I never do anything and that I'm just lazy when I do all of the work. She does nothing but sit around on her phone all day.
I was clean from self-harming for over a year, but I started up again less than a month ago and I can't stop. I can't take it. I believe everything they say about me. They treat my brothers like they're the best people ever, but my brothers are almost as bad as my "parents." I can't take it. I try to write down my feelings. I try to calm myself down. But none of that worked. I stole one of the sharp knives from the kitchen and started using that. I started trying to starve myself because people say I'm too fat. I've attempted suicide a few times. The only reason it didn't work is either because the pills wouldn't stay down or the knife wasn't sharp enough. I can't take it. Please help. I'm drowning and no one's noticing. I'm suffocating yet no one's caring. Please... please help me. I have so many scars and no one's trying to heal them. I'm trying so hard, I really am. It's just so hard to not do something I'd regret and I don't know what to do. No one cares enough to get me antidepressants or get me the help I need. I'm begging you. Please.

[ccsmod4]

Reply: I'm 17 years old and live in North Carolina. #20

Hello,
Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

We are sorry for you loss. It can be very tough to manage losing a loved one.
You don’t deserve to be physically, verbally and emotionally abused by anyone.
Trying to cope with your mother's passing and the abuse of family members sounds like it has been very tough on you.
You deserve better.
You might reconsider hurting yourself even if you might feel that somehow it brings you some relief.

There may be other options to try and cope with your situation.
Sometimes talking things out with a counselor or therapist might help.
You mentioned an aunt coming to your rescue once when your father was hurting you.
Can you talk with her about what has been going on?
Perhaps she might offer her help or support in some way.

You have a right to be safe and you should be aware that there are child abuse laws to protect you from such actions of abuse.
To get more information about filing a child abuse report you might consider contacting Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453
You were very brave to reach out tonight.
If ever you are having thoughts of suicide contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 for support.

You did a great job explaining your situation and how it is making you feel. Good job.
NRS is here to help and here to listen. If you would like to speak more about your situation please contact 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or www.1800Runaway.org (live chat).

We hope to hear from you soon.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

hi i am turning 16 pretty soon and i am getting fed up with the bs that my parents put me through . but my main question is my parents keep arguing with me and telling me if i want i can run away or they can put me into foster care and my dad apparently gets alot of high blood pressure from me and says that he will kick me out and i want to stay with a friend but i do not want him calling the cops and then saying i ran away when he pretty much gave me permission. theres alot more going on but i dont want to get in trouble for something he said was okay to do. i just dont know what to do . help?

[ccsmod0]

Hello # 21,
Thank you for taking the time to write to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are at the end of your rope living at home with your parents are thinking about taking them up on their offer for you to leave. While we are not legal experts we cannot say what you can and cannot do. To our knowledge if your parents have given you permission to leave then you do have the right to do so but if at any point they change their mind and say that you should return then you are to do so. If you do not return home, at that point they have the right to file you as a runaway.
You sound like a really intelligent person to decide to reach out to us to get some answers. You mentioned that you parents told you that if you want they can put you into foster care. There seems to be some confusion that we want to clear up. Foster care is not really a service for children who are not getting along with their parents is it used for kids who have nowhere else to go. Foster care is only a Child Protective Service worker can place you in after they have found that your current guardians are no longer able to take care of you. If you have more questions about this or anything else that we have mentioned here please feel free to give us a call
Again, thank you for reaching out to us here and we hope this information is helpful to you. If you would like to talk further please feel free to call us anytime at 1-800-786-2929.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I am going to be 17 in may i NEED to know the legal age you can run away in north carolina. I will not go into detail but i have a very bad history with my family my dad plans on sending me to my mothers (in florida) it would help a lot if i knew the run away age in the state of florida and in noth carolina. I do not feel safe with any parent. And i have a plan for when i go to florida. I have a very close friend of mine who recently just moved down there. Her mom is willing to pick me up and let me live with her as long as i have a job while living with her. They have a house and everything and i am prepared to move in with her. I just need to know the legal age for both states. My mom will call the cops and if they doesnt work she has told me she is willing to drag me by my hair and beat me until i am in the house with her

[ccsmod2]

Hi there,

We aren't legal experts here so we don't know the exact legal ages of being adult in those states. There is no such thing as a legal age to run away, but for most places the legal age of being an adult is 18. If you leave before that, your parents might file a runaway report for you and make you go back home. If you are being abused, you would need to get some type of authorities involved if you feel your home is unstable.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

I just came out to my mother on April 1, and she did not accept me. I live in Georgia and I am about to turn 14 in April 3. She told me my life was going to be harsh, I will be treated badly by others, it will reflect on her as a parent, and does not want me to share this with anybody else, yet she said she loves me, but she isn't showing it at all. Not even in body language. My father accepts me, but wants me to continue to act like a guy. They are both worried about what their family will say, and I don't feel comfortable in my own home. I feel like running away from them, but I know I will be hunted down. They have not abused me as of right now. Would it be bad if I ran away? What state should I migrate to if I do run away? How can I prevent from my parents locating me? What should I do if I do get caught? Where can I get a job without any information like Social Security, Birth Certificate, etc?

[ccsmod2]

Hey there,

We hope that you can find some support from your mom and continue to have that from your dad. You're really brave for coming out to them and letting them know about your identity. Unfortunately, we can't tell you if running away is right for you, or help you to run away from home. Based on your age, we would imagine that running away would be difficult to do, since you most likely would not be able to work. If you do decide to leave, your parents can file a runaway report for you and make you come back home. There may not be a quick fix to leaving home, but if you would like to talk with someone for support, you can always reach out to the LGBT national hotline at 1-888-843-4564.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

I am 16 years old, I live with my mom and my sister. me and my mom argue a lot. me and my girlfriend have a plan for me to go live with her. my mom plans for us to move to Kansas in a few weeks. I don't want to move with them. I want to stay here with my girlfriend and live with her. but I'm afraid my mom wont let that happen. am I allowed to just leave home whenever I want?

[ccsmod7]

Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We’re glad you contacted us today for help. It sounds like you and your girlfriend really care about each other and it’s great that you have each other for support.

If you chose to leave home without your mom’s consent, she could file a runaway report with the police and once you were picked up, they would have to return you back home. One thing to remember is that while running away is not usually illegal, the legal adult who lets you stay with them is putting their self at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway.

It also sounds like you have a hard time having a conversation with your mom. We offer a conference call service where we can mediate a call with you and your mom; this way we can make sure that you get to say how you feel in a safe space.

We’re here to help. If you’d like to talk more about your situation, you can call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY or you can reach out to us via chat at www.1800runaway.org.

Best of luck,

NRS

[Guest]

Confused Teen

I'm 14 and i turn 15 in two days, i was adopted at the age of 7 by my aunt and uncle because my parents was so unfit , i lived with them up until last summer i started acting out when i turned 14 and i got in alot of trouble with the law, i asked my aunt and uncle if they could give me back to my dad because all me and them did was fight during that time . They said sure , so i spent the rest of the summer with my dad in south carolina . School time came around, and i had to go back to North Carolina so i could go to school and because they had legal custody . Me and My aunt and uncle continued fighting as soon as i got back , and they gave temporary custody to my dad and sent me back to South carolina . I had to start a new school , and move in all my things . well a few months later , a few things started happening and me and my father and his girlfriend was not getting along to well . things got hard , and they sent me back to my aunt and uncle in NC , i had to go back into school there and the same thing happened again . We started fighting, and i went back to my dads in SC . I stayed there for awhile things was had and i was tired of moving , towards April i wanted to leave and go back to NC . so i went back to NC and finished school there . June 9th my aunt and uncle said theyre fed up with the way i am and said theyre sending me back to my dads . I hate my dads for many reasons . He doesnt even live with me , he lives across the street with his girlfriend and i live with my grandma . I only see my dad like 30 minutes a day, sometimes he doesnt even come over here to see me. I was wondering on my options and what i can do and where i can go . I know my dad will give me premisson to go live with whoever , but if he doesnt am i stuck here?

[ccsmod7]

Hi, thanks for reaching out to us at NRS. It’s completely understandable that you would be frustrated having been moved back and forth like that. Have you thought about where you would stay if you didn’t live with your dad, aunt, or uncle? If there was an alternative living situation that you identified, your dad/legal guardian could permit you to stay there, which would be legal. At NRS, we also have a database of Transitional Living Centers in different areas where you might be able to stay that would provide shelter, safety, and support services. You are welcome to call us at (800) 786-2929 to further discuss your situation and see what resources are available to you.

Another option would be to get your custody lawyer or child services involved. If you believe you are being kicked out and neglected, you could see if your situation would qualify as abuse by contacting Child Help (800) 422-4453 who can assist with either improving your current living situation or placing you into a better living situation.

At NRS, we are available 24/7 and are completely confidential. Please do not hesitate to reach out if you would like to have the support of a liner in deciding what to do.

Best of luck,

NRS

[Guest]

Good Morning, My son just turned 15 on 7/1/17 and he wants to live with my husband and unfortunately my mother legally adopted hip 10 years ago so he lives with her. Now that he is 15 he states he don't want to live with her anymore and my mom is always complaining he is disrespectful therefore she wanted him gone. He leaves his furniture but of course he takes his clothes and shoes. Is there anything that can be done she is demanding he comes home on Friday but she is not even taking in account what he has to do! Just need help and answers please!
please respond to

[ccsmod2]

Hello,

If you have any questions about what can be done legally, you can reach out to a local legal aid agency in your area for specific information. It sounds like your son doesn't want to live there, and your mom is becoming frustrated with his behavior. If she is legally responsible for him, then any changes may need to be made through your local court.

NRS

[Guest]

sooooo. I'm 16 and I have a 18 year old boyfriend in which my mother does not like and she is determined to get him in some type of trouble for being sexually involved with me, and I admit to staying out late with him but she always makes it seem like it's he's forcing me to do these things but NO everything that I have done with him was because I asked or because I wanted to , he never ever forced me to do anything and it's about to be 3 months with him but here in NC 16 is the legal age of consent so he wouldn't get in any trouble but she is verbally abusive she always gets mad when I'm out with him and when I'm home its like I barely exist and it really irritates me so I'm almost at a point to where I jus wanna leave and not come back , I have 3 places I could go and I'm just really sick of feeling like I'm not needed here , just lack of support and care it's really stressful as a upcoming junior and just having all the cons there are coming with it , I just want to leave but I want to be able to still make appointments for myself and do things that will get me through my life until I'm 18 , would she be able to call and get the police to arrest me for leaving ? She keeps telling that she can have me charged for weed while I'm 16 too. .. can she do that ?

[ccsmod6]

Thank you for contacting NRS, we are glad you reached out to us. We are sorry to hear about your situation, it must be tough. Although we are not legal experts, we do know that running away is not a crime, so the police will not arrest you if you run away. If your mother reports to the police that you ran away, the police will search for you and get you back home. Again we are not legal experts, so we do not know about the capability of your mother charging you with weed possession. However, if she made such threats, you can report it to the police, they may able to help you better. If you need specific resources or help, please feel free to call or chat with us anytime, we are open 24/7. Our number is 1-800-786-2929, 1800runaway.org for chatting

[Guest]

hey so i'm 17 right, and i got a few questions. My parents have been threatening to kick me out for a while, I live in North Carolina. Is it illegal for them to put me on the street? And if not, what are my options after that? Also I've ran away multiple times. The most I've ever left for was about three days. I just don't really know what to think about all this and from searching the internet I'm not really finding the specific legal answers I'm looking for. I mainly want to know about the actual laws on the subject and what's legal and what's not in this scenario. Thank you, Justin.

[ccsmod16]

Hi, Justin: we're glad you reached out to us today. It's a tough situation when you parents are threatening to kick you out and you aren't sure what your options would be. We aren't lawyers here, but under most circumstances your parents are responsible for you until you are at least 18. So they can't just kick you out without creating a situation where a complaint could be made to child protective authorities in your state. If they were to follow through on the threat you could make such a complaint yourself or you could tell a teacher or someone at school and they would actually be required by law to file the complaint. Under a situation where you and your parents just cannot get along, you might want to consider an alternative living arrangement of some kind. You might also want to consider whether there are things you'd want to change in your own behavior that could make things easier on everybody. We'd be happy to talk to you about this if you want to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We're here 24/7 and the call is free and confidential.

[Guest]

I have a friend that is 16 years old and her parents abuse her and she wants to run away her dad lives in Columbia but her mom lives in Charlotte she lives with her mom but goes to Columbia for the summer both of them abuse her physically and verbally what can she do to get away from both of them I really want to help my friend because she is having suicidal thoughts anybody have any advice please help