I'm 14 and I want to move out

[Guest]

Hi I'm not 14 I'm almost thirteen but I'd like to move out into apts by the highschool and have control of my money but my mom is Is like a prostitute I'm living with my dad but I want to leave cause I don't really get along with my dad pls help me a Little

[ccsmod9]

Hi there,

You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your dad’s permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your dad. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering. Again your best option might be to report any abuse or neglect that has been happening that way CPS (child protective services) might help you find a new home.
Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

Be safe,

NRS

[Guest]

Hi, Im 18 and me and my parents have been going through some issues on trust. I haven't giving them any reason not to trust me now but I do have issues in my past. I now live with my best friend. but I'm getting a little home sick. what do I do?

[ccsmod4]

Reply: Hi, Im 18 and me and my parents

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. One option might be to consider talking with your parent’s to see if there is any way to establish how you might regain their trust. We understand that you feel that there has been nothing recent that has occurred but there were some pass issues. Perhaps there might be a place to start the conversation.
Sometimes asking a direct question might result in discovering just what the issue is that causing there mistrust. We do understand how frustrating this situation must be for you.
We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and explore some options, please call or chat soon.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to or seek emergency assistance immediately.

We hope to hear from you soon.

Take care,
NRS


We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us

[Guest]

I’m 13 and I wanna move out. It’s not because of any serious reasons. I just moved from my home town 4 months ago into the neighboring province and I really wanna go home. I just don’t fit in with the people here and its not like I have any friends here that would give me a reason to stay. I love my parents and all, its just I’m not comfortable living here and I don’t have very many friends. Most nights I just stay in my room and watch TV. I have a few friends that offered to pay for my flight back and let me live with them. But I’m not sure whether it’s just because it has only been a short period of time of me living her or if I’m just not thinking straight but I’m not sure if I should leave just yet.

[ccsmod2]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are going through a tough time and are having some difficulty adjusting to your new home. These things can take time and can be very frusturating. We are here to support you.
There are a few things that we can tell you about running away at 13. However, you should know that we are not legal experts and these things can vary depending on where you are in the world. In many places, running away is a status offense. You won’t face charges or be punished, but if your guardians to call the cops you will be returned. Additionally, whoever you stay with may face harboring a runaway charge. Consider things like how you will pay for things, how you will get food, where you will stay etc. You need all these things to survive.
Consider talking to the school counselor or getting involved in some activities at school. Think about joining a sports team or a club you find interesting. We wish you the best of luck and urge you to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929.

Stay safe,
The National Runaway Safeline

[Guest]

Im 14 and mom is old and yells at me and makes it seem like I’m irrelevant my mom is telling me she has to deal with my other sister since she is going through something but I need help and I am seriously considering running away or trying to move in with my grandma because I can’t anymore she has an attitude, a boyfriend, yelling at me, and no job and she trying to stop me from getting my permit and car because she knows I wanna get away from her but I won’t let her and I’m on the verge of a burnout she is between her boyfriend and her own problems. I need help or I think I might just leave...

[ccsmod10]

Hi,

Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. Sorry to hear that it feels that your Mom is making you feel irrelevant. It can be tough to not feel heard and pretty hurtful especially when it’s from family.
There are a few different options that you could take. With the living with your grandma situation it could be something that you may want to consider having a conversation about with her. It can be tough to feel that you are being brought into other peoples’ problems.

Another option that you have is a conference call between your Mom, you, and NRS we could talk about how you haven’t really been feeling heard and talk through how you’ve been feeling with her.
We would also be happy to discuss what you specific options are in your area and be able to discuss the situation further if you wanted to reach out over the phone. We’re available 24/7 at 800-RUNAWAY we could also be reached over chat.

Best,

NRS

[Guest]

Hey I am 14 and I really want to move out. I have a 17 year old sister who doesn't have a job and gets everything handed to her. I do have a job and I have to pay for everything. Like when I go out I have to pay with my own money but when my sister goes out my mom gives her money. Another thing is that my mom bought her a fairly new truck and pays for her gas but she is making me fix up or pay to fix up my dad’s truck. She will also probably make me pay for gas. My dad died when I was 5 so I really do want his truck but I would just like for her to pay to fix it since she bought my sisters truck. Plus me, her, and my mom fight all of the time. I love my mom a lot and she loves me but I just can't live with her anymore. My mom doesn't drink all the time, do drugs, or sleep with random men so she's not a bad person but I am just tired of her and my sisters bull crap every day. I hate her rules, the way she makes me pay for everything on my own but she gives my sister everything (yes I know I will have to pay for literally everything when I move out), and the fighting. I work at a pizza place with a really good friend that I get along with who is 18. He just graduated last year and is thinking about getting an apartment and moving out of his mom's house as well. We were talking and I asked if we could get a 2 bedroom apartment and pay rent together and he thought it was a great idea. I really want to try to move in with him but I'm not sure my mom would be ok with it since he is only 18. Would you know how I could convince her to let me live with him.

[ccsmod4]

Reply: Hey I am 14 and I really want to move out

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you are trying to decide what to do about leaving home or staying but have some questions about how to convince mom. Though we can understand being frustrated by a situation it’s good that you are taking your time in making a decision. Unfortunately we don’t have anything to tell you that might make your mother go along with your idea. It sounds like you already have a plan to present to her. Basically the question you might ask of yourself is: Will moving away make my situation better or worse?
A check list to see if there is anything more that can be done to resolve whatever conflict you might be having. Next is to examine how you have attempted to do this. Consider what the best form of communication is to get across your feelings about the situation.
It is also important that you remember to exercise self-care. It is times like these that it would be nice to have a listening ear.
Sometimes talking things over might help to generate new ideas on how to cope with a situation.

NRS is here to listen and here to help.
We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).


We look forward to hearing from you.

Take care,
NRS

We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us

[Guest]

I’m 14 and I want to run away because my mom is mentally abusive and my dad will hit me. My friend say I could stay with her as she has an extra room but I have dogs, I need my dogs as they are my emotional support. I get called a POS and a lot of other names, I get called stupid an psychotic and my sibling hit me and never get in trouble for it. My parents think my sister is perfect. This has been going on my whole life an I need to get out because I’ve began having suicidal thoughts over it. I don’t know what to do because I have dogs and if I leave them, my parents will give them away. What should I do?

[ccsmod2]

Thank you for reaching out to us! It can be difficult to ask for help and support, and it is a good thing that you are doing that for yourself. It sounds like you have a lot going on, and that a lot of it is really challenging. We are very sorry to hear that you are being abused by both of your parents – that is not okay. No one deserves to be treated that way by anyone, least of all their mother or father. Please know that your parents behavior is their issue, you have not done anything to deserve being called names or being hit.
It is good to hear that you have a friend who is supportive and willing to have you stay with them, but it is understandable that you would not want to leave your dogs, especially since they are an important source of emotional support for you. It sounds like your dogs are a big positive force in your life, and of course you would want to be with them and not want your parents to give them away. Is it possible that someone else you know and trust could take your dogs for a while, if you go to stay with your friend? Maybe even someone who lives close to where you would be, so that you could see them on a regular basis? We know that this would not be your first choice, but at least it would get you into a better, safer living situation, and it would protect your dogs from your parents.
With regard to the mental and physical abuse you are experiencing at home, you should know that it is your right to file a report with the local police. It is entirely up to you whether or not you choose to do that. And, as to your having suicidal thoughts as a result of the way you’re being treated at home, that is serious, and we hope you will consider continuing to talk with someone about that. Please call us at 1-800-786-2929, anytime, day or night, or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 (also 24 hours a day).
Again, thank you for contacting us about your situation. We are here to offer support and any resources that may be helpful, and to listen if you want to talk. You are dealing with a lot of challenging issues, and you deserve a safe place to live. Good luck with everything, and call or chat with us anytime!

[Guest]

I honestly wish i could move out and work as long as i can to make money but that is not possible because im 14 my mom always screams at me calls me a disgrace stupid kid and stuff and it really hurts because its my mother telling me things and when she doesnt have work she locks herself in her room with her boyfriend and when they are not in the room they say theyre going with family but they just go get balloons and do noz i think thats what its called so she never spends anytime with me and she is very strict i just hate it but yet when we are in front of people she wants me to say good stuff about her and that is very hard to do when there is nothing good at all about her i just absoulutely hate it then she would ground me and call me names because it wasnt good enough and just randomly she would ground me even if its just because i slept with clothes on when we got home at 4 am because she wouldnt let me go inside so she can do noz with her boyfriend and i always beg her to let me go inside and when she does it she always gets angry and says bad stuff about me with her boyfriend there is many worse things to say but i dont feel comforable but hey atleast i feel better being able to talk about her

[ccsmod9]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I'm 14 and hate living here at home tonight me and my mum were arguing and she said that I have problems ( I suffer from depression ) and that I am the cause to all of her problems which she has had since wag before I was born and I hate it I am not happy and I have my own problems to deal with and I want to walk out because I can't cope with it anymore and I am suicidal and this doesn't help I want to move out and live with my grandparents what shall I do

[ccsmod6]

Hi,
Thanks so much for reaching out. It takes courage to seek out help, and the fact that you’re doing it means that you’re already on the way to improving your situation.
Sorry to hear that your mother said you were the cause of all her problems. Nobody deserves to be told something like that, and it’s definitely not true. As you said, your mother’s problems preceded you. It’s possible she was just exaggerating out of frustration.
It’s totally understandable that you’d want to walk out of a situation that was making your problems feel worse. We support you in disclosing that you are suicidal, and we encourage you to contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline if you ever feel a strong urge to commit self-harm (1-800-273-8255 / suicidepreventionlifeline.org).
As for the question of what you should do, that’s up to you to decide. Understand that running away comes with its own risks. Be sure you consider questions such as where you’ll stay, how you’ll support yourself, and what you’ll do if approached by a stranger. You mentioned you could stay with your grandparents. If you have a way to get there safely, that could be a great option to put some space between you and your mother if tensions are running high.
The important thing to remember is that you are not the cause of your mother’s problems, and that you need not be afraid to prioritize your needs or do what is best for you. You deserve love, validation, and respect. If you’d like to chat in person about your situation in greater depth, you can feel free to call or chat with us anytime. Our number is 1-800-786-2929. Thanks again for your post, and good luck with your situation.

[Guest]

I know that my story isn't as bad as some others, but I have been wanting to move and transfer schools for about 4 years now because the communication (if you could even call it communication) was and still is horrible. My brother is treated like a pharaoh, my mother is overworked and claims to have no time for my so called **********ing, and her fiance claims that mother calls the shots in the household but only when she agrees with him. The little one thinks it is okay to throw temper tantrums, bite, kick, punch, spit, shriek, and cry until hyperventilation, mind you he's 12 going on 13. The fiance does not know that I have been listening to conversations he has been having about sending me away to a correction camp or some mental health facility for "anger issues" before I continue you should know that he has struck me 8 times over the past 3 years 2 of the times were because I told him I was not afraid of him and the rest were for something stupid. My mother has pulled over the car just to yell at me about "anger issues" and how I am exactly like my father when she supposedly has no time for "**********ing". I know that I am no angel, but I am no demon and do not deserve this kind hell, I have never hit my parents, never returned home drunk or high, never went off about how awful they are in their face, or injure my brother. I am going to move in with my father over the summer when he has me and I want some advice regarding what I should be worried about like school and different home setting because i'm 14 and have only a vague idea of what i'm doing. Thank you for taking the time to read this

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension, it’s not fair that your mother and her fiancé are exaggerating your flaws without recognizing their own.

You mentioned that your mother’s fiancé has previously hit you. Absolutely no one deserves to be abused. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering. It may also be a good idea to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

All the best,
NRS

[Guest]

Im 14 and i went to my first party last night, my mom wanted me home at 11 and the party started at 10:30. All my friends are always going to parties and having fun and i just wish i could be apart of it. So i didn't answer my moms texts to come and get me or where i was. She found where i was this morning and now im home. But home is terrible, she's mad at me and wont talk to me. i regret what i have done but i most of all just want to leave home. i dont want to live here anymore, i have friends i could stay with but she would end up finding me and then it would make things worse. i can't stay here much longer without killing myself and all i want to do is have freedom and just do what is best for me but i can't and i dont know what to do

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,
Thank you for contacting National Runaway Safeline we are here to help and here to listen. It’s tough when you feel that everyone is doing something that you are not allowed to do. It seems like your mother cares a lot about you and cares about your safety. Sometimes being out late at night can get dangerous.
You mentioned wanting to leave and killing yourself. Those two things are very big decisions to really think about. We want you to know that your life is valuable and it seems like there are people that care about you. Also there is always someone to listen at any time of the day or night. If you are ever feeling suicidal you can call The National Suicide Prevention Line at: 1800-273-8255.
Also you mentioned running away, we are not legal experts but we do have general knowledge of the laws. If you were to runaway your parents or legal guardian has the right to file a runaway report on you. If the police do find you they would most likely bring you home. Running away can be dangerous so if you do decide to runaway we hope you are safe. Some things to think about if you runaway are your safety, what you will do for food and water and where you would stay. Your safety is our top priority so whatever your plan is we hope it is safe.
One option for you could be to try and come up with a compromise with your mother. At NRS we offer conference calling where if you call us, we will call out to your mother and have a conference call. Conference calling allows you to be heard and we are there to mediate the conversation and provide support to you.
We hope this information will be able to help you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to talk more please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and provide support. We wish you the best of luck!
NRS

[Guest]

Hi, I am 14 and I want to run away again... My life might get better but then ill do something wrong or make another stupid mistake and ill remember why I ran away the first time... I want to get out... I can't do this anymore... Recently I did something I really regret and my parents are extremely disappointed and mad at me and they call me a embarrassment, piece of **** who can't do anything right, a nobody and a mistake... They sometimes get really mad and get abusive... They also want me to do a whole bunch of stuff I really don't want to do and they tell me to shut up and call me a disappointment and they cut off my wifi... I have friends with issues and they seem to want to talk to me about everything, and they are too much! I tried to kill myself... It didn't work.. so I decided to see if anyone can help me? Or maybe this world is just here to torture me?? I dont know anymore!!! Please!!! Help!!!

[ccsmod9]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Hey Im also 14 I'm constantly being controlled by my parents and I just get no freedom I just want to move out I got a job so it won't be too bad for getting stuff