I'm 14 and I want to move out

[Guest]

i dont want to live in my house anymore. im constantly having arguments with my dad and he makes me feel like im worthless. i told him today that he should just kick me out if he doesnt want me here and he said "its fine i told your mother that as soon as you turn 16, you;re out of the house" i live in a house with my mum, dad, and 2 brother. one of which is disabled. im having a stressful time at school as well and i dont want to come home afterschool most days. i seriously am just thinking about running away and not coming back here,

[ccsmod13]

Hello,

We’re glad you reached out to us. You should never be made to feel worthless, especially in your own home. The way your father speaks to you isn’t right. You deserve to be made to feel respected and supported.

It’s understandable that you’d want to get away from an environment where you don’t feel supported. And it’s very understandable that you’re having a stressful time at school. Coming home to an environment that isn’t safe and supportive only makes other things, like schoolwork, more difficult.

We invite you to call us at 1800-RUNAWAY or chat with us at 1800runaway.org. While your parents are legally responsible for you until you’re 18, there are things we can discuss that can make living with them easier until you’re legally an adult.

We’re sorry you’re going through this and are ready to listen and help whenever you are, 24/7.

All our best!
-NRS

[Guest]

I'm 14 I don't feel safe in my home my dad's girlfriend is always mad and my mom lives across country and I'm gay I've been seeing an older guy he's 39 we met a couple of times and I really want to live with him but I'm not sure how or if I can I'm tempted to run away to his place.

[ccsmod0]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions. There is also the legal consequences of being with someone above the age of 18 while you are under the age of 18.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Im 14 and I feel like my mother wants to kick me out the house because I be in the streets a lot and she thinks if I can’t abide by her rule set in the house I should leave but its so hard to deal with it...what should I do?

[ccsmod0]

Hi there,

You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18 if your mom kicks you out. The easiest way to leave home is with your parent's permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your Mom. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

Be safe,

NRS

[Guest]

hiya i'm 14 and want to move out. My whole family got mad at my mother because her new boyfriend is an alcoholic and we were scared he'd hurt her but now we honestly don't care. She blames my dad for me and my brothers resentfulness to my mom. So she tried to kick him out of my life and made a bunch of things up about him and made him seem evil . i didn't believe them. one day i was talking to my dad on the phone about how i felt and she over heard and when i came out of my room she was standing by the door and took the home phone out my hand(she took my other one a few days before this due to her wanting to look through all of my text messages ) and she told me to stand by the front door and to touch nothing in the house she then proceeded to punch me by the front door so i went out of the front door and when i tried to go back she locked it. i called my dad from a kind lady who gave me herds and she calls THE POLICE SAYING I"D RUN AWAY . the police told me to go to my dads for a while until the whole thing calms down. And she asked how many options does she have to get rid of me and he gave her some. i went to my dad's and she "wanted" me back and my dad and me didn't want me back in that toxic house but the police were involved and said my dad could be charged for kidnapping (he's not my biological father so he has no legal rights) so i had to come back. As we go home she proceed to tell me how i'm not to come out my room unless i have to use the bathroom or clean the kitchen and then tells me to go to my room immediately. After she looked through my bag and to find the house phone i forgot i hid from her. and now i'm stuck with her for the next few years and idk what to do

[ccsmod3]

Thank you for reaching out to us. It sounds like you are going through a lot. It's good that you have your father who seems like a big support for you. You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your mom’s permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your mom. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

Be safe!

[Guest]

I’m 14 years old and I really want to leave my home. My parents forced me to homeschool at the beginning of last semester and I feel like I’m not getting anything done. I had to find my own homeschool things. My parents don’t even know the name of what I use. I’m depressed because I can’t see friends or do much of anything. I get yelled at everyday for not doing enough chores and am constantly interrupted to do chores when I’m doing school work. I can only work 7 am to 12 pm and that’s with interruptions to do chores. I was forced to homeschool because I told them I didn’t agree with their religion so their pastor said they had to homeschool me. I can’t do extracurricular activities either. I’m not allowed to take ballet because it’s “inappropriate.” I can’t play on a basketball team or any sports team because it’s “of the devil.” I’m not even allowed to wear pants because it isn’t “ladylike.” I can only wear long skirts with no slits and they have to be loose. I can’t show my collar bones. And I can only wear long sleeves, which is very annoying in the summer. I’m not allowed to cut my hair or dye it etc. I can’t wear makeup either or wear jewelry. I can only text people that are a part of their religion. I recently was allowed to get a therapist (they didn’t allow it before), but it feels useless because what’s the point in talking to someone once a week for an hour when it’s not going to change anything. I’m still going to have to live my stupid life. I was a straight A student and very smart before. I guess I still am but I don’t feel confident anymore. My mom calls me ugly, fat, and other things all the time. I starve myself and cut myself when it gets bad. My mom says she would give me up for adoption as long as my dad agrees. My dad is very controlling though and can’t be spoken to or else I’ll get screamed at, get my phone taken away, and hit. My mom is always on the phone with a guy friend and always ignores me and just says, “I’m going out, clean the house and/or take care of the kids.” If I don’t get out of this house soon, I’m going to kill myself because I can’t handle being controlled anymore. Even if it does mean, “I’m going to hell.” Which is what they scream at me all the time. I know I can’t run away because I’ll just ruin my record, so suicide is my only ticket out.

[ccsmod10]

Hi there,

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.

Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
We hope to hear from you soon.

Be safe and stay strong,
NRS

[Guest]

I don’t want to be home I can’t stand to even be in the same room as my mom anymore she flips out over everything and is very controlling she over reacts over literally anything and everything I do. My sister is treated like an angel and I’m treated like a mistake. The only time I’m happy and I enjoy myself is when I’m with my friends but I can’t do that cuz my mom doesn’t let me out of the house I’m basically on house arrest. If I were to leave she’d report me as a runaway. I don’t know what to do but I need to get away from her it doesn’t feel like home it feels like a prison.

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thank you for contacting NRS and taking the time to share a bit about your situation. It sounds like your mom has been making you feel like you want to leave. It is unfair of her to treat your sister so differently than she treats you and to over react. That must make being at home quite frustrating and overwhelming for you. You deserve to be treated in a way that makes you feel wanted and supported. You were really brave for reaching out to ask for help.

We want to be a support for you and a listening ear. If we talk more in detail about your situation it will help us better support you and brainstorm some options together. You can reach out anytime by phone (1-800-786-2929) or use our live chat services at 1800runaway.org if you want to talk more about what's going on.

We look forward to hearing from you soon,
NRS

[Guest]

my dad is verbally abusive to me, my mom, and little brother. he screams and throws things and talks about me being suicidal as a joke and is using my mom just to cook and clean for him and then yells at me and my brother that we are selfish and need to help . he is constantly snapping at me and makes my mom yell at me and my brother. every interaction with him is so bad and i just want to get my mom and brother away from him. i’m only 14 but i want to move out or have a friends parents or a family member take me in but i don’t know how to get my mom and brother away too. i just never feel safe here for myself and my mom and brother. i feel like my mom dosent want to accept that my dad is just using her and he’s a really bad person. my dad is also very controlling and scary. he will get in your face and scream and grab you and say very, very hurtful things to you in full confidence. he controls everything in this house including the internet. i’m not sure if this post will get out or not because he will see that i’m on my ipod (i’m not allowed to have a phone the only reason i have an ipod is because my extended family felt bad for me and got me an ipod) and he will shut the internet off. i’m normally ********s off at 8pm and turns on at 8am if he even puts it on at all. most of the time he just leaves it off. i just don’t know what to do, please help me.

[ccsmod10]

Hi there,

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options.

While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. If you leave with your mom and brother then your dad would not be able to report you as a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.

We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,

NRS

[Guest]

I really want to move out i'm tired at home i'm sick of it my family is saying that i'm going on the wrong path but i'm not. i'm a really good kid i clean the house better then my own mom i clean all of my families cars on the weekend and i have really good grades. sadly i'm still not good enough if i do one thing wrong its over i cant act different dress different talk different. i want to find myself but i cant because of them. i have planed on leaving for a long time not ever since i stared high school. i'm a freshman in high school and my parents are the people to think that everyone will change. i keep on telling them that im trying to find who i really am. i want to get a job but i cant because i'm still 14 i don't even know what to do. I've been fighting with my parents at least 5 times a week ever since school started.

[ccsmod10]

Hi there,

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options.

While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.

We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,

NRS

[Guest]

I don’t want to live with my mom anymore. She doesn’t have a job, she’s unstable, all she does is sleep and any time she gets money she spends it on drugs. It’s terrible because she makes me feel so bad. She makes me do everything for her. I have to clean up after her and everything and she’s 32 and I’m only 14. I want to live with my sister and I told my mom I don’t want to live here anymore and she asked me why and I told her I didn’t like it here and she walked away from me. I just told her a few moments ago I want to move out and she said I can’t until I’m 18. She gives me thoughts of suicide every day. She let her friend move in and they just steal everything of mine and use all of my stuff and there isn’t enough room in our apartment for that. I don’t even have my own room I have to sleep on the couch. I want to live with my sister BY THIS WEEKEND but I don’t know how to leave.

[ccsmod4]

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.

With everything that you have been going through at home with your mom it took a lot of courage for you to reach out. We appreciate you sharing your feelings about the situation. Well done. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned having thoughts of suicide. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are feeling unsafe or at risk of being hurt.

You might consider filing an abuse report about any mistreatments to child protective services. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please call 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in.


If you are at risk of any danger or having thoughts of suicide, we encourage you to reach out to 9-1-1 or seek emergency assistance by contacting the National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255.

Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Hello I am 14 but I turn 15 in 5 months but I really want to move out BC I get mentally abused by my family and mostly only have one friend who I can hang out with but my mum dose not like her so I can't hang out with her and it is the Christmas holidays and I am only allowed to go to work or stay home I have no friends I can have out with and to me it feels like I am not allowed to have any fun

[ccsmod15]

Hello,
Thank you for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline. It was really brave for you to reach out to us. You deserve to feel better and be supported by your family. You mention being mental abused by your family. That is never okay and we take that seriously. NAMI is a great resource for mental health that may be beneficial to you. They can offer you support and answer any questions you may have. You can reach them at 1800-950-NAMi or you can text NAMI to 741741.
In regards to you wanting to move out there might be some issues since you are still a minor (under 1. Your parents are legally responsible for you until you are 18. This means you would need their permission to move out. There is more to it than just that, so it may be helpful if you called or chatted with us to talk about it further.
You can call our hotline at 1800-786-2929 or message us via our live chat at www.1800runaway.org. We are 24/7 and confidential.
Take care,
National Runaway Safeline

[Guest]

I feel like crap all the time im 14, my day always yells at me and i dont know what to do i never did any thing to him but i feel like i messed up his life my mom is extremely lazy neither of my parents have jobs (my dad is missing a leg) i have 3 other brother and 2 of them are over 18 and they do drugs and steal from my grandpa i have no one to talk to but my 16 year old brother and that only gets you so far i want to runaway but i went to homeschooling and i dont have a phone to call my friends i fell like i have know one and my dad says hes going to call the cops if i dont do the things he wants me to do (I feel like dieing sometime) and i feel worthless. We are really poor and the reason why is because my parents spend a lot of money on cigarettes and energy drinks


What should i do.

[ccsmod15]

Hi,
Thank you for reaching out to us; we are glad that you did. It sounds like your home is very stressful and not the best place for someone so young to grow up. Being in a home where two people do drugs and steal, and your dad saying he’s going to call the cops on you is also wrong. You haven’t done anything wrong.
You are very strong to have survived this. We want you to live. You deserve to live. You deserve your life and we are here for you to listen and to help. You are very brave and intelligent for finding us and for reaching out. We are glad that you have one brother to talk to because you deserve to be listened to and both of you can offer support to each other. We want you to be safe and because you are so young, it is adults who have to help you. You can reach out to https://www.childhelp.org/childhelp-hotline/ and they can help you report what is happening to you to people who can help.
We truly hope that you will reach out to Childhelp, or we are here to help and support you if you’d like to talk further about this, we hope that you might reach out to us through either our phone hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or by chatting with us through www.1800runaway.org We really are here to listen and help and we hope you can chat with us soon. We are here for you 24/7.
We hope to hear from you soon,
Sincerely, NRS

[Guest]

Hey, I’m 14 and I have a real struggle with my mom... my dad lives about 40 minutes away but is more of a friend than any guardian, I can’t live with him because he lives with his girlfriend in a one bedroom apartment and doesn’t have much money. My grandparents are there for me when my mom has her melt downs (it happens almost every day), she constantly tells me to move out and how I am a spoiled **********. My sister who has many different anxiety issues is now 16 and after going to a few rehabs and anger facilities has moved in with my grandparents 2 hours away... I enjoy school and all of my friends but I now live just me and my mom and at times it can get so hard having to deal with her. She screams at me nonstop and calls me horrible names than the next day she will want me to hang out with her and she’ll tell me how much she loves me. I want to move out but I love my school and friends along with sports, not sure what I can do because being with my mom at times is insanely unbearable. She has zero filter and try’s to buy my sisters love, she is a complete control freak and it’s so hard to deal with her... What should I do?

[ccsmod4]

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We would like to be of assistance to you if we can.
You don’t deserve to be mistreated with verbal attacks from your mother. It’s not your fault that she does this. However we do understand the frustration caused by it.
It is times like these that would be nice to have a listening ear. It is also important that you remember to exercise self- care. You did well by reaching out to NRS. Good for you.
We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We are here to listen and here to help. Perhaps you would like to explore some options and support services to help cope with the situation.
We can best help by phone or chat so that we might learn a little more about your situation and how we might assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

We hope to hear from you soon.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

Hi I'm 14 and I was wondering if I could get a house I've got asd and there's nothing Rong with my family I just want to act grown up

[ccsmod0]

Hey there,

We're not legal experts, but in order to legally be able to fully support yourself without needing your parents' permission, you would likely need to be emancipated. In many states, you have to be 16 to begin this process. It sounds like you are interested in emancipation. We are not legal experts, but we can help you get a general sense of how emancipation works. Our general understanding is some states offer formal emancipation statutes while others do not unfortunately. Laws vary depending on your location, but in many states a minor can petition the court for emancipation to take responsibility for their own care before they turn 18. Generally speaking, courts are wary about granting emancipation. In most cases, you would have to prove in court that you have an income and can care for yourself financially, and that you are able to live separately from your parents. It also helps to be in good standing at school. The court will also factor in the mental and physical welfare of your parents in order to establish your best interest. Usually your legal guardian would have to agree to this in court. Once you are emancipated, you can legally choose where you live, but you might still find that you cannot sign a lease or build credit until you turn 18. The emancipation process can take several months or up to a year, and may cost money in the form of court fees and other expenses. Usually, the best way to learn about emancipation in your state is to contact a lawyer. You may also find information at your county family court. We can look up legal aid resources that may be able to help you with the process. Please do not hesitate to call or chat if you have questions, need legal resources, or need to talk. We can explore your situation, go over all your options, and come up with a plan and resources to deal with your situation over the phone or on live chat. We are looking forward to hearing from you soon, and wish you the best of luck.

NRS

[Guest]

I’m 14 years old and my dad and step mum are really weird as in they are nice one day but the next they stress about the smallest thing. They don’t abuse me or anything like that but I really hate living with them. they are gonna make me move with them really far away from my friends to be closer to my step mum's family and she's got loads of control over my dad and he can't say no to her. I can't be away from my friends because I love them so much more than my parents, and if I didn’t have them I wouldn’t have any motivation in life. Any advice?

[ccsmod4]

Hi,
Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline.

It sounds like you are in a tough situation and may be looking for some options to help cope with everything. Moving can be difficult and we understand not wanting to be separated from your friends. It sounds like you have a close bond with them.

Some options to remain in contact with them may be to consider things like video chatting, calling, texting and if possible visiting when you or they can.
NRS would like you to know we are here to support you at this difficult time.

NRS is here to listen and here to help.
Having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of. We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Let us know how we might help, please contact us at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) orwww.1800Runaway.org (live chat).

Take care,
NRS