I'm 14 and I want to move out

[Guest]

I’m 14 and I feel like I have no one. I do not get along with my parents. My dad lives in a different country and I have not spoken to him in 1 year and I live with my mom which is exhausting. I get into fights with her all the time and I am just tired of it all. I cannot talk to anybody about what is going on. My dad and his family are awful people, I used to get along with my mom but things changed after she started choosing man over me and my maternal grandparents are great but they always agree with my mom and they also live in another country and they do not know what’s going on. 6 months ago my stepdad took his own life and I am still grieving but my mom doesn’t understand. I don’t have close friends to talk to. I like this boy that I used to be so close with, but now things with him are just up and down. I have financial problem, mostly my mom. My grades at school are awful... I try to pretend that I don’t care about anything but I am just dying inside. I don’t know I feel like I am the loneliest person in the world. I don’t even know what I want anymore. I just know that I want to leave all these people and be at peace with myself and the world.

[ccsmod4]

Reply: I’m 14 and I feel like I have no one.

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).


It sounds like you have been trying to cope with a lot of issues with family and just being at home. We understand that sometimes it might feel like you are lost because people don’t seem to see or try to understand that you are going through a tough emotional time. Your feelings are important and you deserve to be listened to.
You are very brave for writing NRS today. Good job.
We understand that losing a loved one can be such a difficult time. There is no time table on grieving. You have our condolences.

In spite of it feeling like you are alone: you are not.
NRS is here to listen and here to help. Sometimes talking about your situation, expressing your feelings can help in coming up with options and a plan for working towards a solution.

If you would like to talk more about your situation, please contact us at 1-800-runaway (786-2929) or www.1800runaway.org

You did a wonderful job by reaching out today.

Take care,
NRS
We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us

[Guest]

Hey im in a crisis where my house life is chaotic and abusive and i really want to move out. My parents don't accept me for transitioning and it makes me feel horrible. I have to go towards taking pills to make sure i feel okay everyday and ive tried to commit suicide multiple times.

[ccsmod9]

Thanks for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. You made a great first step to finding the help that you may need. It sounds like you are going through a lot and the people around you are not being supportive. You deserve to be treated with respect, to experience acceptance and to feel safe.

We want you to know that you are strong for having gone through so much already. It is perfectly okay to deviate from what others or the common population believe to be “normal”. You’re bravery and resilience is so admirable. You are so strong for having gone through so much without having the acceptance that you do deserve for just being you. Remember that you are not alone. If you ever want to talk more about what you are experiencing or get additional support we are here 24/7 at 1800-RUNAWAY or our live chat service. The GLBT National Hotline at 1888-843-4564 is another option to gain great support from those that are familiar with the issues and experiences of those that are also a part of the LGBTQ community. You can access their website link bellow to utilize all the other possibly useful resources they have to offer: http://www.glbthotline.org/

You mentioned that you were considering the options that may be best for you. By all means, if you do fear for your safety either now or in the future, do not hesitate to take the necessary steps to regain your safety. This may mean calling the authorities or possibly reporting the things you may be experiencing. Other options to think about may be other family members, friends, or a trusted adults that would be able to provide you with support or a safe place to stay. It is great that you thinking ahead. Should you feel like leaving home is best, it may be a good idea to think about how you will provide necessities for yourself such as food, clothing, showers, healthcare and other basic needs. You may want to also consider how your parent’s will react to you leaving without permission. We are not legal experts here, but typically as a minor (under the age of 1 you need permission from your parents to leave home. It is not illegal to runaway, but it would mean that your parents could file a runaway report with the police. This is usually done in an effort to try to return you home as the police are required to do so.

If you can give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY or reach out through Live Chat we can try to find some youth shelters that may be near your city and state by utilizing our database of resources. We can also try to call out to shelters with you or on your behalf to advocate for you.

[Guest]

I’m 14 years old and I’m sick of my parents ***, it’s just everyday it’s like a roller coaster, my dad is a stubborn 3 year old and has incredible ego and my mom follows my dad around with no say in anything. They barely give me freedom and only can go out with my girlfriend once a week and when I ask for more time, they get at mad at me. I’ve already talked to them 3 times already but everything is still the same, I’m just sick of it all

im moving out tmr becuz i hate my family i have knowone to talk too i dont feel loved at all and i always feel depressed and sad mad so im gonna be leaving tmr in the morning

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,
Thank you for contacting The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a difficult time right now. You mentioned having no one to talk to, you could consider talking to your school counselor. Also if you would like to call us we are available 24/7 to listen and provide support. You mentioned leaving tomorrow, you may want to consider where you are going to go, how you will afford food and shelter. There may be other options than leaving home, we could help you explore those options if we knew more about your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to discuss your situation in further detail please give us a call. We wish you the best of luck
NRS

[Guest]

I'm a 14 year old going on 15, and I can't live where I am anymore. I have a grandmother and grandparents who would take me in, but my parents would never let me. I've asked multiple times to leave, mind you. I'm a type one diabetic, and I hyperthyroidism. I have to take a pill every morning, and test my blood sugar and give myself insulin throughout the day. If all of that wasn't stressful enough, my mom is constantly on my back! She doesn't even feel like my mom anymore, but a like prison warden. She constantly goes through my stuff, snoops in my room, reads my diary, etc. She claims to do this because I can't be trusted. If she would give me a chance, I think she'd be surprised. She also frequently backhands me, slams me into walls, throws me on the floor, and has even kicked me on a few occasions. My father is no help whatsoever. He sleeps all day after work, and doesn't stir unless he hears my mom's theatrical performance about how I'm a trouble maker and needs help. He then comes into the room and proceeds to scream at me, and sometimes slaps me. Yesterday he almost broke my nose trying to shove my face into the floor. I want out. I hope you can help me.

[ccsmod16]

We are so sorry that your parents are putting you through all that. It's great that you have your grandparents, and that they could be a source of support.

Everyone deserves a safe and supportive environment. What your mom is doing sounds like it could be physical and psychological abuse. You could consider making a child abuse report. To learn more, you could call Child Help at 1-800-422-4453. If you call anonymously, you don't have to commit to anything. You can describe what you're going through to them, and they can talk about whether it qualifies as abuse, and what next steps would look like if you reported.

Ultimately, you know your parents best, but consider if telling them you might report their behavior could change anything. But certainly, don't do this if you think they might react violently. Also, think if there are other adults you could reach out to. It might help make it clear to your mom that her behavior is a problem if you have another adult with you who you trust, and who can take your side.

We are not legal experts, but our understanding is that it's never illegal to run away. It's what's called a status offence. This means that if you leave your guardians, they can file a runaway report. If they do, the police's job is to return you to your guardians.

So, consider if your parents would actually file a runaway report if you went to live with your grandparents. Some youth wind up living away from their guardians with no runaway report filed.

Lastly, we have free or sliding scale family counseling resources. If you call us, we can see if we have any in your area who you could reach out to, if you think that'll be a help.

We are so sorry that you're being put through this, but it's awesome that you are reaching out to get the support that you deserve.

[Guest]

i’m 14 years old i have made really bad decisions and i feel very stressed out and depressed because i have no freedom so i sit in my room all day me and my mom get into fights every single day and i threaten to run away plz help

[ccsmod9]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS feels they can help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe, NRS

[Guest]

I'm honestly ready to just leave this place and never step foot in Illinois ever again or contact this whack family ever again. Every day I wake up and get treated like I don't deserve to be in this family when im the only person in this household besides my stepdad (that always sides with my mom no matter what)that has common sense and the capacity to be a good person to other people. It seems like all my mom, brother and two (younger) sisters are capable of criticism and bringing each other down. I struggle to beg my grandma for money every single day just so I can help my poor family get some food in their mouths. Ive applied for numerous jobs and im only 14, but in every one is has a paragraph begging for someone to understand that I am 14 but very mature and that I need the job. I need a source of money besides my grandma because I know she's gonna stop sending money soon, and im the pillar standing between my own starvation and happiness. I eat like once every day at school because I am in a program for the people living in poverty to get free/reduced lunch. All my life I've moved about 4 times a year because my mom never wanted to settle. She never keeps a job, doesn't clean (all the while ridiculing me for being filthy when im probably the most hygienic in my family) and doesn't cook, she doesn't do anything but lay in her bed all day under the covers watching tv and making her children clean all day, even cleaning HER room. She says mean stuff about me and to me and I just can't take it much longer. I grew up in cali and in 2015 my mom moved us into Illinois. I moved in and out of Illinois a few more times of course, but in 2017 I moved back to my hometown in cali and had everything I needed. This was the end of my 7th grade year. I had a huge fight with my mom about moving back because I had everything I wanted in cali, I felt like an actual person instead of scum, which is how living with them made me feel. They were living in Illinois while I was living with my grandma in cali. My grandma isn't an option to move with because she cant handle me, she never raised boys and doesn't understand me at all, she secretly despises me and favors my brother but would never admit it for the life of her. I want to be emancipated. Right now I live in a town in Illinois with a school that is garbage and I have no friends here. Theres literally ONE good thing about this place and its my girlfriend. She's the only person that is there for me and I still have to crawl through hell and back just to be able to spend some time with her because her family doesn't like me (her mom doesn't like latino boys, she says they're all the same and all cheaters because her husband is). I want to move back to my real home, my hometown where I have so many friends and people who care about me, everyone isn’t nice to me and I actually feel like I matter there, like when I was there I had good people around me supporting me. Living in this town im in right now, I have one single person, and even she isn't always there for me. I always feel completely alone because there's not a single person here that understands me. I want to go back to my good life, but my mom won't let me go back. Every time I try to talk to my mom about moving back she either says no or tells me to be quiet. When I try to talk to her about it she just argues and argues, when I just cant understand how she can pull her own son down like that. She's holding me down in this spot that I dont wanna be in and punching me in the face while she's at it (not literally, she's too lazy to hit me). This isn't the life for me. I need my people back. Im not old enough to leave the house early, but im praying that there is a way I can be emancipated. I want to run away, but how am I supposed to get where I belong when its halfway across the country and no one can hire me so I can make myself the money to get out of here?

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you so much for contacting the National Runaway Safeline and for sharing your situation. We're so sorry to hear about the situation with your family – no child should have to deal with something like that.
You mentioned that you are interested in running away, which makes sense considering what you’ve experienced at home. Some things that are important to think about are how long it could take to get there, where you could stay overnight that would be safe and who to call if you need help.
With regards to your question about emancipation, while we are not legal experts, we can tell you that if you are a minor and you leave home without parental consent, your legal guardian would be obligated to file a runaway report. If your guardian did file a runaway report and the police found you, it’s somewhat difficult to know how the police would respond. One way to find out is to call your local non-emergency police number anonymously and ask them about their protocol in that sort of situation. If you did run away and the police found you, it’s unlikely they would knowingly put you back in a harmful environment. On the other hand, if your legal guardian did give you permission to move out, you would be free to do so with no legal issues.
Again, while we are not legal experts, In Illinois there is an “Emancipation of Mature Minors Act” that allows “mature” (as ruled by the court) adolescents between the age 16 and 18 to become emancipated. Unfortunately, being 14 that might not apply to you. Minors seeking emancipation would have to demonstrate to the court that they are mature, able to financially support themselves, and be able to live independently. If you are interested in finding out more details we would recommend looking up legal services in your area.
You mentioned that you aren’t getting a lot to eat because it’s difficult to make money at your age. You could consider any local food pantries in your area in order to potentially support your family. Additionally, you mentioned due to your age you don’t qualify for many jobs. You could consider getting a job with a neighbor as a babysitter or doing yard work for people in your area if that’s an option.
We will be best able to help you by understanding more details of your situation and talking it through live. You can reach us through our phone hotline or digital chat service. You can call our telephone hotline 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. This number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929). We also have a chat service that is available through our website 24/7. By contacting us through one of these methods, we can also look up legal resources which might be able to provide further guidance for you and your situation.
We wish you the best of luck,
NRS

[Guest]

I’m 14 and I want to move out Ime and my mom have really big fights she yells at me that I’m worth nothing and I’m just a big waste in the world she calls me fat ugly and stupid she and she hits me with whatever’s close to her a show belt hanger a cord and even a spoon I really don’t want to live with her and I have a few places I can go with family members my mom makes me so mad and it gets to the point where I just do things in the heat of the moment and don’t want to do anything I’ll regret she’s she’s also Stolen about 100 dollars from me

[ccsmod10]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to live into a home with so much tension. No one deserves to feel unsafe where they live and no one has the right to abuse you. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. Absolutely no one deserves to be abused. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering. It may also be a good idea to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

All the best,
NRS

[Guest]

hi, im 14 and live full time with my mum and her girlfriend. i used to live halftime with my dad but now he is moved somewhere else cus hes on trial for sexual assault and other bad tuff. my mums is extremely strict and it is very stressful. no technology is allowed in any rooms at any times, she fully searches it every single night, she questions me about every phone cal, text etc. she is constanly on my back and i feel like evry single decision i make is what i know she would see, it is very stressful. if my togs r a little up my bum or my shorts r too short she calls me a slut and makes a big deal about it, a few time it has been in public and embarrassed me a lot. i really dont like my step mum, we fight a fair bit, everytime i talk about almost anything, whether it be a teacher i dont like, or a mean person, i am always in the wrong and it just turns into a lecture. i hate school so much i only went about 2 and a half terms last year and wagged most of it and failed 5 subjects. im doing a lot better in general than iwas last year but i really dont like living here, its too much.

[ccsmod9]

Hi there,

You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your mom’s permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your mom. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

Be safe,

NRS

[Guest]

I'm 14 and I want to get out of my house. My parents get mad at me for little things and stress me out so that it isn't easy for me to complete assignments in some cases. I talked to them about the way they were making me feel and how i get anxious easily and they got mad at me saying that I was "not being a man". I have many friends with great families that would be willing to take me in. I was just wondering if that could be a possibility.

[ccsmod2]

We are glad you are reaching out to us because we are here to help. It sounds like you’ve been dealing with stress at home, but contacting us is a good first step in figuring out your options.

You mentioned that you tried talking to your parents about how they were making you feel but that they got mad and said you weren’t being a man. It’s very admirable that you tried to bring up the conversation with them. When you talked with them, how did you breach the subject? Sometimes the way you have the conversation can change how they feel about it. If you feel comfortable, having a trusted adult speak on your behalf may be a way for your parents to listen to your concerns. If you aren’t comfortable with having someone physically talk to your parents for you, we do have an option they may be of help through our hotline (1-800-786-2929). Through our conference call service, we could speak with you and then speak to your parents. We would then join the call and be on the line to help keep conversation constructive.

In your message you also mentioned having friends that would be willing to take you in. It’s great to hear that you have friends that you can trust! When it comes to living with them, if you leave home without permission that can be considered running away. While running away isn’t illegal, it can be a status offense. That means that if your parents file a runaway report with the police, they may be able to press charges against anyone that takes you in, since “harboring a runaway” is illegal. That can be avoided if your parents give consent for you to leave home. With parental permission, you would be able to leave home and stay with your friends. Do you think your parents would be okay with that? The methods we mentioned before about talking to your parents could also be used for asking permission to leave.

Like we said, we are here to help, but we are also here to listen. If you wanted to call our hotline at 1-800-786-2929 to discuss the options above or help think of other ideas, we are available 24/7. Our number is free and confidential!

Best of luck!

[Guest]

Can I move out when I'm 11? Can I live with one of my friends? I hate living in my house.

[ccsmod2]

Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are going through something very difficult at home right now and want to see a better situation in living with your friend.

We are not legal experts here at NRS, but at the age of 11, you can not LEGALLY leave home and live somewhere else without your parent’s permission. In most states, you need to be 18 to have this legal right.

If your parents do not give you permission and you leave, they may file a Runaway Report with the police. If your parents or the police find you, they will bring you back to your parents.

So if your parents will give you permission to live with your friend or allow you to leave, then yes, you can live with your friend. This assumes that it’s OK with your friend’s parents, too, right?

Thank you again for reaching out to us and we hope this has been helpful. If you’d like to discuss this anymore or chat more about what’s going on at home,, please don’t hesitate to call us at the National Runaway Safeline. You can reach us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

[Guest]

I am 14. I live in a house that is going to drive me to suicide. My mom is beyond controlling to the point where I constantly feel like I'm walking on eggshells and she has completely forbidden me to have any contact with my girlfriend. Which is another thing my mom is disapproving of, the fact that I'm gay. I have an emotionally abusive step-father that screams and yells constantly. They both smoke weed, cigarettes, and drink way too much alcohol. I think my mom might even be doing drugs. My mom has taken away every support system I have and makes fun of my depression. She acts as if the fact that I have already attempted suicide once is just a joke. I was put into a mental health facility for 8 days except it didn't help because I still had to go back to the same house with the same people. My mom is beginning to make my little sister depressed as well. I can't deal with this, I throw up constantly, I cry for at least 2 hours every day when I go home, I can't sleep because of nightmares. She has already made it so that I have many issues. She has moved me and my sister 11 times and made it so that now I have control issues. We have been kicked out of houses, left because of domestic abuse with my step-father and I am also a sexual abuse victim. My girlfriend's mom says that she would gladly take me in and that she would have already except she would be arrested for kidnapping. I really can't deal with this anymore. I'm afraid that if I go home I'm going to commit suicide. At this point I know that I will I can't do this.

[ccsmod7]

Thank you for reaching out and sharing your situation with us.

It sounds like home has definitely been over whelming and stressful for you, but reaching out for help is a great first step. Having a support system can be important when you have a lot of stress to cope with, so it is frustrating your mom is trying to cut you off from contacting your girlfriend. Your situation might seem helpless, but there are people who care about you and resources that can help. If you are ever thinking about suicide or need someone to talk to you can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or go to suicidepreventionlifeline.org. You can also text “CONNECT” 741741 if you wanted to talk to a crisis counselor. You can also reach out to RAINN the national sexual assault hotline at 1-800-656-4673 or go to rain.org. Trevor Project which is a LGBTQ youth suicide lifeline may also be a helpful resource to provide support for you. You can call at 1-866-488-7386 or go to thetrevorproject.org.

We are not legal experts but from what we know if you were to leave without your mom’s permission she could file a runaway report. Running away is not illegal, but if police find you they could take you back home. You mentioned that your girlfriend’s mom would be willing to take you in, so you could try talking to your mom about living somewhere else. If you were interested we can help you talk to your mom by doing a conference call with both of you on the line. If you wanted to file a child abuse report and have Child Protective Services involved you could call Child Help at 1-800-422-4453.

If you want to talk more about your situation or explore options you can call or chat us at 1-800-786-2929, www.1800runaway.org.

Best,

NRS

[Guest]

I’m 14, I don’t have any extreme problems with my parents but I just don’t really enjoy living with them is there any way I could legally move out and have my own place soon?

[ccsmod4]

Reply: I’m 14, I don’t have any extreme problems..

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. You must be 18yrs old to legally move away from your parent’s. We understand sometimes things become frustrating and it’s hard to figure out how to set things right. NRS is here listen and here to help. If you would like to talk about your situation and explore options as to how you might reach some solution, please contact us by phone or chat.
We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
We hope to hear from you soon.

Take care,
NRS

We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us

[Guest]

im 15 years old and my parents both mentally and physically abuse me. i am definitely not a perfect child and i used to do bad things like stealing from my sister/ going through other peoples things when i was about 8-11. my dad now hits, calls me names and my step mom is always ridiculing me for no reason. i need help to get out of this situation but i dont know what to do.

[ccsmod9]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS