I'm 14 and I want to move out

[Guest]

My girlfriend is 17 but getting forced back to her dads ... there’s a lot of danger ... his gf is a pervert and touché day my gf ... she is gonna move out soon and I was wondering if I’ll be allowed to move in with her , my parents are fine without it I’m 14 in December ... will this be okay with parents convents

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to NRS. It sounds like your girlfriend has been in a really difficult situation and you care about her a lot. You asked some really great questions. Leaving before you turn 18 can be difficult, and we are here to help you brainstorm your next steps.

Because you are under the age of 18 your parents get to decide where you live. If you have somewhere safe to live and your parents give you permission then you could leave home. If your parents do not give you permission then leaving can be much more difficult. In the event that you leave without parental consent then they can file a runaway report. This means that the police will likely return you home.

Do not hesitate to reach out anytime if you would like to talk more about your situation. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org .

Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Hello, I'm a 15 year old with no privacy. Now I know this isn't the worst but my parents are divorced because my dad used to hit my mom and us and now both of them are homelessI. haven't seen my dad since I was 4. Now I live with my grandparents because we were living in an RV not going to school etc. now that I live with my grandparents it's great we have a stable home and food to eat and a great school. I share a room which isn't a big deal but we aren't allowed to shut the door and if we even really talk that loud we get in trouble my grandfather is only 57 but is kinda about old times ways he goes through my phone reads my texts and I feel like he tries to get me in trouble for the simplest things we do all the chores and cook dinner and everytime we complain about anything he says at least it's not an RV. He tells me if I don't like the way he parents then I can pack my stuff and leave. And if I speak out of terms he says "I'm the adult you are a child, I know what's right and you don't know what your talking about" it sounds pathetic but there is other things he does. I have thought about running away but I really just want to make it through highschool but it's hard.

[ccsmod15]

That sounds like a difficult situation. It's natural that you'd want some privacy and respect and it sounds like you aren't getting enough of either from your grandparents. Just so you know, until you turn 18 or finish high school your grandparents can't legally kick you out of the house. They are obligated to provide for your needs since it sounds like they are now your legal guardians.

Perhaps things will improve with time. They often do. But maybe something you can try is to have a deep, heartfelt conversation with them when they are in a good mood. You can explain little ways in which you can have more privacy and respect. Another option would be to write them a letter. Sometimes it's easier to say and hear things when it's written down with some care. You might also think about giving us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We can brainstorm other ideas with you on how to handle the situation. We also offer conflict mediation, which would entail having a conference call with us, you, and one of your grandparents. We wouldn't take sides but we would try to maintain a productive, respectful conversation between you and them.

If you're thinking about running away we can, of course, talk about that too. Running away is a big decision and it's good to think beforehand what the consequences might be. So if you want to talk about that we'd love to hear from you. Again, our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat with us online by clicking on the chat button on our main website, www.1800runaway.org.

Good luck to you! Stay safe!

NRS

[Guest]

hello, i'm fourteen & i was wondering if i'd be able to move out right now. my mother & step father are always talking about how much they're disappointed in me & they're punishing me until i move out (no phone, not allowed to go ANYWHERE, not supposed to have friends, no job, etc) over a mistake i've done two years ago. they've told me before quote on quote, "you can move out if you want, just if you do you better not come back at all". my friend told me his mother said i could stay with them (we've always been really close) . would i be able to if my parents if i ask my parents if i'm able to move out & they say yes ?

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thanks for contacting NRS. We are sorry to hear your parents have been treating you like this. It is not okay for them to be constantly punishing you and talking down to you. Everyone makes mistakes and it is totally okay and normal to make them. You deserve to be treated in a way that makes you feel supported and cared for.

You asked a really great question. We are not legal experts by any means, but we can share our knowledge of runaway protocol and alternative living situations. Your parents are obligated to make sure you have a safe and supportive place to live. This does not necessarily have to be them and they can give you permission to live somewhere else. If they tell you to leave suddenly, this would be neglect and it is not okay for them to do. However, if you talk to them about you living somewhere else that is safe and they agree to it then it is called an alternative living arrangement. If your parents agree to you living with your friend, it would be helpful to get this agreement in writing in the event that they change their minds and possibly report you as a runaway. It is really great that your friend and his more are so supportive of you and they sound like they can give you a more comfortable place to live.

We hope that this helps you. If you have any other questions or you would like help talking to your parents about leaving, do not hesitate to reach out anytime (800-786-2929 ; 1800runaway.org).

Good luck,
NRS

[Guest]

Hello, I'm 14 and I can't deal with this anymore. My parents say I can't have any control over my own life, at least not while I live under their roof. I'm constantly feeling severely depressed and often have thoughts of suicide and it being the only option, despite me being too much of a coward to go through with it. I've talked to my parents for hours about not having any freedom before, but they never seem to understand how hard it is for me. I feel trapped with them, and I can never feel happiness. The only thing that gives me a bit of hope is the thought that I could get away from them and have freedom, but I get stuck when I think about me not having anyone to turn to and at the same time not wanting to hurt their feelings. I don't know what to do anymore. I've talked to a family member for advice, but they just told me to talk with them more, and I'm absolutely sick of hearing that because no matter how hard I try to get them to understand or how hard I try to open up to them, it never works. I'm writing this through my school computer, I don't have a phone.

[ccsmod10]

Hello,

It sounds like you are thinking about harming yourself or ending your life. It takes a lot of strength to reach out for help, and we are so glad that you did. Your life has worth and our top priority is your safety. If you feel this is an emergency you could consider calling 911 for emergency assistance. We are here to listen and support you in any way that we can, and we can help you find resources that can help you cope with these feelings. You do not have to face this alone, and there is so much help out there for you. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, the National Suicide Hotline could be a good resource for you. You can check them out at www.youmatter.suicidepreventionlifeline.org, or you can call 1-800-273-8255 for help and support any time. You can also call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) if you need to talk.

[Guest]

im 14 and live with my aunt for about 8 years now, shes constantly having mood swings being sweet then her being in a bad mood. today i got home late from my friend that i live 5 minutes away from. I was 7 minutes late and she said because of that i cant go to my friends house for 7 days. Never has she done this to her son who is my exact age, never. Hes been 20-25 minutes late before but has never punished him.

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline over our online forum. It takes a lot to ask for help, especially when you are going through a tough time. Your situation at home sounds really difficult and it is not fair that your aunt experiences a lot of mood swings. You do not deserve to be in trouble for staying out for a few minutes over your curfew, especially when other members of the household are not held to the same consequences. So, it is understandable that you are frustrated and want to move out of this situation to be on your own and not have to live by her rules any longer. It might be beneficial to reach out to other trusted adults or close friends outside of your household that you could talk to in order to vent to them about what you are going through. This way, your support group is aware of what you are experiencing at home and can be there for you when you feel most alone. Additionally, you can most definitely reach out to us here at NRS directly at the following phone number: 1-800-786-2929. This way, we can talk more about your situation in depth and possibly even conduct a conference call between you and your aunt in order to re-evaluate your home life and how it can improve. If you decide against this, we can still talk more and even talk about your options for moving out and finding a more stable home environment. Again, thank you for reaching out to us and we are here 24/7 to listen.

-NRS

[Guest]

Hello , i am 14 and i am considering moving of home. There is four of us live together and i am coming to age that i am tired of get assault and doing everything (everything my mother yells at me to do ). i have a sister that is 12 with ADHD , so if i do any thing wrong , i would be punished but if she broke a glass ball they wound't do anything , i am tired of living like it's always my fault

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.

We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Hello. I'm 14 and I wanna move out of my house. my brother is the main problem. I thinking about moving out to a friends house and taking the essential things I need. I always feel like I disappoint my family and I always feel ashamed. I recently called my brother a spoiled brat and I damn ready to get out of that house. But I do need some advice? Where do I live when I move out?

[ccsmod9]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

My mom doesnt listen. That's it, I just wanna talk to her about stuff and she doesnt listen, I told her not to sign me up for a school visit that we are too broke to even afford, but she didnt listen and signed me up anyway. After telling her that I could be doing much better in school if I had more time, she started yelling at me. One way i could have more time is by staying home and missing out on the school visit which i dont wanna go to. I feel like i dont wanna live anymore but i know that i cant kill myself or my dad would be devastated. I dont care how my mom would feel. My dad cheated on my mom a while ago, so they divorced and now my mom is getting screwed by some guy. It would destroy my dad and brother if I killed myself so that is oit of the question, I would like to move into my dads house but all of my stuff is at my moms house including my $1300 gaming pc that i bought and built with my dad. My dad actually listens to me and so does my brother but my mom, not so much. I dont think my brother feels the same way because well, he can drive and he gets treated better by my mom and, well, I just feel lost. I also have a dog at my moms place and my mom has the nicer house but i feel like that shouldnt be like that.my dad is a good guy who made a mistake and my mom just blames everything wrong in her life on him. She screwed the guy in our car and there were butt prints on the seat afterward. She doesnt care about me it feels like. She says she loves me but I dont believe that. Pls help me

[ccsmod3]

Thank you for reaching out to us. It sounds like there is a lot stuff going on in your household. It must be frustrating to not be heard by your mom when you are trying to express how you feel. It’s good that you have your brother and father who support you and hear you out. It’s understandable that you would want to leave your moms house especially with the way you feel. Maybe since it seems easier for you to have a conversation with your father you can try to talk with him about your concerns. Maybe your dad can find a way to have the conversation with your mom about the way you are feeling. Sometimes it helps to have someone there to support you. We do offer a service were we could contact your parents and help you start the conversation with them about how you are feeling. You mentioned something about not wanting to live anymore and it sounds like your father and brother are a motivation for you to not harm yourself. It’s considerate of you to think of how that decision could affect the people you love. It’s understandable with everything that you are going through that you have times when you are feeling down. If you ever have thoughts of harming yourself or anyone else you can contact National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1800-273-8255. If you want to talk more about your situation and what options you have you can give us a call at 1800-RUNAWAY. We are 24/7, confidential and here to help. Best of luck!

[Guest]

I’m 14 and my parents are not okay with the fact that I’m a girl who likes girls. They treat me differently than my siblings and tell me that I’m wrong and call me names. They want me to go to a straightening counselor. I have an adult I trust and I want to leave and live with her. I can’t take it anymore. They treat me like ********. I resorted to cutting myself and I just recently stopped. I have tried talking to them about it but they won’t change their opinion of bisexuals. I regret coming out of the closet.

[Guest]

My parents are homophobic and I’m bisexual. They call me names and treat me like trash. I tell my friends but they don’t believe me. I don’t have permission to leave home but I’m wondering if there is another legal way to do it.

[ccsmod4]

I’m 14 and my parents

Hello,

Thanks for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. You made a great first step to finding the help that you may need. It sounds like you are going through a lot and the people around you are not being supportive. You deserve to be treated with respect, to experience acceptance and to feel safe.

We want you to know that you are strong for having gone through so much already. It is perfectly okay to deviate from what others or the common population believe to be “normal”. Your bravery and resilience is so admirable. You are so strong for having gone through so much without having the acceptance that you do deserve for just being you. Remember that you are not alone. If you ever want to talk more about what you are experiencing or get additional support we are here 24/7 at 1800-RUNAWAY or our live chat service. The GLBT National Hotline at 1-888-843-4564 is another option to gain great support from those that are familiar with the issues and experiences of those that are also a part of the LGBTQ community. You can access their website link bellow to utilize all the other possibly useful resources they have to offer: http://www.glbthotline.org/

You mentioned that you were considering the options that may be best for you. By all means, if you do fear for your safety either now or in the future, do not hesitate to take the necessary steps to regain your safety. This may mean calling the authorities or possibly reporting the things you may be experiencing. Another option that you thought about is a friend that would be able to provide you with support or a safe place to stay. It is great that you thinking ahead. Should you feel like leaving home is best, it may be a good idea to think about how you will provide necessities for yourself such as food, clothing, showers, healthcare and other basic needs. You may want to also consider how your parent’s will react to you leaving without permission. We are not legal experts here, but typically as a minor (under the age of 1 you need permission from your parents to leave home. It is not illegal to run away, but it would mean that your parents could file a runaway report with the police. This is usually done in an effort to try to return you home as the police are required to do so.

If you can give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY we can try to find some youth shelters that may be in your city and state by utilizing our database of resources. We can also try to call out to shelters with you or on your behalf to advocate for you.

Stay Strong,
NRS

[ccsmod4]

My parents are homophobic and I’m bisexual

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. You don’t deserve to be talked down to or judged by anyone. You are very brave for standing up for who you are.
It sounds like you are trying to find a way to move out of your home legally.
In some states there are emancipation laws that can be one way of trying to gain your independence. . We are not legal experts, but we can help you get a general sense of how emancipation works. Our general understanding is some states offer formal emancipation statutes while others do not unfortunately. Laws vary depending on your location, but in many states a minor can petition the court for emancipation to take responsibility for their own care before they turn 18.

Generally speaking, courts are wary about granting emancipation. In most cases, you would have to prove in court that you have an income and can care for yourself financially, and that you are able to live separately from your parents. It also helps to be in good standing at school. Usually your legal guardian would have to agree to this in court. It’s best to check your local court house to gain more information on this process.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

Iam14 and my I am missreable at my house living with my parents because they won't let me hang out with any of my friends because their not in my religion. And also because of my parents and religion I can't have as many privileges in school like school sports and learning some things in science class like evolution and stuff.And every time I bring up playing sports or even talking about my friends at school my dad threatens to beat me and some times does beat me and I have many friends and their parents that want to bring me in if I can't live with my parents any more .

[ccsmod8]

Hello there –

Thank you so much for reaching out to us here on our public forum. We are always here to listen and help in any way that we possibly can. It must be pretty frustrating not knowing what your next step is going to be from this point on. After reading through your post is sounds like you are having a lot of issues with your parents isolating you from the things that you enjoy based on their religious views. That must be really hard to deal with, especially as a teenager that wants to explore their world views a little. You also mentioned that your father will made threats or even beat you. No one deserves to be treated that way at all. Just know that you always have the right to report any abuse (physical, mental, sexual, or neglect/abandonment) to child protective service in your state. You have rights too. If you are unsure of what that might look like or have questions about it, please feel free to reach out to us here or even “Child Help (National Child Abuse Hotline)” (800.799.7233).

Only you know when you need to leave due to your home being unsafe. Unfortunately no one but you can make that decision for you, not even here. It sounds like you might need a place to vent about what you are feeling right now. It’s hard to talk to just anyone one about what has been going on. Please rest assured that we are completing confidential. So anything that you share with us will stay between us. We don’t ask for any identifying information, unless you want to report any abuse. We certainly want to help you. We encourage you to reach out to us to get more support.

Best of luck and hope to hear from you!

[Guest]

My parents are always finding a reason to yell and just argue with me and sometimes i do admit i start it but just this morning my father started to scream at me and ended up smashing a ceramic cup just for no sake and my mother refuses to let me out and constantly moles me and names me and has favorited my older brother in many cases just cause he is my older brother. In certain points my father threatened to beat me till I couldn’t talk or move and i just feel ridiculously stressed and wanna leave my home every second of the day

[ccsmod10]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
We hope to hear from you soon.

Be safe, NRS