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I'm 14 and I want to move out

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I'm 14 and I wanna move out. I'm done with my older brother's smart ass remarks and the way he changes in the blink of an eye, he'll be nice but all of a sudden be a total dick out of nowhere. My Dad went to jail because he burnt my mom when I was like 3 and is now working as a roofer, my mom works 2 jobs one 9-5 and the other is respite work for older folks. The main person I absolutely despise is my mom's boyfriend, a surviving cancer patient smoking pretty much 3 packs of cigarettes a day, he smokes whenever he gets a chance, he drinks way too much coffee so his breath smells like ass all the time, and is 15 years older than my mom. Like wtf dude.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod4
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi,
    Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline.

    It sounds like you are in a tough situation and may be looking for some options to help cope with everything.
    We understand how difficult it must have been to speak about what has been going on and how it has made you feel.
    You are very brave for doing so. Good for you.
    NRS would like you to know we are here to support you at this difficult time.



    NRS is here to listen and here to help.
    Having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of.
    Let us know how we might help, please contact us at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) orwww.1800Runaway.org (live chat).

    We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

    Take care,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Me and my mom have a very unhealthy relationship. I want to change that but I don't know how. I have two little sisters (2 and that get all the attention. I understand they're a lot but I don't remember the last time told me she loved me. I haven't felt love from her or my dad in years. I have places I could go but I'm only 15. Also my sisters both have their own rooms but my parents make me sleep on the couch. They also all have dressers and beds and nice shoes while I live out of a suitcase. Plz tell me I need to stay, or I don't know.
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 10-15-2020, 12:47 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
    While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
    We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by forum to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I am 13 and turning 14 in January 2021 and I really don't want to stay at home anymore. The other day, I got into an argument with my neighbors that they started which led to a fight and when the parents asked the neighbors about it and they lied straight to everyone's face and when I told the correct story, my parents didn't believe me. Later that night, I was playing with some bb guns with my friend and my friend accidentally shot his brother and apparently the other kid (neighbor) got shot too and my parents immediately blamed it all on me, of course. Just like that, they always get mad and scream at me for the smallest of things like whenever I am only trying to help get things done like cleaning, by telling my little siblings what to do in order to be a little more controlled, quiet, and get things done. Also, not doing the massive amount of chores and jobs, and even though I do them, they refuse to pay me even a little bit. They also just recently said I wasn't allowed to go outside and hang out with my best friend who lives in my neighborhood just because of those things. My parents take everything away from me and hardly ever give things to me. They took away my computer that I paid in full for so I am currently typing this on a school issued laptop in study hall because I am not allowed to do anything on my computer or phone (that I payed for). They have threatened multiple times to not allow me to use a school computer, but now with the virus I use a computer in every class for every assignment, so I told them that I needed to use it for school and they threatened to pull me out of school and do everything on paper with someone with no teaching experience. I get grounded very often and am not able to talk to my friends because of this. I had a girlfriend that moved away and I really enjoyed having her to talk to, and she helped me keep motivation to keep pushing through this and my parents found out, they were mad at me so they demanded that I break up with her and that I am not allowed to date until I'm 16. For the smallest things, I get screamed at, cursed out and called a retard on the regular. I want to move in with my friend, Andrew so badly but I am too afraid to ask my parents because I feel like they would scream at me and scare me and call me stupid like usual. My friend's parents are nice, and I feel like living with them would be a MUCH safer environment to live in and keep my business going to I can pay them back for letting me stay with them.

    I really need help, so if you have any suggestions, let me know .

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod1
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension, it sounds rough to be so isolated from other people! Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

    You mentioned that there was a previous "suicide" attempt and that you have been having suicidal thoughts and self-harming and it raises concern for your well being. You do not have to face this alone, and there is so much help out there for you. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline could be a good resource for you. You can check them out at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/, or you can call 1-800-273-8255 for help and support any time. There is also an organization called To Write Love on Her Arms which is dedicated to supporting people who use self-harm as a coping mechanism, with their journey of self-realization and recovery. You can check them out by going to https://twloha.com/.

    You mentioned that there was some sexual abuse that you think might be affecting how you've been feeling. You do not deserve to have this happen to you, and we believe and support you. You are a survivor and you are incredibly strong and resilient. It can be really hard to deal with this alone and sometimes it’s helpful to reach out to additional agencies for support. One really great resource for all survivors of sexual assault or abuse is RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network). You can call them any time 24/7 at 1-800-656-4673, or go to www.rainn.org to use their online hotline. RAINN is the National Sexual Assault Hotline and has a lot of services, support and resources that you may find helpful.

    If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

    Stay safe,
    NRS

    We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hello.
    I am 13 almost 14, and I really want to move out/start over. I love my parents very much, but they have been very over controlling to a point which I now want to restart my life. I have never gone to school, and I am now doing college work online in my house. I am half way through my associates degree, and it has all been online. My father doesn't really want me to be "exopsed" to the outside world, so basically I'm not really allowed contact with "outside" people. If he finds out that I'm posting this (he reviews my URL's and internet activity occasionally) I don't know what will happen. When I was younger, I was caught self harming and my mother got pissed at me and my dad threatened to take away any privacy I had. There was not a trace of concern. After my first "suicide" attempt, which at the time was just me naively drinking a bottle of hand sanitizer, my brother immediately reported it to his girlfriend and then told me to go to my mother (who at the time was dead asleep), who later said that it was stupid. Ever since suicidal thoughts have been a daily for me, and my parent see that I'm upset and say that they can talk about whatever is going on. They don't realize that I am just dealing with the outcome of a sexuall abuse incident not being taken care of properly and being sheltered for my whole life. I feel like I am being kept form making my own healthy mistakes, and at this point I don't have a single friend, I'm not allowed to do anything online with human contact, and I spend my time doing college work in my house (which I rarely ever leave). I know that they think they are doing what is right, but they don't realize that I would rather be dead than live like this. I want to run away and restart, but I don't actually have anywhere to go and I don't want to hurt them in the end.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    It seems like you posted on another thread as well but to make things easier here is our reply to that one here as well: Hey there,
    Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline, it seems like you are going through a lot right now and it is understandable to be upset and feel frustrated by how you are being treated differently from your other siblings. You don’t deserve to have everything taken away for small things while your siblings get a slap on the wrist and an apology instead. It seems like your mom is holding you to different standards than your other siblings and it might be worth thinking about the reasons for this to find out what you might be able to do to lessen the load on yourself. It seems like you have other stress as well and you deserve to have support through this instead of extra pressure and confusion.
    You mentioned experiencing emotional abuse which may be reportable against your mom. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made.
    If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.
    If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
    We hope to hear from you soon.
    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hello there,
    Im 14 about to be 15 I have been wanting to leave my house for the longest time I just dont know when the perfect time is, A lot of the times I feel like if my parent dont love Im the only one who is ALWAYS getting yelled at and I take it I dont like to show my emotion in front of anyone and sometimes i just feel like bawling my eyes out, my mom is usually always getting mad at me for the most simplest thing and i honestly do feel like if she enjoys calling me names to just make herself feel better.Whenever my mom get mad at me for getting my attitude she usually dosent talk to me for three weeks but yet when my sibling do something worse she does get mad but she talks to them the next day and that always hurts my feeling because i fell like me being born was just an accident and she really didnt want me and thats the reason she loves taking everything out on me.Most of the time i do have my attitude toward my parents because of the way they treat me but they dont have the time or they just dont care for them just to ask how I feel and whats the reason to. I usually get so tired of waking up everyday not wanting to be in this house because everyday its always the same thing over and over and my parents always expect me to do everything around the house to the point were i cant even to stuff myself and my still calls me lazy ungrateful and many more thing and its sad because i would never think my mom would treat me the way she does and its very hurtful
    I would really apprectiate if you would answer back


    -Thank you

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there thanks for reaching out,
    It seems like you are very worried about your words being taken literally and that your guardians will kick you out because you told them it wouldn’t change. It is understandable to be worried about how they will react and that they will take things really seriously.
    However, you mentioned that they are your legal guardians currently which means that if they were to kick you out without an alternative they could face child neglect charges if they did so. Since this is the case they are likely to make a runaway report if you do leave and police would look for you and try to bring you back home. Talking with them does seem like a good idea since you have changed your mind since the last time you talked with them. It might help to come with some readymade ideas for compromise or ways you can change and improve. Having some clear goals can help you to know exactly what is expected and help them know what is reasonable to expect.
    If you do end up leaving we want you to know there are ways to stay safe and avoid ending up dehydrated alone somewhere. There are many emergency youth shelters that we can look to see if there is one in your area that your guardians might be able to bring you to if you all can’t come to an agreement.
    Again, thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
    We hope to hear from you soon.
    Be safe, NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I'm 14 and I don't know what to do in this situation that I put myself in, I've lied to my parents( my parents are my aunt and my uncle they are my legal guardians) a lot of times and this time they told me basically to go outside and think if you want to change or not if you can't than you have to move out with your family out there, and I went back inside and told them I can't change but, I made the worst decision of my life because I can change and I know that and I didn't really think anything through about what would happen if I said I can't change because there's no one that is willing to take me in and I'm actually glad no one will take me because I want to change and I want to stay here and better myself so, i'm going to try to talk to my aunt and uncle tonight and see if they are willing to give me one more chance but, if they say that I've already made my decision and can't go back on it then I'm probably going to runaway today and btw I'm not suicidal but, I'm going to runaway and just go to somewhere they won't find me unless they try maybe( I don't think they will) and just die of dehydration, I don't know what to do can you help me?

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Did you guys get my post? for aunt and uncle one?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod4
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi,
    Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline.
    It sounds like you are in a tough situation and may be looking for some options to help cope with everything. We would like to be of assistance to you if we can. It is times like these that would be nice to have a listening ear. It is also important that you remember to exercise self- care. You showed some by reaching out to NRS. Good for you. What you have been going through sounds unfair. You do not deserve to be treated badly by your dad. It’s not your fault that he behaves this way. It sounds like emotionally you may be feeling abused. Your feelings are important and they matter.
    You are deserving as anyone that wants to be happy.

    We understand how difficult it must have been to speak about what you have been feeling.
    You are very brave for doing so. Good for you.
    NRS would like you to know we are here to support you at this difficult time.
    NRS is here to listen and here to help.
    Having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of. We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

    Let us know how we might help, please contact us at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) orwww.1800Runaway.org (live chat).


    Take care,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I'm almost 14 and I want to move out. My parents are divorced and my dad has full custody and I haven't been able to see my mom since May. He said that he was waiting for a court date because he thinks she shouldn't get to see us anymore. My dad just expects way too much from me. I get good grades and I am well behaved with good manners. I've made a couple of tiny mistakes and I have no privacy now or any time to be a kid. Over quarantine I said one comment to my dad (which I normally never do) and got my door taken off. He went through my underwear door and took out all of my "sexy" underwear. He went through my stuff again and took over half of my jeans and shirts saying that they were too inappropriate. At one point he took all my leggings and jeans away and forced me to wear the same sweatpants to school everyday. Every time I think about him I just want to hurt myself because he is the one person that makes me feel like I'm not good enough. He caught me cutting like a year ago and put me into a mental facility which was horrifying. He never pays attention to me and he threatens me all the time saying, "you should be glad that I'm not abusive because I would beat the sh** out of you right now." Last night he went to check and see if I was sleeping and he got mad that my room was messy and punched my door. Waking up my sister. He is insane and I can't live with him for another 4 years of my life. Every time that I try and say my side of the story I'm always "back talking" them and it's not fair. When I go over to friend's houses I see how happy their family is and it makes me feel horrible. Another thing over quarantine, was that I wanted to stay the night at one of my friend's houses and he said that in order for me to go I had to give him my usernames and passwords to all my social media accounts and he signed me out of all of them. Every day I wish that he wasn't my dad and that I'm dreaming. And then other times I hate myself for thinking like this because so many other people have it far worse. I just don't know what to do anymore.
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 10-02-2020, 05:04 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod4
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

    We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things in your life right now.
    It sounds like you’re fearing that the stress from the situation is getting harder and harder to handle.
    We are sorry you are going through a tough emotional time.
    Having your parent’s fight and do things that are unsafe for you and your siblings must be upsetting and frustrating.
    Sometimes when things are too stressful it might help to talk with someone about it.
    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this.
    NRS is here to listen and here to help.
    We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
    If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    You are welcome to discuss your situation and talk about possible options for help. What you did today by reaching out was great. Good job.

    We hope to hear from you soon.

    Take care,
    NRS
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