My Runaway Rights in North Carolina

[Ginger_King1798]

I'm 17 and live in North Carolina. Due to certain events I had to move in with my dad approx. 8 years ago. Over the years things have been okay, but some things I have gotten tired of. My dad never lets me go out and hang out with friends, do sports at school, or even work. He has let up recently,but just as quick he has tightened up. I got a few bad grades in one of my classes and he went off the deep end. Not only because of that, but because was irritated by events between him and my mom along time ago. It's an extremely long story, but I'm sick of the, for lack of a better word, bull-********. He has taken all of my valued possessions and won't let me have them back until I move out and are supporting myself. He won't let me participate in extra curricular activities at school. Also, he is now forcing me to do bad in my other classes by not allowing me to participate in MANDATORY events for a grade using the excuse that "You didn't care about doing bad in History, I mean all it is is reading and comprehension." Like he freak'n knows. He didn't even finish high school ( he's 53 BTW). He continues to treat me like dirt. There have been a number of other things that have happened, but I don't feel like typing it all out. He won't let me complete my Driver's Education. After talking at school to my friends, they have suggested running away, so that's why I'm here. I don't want to just opt and leave, I want to take a civilized and organized approach to the situation. I plan to move in with either a friend or move into a low income apartment near my school. I also plan to have a job close-by. I want to know what I can and can't do, not the usual bs telling me not to run away or giving me a lot of phone numbers to call. I want answers. Please help me.

[ccsmod8]

RE: My Runaway Rights in North Carolina

Hello Ginger King –

Thanks you taking the time to reach out to the National Runaway Safeline. We are always here to help and here to listen. From what you have told us about your situation it sounds like you’re going there a very difficult time right now. No one deserves to be treated that way that, you should definitely be able to be comfortable in the house you are living in. To better help you, let’s break things down a little about your current situation.

Unfortunately, here at the NRS we cannot tell you in definite terms on what would happen for someone at the age of 17 years old to run away. Laws on that specific subject vary from state to state, so our advice would be call your local non-emergency police number to get more information on that. What typically happens though; your father has the right as your legal guardian, is able to make a runaway report in the event that you do run away, since in most states the age of majority is 18 years and over. Since it’s only considered a statues offense the only thing that would happen is that the police will pick you up and bring you back home or hold you until certain arrangements can be made to come pick you up. Again this does depend on your specific state laws and police policy. There are some cases how are of the local police not taking run away reports for youth that are 17 years old because they see them as adults already. Especially if they are close to turning 18 soon.

It sounds like you have given a lot of thought in to what you want to do in your situation though. If you were to run away, what kinds of things do you think that your father would do? What is your overall plan (i.e. housing, transportation, financial stability, school options etc)? We know that you have stated that you were thinking about moving into a low income house apartment near your school. It might be a great idea to do a little research about moving into a low income place because sometimes for those places there is a waiting list of people that have applied months or years before hand to get placed. And to rent an apartment in general sometimes require you to have good credit to be able to sign the lease to move in and have enough money to pay the application fee, down payment, and the first and last month’s rent right then and there. So these are some things to keep in mind when you’re thinking about places to stay when you leave.

[Unregistered]

I'm tired of my family

In tired of my family,hi I'm 12 years old and live in North Carolina I recently moved in with my dad about 9 months ago.at the beginning of me moving in he was chill and I could hang out with friends and things but recently he has been going off the hook he would be getting drunk every night and he smokes pot.one night I got really mad at him and went outside in the cold rain cause I was and he told me to come inside and I refused he started chasing me but I was to fast and he fell and tripped over a puddle when I was running I was scared half to death cause I did not know what was going to happen when he caught me. My parents split up about 2 years ago and when they were together my dad used to beat me and give me welts and he choked my mom once. But the reason I moved out of my moms house is because she got mad at me for no reason called her boyfriend in there he grabbed me by my ankles and threw me to the ground, my mom say on top of me and held my arms down yelling in my face who do u think u are!?!?. I used all of my strength to push her off and I was yelling at her to get off cause I couldn't breath! I finally got her off and ran out side but while all This was happening my brother was sitting there laughing at me and telling me to chill like I will not chill when I can't breath!. But recently at my dads house I got into trouble for almost fighting and my grades suck so he grounded me and I have a funeral to go to and he told me to bad for u! That reall peed me off! So now I'm thinking about running away I have a place to stay at my friends house with food and water, but she lives down the road from my dad....so how would that work but if u have advice on what I can do plz help me. But the reason I don't wanna go back to my mom cause like rn me and her are on good terms but I just don't want to go back to the environment cause her boyfriend also smokes pot. But I don't understand why my mom is still with him cause the first night I stayed there with him my sister who is 17 was with a fiend and my brother who is 16 was with a friend btw my mom treats my brother like gold. But anyways the first night I stayed there he pushed her to the ground and stood there looking at her.. And I really hate violence because when I was little my mom used to get beat by my dad every night and slapped and things (don't know why my mom stayed with him till 2 years ago) but if someone could help me figure this out that would be greAt.thx

[ccsmod9]

RE: I’m tired of my family

Hello,

Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

It sounds like there’s a lot going on at home. We want to commend you for having the courage to reach out to us today. That can be very hard to do. It shows how mature you really are for sticking up for yourself.

First of all, since you mentioned abuse, we want to tell you that abuse of any kind is NOT ok and is NEVER your fault. You have the right to call the police any time you feel unsafe in your home. If you want to report any abuse at any time, you can certainly call in here at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) and we can walk you through it, or you can visit www.childhelp.org for more information.

You mentioned that you might feel like running away. It’s great that you have such supportive friends that would let you come and stay with them in this time of crisis. We should warn you that although running away is not a crime, your father has the right to file a runaway report with the police if you don’t come home when you’re supposed to. The police would then be able to bring you back home to him. Sometimes whoever you’re saying with can be charged with “Harboring a Runaway”, which is generally a fine but can be more severe depending on the situation. This might be good to keep in mind since you said your father lives close to the friend you’d want to stay with.

Since there is so much going on, it might be helpful to call us here to discuss this situation in more detail. We just want to make sure you’re safe and have a plan for any course of action you end up taking. If you’re unable to call in, you could try our Live Chat on this website.

Best of luck in this difficult time,

NRS

[Unregistered]

Re: My Runaway Rights in North Carolina

I am 16 years old turning 17 this summer. My parents divorced 3 years ago and I was court ordered to live with my father and follow a visitation schedule. My mother lives in Georgia while me and my Father live in North Carolina. I dont want to go to her house because she is neglectful and verbally abusive which is part of the reason why the courts declared her an unfit mother and had us move in with our father. Me and my father have been trying to figure out ways in which i wont have to go, but since its court ordered he can not out right say I dont have to go, or it would be contempt of court. He says he can let me spend time at my boyfriends for the weekend before and that I can refuse to come home,and he could put in a runaway report, he doesnt believe the police will force me to come home, but i really dont want to go to my moms and I also dont want to get him or his parents in trouble for "harboring a runaway". What should I do, and who could I ask?

[ccsmod15]

Re: My Runaway Rights in North Carolina

Hi there,
Thanks for reaching out to us at NRS. We’re sorry to hear that you are going through such a frustrating situation. That must be tough to deal with a mother who is emotionally abusive. It’s great that you seem to have a good relationship with your father.
It’s possible that your father might be able to get the terms of the custody agreement revised. Since you are close to being an adult, a judge might be very interested in hearing what you have to say about your concerns about your mother. Have you and your father considered getting legal advice about this issue? We’d be happy to put you in touch with some legal experts in your area.
As for the police, each department words differently. When a runaway report is filed, they will usually attempt to find the youth and return them home. The only way to know for sure what your local police department will do in this situation is to contact them and ask. You can call the non-emergency number for your local department and ask about their policies on 17 year old runaways.
Also, have you tried communicating your feelings to your mom? Perhaps it is possible that the two of you can find a way to work through some of these issues. We’d be happy to do a conference call with both of you.
It sounds like you are a very mature and responsible person. It’s great that you’re trying to figure out the impact before taking any actions. We’d be happy to talk through some options with you. Please give us a call at 1800Runaway. We’re here to listen 24/7.
Take care,
NRS

[Unregistered]

Girlfriend

My girlfriend was recently kicked out of her mothers house for personal reasons. At first her mom called her a runaway but she was kicked out. Her father was in jail at the time so I picked her up and took her back to my house. She is 17 years old and is about to turn 18 in 2 weeks. I live in North Carolina and I have called the local police station. Her dad is very abusive and not in any type of condition to be taking care of her. She doesn't feel safe at all at his house. He is threatening to call the police to try to force her to come back. My question is, could he press charges? Even though she is 17 she is very close to being 18. She does not feel safe with at her dads house as he is a very angry and abusive person. He is in and out of jail and hospital also.

[ccsmod4]

Reply: Girlfriend

Hello,
Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

It sounds like you already contacted the police about the situation and that’s good on your part.
The police may also be able to provide the information to your girlfriend or you about any charges being brought forth by her father. From what you said in your post he is known to be abusive and has been in out of jail. There may even be a case for your girlfriend filing a child abuse report since it sounds like both parents have allegedly put her at risk.
To get information about where to file a child abuse report you she can contact: Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453

You said will be turning eighteen soon.
Depending on the time frame of her turning eighteen the police might not try and force her to return home.
One option of service that we offer at NRS is conference calling.
We can contact the local police and ask any questions she might have about her legal status. We can also assist with filing a child abuse report.
How does that sound?

NRS crisis line is available 24hrs at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929).
We also have live chat at www.1800Runaway.org

You both are welcome to call and speak more about your situation.
You did great by reaching out tonight.
We hope that things work out positively for your girlfriend.
She deserves to feel safe.

Take Care,
NRS

[Unregistered]

Re: My Runaway Rights in North Carolina

so I am 16 years old. And last night I had a talk with my parents. I went into foster care for four years and got adopted. I am not with living with m adoptive parents. Ever since I was 13 and I came to tem we never had a good relationship and so when ever sine I've been here she has been telling me that I can leave when im 16 years old and that once I leave I cant come back so first question is isn't that considered getting permission from them saying I can go.?? so she said that I may leave on my own free will so now that I am ready to go I know she has the right to call the cops so she said I need to be ready for the cops to come get me but she said she doesn't care if I leave so if I leave what would happen??

[ccsmod6]

Re: My Runaway Rights in North Carolina

Hello and thank you for writing to us here on the NRS online forums. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home with or without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may later choose to file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. Even if you are given permission to leave, your legal guardian is legally responsible for you until you reach the legal age of majority in your state or they transfer rights to you through emancipation or someone else for temporary guardianship. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions about what may happen as well as what your rights are.

We are here as support. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

We wish you the best,

NRS

[Dawn]

Hello!

Hello, I'm 16 Female from NC and I'm currently getting slightly abused by my father, and when I was living with my mother I was getting slightly abused too. I really didnt do much about it because I didn't really care, I know some people have worse situations than me but when the only father I have slaps me to the ground calls me a **********, and then throws a glass at me, I get a little bit fed up with it. So I want to just leave my house for a while, just get away for a bit. Maybe even just one night. But when I ask to stay at my friends he automatically says no. He won't tell me why he won't let me he will just scream no in my face. So I'm wondering how long I can leave before he can call the cops to find me, and what would happen to the person harboring me. I don't want anyone arrested for something I do, and them just trying to help. Thank you!

[ccsmod3]

Re: Hello!

Often, youth may reach out to NRS in several different ways to discuss their situation. If a response from NRS is not visible on the forum thread, it may be that we have already provided services to that individual through another platform we provide such as email, our crisis hotline, or our live chat service (in operation every day through our website at 1800runaway.org). NRS encourages anyone in need of assistance to contact us through our 24 hour crisis hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY to receive immediate support.

[Unregistered]

My Runaway Rights in North Carolina

Hello im 15 years old and im living with my mom. me and her argue a lot. i understand there are people who go threw worse than me but i still cant take it here.
it used to be worse where i had to call DSS on my mom but this year its better. she keeps fussing at me and accusing me of stuff i didnt do.
its hard to try to keep my grades up and focus at home and make sure i do every little thing she ask. i have two younger brothers and im basically their mother
i have to watch them all the time and make sure i take care of them. i understand she has to work but the days she off im still watching them and doing
things for her that she could be doing. she calls me slow stupid sometimes.we just dont get along and i know that i could get sent right back to her by the police and
that who ever is holding me in their house could get charged but i really just want to leave. i seen you guys have a shelter but thats all the way in Chicago
and im in Charlotte NC. most of my friends know what me and my mom go threw. i can never really be happy or go to school or focus. i can ever do anything right according to her
i feel like she doesnt care about my feelings she yells before she sit down and talk to me. i have a grandma and a friend who allow me to come stay but i just dont know what to do
I WANT TO LEAVE THIS HOUE even if i have to be placed in a foster home

[ccsmod0]

Re: My Runaway Rights in North Carolina

Hello,
Thank you for taking the time to write to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.
We are sorry to hear of the rough time that you are having at home with your mother. It is understandable that all of that negativity is affecting your school work. You sound like a really mature person to be taking care of your siblings the way that you are. Not a lot of people can say that they can handle the stress of going to school and raising two younger siblings. You mentioned that you want to leave, and that you are located in Charlotte, NC. We can look into shelter options for you but we have to let you know that unless there is some evidence of abuse or neglect at home then most shelters are required by law to contact a guardian.
An easier option might be for you to talk to your mom about going to stay with one of your friends. Maybe one of the ones that you mentioned, who knows what you and your mom go through. If this is a possibility then perhaps you can consider using our conference calling service, this is a service where you would call us and we would hold a conference call between you and your parents to talk about how both sides are feeling. We would serve as mediators, we are not here to necessarily choose sides but rather help come up with a solution that would make the situation at home better. This might be helpful to you if you have concerns about your mother not listening or not being open to hear what you have to say. If you feel like this is a service that you would find useful you can give us a call and one of our trained liner will be happy to assist you.
1-800-RUNAWAY

[Unknown]

Emotionally, Mentally, Psychologically hurt

I'm 17 years old. I live in North Carolina. Me and my parents we fight over little things and then it becomes a big issue. I live in a trailor and me and my parents share one room. Tonight I got fed up with it because I was watching my favorite drama and they already know I don't like it when they continue it without me but they did so anyways. I went and stopped it and turned off the T.V. I went to the room me and my parents share and locked the door because I got pissed. Before I locked to door I got my moms keys and put it outside the door but I didn't know that my moms keys didn't have a bedroom key. They were yelling at me and I thought they would open but then my mom yelled at me and said that she didn't have keys to the room. I didn't say anything and just opened the door. As my mom kept lecturing me or using words of slander I kept my mouth shut because I knew if I had said something else it would be worse. My mom said something to me that hurt me a lot though.....she said "It would of been better if I didn't give birth ro you." I spoke up then and said "At least I'm not out late of the house real late and at least I'm home." My dad said "who cares what you do? Go ahead I don't care. I can Just relax better and have a better life without you. Less problems anyways. Go ahead.".....both of my parents basically are saying they would be better without me. If I'm probably that bad I guess it's the best to run away so they won't worry anymore. If I run away they'll have less problems. If I run away there won't be any more arguments with me. If I run away they both can relax. If I run away they can have a better life. Its the best for all of us.