I'm 14 and I want to move out

[Guest]

i am being sexually abuse and physical abuse every single day i am willing to move out but i don't have anywhere to go

[ccsmod5]

Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. It takes a lot of courage to reach out for help. We are sorry you are experiencing this abuse and it sounds like your situation if very serious. No one should ever feel unsafe in their own home.
Please know that you can call the National Runaway Safeline 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. A trained crisis volunteer can talk through your situation with you and talk through ways to find a safe situation for you. That may involve talking with you about trusted adults who may be able to help you or connecting you to services such as emergency shelter, counseling, child protective services or assisting you in filing a police report. Our volunteers can help you understand all your options and assist in finding ways to keep you safe.
There are other crisis lines that may also be able to help you and have access to resources for people in your situation.
National Child Abuse Hotline (childhelp.org) at (800) 422-4453
National Domestic Violence Hotline (thehotline.org) at (800) 799-7233
Rape Abuse Incest National Network (rain.org) (800) 656-4673
We are glad you have reached out for help. Please feel free to call us so we can help you move forward and be safe.

[Guest]

I'm a 14 year old boy. I go to school have practice until 5:00. My mom is always late. By the time I get home it's 5:30-5:45. My mom everyday yells at me for the smallest reasons. When we are arguing about something whenever I know for a fact she is wrong when I go to tell her she says I'm being ignorant. When someone is wrong the human reaction is to tell them they are wrong. Then we will get into a huge argument over nothing and if I try to walk away to calm down because I'm about to flip out and throw something I'll get my Xbox taken. I was also living with my aunt for a decade before I moved in with my mom and I know she won't let me move back. Is there somewhere I can go?

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,
Thank you for contacting The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a tough time right now. You could consider talking to your mom about how she is late picking you up, maybe she is in traffic or thinks you get out of practice at a different time. Another option you can see if maybe doing carpooling so some days it won’t be your mother picking you up from practice but instead a friend. When you guys are about to get in an argument you can try and talk calmly and take deep breaths, that may help prevent an argument. Here at NRS we offer conference calling where if you call us we can call out to your mother. Conference calling helps youth talk about difficult things and we help provide support and mediate the conversation so you are heard without arguing.
You mentioned if there is a place to go for you. We are not legal experts but do have general knowledge of the laws. If you were to leave home without your parents’ permission you could be considered as a runaway. Running away is not a criminal offense it is a status offense, what that means is if you were found you the police would most likely bring you back home. You could consider asking if you could stay with your aunt or another family member. If you think leaving is your best option you can look at National Safe Place.com and they may have a list of places you can go in your area.
We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to talk more please feel free to give us a call we are here 24/7.
Best of luck
NRS

[Guest]

Iḿ 14 I will be 15 in a few months and I want as far away from my family and house as I can. I don't want to be in this house anymore because my parents blame everything on me and put so much stress on me and they don't help my depression and anxiety and it makes me worse I've tried to get removed from my house multiple times by my therapist but she won't listen to how bad I am treated and it's making me worse I have been like this for almost 4 years now. I have no one who will take me in except my cousin but he's on parol. my parents are the I resort to cutting and starving myself.

[ccsmod2]

Thank you for reaching out and sharing all of that with us. Asking for help is a really good first step. It sounds like you are going through a lot right now but there are people who care and can help support you. We are not legal experts but from what we know if you were to leave home without permission, your parents could file a runaway report. Running away is not illegal but if police find you they would most likely bring you back home. Feelings of depression and anxiety can be really difficult to work through and it must be frustrating that your parents are so dismissive. Support can be really important to help you cope with difficult situations. If you ever want to talk to someone other than your therapist you could text “CONNECT” to 741741. We are not sure exactly what is going on, but if you are experiencing any type of abuse you could get help filing an abuse report by contacting the national child abuse hotline at 1-800-422-4453. You could also reach out to the National Eating Disorder Association at 1-800-931-2237 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 for more support and resources. Please call or chat us at 1-800786-2929 and www.1800runaway.org if you want to talk more about what is going on or explore more options.

[Guest]

Im about to be fourteen in a few months. I live alone with my mom ( in Canada if that matters ), as my sister and brother moved out. My mom constantly yells at me for almost nothing, like i forgot to put away my glass after supper. She always claims that every small thing balls up, even though I have done nothing wrong for a week. She always yells at me whenever she asked about my day and I tell her. Anytime me and my friends are dealing with something, she always says it's my fault and maybe if I just stopped doing anything people wouldn't have to deal with it, even if I did nothing wrong. She always talks about how my sister and brother we're perfect, and "I wish I raised you like them". And a lot of the time when she's mad, she'll "talk to herself" (although its obviously meant for me to feel bad) and say "you really messed up with this one {her name}.

She always tells me she loves me, and when I say it she goes, "well your actions don't show it, you never do anything for me" even though I constantly do! She'll also yell at me for not doing things SHE NEVER TOLD ME TO DO!

I know there's a thing in Canada where you can live on your own if neither of your parents households ( I refuse to live with my dad, he constantly body shames me, even though I am the average weight of a girl my age ) and you can get an early job, and an apartment. If that can't happen, I also have a friend just down the street who would have no problem with me staying there, as she knows whats going on.

[ccsmod2]

Hello,
Thanks for reaching out to us during this difficult time. Its sounds like you have a hard time communicating with your mom and want to move out. Just to let you know, we are located in the US and all of our options are based off of US law. We do not have any resources for Canadian families. One option might be to look into counseling, or emancipation through your local Canadian courts.
Here at the National Runaway we can help offer a 3-way conference call with your mom if you wanted help talking to her about wanting to move out. Please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) at any time if you need additional assistance.

[Guest]

Why can you not live on your own at 14 i have a steady job right now and i would have enough to pay rent if i needed to i dont understand why i cant. My parents do drink and s**t but its nit completely that bad. My dad does get a little abusive you can say by hitting me and screaming at me for hours on end for the same thing i try to keep to myself but theres not much i can do i have so much built up anger and everything because of the situation. But i love my parents to death i just cant i contemplate sucide and ******** but my friends make me enjoy life. I just dont understand why i cant live on my own

[ccsmod9]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services. While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe and stay strong,
NRS

[Guest]

im am 14 and have depression i hate my family and i know they hate me back my often gang up on me whenever im in a fight with just on of them i have 4 other siblings i hate them all im constantly getting in fights with them (physical) and parents always go on their side my parnets dont even look at me my mom just that looking at me makes her want to die adn that shes going to act as if i dont even exist just a couple hour ago she was hitting me and started ranting about how im never gonna see my phone again she not even going to act like im alive such as not making me food (she'll make my other siblings) she wont wash my clothes tlak to me or do anything just becuase she my sister got her mad she started taking her anger out on me. i cant take it anymore im either going to kill myself or runaway but i have no whhere to go im already planning to get emanicpated when im 16 but i dont think i can wait that long

[ccsmod9]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody. It also sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

idk where else to say this so i guess im saying it here now. im 14, and i want to leave my home really badly but im so afraid of being caught and punished for it too. yesterday my mom said my only purpose in life is to work and that i don't deserve privacy or respect, she's threatened to take away all my internet access and go through all my history, and about just half an hour ago she screamed at me about how i make everything terrible because i took a 45 minute shower. this has been going on for years but its been getting so much worse recently. she occasionally slaps or hits me too, and whenever i disagree with her, get angry or side with my father on an issue, i'm just called disrespectful, selfish, a freak, a psycho, a witch, etc. leaving or running away right now isn't an option, but i'd like to know- could this be considered abuse, and at what age would i be able to legally run away or move out without parental consent (in CT)?

[ccsmod2]

Hello there,

Thank you for contacting us through our online forum. It sounds like a really stressful situation at home. No one deserves to be called those names by their parents. Home is a place where you should feel safe and comfortable. It’s understandable that you would want to leave that environment.

Your parents hitting or slapping you is not okay either. No one deserves that. Have you ever considered filing an abuse report? That’s an option we can discuss with you in more detail or you can reach out to Child Help which is the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453.
There’s a lot to think about when leaving home such as having a safe place to stay and being able to support yourself. If you would like help coming up with a plan, please do not hesitate to reach out. In CT, you can legally leave without parental consent at 18.
NRS is here to listen and here to help. If you would like to speak more about your situation you can reach out to NRS at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or www.1800Runaway.org.


Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

Hi I am 14 and I had a baby I am wanting to move in with my baby’s father but my mom is telling me that I can’t we argue about things but I love her

[ccsmod4]

Reply: Hi I am 14 and I had a baby

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you are having some issues seeing eye to eye with your mother. That must make things pretty difficult for you.
Sometimes communication becomes a struggle and words are not being heard and feelings are not being considered. In spite of your difficulties to communicate it sounds like you love your mom. Good for you. Sometimes counseling might be something to consider. It may be a way for you and your mom to listen and talk with one another in a constructive and positive manner. We understand if this is not an easy decision for you.

We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about your situation, please call or chat soon. Sometimes talking and exploring options might help to come up with options not thought of previously.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

We hope to hear from you soon.

Take care,
NRS
We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us

[Guest]

I'm about to be 15 and I want to move out because me and my family fight all the time and sometime it gets physical and i'm at my breaking point what should I do

[ccsmod9]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I am 14 years old and I just really need a change. My parents are divorced and life gets over complicated most of the time. I really want to move to New Brunswick with my grandparents to give my self a break for a while. Are there any rules against this?

[ccsmod4]

Reply:I am 14 years old

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

We appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. Divorce can be a difficult thing to cope with.
It is times like these that it might be have some comfort to have a listening ear.
NRS is here to listen and here to help..
We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more about your situation and explore some options, please call or chat soon.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

We hope to hear from you soon.

Take care,
NRS

We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us

[Guest]

Hi I’m 14 and I’m currently in a very mental and verbal abusive household. My moms bf constantly screams at me and is just rude. Now I don’t even like coming home. I would like to move in with my gf since my dads house isn't any better because my step sister bully’s me. But I was told I couldn’t move in with my gf. Idk what to do

[ccsmod8]

Hello there –

Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here on our public forum. We are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. Hopefully there are other youth that are in similar situations as you that can benefit from you reaching out to us today.

No one deserves to be treated like that at all. Just know that you always have the right to report any abuse (physical, mental, sexual, or neglect/abandonment) to your local child protective service in your state. You have rights too. If calling out to child protective services is something that you don’t really feel comfortable with doing, you can always give us a call to help answer any questions about the process or to walk you through what steps there are. Having evidence of the alleged abuse might be helpful to have as well because that is something that they will as about during the process or you can mention that is something that you do have in case they want it.

Only you know when you need to leave due to your home being unsafe. Unfortunately no one but you can make that decision for you, not even here. One thing that may be helpful for you is to possibly note when the fighting/yelling is happening or any triggers of the fighting/yelling ( some examples would be like after your abuser comes from work or after dinner and/or right when you get home) and to try to find things that can keep yourself away from home during those times (after school programs, sports program, study group at a friend’s house, getting involved in your volunteering, etc). Since you are 14 years old and if you leave without getting permission, what generally what typically happens in each state is if you are below the legal age of majority (18 in most states), your parents would be able to make a runaway report in the event that you do run away. Since it’s only considered a statues offense and not a crime to run away, the only thing that would happen is that the police will pick you up and bring you back home. Then you would have to figure out how you're going to deal with being at home once again and how they might punish you for leaving.

Now we do offer a service that is basically a Conference Call where the parent, the youth, and us would be on the phone talking about what has been going on. This way there can be a mediator in between keeping things calm and productive. If you’d feel more comfortable with doing that, just know that it’s always available. It might be a great way to talk about what you are going through mentally and maybe come up with ways to help you feel like not running away. Something constructive so that it certainly opens the lines of communication, but that services is completely up to you.

[Guest]

I’m 11 turning 12 soon, I want to runaway or move somewhere without my parents..my parents think I’m a total disappointment. I get emotionally abused but they say I need to straighten up, they don’t know how I’m feeling so they always say the same word when I ask for something..I’ve wanted a dog since I was born( a pitbull to be exact) my dad said no they are the most dangerous dog and that they kill people. I need help from someone this is the only place I seen that I think would maybe help but my luck sucks so I won’t be surprised if I don’t get a reply </3

[ccsmod3]

Hello there,

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to NRS and having the strength to share your story with us. We are sorry to hear about your situation and what you’ve been dealing with. Ideally, home would be a place where people feel safe, loved, and valued, and you do not deserve to be treated that way. You’ve been very courageous to reach out for help and try your best despite the circumstances.

In regards to your plan of living elsewhere, many shelters do not take in youth below a certain age for more than a few hours. If you feel that there is a trustworthy family member or friend able to take you in, an alternative living arrangement could be an option, where your parents give you permission to live elsewhere. We would encourage you to speak with your parents if you haven’t already about this. Some things to consider would be guardianship, school enrollment, how you would take care of your needs (eating, sleeping, healthcare), and how you would care for your safety if something were to happen. If you were interested, we also offer conference-calling as an option, where we would mediate a constructive conversation between your parents and yourself in order to reach an understanding.

Concerning your desire to get a dog, you are totally right that pitbulls are unfairly characterized as being violent and we hope that one day you will be able to have one.

We would love to talk more about the details of your situation so that we can work towards a solution that you find acceptable. If you would like to share more, please feel free to call our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or use our Live Chat.
We hope this information was helpful and take care.
National Runaway Safeline
[email protected] (Crisis Email)
1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

[Guest]

This is very long sorry but I needed someone to tell this to and I'm ashamed to tell my best friend, or anyone else.
I have thoughtut running away sometimes but I could never go with it. I live in a tiny tiny tiny i don't even know what it's called but it's very tiny and I hate it here, there is only one room and that's where my Gma and Grandpa live I have to live with my grandma because my mom was she was young ( my mom is a teen Mom) used to be out all the time and leave me in people's houses ( which was okay with me because I liked where I was, i played with other kids) and my grandma who always took care of us wanted to take custody of is ( which she did ) but it was a 1 year battle and she won but she was a teenager she was only 16, I wouldn't want her to miss out on her childhood because of me and my brother (who also lives with us and also doesn't want to live with mt gma because of my same things) but me and my brother sleeps in the living room and so do I he sleeps in a mattress on the floor and I sleep on the couch which I don't like. And my grandma is always making me and my brother do things she's so lazy and then she screams alot alot like everyday alot for little things like having a trash on the floor and she is always talking bad about me and saying mean things about me and cussing at me in Spanish like ***** stupido and alot more which I really don't like like and she gets mad even more when I state something like I told her that already I don't like her talking to me like that and she doesn't care and continues. And she does hit me with belts and stuff. I do talk back bveause I get mad when she talks to me like that and she scracthes me and throws random objects at me. And I don't have freedom. I can't have my phone with me when I sleep and I have to give it at a certain time when it's school days or not. And she gets really really mad when I don't want to take it or I don't wanna put it up, here's why I don't wanna put it up, it's because on my phone I have people to talk to and YouTube which always makes me laugh and I go to my phone for confort. And we are poor, she wants to move but I don't because I have all my friends and best friend who I talk to about all my promblems but not all because I am ashamed or like I don't wanna tell her I am poor. She doesn't let my mom have us because she wants us to do everything for her and my mom does drugs but like only weed but it calms her down and she does it because she never sees us and she's sad cause she doesn't get to be with us on birthday s or holidays I think she's depressed and so am I. And my grandma is always talking to her friends about the bad things I do or my brother does and I don't like that because I feel ashamed and I never want to leave my house.

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. It’s got to be really frustrating to not even be allowed your phone when it’s such a great source of comfort to you. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being, mainly that your grandmother hits you with a belt. Absolutely no one deserves to be abused or called names like that. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering. It may also be a good idea to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

We’re glad to hear that you’re able to talk to your best friend a little about how you’ve been feeling. If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

All the best,
NRS