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I'm 14 and I want to move out

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  • Hello I am a 14 year old female and I have suicidal thoughts and have been told by therapists I may be depressed. My parents are made aware of the situation but they make fun of my thoughts and call me crazy and mentally abuse me. I honestly have no clue what to do at this point because I am mentally exhausted and I just want to be myself again but I cannot because when I am myself my parents don’t think I act like who they think I am but they don’t know who I am and I fear they may never. My parents beat me, punch me, make me bleed, and I do not know if I should classify this as abuse but I have been told it is in the past. my situation at home is that my mother and father live in two different cities and they both have completely toxic boy/girlfriends my mother’s boyfriend is abusive, he goes through my stuff, he has touched me before in an inappropriate way, he makes me feel insecure, he also has cheated on my mother and has hit me and my sister. my father’s girlfriend drinks the nights away and gets very dangerous when she is under the influence of drugs and alcohol, she throws things around and breaks multiple things upon the house, she has also beaten her kids in the past and freaks me out a little bit. at my mothers and fathers house we have barely any food and they work all of the time so they feed themselves.my mother punches me and scratches me to the point I have cuts on my arms and I am bleeding, my father beats me until I have purple bruises on my body and until the point it hurts to stand up. I have cut myself before and my parents have done absolutely nothing about it, it’s come to points where I have almost bled out and I have written many many suicide notes but they still act like I am fine but I look tired and I never eat all the time. I try and sleep but flash backs come back to them screaming at me because I do not understand a test or I get a question incorrect on my homework, I ask them to help me with it but they tell me to figure it out on my own but it’s so confusing and I do not understand one bit. In school my teachers and counselors know my mother and father ¨abuse¨ me but I think they do not want to look into it. My mother has tried bringing me to therapy with her to build our relationship but she has talked with the therapist beforehand telling her I over exaggerate and I am a manipulative liar, but I honestly think she tells herself that because when I confront her about the way he treats me. my father has extreme anger issues and has me raising myself and my older sister, in fact tonight my sister had snuck out and my father forced me to find her and I could not so he proceeded to call me lazy but I tried so hard to find her. I can’t wait any longer and I fear one day I may strike out and do something to end it all. I have no clue what is wrong with me but I have an urge to die, it gets to points where I have to lock myself in my closet with absolutely no sharp things or dangerous items in sight. Help.
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 05-08-2020, 01:30 AM.

    Comment


    • ccsmod4
      ccsmod4 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

      With everything that you have been going through at home it took a lot of courage for you to reach out. We appreciate you sharing your feelings about the situation. Well done. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed and or thinking about harming yourself. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      For depression or suicidal thoughts you might consider contacting the National Suicide and Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.
      Again you do not deserve to be abused physically, emotionally etc.
      It is not your fault that this is happening. You cannot control what others choose to do.
      Seeking help is an option available to you. We understand there may be some fear in speaking out. You have the right to want to feel safe and treated fairly.

      To report any abusive treatment there is Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

      NRS can assist you with filing a report. We are here to listen and here to help.
      Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We are limited as to how we can help in this type of forum.

      If you would like to talk more in detail please call 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. You did a good job reaching out.

      Be safe,
      NRS

  • I really hate the house im living in and i want to move in with my aunt. my whole family dislikes my dad. i dont understand him because he always tells me he wished id go somewhere but doesn't want me to move out. he has this stupid girlfriend and shes the only thing he cares about. the other day we got into a fight and the only name i seem to have anymore is "dumbass" i really want to leave but i cant because he keeps an alarm and cameras out so we cant go anywhere.the only thing we ever do is argue and he blames it all on me. ive honestly given up and i just feel helpless.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks for reaching out to NRS,
      It seems like you have been through a lot and are feeling like your dad isn’t supportive and actively makes your home uncomfortable to live in. It seems really extreme for him to have alarms and cameras up, but he may just be paranoid about break in’s as well. It’s understandable to want to live somewhere like your aunts, where you feel more supported instead of helpless.
      You do have some options though. First might be child abuse reporting for emotional/verbal abuse. To learn more about that option we recommend childhelp.org for more information. If you decide that is the right option we can also help you to file a report.
      Another option is finding ways to cope with the situation, or avoid confrontation. Your dad’s words don’t define you and you deserve support and to feel confident no matter how he tries to break you down. There may be counseling or therapy options for you, or self-help coping mechanisms like drawing, journaling, music, or volunteering that might help you get through this.
      Lastly, if you think you can get permission to live with your aunt from your dad then you might be able to stay with her. If you were to leave without permission your dad could file a runaway report and have police bring you back home and your aunt could potentially be at risk of a harboring a runaway.
      Again you shouldn’t be treated like that and called names at home. If you have more questions or just need to vent please call our hotline at 1-800-786-2929.

  • I'm 13 going to turn 14 soon and I've never been comfortable in my home, I've struggled with mental health. My parents had controlled me my whole life, they always want me to be perfect. I have older siblings that are already in their 20's so basically it leaves me alone. I've always tried my best to please my parents but most of the time we always fight, my parents have control of my diet, bedtime, phone time, and the friends I have. My mom talks ******** on my family members and my friends but she acts innocent, my parents act like they know what's best for me when they don't even believe in Depression. I tried multiple times to have a serious talk with my parents but my mom acted innocent and my dad just laughed at. My brothers are really smart and they always listen to my parents and that's why to this day one of my brothers has the anxiety to talk to them or ask them for something, My parents always compare me to my brothers or other people, I just want to wake up one day and have my parents listen to me and what I have to say without them thinking I'm a joke.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,
      Thanks for reaching out to NRS, we know that it can be hard to share your feelings like this especially when it comes to mental health and family. It seems like you don’t feel listened to at home and unsupported as well. As such it is understandable to want to reach out for help. We here at NRS are here to support you and listen and try to help however we can. If you want to call in and share more information so we can offer options that may work best for your situation. You can reach us three ways:
      Email: [email protected]
      Phone: 1-800-786-2929
      Online Chat https://na0messaging.icarol.com/Cons...d=254&cc=en-US

      We look foraward to hearing from you again soon!
      NRS.

  • im 14 i love my family so i want to move out and start a life of my own

    Comment


    • ccsmod1
      ccsmod1 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It’s important to consider all the possibilities that can occur if you leave home. You will need to plan out how you will cover basic necessities like travel, food, clothing, etc. If you have a place to go in mind, it’s good to see what the expectations of the living arrangement will be like; rules, the amount of time you’re allowed to stay, if you’re expected to contribute financially, etc. Living on your own can also bring about many safety risks. You will need to consider ways that you can protect yourself from physical harm as well as the possibility of sexual and labor exploitation. This can all influence your decision to leave.

      If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. immYou can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

      We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

      Stay safe,
      NRS

  • I'm 14 and I've been wanting to move out for 3-4 years. I have a few friends nearby who would take me in. I just can't stand it where I am anymore. My mother have experience some abuse in here past and she takes it out on me. When she does, she doesn't stop screaming at me. It gets really bad and it'll be over little things like, I forgot to clean up usaully something little. She also calls me names and and threatens me. She acts like my little sister is an angel and treats her like one but looks at me like im nothing but a waste of air. I don't think I can take it anymore.

    Comment


    • ccsmod1
      ccsmod1 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

      It seems like your mom isn’t fully understanding how her words and actions are affecting you. It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your mom so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself.

      If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

      We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

      Stay safe,
      NRS

  • So I reported something almost 2 years ago and was called a liar. I still live in the house although for 7 months I was in a facility. when I came home it was clear you screw up you get sent off again. I dont mind that much I got to act like a kid while i was gone. But I need out of this house and away from this this house is toxic and detrimental to my future. they say dont hang out with friends who share the same interest meaning girls that like girls. they blame my girlfriend for me being pan. I can not do this anymore and I honestly feel like a burden because aparently me and my friends who helped me through my dad's death "broke my family" is how they put it by reporting my grandmothers husband. and i was told i am a liar by the state of Tennessee. i need out can you help?

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,
      Thanks for reaching out to NRS, it seems like you have been through a lot and aren’t super confident that if you asked for help you would get the help you need because of last time. It seems ridiculous that your parents would try to keep you away from those people who are supportive of you and help you stand up for yourself when you are treated unfairly.
      Since you seem to be facing abuse at home, but are worried about being taken seriously it may be worth starting a journal or some form of recording to have documentation for whats been happening. You may also consider finding a trusted adult (could be teacher, another family member, friend’s parents) to tell when things happen, as well as take pictures of any bruises or cuts you get. For more information on your options with child abuse check out childhelp.org.
      If you were to leave without parent or guardian permission before turning 18 in Tennesse then your guardian could file a runaway report and have police try to bring you back. Generally if you tell them about the abuse they are supposed to let CPS investigate before they send you back home, but they don’t always enforce that. In addition those you stay with would be at risk of a harboring a runaway charge as well.
      It seems like you are in a difficult situation and we went to help you explore all options to find a safe way to navigate this. If you have more questions or just need to vent please call our hotline at 1-800-786-2929 or chat with us online at 1800runaway.org.
      Good Luck
      NRS.

  • I hate my life so bad that I'm planning on jumping into the beach next to my house. Life has become so messed up lately. And besides all this COVID-19 thing, my mom's boyfriend is here and he's a very wicked person. He even dropped a glass cup on my leg and my mum simply said " you deserve it for ruining my life ". My boyfriend is also very concerned about me and insists that I should go and stay in his place until we get some solid legal help. But I am afraid that if she finds me, She might ruin my boyfriend's life as well. I'm currently 14 and a half and my boyfriend is 17. His parents are totally fine with me moving in. So what should I do?

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on with your mom and her boyfriend. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
      While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
      The easiest way to leave home is with your parents' permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.
      We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). If you would like to look into further support options, you can text with a crisis worker at the National Alliance on Mental Illness 24/7 by texting "NAMI" to 741741.
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      Be safe,
      NRS

      Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think
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