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I'm 14 and I want to move out

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  • I'm 14 and I've been wanting to move out for 2-3 years. I have a few friends nearby who would take me in. I just can't stand it where I am anymore. My mother drinks every Thursday, Friday, and most Saturdays. When she does, she doesn't stop screaming at me. It gets really bad and it'll be over little things like, I forgot to sweep the floor or something. She also calls me names and makes fun of me. She acts like my little sister is an angel and treats her like one but looks at me like I'm a mistake that she would've aborted if she believed in it. I don't think I can take it anymore.

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    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello There,
      Thank you so much for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a really tough time. Having your mother drink a lot and scream at you can be really scary. One resource that may be helpful to you is called SAMHSA (substance abuse and mental health services). They may be able to give you resources they can be reached at 1800-662-4357.
      We know you mentioned moving out, we are not legal experts but we do have some information. If you were to leave home at 14 without permission your legal guardian could file a runaway report. If the police were to find you they most likely would bring you back home. One option you could consider is seeing if you could stay with a friend or family member. Another option to consider is talking with a school counselor about what is going on at home.
      We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. Just know you are not alone there is always someone willing to help and willing to listen. We wish you the best of luck!
      NRS

  • Hello,
    I'm 14 and I'm considering leaving home. Things have been pretty shaky between me and my mom these last couple of years, but recently our relationship has been getting worse. Last September, she dragged me across the carpet and it left a mark on my back. The next day I showed her the mark and there was no reaction. She basically acted like the whole thing never happened. My mom has also threatened to make me switch schools if I don't join the soccer team. When I confronted her about it, she yelled at me. I've tried to talk to her about it multiple times, but she always leaves the room and doesn't talk to me. On Monday I decided I didn't want to put up with it anymore and asked her if she even wanted to have a relationship with me. She said no and when I started to cry, she mocked me and told me I was being dramatic. I don't think I'm emotionally able to stay in this house with her anymore. I can't think of anything else to do.
    ​​​​​​

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      We are sorry your mom has been treating you like this; You do not deserve to be treated that way. You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your mom's permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your mom. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

      Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

      Be safe,

      NRS

  • Im only 14 and I have a very difficult living situation. My mom and dad divorced when I was little and my mom had custody over me for 11 years. 3 years ago I started living with my dad and he knew I didn't want too. He's very controlling and emotionally abusive. So it causes me to act up and lie to him about everything. He did something very cruel a couple days ago and I just want to get away from this house. I have no phone to contact anyone. My mom is trying to get back custody of me. but I feel hopeless and I just want to runaway to my moms house.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi,
      Thank you for reaching out to us; we are glad that you did. It sounds like you have a very difficult situation since you started living with your dad. You don’t deserve to be emotionally abused by him or by anybody. We are glad that your mom is trying to get custody back. You are very brave and resourceful and we are glad that you found us.
      Two things to think about: Maybe you can think of someone at school to talk to about this. Maybe they can let you use the school phone to talk to your mom. The other thing is to reach out to us using our live chat service, and we can have a conversation with you in real time. Then we can help you with what you are going through and work to help your situation. You can reach our chat at www.1800runaway.org
      We do hope to hear from you soon.
      Sincerely
      NRS

  • i’ve wanted to move out for a while but my great grandma has custody over me and she’s controlling of everything i do. there’s only one place she lets me go and it’s to my girlfriends house where i go every other weekend her dad and step mom have told me that if i need to i can come stay with them and they can adopt me or get guardianship over me so i don’t have to live where i am at anymore. almost everyday there is a fight or fuss about something and somehow it always ends up coming to the time i snuck out and how i got expelled from a school and how i’m now a terrible child since i’ve done it i’m not allowed to see my mom and i barely see my sister. my great grandma never lets me do anything during the week or weekends when i’m not with my girlfriend and it’s so stressful and i can’t do it anymore. would it be possible for me to move out at 14?

    Comment


    • ccsmod6
      ccsmod6 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thanks for reaching out to NRS, we’re glad you’re sharing about your situation. It sounds like you’re experiencing some tension at home and conflict with your great grandma. It takes a lot of courage to reach out and we’re here to listen and help.
      While we’re not legal experts at NRS, from our general experience, it can be tricky for youth under the age of 18 to move out. If you chose to leave home without your great grandma’s permission, she could potentially file a runaway report with the police. Running away before you turn 18 is a status offense, meaning it is something you can’t do because of your age but it is not illegal/a crime. You won’t be arrested for running away, but the police could bring you home if your great grandma choses to involve them. One thing to consider is that your girlfriend’s parents could get in trouble for something called harboring a minor, if your great grandma choses to go to the police. This would be something you might want to talk through with them to ensure they’re aware of that and on the same page. Adoptions and changes of guardianship can be a complex legal process that can take a long time to complete. We can help you look up legal resources in your area if you are interested in learning more about the laws where you live. We know this is a tough situation, and it can feel really unfair and stressful when you’re not allowed to see people in your life. We at NRS offer a conference line service, which can help to open up a dialogue with your great grandma about her rules and the ways in which you’d feel more comfortable at home. You can access this service by calling our 24/7 line at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
      We hope this helped and if you would like to discuss your situation in greater detail you can give us a call on our hotline or chat with us on our website. We look forward to hearing from you and we wish you the best of luck.
      -NRS

  • hi, I'm 14 years old and I hate living in my house. I'm the middle child and my parents always treat me differently by not letting me go hang out with friends when we have nothing to do and it's hot out. but they let my older and little brother do whatever. can i move into my real dad's house or my nanas house? they treat me equally like everyone else. they don't yell at me for stupid stuff. that's one question I have. is can I move in with one of them at 14 years old?

    Comment


    • ccsmod1
      ccsmod1 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. It sounds super frustrating to not be afforded the same liberties as your brothers.

      It's great to hear that your dad and your nana are supportive of you! It may be beneficial to speak with your dad and/or your nana directly about your desire to live with them. Sometimes custody transfers will need to go through the family court system and it may be beneficial to speak with a legal advocate. If you need help locating a legal aid group near you you can check out https://www.lawhelp.org/find-help/.

      If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

      We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

      Stay safe,
      NRS
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