I'm 14 and I want to move out

[Guest]

I want to move in with my dad because my mom and step dad hate me they do everything in there power to make me look bad and they can care less about anything I do but for my half brother they would do anything for my mom threatens me and is always miserable to see me because I am a mistake I want to move into my own home I am about to turn 14 but I cant wait till im 17-18 to move out I need help I cant take it anymore

[ccsmod5]

Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. You’re very brave to reach out and talk about this. It sounds like you don’t feel like your mom and stepdad care about you, and you would prefer to live somewhere else. I imagine this must be a painful way for you to be feeling. It seems like you’re thinking about living with your dad. That sounds like a valid option. You can discuss it with your mom and stepdad to see if that could be an option for you. If you feel your dad would be supportive of you living with him, he may be able to help you talk to your mom. Another option you may have is getting involved in activities outside of home, like school clubs, activities at your local library or park district, or other things going on in your community. We understand it may feel like you have so much time until you can be on your own and that it can be painful. If you’d like to talk about this more in depth or discuss other options, feel free to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY, or if you prefer to text or use instant message, you can reach out to us through our chat line at 1800runaway.org or reach out to Crisis Text Line by texting HELLO to 741-741. Thanks again for reaching out, and we wish you the best.

[Guest]

I’m 14 and I want to move out. I have at least one friend that would take me in. I’m scared when I’m in my house because of my dad. He’ll screen at me for no reason and when it’s something small he’ll exaggerate it. He’s told me before that I could just move out and I wanted to but I had no where to go. I’m scared of my dad and he mentally abuses me. One day he’ll be nice the next he’ll be pissed and then he’ll give me death glares. I’m depressed and suicidal and he’s made me want to cut before because of how mentally abusive he is. I just don’t feel safe anymore at my house and I haven’t for at least two years.

[ccsmod15]

Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We want you to know that no one deserves to be abused, and you should not have to go through that. It sounds like you’ve been going through such a tough time, but we are here to support you and help you in any way we can.

We want you to know that if you ever feel that you are in danger, you could call 911 for immediate help. Also, if you haven’t already, you could consider reporting the abuse you’ve been experiencing. If you want more information about abuse reporting or if you want to file a report, you could call Child Help at 1-800-422-4453 or you could call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us online.

If you ever feel that you are in danger of hurting or killing yourself, you could call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255; suicidepreventionlifeline.org) or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us online. You mentioned some struggles with depression and mental health concerns. If you want further information about mental health resources, you could check out the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA); 1-877-726-4727; samhsa.gov; findtreatment.samhsa.gov/.

If you haven’t already, you could also consider reaching out to a trusted adult, relative, worker/teacher/counselor at your school for help and support.

It sounds like all of your struggles are making you consider leaving home and that you have a friend you may stay with. If you do decide to leave home, you could consider thinking about ways to make sure you stay safe. You could explore what you would do if you can no longer stay with your friend, ways you would pay for food, shelter, clothing and other necessary things. You could think about how long you would stay away, where you would stay, and what things would be like when you return. You could consider what you would do if you felt that you were in danger or had an emergency.

There are also many resources that could help you find a safe place or help you with anything else you may need. If you want to talk more about what’s been going on, or if you would like more information about resources, you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us online.

Again, thank you for contacting us. It sounds like you’ve been going through a really hard time, but you’ve shown a lot of strength by working through these challenges and reaching out for help. If you ever need anything in the future, please feel free to call us or chat with us online. We’re always here to listen and here to help.

[Guest]

Hello, I'm 14 as well. I want to move out this summer with my grandparents, but my mom isn't okay with it. I am treated really bad, especially when compared to my other siblings. Child Protective Services even got involved once because my dad left bruises on my arms, and it hasn't gotten much better since. I'm still hit, called names, and yelled at constantly. My moms more emotional and my dad physical, but they both have their fair share of both. I am called lazy, stupid, an idiot, a monster, and have been told that I am "destroying this family." My moms and dads behavior can be unpredictable and mentally exhausting because of this. I am really unhappy and I want to leave at the end of this school year, but I don't know if that is legal. My grandparents are okay with it but I'm quite sure I need parental consent. I am also extremely restricted from doing almost anything and I never get to leave the house, it's depressing... Also, if I did get to live with my grandparents, how would I attend school? Any help or advice would be appreciated. Thanks

[ccsmod15]

Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’ve been going through such a tough time, but we are here to support you and help you in any way we can. That sounds so hurtful to have those things going on at home.

We want you to know that no one deserves to be abused, and you should not have to go through that. We want you to know that if you ever feel that you are in danger, you could call 911 for immediate help. Just so you’re aware, it can sometimes be helpful to call Child Protective Services, even if they have been called in the past. They may be able to provide you with more help and make sure you’re safe. If you want more information about abuse reporting or if you want to file a report, you could call Child Help at 1-800-422-4453 or you could call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us online.

If you haven’t already, you could consider reaching out to a trusted adult, relative, worker/teacher/counselor at your school for help and support. You could also consider talking to your parents about how you’ve been feeling. Just so you’re aware, we have a conference calling service here where we could help mediate a conversation between you and your parents.

We’re not legal experts here at NRS. Generally it’s not illegal to leave home, but your mom could file a runaway report, the police could get involved, and they could bring you home. The people you’re staying with could potentially get in trouble for having you stay there. The policies may vary by each department. You could consider calling your local nonemergency police department to ask about their policies. We also have legal aid resources here if you have specific questions about the laws in your state.

It sounds like all of your struggles are making you consider leaving home. If you do decide to leave home, you could consider thinking about ways to make sure you stay safe. You could explore ways you would pay for food, shelter, clothing and other necessary things. You could think about how long you would stay away, where you would stay, and what things would be like when you return. You could consider what you would do if you felt that you were in danger or had an emergency.

There are also many resources that could help you find a safe place or help you with anything else you may need. If you want to talk more about what’s been going on, or if you would like more information about resources, you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us online.

Again, thank you for contacting us. It sounds like you’ve been going through a really hard time, but you’ve shown a lot of strength by working through these challenges and reaching out for help. If you ever need anything in the future, please feel free to call us or chat with us online. We’re always here to listen and here to help.

[Guest]

I can't live like this anymore. My house feels like a prison. It's heavily cluttered and dark and I can't leave. My family doesn't leave the house much. I have zero friends and I am afraid to go out the front door alone. My parents have managed to convince me that every man out there is a predator and that the world is a very bad and scary place. They won't send me to school because of shootings and bad influences. I'm 14 and I'm not allowed to watch a PG13 movie. It feels like I'm suffocating in here. I once got my phone taken away for months for asking questions about sex. They probably did it to try to maintain my innocence. I like girls but I can't tell because who knows what they would do. My mom constantly compares me to my younger siblings. I guess she doesnt want me to turn out like my older sister. It feels like I'm her do-over child. She always accuses me of stuff and insults me she is constantly threatening and cussing at me. My Dad yells a lot too. He always has but it hurts when he yells at me to pay attention and to stop acting stupid. My siblings are aggressive and get into several physical fights when my parents leave. It's like everyone's going crazy. I've been trying to run away for years but I've never really worked up the courage to cross the property line. I don't know what to do. I think that the whole situation is affecting my mental health and I just want to get out and actually live. I don't have any friends to take me in and I'm too young to get a job. Could I legally move out or could someone make them send me to school?

[ccsmod10]

Hey there,

Thanks for reaching out to NRS!

We are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. It can be very frustrating not knowing what to do or what your next step might be from this point on. It’s brave of you to reach out during your time of need.

It sounds like your home life is taking a toll on your mental health and isn’t a healthy environment for you. You are self-awareness is great and shows how strong you are. If you ever want to try to talk to your parents about how being overly controlling is effecting you, we offer conference calling services between youth and guardians. We're here if you need our help calling and talking to her about changes you want to be made in the home. You do deserve all the opportunities for happiness.

If you feel like leaving home is the right choice for you, we can look to see if there’s runaway shelters in your area. We’re non-directive at NRS, so we can’t tell you what to do but we can support you and try to keep you safe. Regarding you not being able to go school, that is considered neglect and against the law in many states. If you ever wanted to contact Child Protective Services, we can help you do that. There’s also Child Help, the national child abuse hotline, (800) 422-4453. They can also talk with you about what you’re dealing with at home and what reporting neglect would look like.

We’re here if you’d like to talk more about your situation. Our safeline is open 24/7. We also have a chatting service via our website, unfortunately, it is not always open. The best way to contact us would be to call in and talk with our trained liners.

Be well, NRS

[Guest]

I can take it anymore since I was small my mom would drink and party and hit me then my so call family would treat me like a slave like bossing around when thy could tell there own sons or daughters if one of them did something and I’m near I’m was in the wrong I start having trouble in school and got my parents call I guess I did for attention I’m not sure we’ll ones I got to middle school I will always have dention then I start to do what the people around me did and I got suspended to the point I had no choice but to transfer to another school which I had to move in with my dad I saw him as the nice one even though he was barely by my side in my childhood I still look up to him anyways so when I start to live with him I found out the hard way that he is strict I didn’t mind I saw as way to discipline me to be a good adult to be someone in the future but then I start to feel beneath him like every thing I did wasn’t good enough he will constantly fight to me every day we could be good in the moment and then him telling me stuff the other he ones call me useless saying a dog will be better than me that a dog would onleast bark and etc and to make matters worse I was bully in school since I was trying to change my life to be a better person I stayed away minding my own business not trying to get the attention of no one to live in peace well it didn’t work out I was picked on every day everyone laughing at me but I endure it for the year so I wouldn’t give my father trouble I start to do what I did before going to my phone or iPad and food for support witch now I’m 204 pounds because of that he would to me I will cry so much that my heart felt like it was gonna explode I just said to myself he just has stress cause financial issues and etc so I’m like is cool I’ll be his stress reliever is better for him to let it out on me than to keep it in well I was starting to break I start having WEIRD thought I work hard for him in the house all I show him is love so why why does he treat me like this I know I’m last almost all the time but when e tells me to do something even though if I don’t sometines do at the moment he says it I still do it even if I have to not sleep or anything anyways he want me to move back with my mom which is a no from me me and my mom cool now she visits me on Friday to Saturday and the reason is because we are. not to get her which lets her live her life her life in her way it’s out me interfering that why so I’ll like to keep it that way as for my 2 year in the new school I start to make friends and start fighting back up to I earn some respect now thy acknowledge me and for my current year 3 witch is 8th grade which is my last year I have friends and the others are my friends to like the one that we’re my enemies as well as a lot of the girls I no longer sit alone the teacher are my friends as well I only have problems with one kid and his girls which see me as bug base on their expressions but idc I don’t need them I have friends and I’m pretty popular cause I’m like one of the leaders in the school in total there’s 4 of us it doesn’t mean we do wat we want already I don’t the other kids just look up to us cause of our actions but well is cool there I like school I don’t hate it in fact I luv it I hate waking up I’m the morning but I still wake up and as for my problem Is my dad wants me to move out somewhere he said he’ll give me the child support cause that way he won’t have financial problems cause that way he could rent the whole house and not have to pay electricity water gas internet cable and he gets to make money and get out of his problems because of that he screams and makes fun of me and stuff so if I leave he’ll be better so I want to have a parting job and move out and pay a room or apt up to I can go to college get my degree or however u say it and earn money to live independent he will be better both physically mentally and financially and I will not feel down what do u recommend me to do

[ccsmod9]

Thank you for contacting us here at NRS. We know that you have been going through a really tough time and we are sorry that you are experiencing all these things. We know it can be hard and stressing. Our hope is to help give you tips and resources to help you make the best decision for yourself.
From what we read about your story it seems like you are looking for resources in your area. We would recommend reaching out to us either through our call line at (1-800-786-2929) or online through our chat option at (www.1800runaway.org) That way we can best help you through some options as gather more information in your area
Best Wishes- NRS

[Guest]

Ok I’ll call ya directly thank you bye for now

[ccsmod7]

Great! We so look forward to speaking with you.

You can call 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat us at 1800runaway.org

[Guest]

I am struggling at home. My dad hits me all of the time(for good reasons) and i wanna run away but ik my mom will call the police and i don’t wanna get the police or anyone else invloved. I just wanna go to my friends house and stay there for a couple of days. I love my mom, but se hates me.

[ccsmod3]

Hello there,

Thank you for reaching out to NRS and having the strength to share your story with us. We are sorry to hear about your situation and what you’ve been dealing with. Ideally, home would be a place where people feel safe, loved, and valued, and there is never a good reason to hit someone. You’ve been very courageous to reach out for help and try your best despite the circumstances.

It sounds like you’ve put a lot of thought into this. Although NRS is not a legal agency, we can try to give a general idea of possible outcomes if you were to run away and what it would mean when your mother filed a report. If you are considered a minor in your state, you are still under your parents’ guardianship, therefore at any point when you are gone, they are legally within their rights to file a runaway report. Being a runaway is a status offense, and while you would not be charged with a crime, if police came across you, they would probably return you home. Guardians could also potentially press charges against people, including your friend’s family, who took you into their care for “harboring a runaway;” these charges would be misdemeanors, but still criminal offenses.

You also mentioned instances of your father hitting you. We understand that trauma can be difficult to work through and that reporting may not be an option you are comfortable with. However, you do deserve to live in a safe place, and if you wanted to talk more about child abuse reporting or wanted support, Child Help (National Child Abuse Hotline) could be a resource for learning what reporting would look like. They are accessible by phone at 1-800-422-4453 and online at childhelp.org.

We’re sorry to hear that you feel that your mom hates you. Sometimes people don’t show affection in a way that we deserve. We would encourage you to reach out to adults, family members, and friends for emotional support. School personnel, like counselors and teachers, could also be a resource.

If you would like to talk about other resources and support, feel free to call our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or use our Live Chat.
We hope this information was helpful and take care.
National Runaway Safeline
[email protected] (Crisis Email)
1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

[Guest]

HI I'm 14. I feel like if I'm always being shamed at by my "aunt" she's not really my aunt just a friend my mom met 22 years ago and there like sisters. She acts like she controls me and took my Xbox and grounds me for the dumbest reasons like not putting dishes away. I can' stand sharing a room with her son he's 7 and really annoying. Always getting in my conversations, and just in all general invading my personal space. There mom doesn't care what they do because my cousin drew on the floor and never got in trouble just cause he's 7 means he doesn't have to act his age which at his age shouldn't be drawing on the floor. She says I'm to immature to play my games and says I act stupid. I know my situation isn't as bad as others but I can't stay here any longer or I'll go insane. I was offered by grandma to live with her but I don't know how to tell my mom. My dad isn't part of the picture he died 10 years ago from a seizure. I also can't see my therapist this Friday because it's her day off and I didn't see her last Friday because my mom, "aunt", and sister went shopping. I have to wait another week to see her and I can't wait to see her because I need to tell my mom. Maybe you guys can help me find a way to approach my mom telling her I want to move out. Thanks -Guest

[ccsmod2]

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline, we are here to listen and help.

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We are sorry to hear about your father and the tough time you are having with your “aunt”. It sounds like a very stressful and overbearing situation.

While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. You mentioned your grandma offering for you to stay with her which sounds like a great safe option. Is there anyone in your family or possible a friend of your mother you think can help? We do offer a conferencing option where we can 3 way you, your mom and us to discuss the situation at home. We would advocate on your behalf and do our best to come up with a mutually beneficially plan. If that is something you are interested in, please do not hesitate to reach us.

We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. If you would like to talk more in detail about your situation and discuss other options, please contact NRS at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or www.1800Runaway.org (live chat).

We hope that this information is helpful to you!
Take Care,
NRS

[Guest]

Hey, so I'm only 14, and I wanted to say that although I love my family, sometimes I get the feeling that they don't love me back, they gad mad at me and ground me for the simplest things, like getting 5% of the markdown in school just for handing in the project one day late. I've never told them that I want to leave but I just can't take it anymore. they yell at me and ground me and I just want all of this to stop.
Advice?

[ccsmod3]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It can be tough when parents yell at you and ground you. It sounds like they have a lot of high expectations and it may feel like they may not love you. We would encourage you to think about expressing your feelings to your parents as sometimes their can me a miscommunication with how parents discipline, show their love, or are trying to guide you to be the best you. And they may not be aware of how they are coming across.

Here at NRS we do offer a conference calling service where one of our crisis line staff can mediate a conversation to help support both you and your guardian to have a conversation and allow both perspectives to be heard. If you call into us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We would be happy to help support you in this.

We are here for you and will support you in anyway that we can. Please feel free to call into us directly as we can talk further about your situation and find resources that are best for you in your area. Stay strong and you are not alone in this! Our hotline ( 1-800-RUNAWAY) and chat are open 24/7.

-NRS

[Guest]

I'm 14, i do't get along with any of my family members, we get along when i go away but when i come back for long periods of time it feels like everyone is disappointed in me and we're arguing all the time. I love my parents I just can't stand to live with them, I have a few close friends that are more then happy to take me in and i've been considering it more and more lately.

[ccsmod3]

Hi. Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing part of your story with us. It sounds like you’re going through a very difficult time at home. It’s understandable why you’d want to remove yourself from an environment where a lot of arguing is taking place. It’s awesome that your friends seem to be so caring and generous to have offered you a place to stay. However, while you’re making a decision you may want to keep in mind that in most states you are still considered a minor at the age of 14. Although, we are not legal experts this typically means that you would need parental consent prior to leaving. If you decide to move out without your guardian’s permission then they would have the right to file a runaway report. This is important because if you come into any contact with police they could make you return home. In addition to this, your friend who you are caught living with could also be charged with something called harboring a runaway. We would love to talk with you a little bit more about your situation. Please do not hesitate to call us at 1800-runaway or via chat at 1800runaway.org. All the best ,NRS.

[Guest]

I’m 14 and I came out to my parents as transgender, THREE TIMES because they ignore it and push it aside and still treat me as a girl. I’ve given up trying to talk sense into them and my older brother who is 18 is extremely homophobic and transphobic. And my dad is very religious. I want to run away and be a normal boy and be treated like a boy. I know if I run away, I won’t have anywhere to live but all of my family members are religious and won’t let me stay with them. I really really cant live at home anymore because I literally go to sleep every night hoping I won’t wake up and I just don’t want to feel that way all the time. What do I do

[ccsmod0]

Hello,
Thank you very much for reaching out. It seems as though you have a lot on your plate and you are doing your best in navigating this situation. It must be extremely hurtful for your family to not support you in who you are. You deserve to be accepted, especially by family members.
You mention that you are considering running away. Have you mentioned to your parents that you feel unheard in your home? Considering what you have already mentioned about your parents, it is completely understandable how you feel like you cannot stay in the home any longer. Our number one concern and priority is your safety. If and when you run away, have you thought about who you would stay with and how you would be surviving? This is a lot to deal with on your own-have you spoken to any trusted person in your life about what has been going on? Furthermore, you mentioned that you often think about going to sleep and not wanting to wake up-have you been thinking about suicide? If so, please do not hesitate to reach out to The Trevor Project as 1-866-488-7386. for some support. In addition, there is the Trans Lifeline at 1-877-565-8860.
Again, we are glad that you decided to reach out. It is clear to us that you are an incredibly strong person and we want you to be safe and supported. And please do not hesitate to call us at 1-800-Runaway if you would like to further talk about what’s been going on. We are 24/7 and toll free. We are here to listen and to help.

[Guest]

I’m 14 and I need to leave. My family’s a bit messed up but it’s not that bad. My mom is an alcoholic. She drinks every 2nd night. But she doesn’t abuse me or anything. The problem is that I hate school and I don’t have any proper friends. I have people in my class who I talk to often but no proper friends. I eat lunch with this friend group which I’m not appart of. I don’t fit in with them or anywhere. I feel so alone. Every time I try to explain to my mom this, she just gets very tired of it. Which really hurts me because it’s my life that I have to deal with but she is just bored of it. I don’t know what to do. I use to cut and drink. But not anymore. Last time I drank was around February and last time I cut was September 2017. But I hate going to school, it’s like a horrible routine that never ends. I hate it. I feel like I’m just living for the weekend constantly. I don’t live near friends either or anything. I live in the middle of nowhere, so I feel so isolated.
please help me.

[ccsmod3]

Hi there thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. It takes a lot of courage to share what has been going on with your family and school. We appreciate you reaching out and we are here to listen. We are going to talk about a few things and if you feel comfortable reaching out again we are here 24/7 over the phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY or on our online chat system at 1800runaway.org.
It sounds like from what you shared you are having a difficult time at school and with your family. It seems hard to cope with your mom’s drinking and it sounds like it has been affecting you. If you feel comfortable, you can think about trying to talk to your mom about her drinking and how it affects you. You also do not have to do this alone, bringing in a friend/family member/trusted teacher or guidance counselor could help advocate for you and help your mom see things from a different perspective. SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) is a great resource that can help look into services for your mom and yourself about coping with her drinking actions. They can be reached at (877-726-4727) and have a website at samhsa.gov.
School seems to be difficult as you said eating lunch with people you do not feel close to and not living close to people. We know you mentioned you used to drink and cut to cope and we do want to say that it is a huge accomplishment that you have not done either in over 8 months. That takes a lot of strength and we are always here to talk about coping methods and just here to listen and brainstorm about your situation and try to help as best as we can. We truly do care about you and are always here to talk.
Again, we thank you for reaching out, we understand the bravery it must have taken to share what has been going on. If you do want to talk further, we are always going to be here and you do not have to hesitate to reach back out. We hope to hear from you soon!

[Guest]

I’m a 14 year old girl and me and my dad get in fights a lot my mum always picks his side and I’m sick of it my grandmother is allowing me to stay up there but I keep getting called back down I don’t feel safe with my parents anymore and I’ve tried running away, recently my father hurt my mum and she called the police but she has brought him back in, he knows she won’t kick him out for long. When my mum isn’t here he bullies me and I’m getting sick of it I tell my mum but she won’t listen it’s breaking me

[ccsmod9]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

hello , im 14 and stressed out , my dad abuses my brother about exams and also bullies me and my mum always takes his side and i talk to my mum about it and she always says that she is going to smash my phone or every family is like this and i never get a say in anything and i do not love my dad nor my mum. i want to live by myself legally . Any advice ?

[ccsmod5]

Hi,
Thank you for reaching out. It sounds like things at home are really stressful right now and it’s understandable that you would want to live somewhere else. No one deserves to be abused or bullied. We want you to know that not all families behave in this way; you deserve to be supported and loved and it’s frustrating that your mother would suggest that your situation is “normal” or typical for families. We’re not sure about the details of the situation, but some resources that you might find helpful are the following:
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-866-331-9474
National Child Abuse Hotline (aka Child Help): 1-800-422-4453
If you ever feel like you, your mom, or your brother are in danger, you can always call 911.
Regarding your question about living by yourself…in the United States, you would generally need to be at least 18 years old to live by yourself unless you are emancipated. Emancipation is a legal process that would make you your own legal guardian; typically, a young person can petition for emancipation at age 16. This process can be lengthy and costly. If you’d like to learn more about that process, your best resource would be a lawyer.
It must be frustrating feeling like you never get a say in family conversation. That must be lonely and upsetting. One thing to consider if you haven’t already is talking with your family about how it feels when they treat you poorly. We can help facilitate that conversation if you need support with that. If that doesn’t feel like an option, it can still be a good idea to talk to an adult you trust (teacher, guidance counselor, coach, friend’s parent, local pastor/rabbi/other religious leader, etc). That adult can help you file an abuse report if necessary or just help you get the support and love you deserve.
Thank you again for reaching out. If you ever need additional resources, a listening ear, or someone to help you figure out your options, we are always here. Our number is 1-800-786-2929. We hope to hear from you. Stay strong!
--NRS