I'm 14 and I want to move out

[Guest]

I am 14 and I want to go live with my friend or grandma because I can’t handle living with my mom anymore all she does is yell at me calling me names and saying that I’m not doing something right my friend goes to the same school as me and so I wouldn’t have to change schools all I would need to do is pack my stuff and move out. Is there any way I could do this without her permission to do so?

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. Your mom shouldn't be calling you names, you deserve to be treated with respect. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

We aren’t legal experts here at NRS, but generally speaking, if you do opt to leave your home (without permission) your mom can file a runaway report, which is essentially a missing person report. Running away is a status offense; this means that it isn’t illegal, but it’s something you can’t do while still a minor. If a runaway report is filed and you are located by the authorities you will most likely be returned home.

It seems like your mom isn’t fully understanding how her yelling is affecting you. It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your mom so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

Stay safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I’m 14 years old and really stressed out at the moment at home. I’m the oldest of 5 children and don’t have my own room which is a struggle as I don’t have much me time I’m constantly under pressure to do week and fear I can’t keep u. Because my step dad lives with us i feel being the only step child means I get treat differently and punished for stupid little things. I used to self harm because of the stress and I feel I may start again soon

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. It sounds like your situation can be really overwhelming and it can be hard to figure out what your next steps will be.

We know that stressors like this can be overwhelming at times and it sounds like you have turned to self-injury as a way to cope. It’s totally understandable that you would want to do something to give you a feeling of power and control when you may feel hopeless. To Write Love on Her Arms is an organization dedicated to supporting people who use this coping mechanism on their road to self-realization and recovery. You can check them out by going to https://twloha.com/.

It seems like your parents may not fully understand how you feel about being treated differently than your step siblings. It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your mom and step dad so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

Stay safe,
NRS

[Guest]

every day that my dad comes home he finds a reason to yell at me or one of my siblings, he takes my phone away for stupid reasons and it's not accomplishing anything but making me hate him more. My mom is usually on my side but when she says anything he just ignores her and starts yelling at me again. I'm not sure what to do.

[ccsmod4]

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. You don’t deserve to be yelled at by your father. We understand how behavior like that could be frustrating for you. It sounds like you have some support from mom but his behavior persists. Sometimes talking about the situation with someone might help bring about ideas on how to bring positive change to a situation.

We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

Im almost 14 and i hate where i live all my family does is point out my past life and try to make me feel like a criminal

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thank you for taking the time to reach out to NRS. We appreciate the courage it takes to ask for help and to share a bit about your situation. Home is supposed to be somewhere you feel safe and supported. You do not deserve to be treated like you are a criminal at home. It sounds like your family has not been listening to your needs and they have not been allowing you to grow as a person. It can certainly be stressful when the adults in our lives are not supportive.

Sometimes having a safe place to talk about your situation can give you an outlet to express yourself and brainstorm a variety of options to better your situation that you hadn't thought of previously. This could be another family member, a friend, or a counselor at school. Often times opening up about how you feel at home can involve a trusted adult who can advocate for you and mediate communication with your family.

We truly want to be a support for you during this challenging time. We are here to be a listening ear and to help as much as possible. If you would like to talk more about your situation. you can call our hotline at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

Hi im a 14 year old girl who Is turning 15 in a month. My mother and I have been fighting for over 2 years. I am so stressed and anxious all of the time. My mom does not understand space and loves to be "snoopy". I have been kicked out of my home once. She had called the police and told them to bring me home, I was at home for less than 24 hours after the cop had dropped me off and she started arguing with me again. She then gave me a choice if I wanted to leave or stay. I left. She had contacted my friends mom where I was staying and told her she was goin to have her charged for "child endangerment". I am now home and want to leave so bad. She said anytime I leave she will file a missing persons report. What should I do?

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. It sounds really frustrating to have your mom change up her feelings about you staying home so frequently. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

We aren’t legal experts here at NRS, but generally speaking, if you do opt to leave your home your mom can file a runaway report, which is essentially a missing person report. Running away is a status offense; this means that it isn’t illegal, but it’s something you can’t do while still a minor. If a runaway report is filed and you are located by the authorities you will most likely be returned home. Your friend's mom could possibly be charged with harboring a runaway, which is a misdemeanor and it is seldom followed up on. Response to runaway reporting can vary a lot from town to town and you may want to reach out to your local nonemergency police line (normally you can just dial 311) to verify local policy. Additionally, if your mom ever does kick you out again it can be considered neglect and you have a right to report it if you so choose. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

Stay safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Im 14 and I want to leave my house. I turn 15 in a month, my mom is verbally abusive and doesn't kn ow when to stop the argument. She acuses me of doing things I don't do, such as drugs alc, sex etc... im at this point so tired and overwhelmed that I have no care anymore. I honestly have given up and my drive is to just move out. She has told me anytime I runaway she will contact the police. Please, what should I do?

[ccsmod10]

Hi there,

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.

While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.

We want you to know that no one deserves to be abused, and you should not have to go through that. If you haven’t already, you could consider reporting the abuse you’ve been experiencing. If you want more information about abuse reporting or if you want to file a report, you could call Child Help at 1-800-422-4453.

We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Im 14 i moved from india to canada. My parents used to have jobs in different countries when i was younger but we started living together in canada. I have been living here for a year and its usually nice at home. But sometimes i make a mistake or do something that normal teenagers like me do but my mom overreacts and threaten me to send me back to india and then my dad tells her not to and stuff. Things get better on their own, but recently they have started to argue because of me a lot more. Even tho i love my parents, if things keep going the way they are they will either send me away or divorce. I don't want to live with my mom anymore. she gets mad over small things and is very overprotective and restricting. what do i do

[ccsmod6]

Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We’re sorry to hear that your dealing with these difficulties at home with your parents. It sounds like you really care about your parents and want what is best for them and that is very kind of you. It makes sense that you want some distance from the fighting and that your mom overreacting to things is stressing you out. Unfortunately, our hotline is tailored to provide services in the USA, so we aren’t able to offer anything to those outside of the country. You might be interested to talk to our Canadian counterpart, Kids Help Phone. They’re reachable at https://kidshelpphone.ca/ 24/7 and they would be better equipped to help you out. Thank you again for reaching out to us.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

I'm 14 and I want to move out because my mom is constantly stressed and telling me my brother is gonna kill himself cause of me. My brother is scuicidal and often trys to run away or kill himself hes been in and out of the hospital and on top of that he has many mental illnesses and is hard of hearing-leagaly deaf. My dad doesnt hide how he feels about me expressing his hatred towards me and how he wishes he never had me and that I should have been an abortion. I hate him and I hate my mom. I dont have anywhere to go. My brother hates me, my dad hates me, my mom hates me and I dont have any friends I trust. I also have NO family. I'm gonna end up running away. I dont care where I go but its gotta be anywhere but here. Im not in danger here it just sucks and I cant take the verbal abuse anymore.

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,
Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, and sharing with us what has been going on at home. It takes a lot of bravery to reach out for help and we are so glad that you did.
We want you to know that your brother being suicidal is not your fault and we are sorry your parents have told you that it is your fault. Your parents may be stressed with the whole situation and may be taking it out on you which is not fair. You or your brother can contact The National Suicide Prevention Hotline at: 1800-273-8255. There is always someone to listen and someone to talk to for support.
You also mentioned being emotionally abused which you do not deserve. If you would like to make an abuse report you can contact Child Help at: 1800-422-4453. One option to also consider is to talk with your school counselor about what has been going on at home.
You also mentioned wanting to run away, we are not legal experts but we do have some information. If you were to leave without permission your legal guardian could file a runaway report, if the police do find you they most likely would bring you back home. One option to consider is to see if you could stay at a family or friends house.
We hope this information will help you in your situation. If you would like to talk more or see what other options are out there please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. Best of luck!
NRS

[Guest]

I'm 14 and I want to move out, I have depression and I absolutely hate living with my mom's friend, I'm sure they're dating

[ccsmod6]

Hello and thank you for reaching out. Depression is an incredibly difficult issue to tackle, especially when living conditions seem to be making things worse all the time. It must be really rough on you to be living with your mom’s friend with whom you do not seem to get along. Unfortunately, as a minor, your guardian has the right to determine where you live. It might be worth having a conversation with your mom about what exactly is bothering you about living with her friend and about boundaries that could make the situation a little more manageable for you. We would be happy to mediate a conference call between the two of you if you liked to make sure that everyone is heard and everyone gets to say their piece. It also might be a good idea to talk to a teacher or trusted adult at school if that is a possibility. If you want to talk more about your situation and what options you have, please don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

I'm 14 and I live with my grandparents. It's really hard because I always fight with my grandma and its a really toxic environment and i reallt want to leave and live with a close family friend but i dont want to get reported as a runaway and have to come back here and no legal personal can help because my situation isnt "bad enough" and I'm so done living here. What can i do

[ccsmod0]

Hi there,

You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your grandparents' permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your grandparents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.

Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

Be safe,

NRS

[Guest]

Hey,so I’m a huge pet lover I’m even vegetarian my parents won’t let me get any animal I want a dog but I’m not allowed and I’m not even allowed to get a gunnie pig even tho I was gonna pay bc I have enough money and they said u can get pets when u move out when ur older but I don’t want to wait! Any advice?

[ccsmod9]

Thank you for contacting NRS! We are sorry that you are going through that and that your parents are not willing to let you get pets just yet. Perhaps finding a middle ground can help in your desire to get a pet. You could maybe try and compromise by making a deal with them about maybe doing chores and helping more around the house. They might see that you really are trying and let you get a pet. If you are looking for more options, NRS does offer conference calling and maybe you can talk with them through that and see what they might say.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I’m 14 and i just can’t live with my mother anymore she stress’s me out and is always screaming at me and she favors my sister and I just can’t take it anymore

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,
Thank you so much for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a difficult time right now. You do not deserve to be yelled at every day.
One option to consider is to talk with your mother about your feelings and how this is affecting you. Another option to consider is to talk with a school counselor about everything that has been going on.
You mentioned wanting to leave we are not legal experts but we do have some information. If you were to leave home without permission your legal guardian could file a runaway report. If the police were to find you they most likely would bring you back home.
We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. We wish you the best of luck!
NRS

[Guest]

I so desperately want to leave and get out of custody of my mother. I've been living with my aut since i was about 4 or 5 and left to go with my mother at around age 12 i am 14 about to be 15 on valentines day. Things were going so well until she started her drinking habits and it got worse and worse and then she got custody of my little brother and sister and it git even worse. She brings around my father alot he went to jail a couple of times and i actually would rather him stay away from me, everytime he visits he always looks through my phone, tablets and computer to see if i have a boyfriend and he does this every time my mother allows him around me and my siblings. He makes me feel uncomfortable and on top of that my mother has this new boyfriend who bosses me and my siblings around. Ive been hit so many times by my mother for stupid reasons its to the point where i feel too afriad to go downstairs to eat without her attacking me about what i wear around the house becaise her boyfriends around. She's punches me in my nose once because she thought i was flirting with him and im 14! I dont even talk to him at all! She's thrown me down the steps, slapped me and she talks bad about me like im the worse child ever. I feel trapped like i cant get away from her. I dont go to public school bc she took me out to be home schooled. I miss leaving the house abd hanging out with my friends when i used to live with my aunt. And i cant forget about the traumatizing fights her and her boyfriend have, she's made me call the cops over 10 times because of them and they often get physical and i hate when she drags me into them. I just wanna go i thought i could deal with 3 more years but now its unbearable and im afraid to tell because then she'll take my stuff away and hurt me more. I tell my uncle everything and he says he'll gladly take me as his own but of course my mother wont sign papers to let him have custody. I am in desperate need of help any kind of feedback would bbe

[ccsmod13]

Hello,

We’re sorry you’re going through such a difficult time with your mother and father. You don’t deserve to be treated like that, to be physically abused and to feel trapped and afraid in your own house. You deserve to feel loved and supported in your home by your family.

You did the right thing by reaching out. And we’re glad to hear your uncle’s in your corner to talk to about what’s going on and support you the best he can.

You’re going through quite a bit right now. It can be difficult to sort things and form a proper plan with so much going on. If you’d like to learn more about abuse and what your rights are to prevent further abuse, you can call the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1.800.422.4453 or chat with them 24/7 at childhelp.org. They can provide you with some great information and support for your situation.

And we’d like to talk to you more too. If you give us a call at 1.800.runaway or chat with us at 1800runaway.org we can help you talk through what’s going on and help point you to other resources that might be useful in forming a plan. We’re confidential, available 24/7, ready to listen and ready to help.

And we wish you the best!
-NRS

[Guest]

I’m 14 and I can’t stand where I live currently. My mom can’t go 3 hours without having a mental breakdown and yelling at me. She says, “ Why should I care about you.” My dad is fine but whenever my mom says something he always takes her side. When my mom is mad she tells my dad to deal with it and he does. I have no family left to turn to. It feels like the walls are closing in on me.

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. You're mom shouldn't question whether to care about you but should be showing you unconditional support! It sounds like life at home is very frustrating and overwhelming.

It seems like maybe your dad doesn't realize how much it affects you when he takes your mom's side about this kind of stuff. It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your dad so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

Stay safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I am 14 and want to so desperately move out. My situation is very tricky and scary. My mother is an alcoholic and is very aggressive. There have been many times where i have been hit by her for ridiculous reasons and sometimes she's not even drunk when she hits me. Just recently i went to las vegas with my uncle and i felt so free and happy i didnt want to go. But when i came back she just became more aggressive and she curses at me alot and she's punched me in the nose because i came back "acting different." And before all this she's been hitting, ive been punched, slapped and thrown down the stairs. And i just feel trapped, i dont even go out anymore because she's transferred me online school. There are so much more situations that have happened since I've lived with her. I need help..

[ccsmod13]

Thanks for taking the time to write us here at NRS. It can certainly be stressful at home when the adults in the household are not supportive. From what you shared, your mom has been making home very dangerous. Reaching out for help was very brave of you.

You do have the right to report the abuse going on at home. This would get a social worker involved to help you and make sure you are safe. Child Help is an organization that advocates for young people in abusive and unhealthy situations. You can contact them at 1-800-422-4453 or go to childhelphotline.org to talk more about your options and what the reporting process might look like for you. You can also talk to a counselor or a teacher at school that you trust. They are mandated reporters which means it is their job to report to child protective services if you tell them there is abuse going on at home.

We truly want to be a support for you as you decide on your next steps. We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. Please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone or chat if you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation and explore your options. You can contact us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.

Stay safe,
NRS