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  • I'm 14 and want to live with a friend. My mom is emotionally abusive at times, rarely physically abusive, but also really nice and supportive sometimes.

    She's a lot nicer around other people, or when on calls, but over time she becomes more and more like herself around them, eventually they say she's telling and how she's mean, she starts a fight (usually she's yelling and not letting the other person talk, always stating the other person is wrong.) and then she ends the friendship. I have no relation with my dad, one of my siblings live with us, the others don't. I'm used to people coming and going due to all the people being kicked out of our life.

    I'm homeschooled, and haven't been doing any school since July because she wants us to do house work instead. The house work never ends, really. It's cluttered and everything gets moved from one spot to another, then more cleaning happens. I don't have phone service, and only one Irl friend I frequently talk to because they're related to mom's friend.

    I want to live with my friend and her mom, she has a good houses a nice family and we call each other sister. We get along well, and I told her a small percent of what happens in the house and she said it's called verbal abuse multiple times. I've been aware, and we've been under numerous cps investigations (One ending currently) but he always acts so different when they're here. The cps workers say there's nothing wrong with the household, and then she goes around saying how they red nothing wrong when really cos doesn't know the whole story.

    I'm scared if telling anyone due to how she might react if she knows I've told anyone, she'd find a way o get through it and my life with her would be worse.

    I rarely get time to myself, I usually focus on cleaning the house. I have symptoms of adhd (badly) and I get yelled at when I show them. She says I learned them from stupid people and to stop, when I can't. This causes her to tell at me and say I'm not trying, or I can do it I'm just not doing it, or that I need to stop 'acting like the dumbasses'. She's really supportive and nice sometimes, but it changes so fast. One minute she could be happy, the next minute she could be yelling at you and be pissed off the rest of the day because you asked her which tea she wanted and how 'you should already know'. Or because you repeated something.

    She lies. She lies about what I know and what I do. She yelled at me earlier because I reported something, but later told her friend and even ME that I repeated many times while laughing about it when t wasn't a funny thing, which I didn't do. She says she told me to do things, and later yells at me for not doing it, when she never told me to. Or, she tells me to do things drags me away from it to do another thing, and yells at me when I don't finish the thing she dragged me away from. Sometimes he even says she told me nicely multiple times to do a thing and I didn't do it until she yelled at me, which isn't true because usually she says to do the thing and I do it that one. Or she just straight up yells about it without nicely asking.

    She tells people she only yells at me when I zone out because she 'has' to. Which isn't true. She hates t when I cry, and I feel scared to cry. I never talk back I only repond with 'yes', 'no', or a nod/ head shake. I can't ever disagree with her even if she's wrong. I can't correct her. She rarely physically hurts me bt sometimes she threatens to. In September she slapped me and threw me to the ground after flaking me names, I was scared and ran away for the first time. She called me a coward. She rarely says thins like "you're an idiot." Instead she says "you're ACTING like an idiot, I know you aren't one." When the thing I did was something I really did and I didn't purposefully do it to 'act like I don't know how to do something.' So it really feels like she is calling me one. Although in September when she got me, etc, she did call me a retard, an idiot, and threatened me multiple times. Today she threatened to beat me if I sat an object in the wrong spot.

    She acts like I know more than I do, when she doesn't even give me time to learn what he thinks I know. He says I'm great at coding to the point organizations have tried to take my stuff, when I haven't even been able to write an entire script due to not being given enough time to learn it. Then, she expects me to meet her expectations of what she thinks I am and tells when I'm unable to. She says nothing's wrong with me, when in reality, I have bad symptoms of Adhd, ocd, anxiety, depression, etc. I've never had a therapist, or a chance to be diagnosed with anything.

    She wants us to live in a trailer and travel around, which is scary because we'll be around less people and in the middle of nowhere more. Which gives more chances for emotional abuse (and a little of physical). She knows I'm not good with change, and the areas she wants to be in make me feel terrible.

    She yells about how she'd be better off alone and how she hates people.

    I don't know what to do. I'm scared to talk to her about it, because I know it'd end up in her yelling and nothing better. I've witnessed it a lot. Again, I can't do anything but agree with her.

    I really want to live with my friend and her mom, I told them about mom's idea of a trailer and how I didn't like it. They asked if I had anyone to stay with while moms in a trailer. I don't have any family I can go to, unlike my other siblings that did. Either way, mom would most likely have me stay with her.

    I'm almost certain my friend and her mom would be okay with me being with them, they have extra rooms and my friend is an only child, but has said it'd be nice having me around all the time. They even mentioned the chance of me staying with them while mom in the trailer (although again, mom would probably not let me.).
    They're nice people, and I kind of count them as family too. I know I'd have a better live if I we're with them, and my friend would probably be much happier too. She said it's better with me around because she has someone to be with. Except I don't see that ever happening. They live 25-45 minutes away in car though. Luckily mom's allowed one sleepover every now and then, which is how we see each other
    Butt mom's gotten worse lately with the emotional abuse. What do I do?

    Comment


    • ccsmod6
      ccsmod6 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi There,

      Sounds like things are really challenging at home. It was brave of you to reach out and are glad you did. It sounds like you have experienced some emotional abuse, which had an instance of getting physical. That is never okay and you deserve to be in a home in which you feel safe and comfortable. You do have an option of making an abuse report. We can help you do that. There is also an amazing resource called Child Help, which can be reached at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org. They also can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation, as we are not legal experts at NRS.

      It is great that you have a friend, who you could ask to stay with. If your mom doesn’t want you to stay somewhere else, it may be something to consider that that her mom is your mom’s friend, so she could make you go home. Or, perhaps you could get your friend’s mom to talk to her, even having the three or four of you sitting down. At NRS we offer conference calls, if you wanted to call us and then we call your mom, we could be there with you on the phone to have that sort of negotiation. At NRS, we don’t take sides, the goals of these calls is to arrive at a compromise.

      Please reach out if you have any questions or want to chat. We are available 24/7 for phone calls and chats and want to help. Hope this helps.

      Be safe and best of luck,
      NRS

  • Hi, Im 14 years old and I want to get the hell out of my house, my parents are what you woukd consider toxic parents. being around them is like being around a ticking time bomb. they put an immense anount of stress on me when it comes to school, and they always, and i mean ALWAYS, punish me for the slightest thing. My mom takes my phone constantly because i “have an attitude” but i think its just her excuse to get me off it. i would put it down if she asked but she always has to jump to extreme measures. like I said i want to runaway, i would probably go live with my ex (my mom made me break up with him) and then go from there. i know that she can file a runaway child report, but would they actually catch me? im so tired of being pushed and pushed and pushed, this has been going on for years. sometimes its even physical and it scares me. there was this girl who was just trying to clear up some things and my mom got the notification because she is logged into my instagram and she read it. she asked me what its about and honestly i had no clue. my mom wouldnt let me respond, instead SHE wanted to take matters into her own hands and “finish it for me” i started crying because i hate when my mom handles things for me because it ends in more unnecessary drama. then my dad comes over and starts screaming at me because all i ever do is cause drama and blah blah blah, and i kinda snapped i was just screaming back at them trying to explain but then my dad granned me my the shoulder and it hurt a lot, he then pushed me over onto the couch and pinned me there by my shoulder, i was actually really scared. i dont want to call CPS because i feel like they would just tell me “oh all parents can be a little physical sometimes” and that would scare me because what if my parents found out? anyways yes i need to runaway because my mental health is really deteriorating and im borderline seriously depressed.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello –

      Thank you for contacting us here at the National Runaway Safeline. We understand that it takes great courage to reach out. We are sorry to hear about your situation, no one deserves to be treated that way, especially by someone who is supposed to be a support system for you.

      It is important to know that you have options and resources to help advocate for yourself. A great resource for you could be the National Child Abuse Hotline. You can reach them at 1-800-422-4453. You can call them anonymously to learn about the abuse reporting process, or directly report abuse to this line. They are a good resource for talking through your options if there is verbal/physical abuse going on at home.

      If you are looking for a mental health resource you can call the NAMI Warm-Line at 877-910-9276. They can be a great support system for working through your mental health concerns.

      In regards to running away. We are happy to talk through your options with you. To learn more about this option give us a call 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

      We hope the information provided helps. Remember we are available 24/7 and can be toll-free reached at the number listed above. We are confidential, anonymous, and non-direct. We can also be reached via live chat anytime.

      Best Wishes

      ~NRS

  • I’m 14 years old and I want to move out or find a new family because the one I have are very ungrateful they make fun of me call be names and they even. Think I have a problem when in fact all I have is depression and anxiety they don’t know that because I don’t like talking to them they expect me to talk to them about my problems when they criticize me about everything they call me dumb and they think I’m not going to SUCCED In life when in fact I’m trying my best at times and in my mind I think I will SUCCED I try my best to do everything that I can for them but instead they try there best to either yell at me or call me names yes I know I’ve been in the wrong at times but that has no reason for them to always bring it up but it’s okay I forgive them for it so I just want to runaway or find a new family if anyone can help me out please reply I stay in North Carolina and please don’t tell my parents about this thank you so much god bless

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. You certainly don't deserve to be called nasty names or treated unfairly. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options.

      While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.

      We are here as support to help through this challenging time but need a bit more information to see how we can assist. The best way for us to help is for you to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us via the chat feature on our website: www.1800runaway.org. We hope to hear from you soon. And we know you can be a success if you put your mind to it!

      All the best,
      NRS

  • i am a 14 year old girl, living in Dongara Western Australia, i really hate where i an at the moment, my mum died 3 years ago and i havnt seen my real dad since i was about 5, i have to live with my aunty and uncle who are horrible, my uncle drinks every night and my auntys a heavy smoker, i have a little brother and a big one but only my little one lives with me, my older one moved out and now lives in Perth, i would reallt reallyyyy love to get out of this place before i do something dumb

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.

      We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

  • I've lived with both of my parents separately. They objectify me and neither of them know who I really am as a person. My mom doesn't have a healthy life and she sometimes will forget my needs. I will try to talk to her, but she either ignores me, blows it off, or she yells at me for saying it. A simple conversation with my mom will always end in tears and disappointment. My dad is semi healthy, but his beliefs directly clash with mine and he neglects all of my illnesses saying that all of them are in my head. I'm not good enough for him. I'm slowly losing all my friends. I'm done with everything. I wish I could live with my siblings, but they live in the North and I live in the Midwest. They also shouldn't have to carry the responsibility of a 14 year old at 24 and 20. I feel like an object that's purposefully shaped in one way so that my only purpose is to please others. And I can't even do that. I want to leave my house so badly but I have no one. Nobody loves me enough. Please help me.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. Living between two houses can be difficult, especially when you have other challenges and needs that you don’t feel like are being met. It might be worth looking into counseling or activities that can help you build up self-esteem without relying on your parents as much.
      We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
      Having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of. We are here as support to help you and your friend through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      We’re here to listen and to help and hope you or your friend can reach out soon.
      Take care,
      NRS

  • so my mom yells at me daily and when i get home from wherever i come home from im always getting yelled at and my mom took away my door so i dont feel like i dont have any privacy and i want to go away and i was hoping you guys could help me say something to help say the right thing to my mom about me moving out with my girlfriend

    so when i was a few years younger my dad used to beat me and due to that it makes me really sad and when i try to talk to my mom about it she just changes the subject and she does so many things that makes me depressed and i wish that i could get out of the house morw but everytime i leave even to go on a quick jog or run she calls my brothers amd cousins and asks them if they have seen me and her trust issues with me because of my brother have gotten so bad she has put a tracker app on my phone.

    the other day i was talking to my girlfriend about it and her parents have said that if my mom is ok with it i can go live with them but like im not at all sure how to approach my mom about this topic and she always yells at me when i try and talk about my feelings about her yelling at me and i just really need help and ive told her about my depression but she says its all fake and ive asked for her to take me to a counselor or therapist but she wont ever take me to one
    Last edited by ccsmod0; 11-17-2020, 05:06 AM.

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on with your mom and wanting to move in with your girlfriend's family. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
      While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
      The easiest way to leave home is with your parents' permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.
      We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). If you would like to look into further emotional support options, you can text with a crisis worker at the National Alliance on Mental Illness 24/7 by texting "NAMI" to 741741.
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • Hi, I'm 14 and I'm ready to leave the house. It's nothing due to abuse, physical abuse, but I have toxic parents and mental abuse. They doubt me, belittle my opinions and myself, and are very controlling. I have As, well behavior, and I'm very independent. I do my chores every day, and they still think I don't do enough. My dad works all day, and my mom sleeps or shops all day, so I'm left to watch my nephews and brother, and tutor them in school, make them food, clean up their messes. The basic standards an adult would do. I feel like I'm the only adult and mature one in this house. My mom spends money constantly, and when she doesn't get her way she cries and turns my dad against me. My sister and I have felt this way for a long time, living in a family of 8. I buy the food, I make the grocery lists, and with my own money buy food for my family. I even bought a cat, and take care of her myself. I'd say I'm the only prepared financially, and very much like an adult person in my family. I have a job, yes at 14, I'm a model. I want to go to places, and they won't let me. No phone, no tv, not even a computer. I want to move out into an apartment/townhouse which I can afford with my cat Willow. They won't pursue my modeling career outside of Utah. If I can financially support myself, and I have a career with agencies, I think I should be allowed to move out. This house I live in is very toxic, my brother's had the cops called on him, my sister tried ending her life 5 times, my other sister was taken to the hospital for drug handling, and I feel like they do trust me as an adult, but no one in my family notices all the things I have to do to take responsibility for them. It's a very toxic mess, every one is manipulative, and turns against each other. I'm tired of my parents verbally abusing me, and using me to manipulate other people. I'm also tired of them comparing me to my little brother (the angel). One time it was around 3 am, and I hadn't done the dishes. My mom was yelling for hours telling me to get up and clean the house at 3 am, and then when I finished she told me to clean the garage because I had slept for too long at 3 a.m. I'd like to move out, and I think I could, My sister had already moved out and has a son, I was thinking that because she isn't very well off, single mother, divorced, that with my help we could move into a very nice townhouse where we shared half the bill. I think that by doing this, I can pursue my career, and mentally recover.
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 11-21-2020, 01:33 AM.

    Comment


    • ccsmod4
      ccsmod4 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,
      Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

      We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We would like to be of assistance to you if we can. It is times like these that would be nice to have a listening ear. It is also important that you remember to exercise self- care. You showed some by reaching out to NRS. Good for you. What you have been experiencing sounds very unfair. You do not deserve to be treated this way by your parents. It’s not your fault that they behave this way. Your feelings are important and they matter.
      You are deserving as anyone that wants to be happy.

      NRS is here to listen and here to help.
      It sounds like you are really responsible and independent.
      We would be glad to speak with you about strategies or options that might help you to cope better with your situation.
      We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more about your situation and we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

      You did a wonderful job reaching out today. Good for you.
      We look forward to hearing from you.


      Take care,
      NRS

  • Im 14, I don`t know what I should do I want to live somewhere else but my mom doesn't abuse me but she screams at me, and is so nice to my brother. If she has a bad day she takes it all out on me. She always is making me do everything for her and my stress level is through the ceiling. What should I do

    Comment


    • ccsmod16
      ccsmod16 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out to us; we are glad that you did. It sounds like things are really hard and stressful for you with your mom screaming at you and blaming her bad day on you. That is not fair and it is understandable that your stress level is so high.

      We wonder whether you have anyone to talk to about this? Even talking to your friends and getting their support will help get some of the stress out. The best way for us to help you is to have a conversation with you either by phone or live chat. Through www.1800runaway.org for chat or 1800-786-2929

      We truly hope to hear from you soon
      Sincerely
      NRS

  • Im a 14 year old girl I cant do this anymore im at the point where i wanna kill my self my parents make me take pills for adhd but i dont think i even have that and i think the pills are making me deeply depressed im sad all the time ive stopped worrying ablut wearing makeup and ive been laying in bed by myself alot to try to get away from them they only want me to clean,they are very mean and i just went through alot with my family i gave my dad a chance he was mean so i moved in with my mom my mom beat me and killed my cat by choking it and she took me to dope houses with her and made me sit outside with a bunch of men my uncle beat me too he lived with me and my mom and he hurt me bad then i moved back in with my grandma and granpa thats where im at now they are mean and they treat me like crap our hpuse is yellow on the walls from cigarettes and i go to school getting told i smell like cigs cause my house is so bad im already insecure about how ugly i am i dont wanna worry about how i smell like cigs my im at the point where i just wanna die if i cant get out of here im sorry.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
      It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services. Another good option to learn about mental health for yourself is https://nami.org/Home
      Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
      If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
      We hope to hear from you soon.
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • I’m 13 but planning to run away once I’m 14 because my stepdad is a scammer in a Bitcoin company and he stole lots of people’s money and I don’t want to live under his name, his stolen money, and his disgusting company but I can’t just move in with my dad because he works a lot and he already doesn’t have enough money to take proper care of his cats and he isn’t supportive of me so I don’t know what to do. I thought about getting a job and moving to a different city/town but I don’t know what I could do to make money and where I’d go, all I know is I don’t want to live this stupid life where I’m controlled by him.

    Comment


    • ccsmod3
      ccsmod3 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there! Thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we're glad you did. It sounds like you're pretty unhappy at home, which is understandable since you don't agree with some of the choices your stepdad has made. If you're open to it, it might be a good idea to try and have a conversation with your mom about how you're feeling. She may be able to provide you with the support that you're looking for, but if not, maybe she can help connect you with someone else that you'd feel comfortable talking to, like a therapist or a mentor. Being in an environment where you're really unhappy can be stressful, so it's always helpful to have a safe person that you can connect with. You can also reach out to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) by calling 1-800-950-6264 or visiting NAMI.org for additional support and connections to resources in your area.

      You're also welcome to reach out to us at National Runaway Safeline if you want to talk more about what's going or find some other resources that are available to you in your area. We're available 24/7 by phone (1-800-RUNAWAY) or live chat (www.1800runaway.org) and are always happy to help.

      Take care!

      NRS
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