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My Runaway Rights in North Carolina

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  • ccsmod2
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand that it takes courage to seek help. We are very sorry to hear that your parents plan on moving out of state again. It seems like you parents move quite often, that must be very frustrating and difficult to adjust. It sounds like you would like to stay in North Carolina with your friends instead of moving to Idaho with your family. You could try asking your parents if they would allow you to stay with your friends. Another option that you have is looking into emancipation laws for the state of North Carolina since you already have a job. Since you are a minor, if you decide to stay with your friends without your parent's consent, they could get charged with harboring a runaway. We hope that this information helps, please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat if you have any questions or just want to talk.



    We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey.

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think
    -NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hello, I’m 16 my parents moved me to North Carolina at age 12 from Colorado because of my dads job, had to make new friends, and make a life at our new home. We’ve had a struggle and moved twice while living here. We’ve been here for 4 years. I’m now 16 and have steady friendships. My parents now want to move to Idaho but I don’t. I want to refuse and have already planned out a place to live (with my two friends and her mom) and I have a minimum wage job at sonic. Could I refuse to go with my parents even though they want me to and live with my friends and their parent?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod10
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,

    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a bit about your situation.

    It sounds like your parents have put you in a tough situation. It must be really scary to be pregnant and knowing how your mom will react. We offer a conference calling service, between youth and their parents. If you ever wanted our help talking to your mom about moving in with your boyfriend and that you’re pregnant, we're always here to make that call with you.

    Only your legal guardian, can give you permission to move out or to report you as a runaway. If your mom does have legal guardianship of you and doesn’t give you permission to live with your boyfriend or his sister, then she can report you as a runaway. If you feel like getting out of the house is the best option and you decide to run away, we can explain what usually happens. We’re not legal experts, but from our general knowledge, running away is not illegal. If you runaway, your mom can make a runaway report. The police don't always actively look for you, if they come across you, then they usually bring you home. If you explain to them that home isn't a safe place to be, they don't always return you right away. They're supposed to investigate it first. We offer to call out to youth’s local police, with youth, to find out their protocols. You mentioned that you have a boyfriend who’s offering to take you in, we’re so glad to hear that you have someone who is supportive. Regarding him getting into trouble, there is a misdemeanor charge called “harboring a runaway”. It’s really not common and it costs money for parents to take those people to court. We rarely hear about people getting into trouble for letting a runaway stay with them.

    We also have legal aid resources in our database. While we’re not law experts, we can try to find one in your area, there may be legal ways for you to be able to move out of your house. We’re here to try to brainstorm options with you.

    We hope our response is helpful. Also, talking to school counselors and teachers about what’s going on at home could provide you with great support. You are not alone in this. You are always welcome to call into our 24/7 crisis center if you'd like to talk more about your situation.

    Be safe, NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    i am 16 years old and i am pregnant i would like to know what i can do or cant do for example, can i move without my mom’s permission because she is bot letting me and i would like to know what are the things i can do and cant do. I live in North Carolina and the baby’s dad lives in Pennsylvania i will turn 17 in november

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod0
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,
    Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you have some questions regarding if you can leave home while on probation. We want you to know that we are not legal experts so we cannot comment on what you are and are not allowed to do. The best bet would be to talk to your probation officer.
    Best wishes,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I am 18 years old in live in the state of North Carolina. My mother and I do not get along at all and she just threatens me and screams at me all the time for no reason and will take my car that isn't even in her name. I want to leave right now while she's gone to a doctors appointment in Virginia. However I am still a senior in high school and I'm on adult probation but I have someone to stay and they have an address, would I get in any trouble by the law or with probation? Could they make me return home? Do I have to go with my mom if she finds me?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod16
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello, thanks so much for posting today. You certainly have endured a lot of abuse. You do not deserve any of the abuse and neglect you experienced. You are very strong for moving on and looking for resources to help yourself.

    If you have not done so already, you certainly have the right to file an abuse report against your father. That could lead to you being removed and placed with another family member once an investigation is opened. We can conference call and help you make that report. If you would like to pursue that, call us anytime at 1-800-786-2929. Child Help is the national child abuse hotline and they can provide your local abuse reporting hotline and provide information on getting custody transferred too: 1-800-422-4453, childhelp.org.

    Even if you are not considered a legal adult (18 in most states), sometime police departments no longer accept runaway reports for 17 year olds close to 18. You can call your local non-emergency number and ask anonymously if they take runaway reports on 17 year olds. We can also conference call out with you to local police and find out how they handle situations like you being 6 months from adulthood. Even if you did leave without permission and your dad called the police and they did happen to find you, disclosing the abuse to police would open up a child protection case and you may be able to stay with another family member while that occurs.

    In regards to school, the McKinney Vento Act is to ensure all young people get an education, regardless of whether or not they live with their parents or have their consent: The National Center For Homeless Educational Helpline: 1-800-308-2145.

    We are here 24/7 by phone (1-800-RUNAWAY) and through live chat on our website as well. You are very strong for asking for help. That is really hard to do! We are here to listen and to help. Best of luck! Stay safe!









    We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: We care what you think https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think
    Last edited by ccsmod16; 04-20-2018, 02:26 PM.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi, I am a 17 year old who was abused by my father in several ways for the 6 1/2 years that I lived with him. I need to know how to continue on with my life outside of his house and make something better for myself. It got so bad that my father would not let me go to school or work on school assignments at home, I started failing all of my classes, and he gave fake "emergency" excuses to my high school to excuse my absences as he would pull me out of school for weeks. I am not one of those teenagers who goes through a phase of thinking that nothing is fair and getting fed up with my father's rules. This has been a very serious matter and I have to do what is best for my future. I am well aware that the way my father treated me was a severe case of child abuse, as he would take away my privilege to eat or go to school, for infractions such as talking to my peers about the abuse that I was experiencing in his house. Now, I would like to legally go to a new school, get a job, and continue on with my high school life without the bound of my father's abuse. Emancipation, from my legal research and consultations with professionals, is an extremely difficult path and I do not have the necessary resources to file for it. I am seeking an option for continuing on with my life without having to wait until I am 18 in 6 months. How much authority does my father have over me as a 17 1/2 year old? Would he be able to take me away from starting a new school, job, etc. and taking control of my own life? I understand that I am not a legal adult, but I have credible family members that would provide a safe place for me to live and be a part of their home. I just want my life back, my father has taken enough of it away. My mother is not so credible in the court system, so her rights were taken away and my father has placement custody. How can I move on before I turn 18? Money is not a problem, safety is not a problem. Talking to him like a human and trying to reason is not an option, as I have tried on numerous occasions. Please help with any legal information that I could use to declare my freedom as soon as possible.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod10
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you so much for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline’s forums. It sounds like you are in an incredibly difficult situation and would like to runaway from home. We just want you to know that your feelings are incredibly difficult to deal with during this frustrating time.

    If you feel the need to end your life we strongly encourage you to reach out to us directly at 1800-Runaway or to the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1800-273-8255. We can help you work through your feelings and help you (or direct you to someone who can) develop healthy coping mechanisms to deal with your feelings. We do not wish for you to end your life!

    As you likely know running away is incredibly dangerous. If you do decide to runaway, your parents could file a runaway report with the police, which means that if you are picked up by the police then you will likely be returned home to your parents, which might make your situation even worse. Additionally, if someone decides to help you runaway or let you stay with them, they can be defiantly be charged with a crime.

    One thing that might help you in your situation is to talk with someone you trust, outside of your immediate family, such as a school counselor, teacher or grandparent. These individuals know you and your needs better, so they might be able to help you. Similarly as writing this forum post, preparing and executing such a conversation is not easy. It might help to rehearse the things you want to talk about beforehand. Another resource people have tried is family/individual counseling.

    It is important to note that professional resources are often times not free and require parental permission.

    We wish you the best as you seek to resolve your situation. We will be here for you along the way. Please feel free to reach out to us by phone at 1800-runaway or through our online chat platform.

    Best wishes,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Bird Having to Leave the nest Early

    I'm currently 15 years old(in North Carolina), i wish to runaway. I am fully aware of the consciences and able to take care of myself. I want to run away because i no longer feel comfortable in my house, my mother doesn't trust me and always invades any privacy i have, my father and i were never close to begin with. The older i get the more i feel like a burden, i feel hated in the house i live in. I worry that if i stay in this house any longer , i might kill myself. I wouldn't do it to spite my parents, but to free myself from a life i no longer wish to live

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod0
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi,
    Thank you for contacting us at the National Runaway Safeline. It takes a lot of courage to reach out for help and we are glad that you decided to reach out us. It sounds like due to the advance school that you are going to you cannot seem to keep up with the work and would like to go to a more basic school. It is great that you are concerned about your education and have thought of alternative ways that you can succeed. We know that you mentioned that the classes are too advance and you are getting bad grades. Since changing schools might be an arduous task for your mother, it might be easier if you ask for her to get you a tutor. Sometimes schools already have study groups and programs. You can talk to your academic advisor about your options.
    It sounds like your depressive and anxious symptoms are starting to come back and your mother is not giving you much support. However, it sounds like going to counseling did help you until you decided to stop due to no longer having negative thoughts. Since it sounds like you were able to get some use out of counseling before, it could be worth looking into again, especially if your family can not provide you with the same support.
    You questioned what would happen if you ran away to live with a friend. We need you to know that we are not legal experts nor are we affiliated with the police so we can only speak generally about what could happen if a youth leaves home without the consent of a guardian. Leaving home without parental consent (running away) is not a crime, so the police will not arrest you. If you do leave home without permission your guardian does have the right to file a runaway report. Running away is not a crime it is a status offence (something that only a minor can get in trouble for: truancy, buying cigarettes, etc.) this means that if you have any interaction with the police they will simply return you home. On the other hand the people that you are found to be staying with could face legal consequences that vary depending on your state. You can find out more about how runaway’s reports are carried out by contacting your local police department. If you would like we could contact your local non-emergency number for you or with you. Just give us a call and one of our trained liners would be happy to assist you. 1-800-786-2929
    We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: We care what you think

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi,
    I'm a 16-year-old female in North Carolina, my parents and I don't always see eye to eye. My mom is always getting on my case for bad grades and when I try to talk to her about switching to a different school so I can succeed in school she tends to get very upset. The school I currently go to is very accelerated and we take college classes, I feel that this is just not the right fit for me. However I would still like to go to high school and get good grades and graduate. Another thing is that because of this school I get really bad anxiety, I have horrible panic attacks in the middle of the night. I also have depression, I used to go to counseling but I stopped once we moved and because I was no longer having depressive thoughts but recently it has come back. With all of this my mom still doesn't care she tells me that I need to grow up and to "F**k my feelings" I don't have a very close relationship with my dad, we don't really talk and when we do I tend to get very intimidated and uncomfortable. I would like to fix the situation but don't really know how so running away seems like a better option at the moment. If I ran away and went to my friends house in Tampa, Florida what would happen? I have looked up how I would get to her house everything is already planned out the only issue is my parents and the police. I'm turning 17 in July.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi,
    Thank you for contacting us at the National Runaway Safeline. It takes a lot of courage to reach out for help and we are glad that you decided to reach out us.

    We are sorry to hear that you going through such a hard and overwhelming time. It is not ok for anyone to physically or emotionally hurt you. It sounds like your home is not a safe place to be in. If your life is danger or if you are in a situation where you might get hurt you can always call 911. Taking pictures of any physical abuse marks and recording audio or video of these incidence can also be helpful to prove in the court. It sounds like you have already tried but Child Help USA can help you provide more information about abuse report and how to file one. They can be contacted at 1-800-422-4453.

    While we are not legal experts, generally speaking if you are to run away from home without your parents’ permission and a police report is filed the police can bring you back home and whoever you are staying with could be charged with harboring a runaway. Running away can be hard in many situations. You might want to think about where you might stay and how you might pay for food and other living expenses.

    All of this can be really stressful and overwhelming and we are here to help you through this hard time. If it might be an option for you, you could call us at our 24 hour confidential hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) and we would be happy to listen to you and explore your options and provide any resources. We wish you the best and hope to hear from you soon.
    We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: We care what you think https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

    Best,
    NRS
    Last edited by ccsmod15; 04-06-2018, 01:32 AM.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Im 14 gonna be 15 in less the 4 months & Living in Rowan Co. NC Now

    I along with my 2 siblings where Stolen from my birth mother only to be put with my extemely abusive step grandpatents

    Ok a bit of back history I was living with my mom and 2 siblings and step dad.
    Well in 2007 my step dad rejoined the military and in June my mom let my sisters and I go stay with pur grandparents (at this point where not being abusive) for the whole summer. While we stay with our grandparents my step grandmother called DSS every other day through out June all the way into Aug when on Aug 14 she drove us girls to where my mom was and where my step dad was at to spend my sisters 3rd birthday and when we where staying at the hotel since dad was on leave she waited till the afternoon of the 15th to call DSS in Davie Co NC and told them that we where back in NC that my grandmother in NY sent us back to NC (we where never in NY) She lied to Dss all summer to get them to build a case against my mom telling them that I was hiding the kids in NC somewhere and then took off to NY with us girls. She told them lie after lie of abuse that never happen and drug abuse that was never going on. (Since step grandma was friends with the dss worker she believed eveything that was said) Well Aug 15 dad called his mother only person who knew where we where at. and filled her in and let he know that mom was taken us to NY to see our grandparents for about 3 weeks and then going to return back to NC so we could see him leave for Korea in Sept. Well step grandma did not like that one bit and was angry and pissed off and called Dss and lied to them yet again. All because she did not want mom to take my 3year old sister out of state cause she claimed she would never see her again and told Dss she feared for her grandchildrens safety.

    Jump ahead to what they put me through (I am the oldest of the 3 of us) Step grandparents would force me to do exteme exercises and if I did not do them how they wanted or count them out loud i was hit with a fly swatter or a wooden spoon in the face ( she pulled us out of public school and claimed she was home schooling us) I along with my baby sister where beat repeatly even hit with a wiffle ball bat and when we fell to the ground I was kicked.
    When I was 8y.o. my step grandfather was home watching me while my 7 and 6 year old sister where sent to day care for the valentines party and step grandma was at work well step grandfather forced me to strip naked completely and would not allow me to get dressed in any clothes cause he said I was stealing all his stuff, it wasnt until step grandmother called the house and he told her what he was doing and she told.him to make me get dressed. I have been locked up in my room for days on end with out food and only allowed out to use the bathroom and then locked up again. They have the food locked up so we can eat more then we are given witch is not much at all. My little sister will steal and hide food when noone is home and we get left alone for hours on end. The house phone is locked in the grandparents bedroom almost all the time so no one can use it. Step grandma pays my little sisters to lie to anyone who asked them about the abuse in the home (my middle sister calls it her grandma's truth money)
    Rowan Co. Dss eventually got in volved in 2014 and closed out the case pretty much the same day.
    Well with Dss closing out the case like they did the abuse got worse over the years and once they where informed of the abuse again in the beging of Sept 2017 the Supervisor told the person that reported they needed to mind their own business. Well now that im finally back in public school, the end of Sept 2017 the school reported to dss I showed up with 2 black eyes and they already had several reports pryor to the school filing a report with them.
    My step grandpatents have attempted to hold me down and dump alocoh down my throat, I was beat with a belt from my shoulders down to my legs leaving bruises.
    Both of my step grandparents have hit me so hard in the mouth it broke the brackets on my braces and then made me lie to my orthodontist and tell him I was hit in the mouth by a basketball.
    They have both threaten me along with their other son that if they get arrested for the abuse I better be ready with a meat wagon and body bag waiting cause I will need it. Then my step uncle threaten me and told me I wont have to worry about them he will hunt me down and do it himself. They take mine and my siaters SSI checks and spend it on them self and then turn around and pay all my step uncles bills for the house (trailer home) step grandma bought for him to live in with our checks. Im made to wear clothes that are donated to us girls from people She works with cause they feel sorry she for her having to raise us girls and thing highly of her for take us in cause she told people my mom was a drug addict, told other people my mother beat us and forced us to like animals (all of witch is a lie) We where far from abused we where loved and wanted and spoiled rotten. Our punishment was a time out stool mom had. Our house was almost always cleaned unless us kids went through and tracked toys everywhere. She had a gate up to keep us out of the kitchen area so we didnt get burn by the stove ect.. We lived in a 2 story house our 3 bedrooms and moms was upstairs also, where up stairs and there where 2 more bedrooms down stairs and another room that she made into a storage room.!!!! (There is more abuse then what am posting. Like the beating my baby sister took from grandma even when Dss was involved and Grandma temping to try and burn down the house and thought my step dad and 2 sisters where asleep but dad got it before it could catch and spread. Not the first time she burned down a house she lived in just this one was caught before it could burn it down)
    Step grandma finally after telling us kids all kinds of lies over the years about my mom about how she never loved us or wanted us and that mom was in prison for neglect and not loving us and drugs
    Rowan Co. Dss worker (1st worker from End of Sept 2017) went to her supervisor and request a pull order and the supervisor denied her everytime she went to get one. The supervisor claimed there was not enough abise or proof to pull us girls instead after several months we had a sit down at dss with my mom there and mom recorded the whole meeting. I was promised visits with my mom (I was alowed to go see here for 6 days durning christmas break) Dss brought up they wanted my little sister put in public schooling and Grandma was to take online parenting classes. Never made the step grandfather do anything never even talked to him one time at all! My step dad came to the meeting also he told the workers he had just returned to NC and was finally moving back here and he was going to be taken over the home schooling of my 2 little sister and he was also moving over to my step grandparents land in Mocksville NC to live and was offically back to stay. That was a lie also he left 2 days after Easter back to Portland Oregon and once Step grandmother recieved the papers from Dss closing out the 2 open cases on her and my step grandfather.
    She has told me now that my step dad is gone and Im not faking being happy that she was going to allow me to leave the house and I would never see my mom again till I was 18 and in college or living in my own place.

    The Lawyers and cops and Courts and Dss in NC Exspecailly Rowan and Davie are very corrupt. The last time the worker came to school to speak to ke she tols me if their is any abuse to just call the cops because there was nothing Dss can do.

    Since no one is wanting to help me or my sisters I plan to run away once I turn 15 maybe a month before. I can not take being in a house where im put down beat on called retarded and threaten and have everything taken from me and broke or thrown in the trash cause Step grandparents dont think I deserve anything at all.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod3
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thanks for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline and sharing a little bit about what is going. It takes a lot of courage to reach out and especially in a time where you have a really tough and complex situation. We are sorry you are experiencing getting yelled at every day. You don’t deserve that.
    It can be difficult to know how to talk to your parents about being gay and express how you are feeling about how they treat you. We would encourage you to reach out to a trusted adult, teacher, relative, and friend that you can talk to and potentially help you mediate a conversation with your parents about your current situation. At NRS, we do offer a service call conference calling, where you can call into our hotline and then we would reach out to your guardian and help advocate for you, help you express the needs of to your parents. Some resources to reach out to may be the LGBT National Hotline 1-888-843-4564.

    You mentioned having suicidal thoughts multiple times. Your mental health is important. You can also look at SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) at samhsa.gov or call them directly at 1-877-726-4727 to help you find the support that you need. If you do ever feel in direct danger, to yourself, or some else makes you feel that way, please call out to 911 or reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255)

    We aren’t legal experts, but we have general knowledge about running away. In most states, running away isn’t illegal, but what is called a status offense. You can’t get arrested for it but it will mostly likely go on your record until you are 18. The police will only know if you have runaway if your parents/guardians file a police report. We can’t say for sure how the police will respond, but we hear a lot that police will take potential places you might be and will actively search for you. If they come across you, the most likely will return you home to your parents. Sometimes we hear that if you are staying with someone who knows you are a runaway and are not actively trying to return you or finding shelter for you, your guardians can press charges against the people who are housing you, with something that is called harboring. One of our main goals is to make sure you are safe, so you ever seriously decide to run away and need shelter, resources, or a safe place to go you can find safe locations at nationalsafeplace.org or reach out to us directly and we can find local resources in your area.

    Another thing that you can do is look into emancipation, where you can have the right of an adult. We aren’t legal experts but in general, if you want to become emancipated you would need to show that you can support yourself through a source of income, that you still go to school, and can live on your own.

    We are here for you and will support you in anyway that we can. Please feel free to call into us directly as we can talk further about your situation and find resources that are best for you in your are. Stay strong and you are not alone in this! Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY we are open 24/7.

    We hope this response was helpful! We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey.

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think
    -NRS
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