I'm 14 and I want to move out

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. Your mom's actions sound really hurtful and she should not be threatening to send you out in the cold!

It seems like she may not realize the immense impact of her words when she lashes out like this. It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your family so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

Stay safe,
NRS

We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

hi i am 14 years old and yesterday my mom wanted me to do something so i did something and she got upset because i messed up on accident and she got really mad so i was like okay let me just let her calm down so after that 20 min later i ad to pick up my sister n brother toys she started yelling an i mumbled to myself and then she kept being mean to me and saying she hated me and how am i still breathing and i cried and she did not care and she kept saying i want you to live with ur grandma or either u can sleep in the snow outside and freeze cuz i dont care so i was like thats rude and i be scared to tell her i want to leave because shes so mean to me and i feel like she never wanted me to be born at all i just wanna be happy ........ thats all i want..

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

idk i hate evryone i wanna leave this house

[ccsmod13]

Hi, we are glad you reached out for help; it takes a lot of courage to ask for help. Your home life sounds very stressful and unstable. You deserve a safe place to grow up and a home life that is consistently safe for you. It makes sense that you thought of two choices with suicide and running away. It is hard to see other choices when you have been going from one emotionally unsafe moment to another with your Mom and the rest of your family. The pressure on you sounds immense and you probably feel like there is no end in sight. We are glad you seem to have taken suicide off your list of options. As much as your home life issues seem unsolvable right now, these family problems are not permanent.

Running away with your cousin might be a good solution, but it might not be long term enough for your needs. We would like to talk with you about all your options to get a safer and more consistently supportive home. The best way for us to do that is to talk with you directly either on a chat through our website or on a phone call through our crisis hotline at 1 (800) RUNAWAY. Both are available 24/7 and are completely confidential.

We want to make sure you have a plan that works for you, considers all your options/resources, and that is safe. We are a non-directive agency-that means we don’t tell you what to do but we help you come up with a plan that feels right for you. We also will help you get in touch with and use the resources in your area. If you are feeling suicidal you can always call our hotline at 1 (800) RUNAWAY or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1 (800) 273 8255. You can also always call 911 and they will get you immediate help. We hope to hear from you soon. Good luck.

Hello, im 14 and i have issues with my mom. I feel guilty for everything i do or say. EVERY DAY me and my mom argue, and there are times when my dad defends me but my mom ends up arguing with him and this was a situation thats been happening my whole life. Ever since i was little my mom would lock me up in a closet if i did something bad or hit/ slap me even with a belt. When i hit 10 i started feeling suicidal and alone, my mom had started cheating on my dad and when he found out they got in a big fight and my whole family was involved and they started asking me questions or take me to a place to have a private talk. I had started to experience anxiety in this time and i still do now.when ever my mom yells at me i cry when im alone or try to defend myself but i still end up crying. Ive started to notice how im sensitive about everything someone says about me but i try to hide it. It wasnt until i was 12 my mom got mad at me and got a leather whip. Fortunately i got away and locked myself, this is where i was stuck between 2 decisions, suicide or runaway. I texted my cousin and best friend and both told me to calm down and talk through it. I ended up getting hit with no forgiveness and i knew i couldn't trust her because she told me she wasnt going to hit me, and she told the whole family everything bad about me. I was glad i had my cousin as sometone to tell my feelings and things i had gone through since she went though it before. I had then started losing the feeling to sleep and i sayed up at night crying or even overthink situations i had gone thought the day or just stay up all night on my phone. Everytime my mom comes home i start feeling anxious like when if i did something wrong, or if i had forgotten to do something. EVERYTHING had overwhelmed me and i was starting to stress out too much and i realized i was so sensitive about eveting. When i was 13 i started being insecure because my mom could call me fat and tell me i should stop eating, or i should lose weight to be like other kids. My cousin is about to be 18 and im 14 we are both planing to escape together when things go rough for both of us and im starting to think, if i gain to much pressure later im gonna lose myself...

[ccsmod3]

Hi there! Thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we're glad you took that step.

It definitely sounds like you've been through a lot, and we're sorry to hear that. Adjusting to such significant changes can be tough, especially when we don't necessarily understand the rationale behind them (like mom and stepdad's relationship). During these times, and really just in general, having someone you trust to talk to can be helpful. If you're open to it, connecting with a therapist or a social worker might help you work through some of the challenges that you're experiencing at home, including some of those major feelings that have caused your panic attacks. Having that listening ear and support from someone can really be helpful, and if it's something you're open to, we'd be happy to try and connect you with some local therapy services in your area.

You mentioned mom slamming you against a wall and stepdad touching you in a way that seems to make you uncomfortable. If you feel as though you are at risk of being physically hurt, it might be a good idea to reach out to Child Protective Services and file an abuse report. Their job is to ensure that you're safe in your home, and if you're not, to decide what steps should be taken in order to make sure that you are. If this is something that you're interested in doing, you can file a report on your own, by contacting us here at NRS for support, or by telling a safe person of the abuse (like a teacher, school counselor, therapist, etc.). Each person that I've listed is considered a Mandated Reporter and has a legal obligation to contact CPS when there are any suspicions or indications of abuse.

As you continue to think through things and decide on next steps, know that we're here for you. If you want to chat through your situation in more detail, discuss your options, or learn more about filing an abuse report with CPS, you can reach out to us directly by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY or by chatting with us live at www.1800runaway.org. We're available 24/7 and are always happy to listen, and to help.

Take care.

NRS

I want to run away or move out (I'm 14). My mom is literally psycho. She comes home everyday annoyed and/or upset about what happened at work and brings it out on me. I'm done with being mistreated. Her and I get in fights frequently. It's always difficult. My dad is a raging alcoholic so my mom got custody of me. About 4 years ago she got married to my step father. Him and I are on and off. He acts like all I do is upset my mom and I don't belong here. I've seen his private parts because my ipad wasn't working. I used his laptop and there was literally a picture of his behind and a could see a little bit of his testicles. I for real thought he was gay and cheating on my mom. Turns out he was just sending it to himself which I find unusual. He slaps my behind infront of my mom and my mom doesn't even care! Keep in mind he's 50 now. My mom just turned 40. Literally a 10 year difference which is absolutely disgusting. It's not like he has money or is good looking. It's just weird to think about. I had a panic attack the other night because I thought my mom didn't want me anymore and all I do is disappoint my family. I ended up cutting my wrists and throwing up. I told my mom and she took tacks, scissors, etc. out of my room. I think it was a good idea. Once her and I got into a huge fight because I did something I do regret she slammed me against the wall. I did call the Child Abuse Hotline but in the middle of it my step dad walked in on me and I had to hang up. If I could go anywhere it would be to my grandparents. I lived there when my dad lived there until my mom got custody. I went to school there from 5th to the middle of 6th grade so if I'd go back then I'd know a good amount of people. When I told my grandma I wanted to move in with her she said, "You're always welcome here." I'm not sure if she meant for me to just come over anytime or to live there. If my mom was to lose custody I would go to my other grandparents or foster care.

[ccsmod15]

Hello,

Thank you ever so much for reaching out to us. We are so sorry to hear that the situation at home with your mom has gotten so challenging. It sounds like you no longer believe that living with your mom is the best option, but you are uncertain of where to go or what to do about everything going on. Please know that we are here to support you.

In your message, you discuss how you and your mom get along, and that in some ways, being locked in the house because of the pandemic has made some of the things going on at home between you and your mom worse. It sounds like both you and your mom struggle to communicate with each other, and hurtful things have been said. If this is something you feel you may want to address, it may help to reach out to a therapist or counselor so that they can help you and your mom discuss everything that has been going on at home. If you need help finding that kind of support, you can reach out to us, and we will do our best to try to find a resource that can support you. It sounds like she places a lot of blame on you and this makes it tough for you to want to stay, and has led you to consider suicide. Please know that organizations like the Suicide Prevention Lifeline, available 24/7 by phone at 1.800.273.TALK (8255), online at http://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/# , are there if want someone to talk to when you start thinking about suicide.

You also discuss the possibility of running away, but you have concerns about where you would go. If you are looking for a safe place, one option might be to explore whether you have any family in the area that you could stay with. If this is the case, they may be able to help you talk to your mom about why you need to live away from her. We are not legal experts, but from what we understand, if you choose to leave without consent and you are a minor in your state, your parent/legal guardian can report you as a runaway to your local police department. Typically, if local police find you, they return you home or have your parent/legal guardian pick you up. If you do not believe you have a relative or a friend that can provide you a safe place to stay, please feel free to reach out to us. We are here to listen, and if you would like, can see if there are youth shelters in your area. Whatever you decide, know that we are here to support you. We cannot tell you what to do, but we will do our best to help you stay safe as you explore your options. You can reach us 24/7 by phone at 1.800.RUNAWAY (786.2929) or via chat by visiting our website https://www.1800runaway.org/ and clicking on the CHAT option. We are here to listen, here to help. Stay safe!
-NRS

Hi, I'm 14 and turning 15 this year. I feel like I'm doing everything wrong. I always give my mom stress and so many problems. My mom had a boyfriend before her currant one, but they had a lot of fights and most of them was because of me. I'm not the best child and I often talk back if I don't agree with something and snap sometimes. I also would stay out late before this whole COVID thing happened. Now, I'm locked at home and I think some problems got worse. My mom sometimes tells me that she hates me if I make a bad mistake and I feel like she just hates me. She only says that she loves me if I say it first. She also says that I'm the main reason for her headaches. I can't take it anymore. I just don't know what to do. I've tried to kill myself before, but couldn't do it. I feel like if I run away, I'll stop stressing her out but I just don't know. I don't really trust anyone and I don't have anywhere to go if I do run away. My mom has a new boyfriend and I'm afraid of ruining this relationship too. Please help me.

[ccsmod0]

Hi there,

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

We hope to hear from you soon.

Be safe, NRS

So I’m 14 and I just want to run away from my family I love them but I hate them. Sometimes there are days where I feel happy and reunited with them and then most of the days i feel alone on hostile territory of eternal arguing. I’m stressed. I have a little brother that’s a trouble maker and everything that he does is MY FAULT. I wish he was never born and maybe things would be back to normal how it was 6 years ago. And now I’m even more stressed because my old bro left and has made my mom and dad angrier. I have to cook, clean, and take care of my brother, home school him, and do my work. If I don’t do it right I get yelled at, called useless, be compared, get my phone taken away. I can’t take it anymore. I feel like I’m in a prison I can’t go anywhere because of COVID. Nothing is the same anymore. Family has changed. I don’t do enough I feel like I want to get rid of them (not kill them or anything just keep them away) I want to grab my cat, my belongings and just go and never come back. I miss my old life. I haven’t been out often. No parties. Going out. I’m stuck here being called useless and getting yelled at while my parents get a meltdown. I feel anxious when they come home because I’m scared I didn’t clean well enough. My mom comes back home at 5 pm and my dad leaves sometimes days, or till night. I’m home with a kid who won’t respect me and gives me a headache, anger, chest pressure and sometimes blackouts. I feel like nothing is working nothing is how it was and I’m all alone. No one to talk to except my cat.

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. You mentioned that you were sexually abused when you were younger and that your mom never fully followed up on legal proceedings. His actions were unacceptable and you deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. It can be really hard to deal with this alone and sometimes it’s helpful to reach out to additional agencies for support. One really great resource for all survivors of sexual assault or abuse is RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network). You can call them any time 24/7 at 1-800-656-4673, or go to www.rainn.org to use their online hotline. RAINN is the National Sexual Assault Hotline and has a lot of services, support and resources that you may find helpful.

You mentioned friends and grandparents as potential alternate living arrangements but don't seem too certain that those situations would work out. If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

Stay safe,
NRS

We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

I live with my mom and 3 brothers. My mom is a terrible parent and only cares about herself and her boyfriend. Growing up I was always taking care of my siblings and we’ve all grown up with trauma from her abusive ex’s and my dads anger issues. My dad would sexually assault me and it had taken awhile for me to come forward about it but now my punishment is always being told that my mom will bring me to my dads. We never went to court because my mom wants him to try to make a threat so we have a actual reason supposedly. Everyday when I come home I sit in my room and listen to her yell and cry because she’s so unstable. I try to calm her down but she then starts to put blame on me. I’m the oldest so she expects the most out of me as my brothers lack. I’m the most out together and since I don’t want to be around them I sit in my room all day which just causes to get my phone taken away. I want to runaway but I’ve had friends do it and it’s never gone well. I think about moving in with my grandma but she literally lives two blocks away which is not far enough from my mom. My friend has talked to me before about living with her but I’m pretty sure that was just a big joke. All my aunts and uncles live out of state so I’m only really stuck with grandparents. I’m not sure what to do and I really would not want to go to a shelter.

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. Home is supposed to be somewhere safe and you deserve to feel that way.

If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You mentioned that your mom brought your step dad back into the home which is leaving you feel overwhelmed and possibly in danger. You do have the option to report this to child protective services so that they can help you stay safe. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. It can be challenging and even intimidating sometimes to reach out to the people in your life for support. We encourage you to talk to any friends, family, school counselors/teachers, or other trusted adults about your situation even if it's just to have a listening ear. This could also help you identify potential safe places you can go in the event you decide you need to leave home. If you are not quite ready to talk to someone in person yet, one really great resource for all survivors of sexual assault or abuse is RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network). You can call them any time 24/7 at 1-800-656-4673, or go to www.rainn.org to use their online hotline. RAINN is the National Sexual Assault Hotline and has a lot of services, support and resources that you may find helpful.

We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best

We hope to hear from you soon.

Be safe,
NRS