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I'm 14 and I want to move out

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  • Me and my dad get in a lot of arguments and recently he’s been threatening to hit me with his fists, and one time he got wayyyyy too serious, he tried to hit me with an iron skillet, I told him to do it and see what happened but then my mom got in the middle of it and I ran out the door while they were distracted and I went to my friend’s house about a mile down and ever since then I’m just scared to be here, my girlfriends is a little bit older than me and she said she would help me get emancipated and she would let me live with her and all that but I just don’t know what to do, would that be enough to win the court room hearing so I can be emancipated?
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 09-17-2019, 02:47 AM.

    Comment


    • Me and my dad get in a lot of arguments

      Hi,
      Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline.

      It sounds like you are in a tough situation and may be looking for some options to help cope with everything. One of those options seems to be emancipation.
      NRS would like you to know we are here to support you at this difficult time.
      If you would like to get information about emancipation laws in your state, please contact us at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) orwww.1800Runaway.org (live chat).
      We understand how difficult it must have been to speak about the things that have been going on. You don’t deserve the threats of violence against you or to feel unsafe at home.
      You are very brave for reaching out for help. Good for you.

      NRS is here to listen and here to help.
      Having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of. We are here as support to help you and your friend through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

      Take care,
      NRS


      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

      Comment


      • Hello. I have been miserable in my household for far too long, I am 14 years old, and though I am aware this is a young age for considering such a decision- I believe now that this would be in my best interest. Since I was young my mom has not let my siblings and I have freedom. We are rarely able to even walk up the street by ourselves. I cannot spend time with my friends outside of school without an adult or a sibling watching my every move, in public areas my mother belittles me saying I do not know how terrible the world is, and that I am too stupid to protect myself, even though- I am 5’7”, 175 pounds- and know basic ways to defend myself. I have shared a room with my homophobic 13 year old sister for far too long as well- and I need space. My birth mother and birth father have been divorced since I was 6 years old- and he has been living in Missouri since then- but has recently moved to the northern area. I want to legally leave home for a while- but there’s an emotional problem. It would break my mother’s heart to leave, but I feel now that I need to get away before I regret it. Do you have any thoughts, laws, legal views, advice?

        Comment


        • ccsmod1
          ccsmod1 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hey there,

          Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension, it makes sense that you would want the same kind of independence that other kids your age have. You mentioned that your dad has recently moved to an area that might be closer to you. If you are thinking about living with your dad it might be a good idea to speak with him directly about the possibility of him taking on custody. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

          It’s important to consider all the possibilities that can occur if you leave home. You will need to plan out how you will cover basic necessities like travel, food, clothing, etc. If you have a place to go in mind, it’s good to see what the expectations of the living arrangement will be like; rules, the amount of time you’re allowed to stay, if you’re expected to contribute financially, etc. Living on your own can also bring about many safety risks. You will need to consider ways that you can protect yourself from physical harm as well as the possibility of sexual and labor exploitation. This can all influence your decision to leave.

          It sounds like your mom isn’t fully understanding you when you are trying to relay your thoughts and feelings about your current situation. It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your mom so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself.

          If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

          Stay safe,
          NRS

      • So I am 14 I don't know my real dad and my mom died 7 months ago so I live with my grandparents and the drink alot and when they drink my grandpa pee's on the couch or in a bed I have a 11 year old sister and when my grandpa gets really drunk he will walk around the house naked I have a grandma that is not blood related but has always been there for me and she said I I need to I can move in with her I don't know what to do I am tired of them yelling at me for one dirty dish being in the sink or if I come home from school and take a nap I also have a friend and her parents said that I can stay with them if I need to and I stayed with them half of the summer I just don't know how to live this house .

        Comment


        • ccsmod1
          ccsmod1 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hey there,

          Thanks for sharing what's been going on, we know that it takes a great deal of courage. Our deepest condolences to you and your sister on the passing of your mom, it can be really hard to lose someone so important in your life and it's not something that you should have to go through at such a young age. Your resilience through this period is really admirable and you should feel pride in yourself for the abundance of strength that you have.

          It can be really hard to live with someone who struggles with an addiction to alcohol. We want you to know that you are not alone. If you’d like to talk to other young people who are dealing with friends or family members who have drinking problems you can check out Alateen. You can find more information about this support group, or find a local meeting here: https://al-anon.org/newcomers/teen-corner-alateen/.

          Your grandfather's behavior sounds very worrisome and might be considered neglect. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering. It may also be a good idea to speak with a case worker about your "grandma" or friend's family as possible custodial options.

          If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

          Stay safe,
          NRS

      • Hello. I have been miserable in my household

        Hi,
        Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline.

        It sounds like you are in a tough situation and may be looking for some options to help cope with everything.
        We understand how difficult and frustrating it must be for you. Your feelings matter. You do not deserve to be put down by anyone. It’s not your fault that your mother speaks to you negatively.
        You are very brave for reaching out to talk about your situation. Good for you.

        NRS would like you to know we are here to support you at this difficult time.
        We do not offer advice on the law or otherwise but we can explore options with you about coping with your situation. NRS is here to listen and here to help.
        Having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of. We are here as support to help you and your friend through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat.

        If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
        Contact us at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or www.1800Runaway.org (live chat).


        Take care,
        NRS


        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • I'm 14, about to turn 15 and my god mother always degrades me and it drains me emotionally and sometimes physically I have friends to go to I just know I cant stay here

          Comment


          • Hello,

            It takes amazing strength to reach out to NRS. We appreciate you sharing what has been going on.
            You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services).

            If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.

            Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. It is not your fault that your mother is doing this.
            If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to or seek emergency assistance immediately.

            Be safe and stay strong,
            NRS



            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • I'm 14 and I would like to move out my family is always screaming at me for the simplest things and i'm going to be grounded with no access to any internet or communication for about another year or two they have no respect for me and they have been very aggressive and threatening the stress is terrible and I don't know how much more I can take. I'm sick of being depressed and I don't know whether to run away or kill myself.
              Last edited by ccsmod4; 09-21-2019, 01:56 AM.

              Comment


              • I'm 14 and I would like to move out

                Hi there,
                Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

                We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end with you running away or suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255);www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org[/url] is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.
                Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
                This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. You are welcome to talk and explore options or attempt to come up with a plan that helps you to cope with your situation.

                If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org[/url] (click on the chat button).
                We hope to hear from you soon.

                Be safe and stay strong,
                NRS

                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                National Runaway Safeline
                [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                Comment


                • I'm 14 and I just want to leave my mom. I don't have the guts to run away because there is no where I could go except my uncle's place. My mom doesn't physically abuse me now but she has quite a few times when I was younger. When I was 8, her and my adult sister threw me on the back porch and almost made me sleep out there. When I was 9, she scratched my face and when her friend asked about it, she said I just got into an accident. When I was around 5 my adult sister hit me multiple times. My sister had a habit of hitting me quite a few times when I was little. Now that I'm older, the physical sides of things are done for the most part, they are still very mean and I just am not happy. I had a panic attack recently over something "stupid" as my mom says. They were asking me about why I don't like docters but I like animal doctors, I was stressed out from the asking and I was not sure how to answer. When I had the attack, her and my 2 adult sisters just walked away and left me. It hurt so much. I just want someone who would love and care for me no matter what. I have no one because even though my dad isn't really abusive, he does nothing to help me. I really just want to be loved and comforted when I get scared. I have been digonosed with General anxiety and aspurgers syndrome and I see a therapist but I never tell her anything, I'm too scared that my family will find out. Or that she won't believe me because my mom is so nice to her. Please, what do I do? I just want to be completely loved so much. My mom says she loves me and shows me affection but this is only when she's not mad at me. I know it sounds selfish but I just want someone who would always be willing to pull me into their arms and comfort me. Even if I'm panicking. I need to be touched when I'm panicking because it helps ground me. I have thought in the past about suicide by taking pills but I don't do it because somewhere in the back of my mind, I think one day someone will love so much. Loved in a parental or sibling way, I don't like relationships. But still, please, what do I do?

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod10
                    ccsmod10 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Thank you so much for reaching out! You’ve taken the initiative in seeking help, and it does not go unnoticed.

                    To begin with, you mentioned that there was physical abuse going on in the household when you were much younger. No one deserves to go through any psychical, emotional, or verbal abuse. You’re really brave for being ab to open up about your past, as well as expressing that the physical abuse has resided; if it were to re-occur, you can reach out to the National Child Abuse hotline at 1800)422-4453.

                    Furthermore, suicide is a difficult subject to talk about, and sometimes may not be taken lightly. We care about your safety, and wouldn’t want anything to happen to you. If at any point in time you are feeling suicidal again, the national suicide prevention lifeline at 1800) 273-8255, is a great resource for help. Most people in your situation would’ve given up by now, and it’s great that what keeps you going is knowing that it is going to get better with your family. An option to explore so you can build a better relationship with your family, is to open up to your therapist about your thoughts and feelings. Your therapist may identify ways in which you and your family can talk amongst each other in family therapy. You may also look into having a heart to heart open discussion with your family on your own, and let them know how your feelings are hurt sometimes when they don’t take your panic attacks serious, thus, making you feel unloved and uncared for.

                    Again, we’re really glad appreciative you reached out to us! It takes a lot to ask for help and you’re trying to figure out your options which is really good to see. If you need any additional resources or would like to chat further, you can always give us a call at 1800) 786-2929. Remember, you’re not alone in this, best of luck!

                • Aye man I'm also 14 years old idk if you are going to see this but I have been wanting to move out too. I have a job and I have places ik I could stay I just don't know how I could move out where I wouldn't get arrested and taken back home

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod10
                    ccsmod10 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hi there,

                    You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your legal guardian's permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your guardans. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

                    Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

                    Be safe,

                    NRS

                • Hi, I’m 13 and I want to move out of my house I love my parents to death, but I can’t deal with it I feel as my dad is disappointed in me I wish I could get a job find a apartment then live where I do. She recently got married in 2018 and my step dad is really intense and I hate it. He can be nice some days and other days he gets mad at really simple things and it has started to change her. I love her so so so much it sucks thinking about leaving and I know I have the be 14 but I want to leave now.

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod15
                    ccsmod15 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hi, thank you for reaching out to us; we are glad that you did. It sounds like it’s pretty stressful for you at home. Your mom’s recent marriage and the adjustments there and not knowing which mood your step dad is going to be in can make things hard for you and your mom with this new stress.
                    You say that you want to move out either now or at 14. Unfortunately in most states you have to be at least 18, and in a few it’s older than that. We hope that you might find an adult or family member that you can talk to about what you are going through, and then help you talk about this with your mom. We would also like to help you figure out your options.
                    We are here for you to talk about this and help you to find out what your options are. You can contact us either by phone at 1-800-786-2929 (1-800-RUNAWAY) or via live chat through the website www.1800runaway.org We are here for you 24/7 to listen and to help.
                    We hope this helps and that we might hear from you soon.
                    Sincerely, NRS

                • I always get mad I just want to live with my grandma I love my grandma and my dad but my mom makes me mad

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod15
                    ccsmod15 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hi, thank you for reaching out to us; we are glad that you did. It sounds like you’d like to live with your grandma. You love your dad, but your mom makes you mad. It can be hard to have a parent that makes you mad and one that doesn’t. We hope that you can talk to your dad and grandma about this and about the things that make you mad. It’d ok to feel mad, because having feelings is normal, but what can be hard is not knowing how to deal with the mad that you feel.
                    We are here for you to talk about this and help you to find out what your options are. You can contact us either by phone at 1-800-786-2929 (1-800-RUNAWAY) or via live chat through the website www.1800runaway.org We are here for you 24/7 to listen and to help.
                    We hope this helps and that we might hear from you soon.
                    Sincerely, NRS

                • I’m 14 and my mom hits me sometimes and calls me out of my name she threatens me and my dog Where homeless with my disabled grandpa and im currently running away I’m not home I don’t want to go back I can’t its to much stress she thinks everything is my fault and I need help

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod9
                    ccsmod9 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hi there,
                    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody. Since you have runaway it might be a good idea to find someone who you trust to perhaps take you in while you are homeless. You can also give us a call to plan out your next steps.
                    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
                    If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
                    We hope to hear from you soon.
                    Be safe,
                    NRS

                • Im 14. I am having alot of trouble living at home and i just want to move out. I have friends that are willing to let me live with them. Their mum's are ok with it aswell. I really want to move out but i dont know how to bring it up to my mum. I also dont know if i want to Talk to her about it or just get up and run away. Please help

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod1
                    ccsmod1 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hey there,

                    Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. It looks like you may be located in Australia. You may want to check out Kids Helpline by going to https://www.kidshelp.com.au/ they may be more knowledgeable about the laws and resources available to you there.

                    We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

                    Be safe,
                    NRS
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