I'm 14 and I want to move out

[Guest]

I honestly just want to leave this house. Like this past night my mother left and went somewhere because of me. Neither me nor my dad dont know where she went. Lately ive been feeling like ive been messing a lot of stuff up. And I just don't want to mess up anything else, I might go live at a friends grandparents house. They are basically like family to me and i would rather be over there than here. And my parents took away my phone cause they think ive been sending nudes. i dont and ive told them that before but they dont trust me at all. They took my phone cause i talk to my friends to much, i talk to them cause i feel like they are the only people i can go to sometimes and i feel comfortable talking to them about the fact that im not ok most of the time. But I dont know what to do, what should i do?

[ccsmod6]

Hey there, thank you for reaching out to us today! We can tell you are very strong and independent and would like to be more understood and loved, and that your family is not being there for you. We want you to know that we are here for you, and that you are not alone.
It sounds like maybe there isn’t clear communication between you and your family, and they overreact and become mistrusting towards you. One option may be to talk to them, either one on one, or as a group. Perhaps an option would be to either prepare a conversation with them of how you feel, or look for a counselor to get involved to help. Miscommunication in families is a common thing, and it is very understandable to feel upset over that and how they falsely accuse you. We have some services here at National Runaway Safeline such as conference calling (a call between a liner, you, and your parents) and message service (a service where you leave a message for your parents) if you would like us to help you with a conversation with your parents. It sounds like you simply want to communicate to your parents that you need to talk to your friends because they understand you, and if your parents could understand that, you would be much happier. You deserve for your feelings to be validated.
In terms of running away, an important thing to know is that as long as you are a minor, your parents are entitled to file a runaway report, and that running away is considered a status offense, not a crime. If there is a report out on you and you encounter the police, they will be entitled to notify your guardian and return you home. It depends on the police department, however, on how they process reports. Additionally, while we are not legal experts, any adult sheltering you could be at risk of harboring a runaway, which is usually considered a misdemeanor.
It sounds like you have a very good support network with your friends. That is a really great and important thing to have. Perhaps another option is to reach out to another adult, teacher, or school counselor to tell them how you feel. Perhaps your friend’s grandparents can be another resource to you as well for help. In any case, if you are in need of a safe place, National Safe Place is a resource there for you by texting SAFE and your location to 44357.
If you need any resources such as shelters, self-help lines, or more referrals and resources, feel free to call in to our hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY and we can help you. Again, we’re really glad you reached out to us. It takes a lot to ask for help and you are trying to figure out your options which is really good to see. If you would like to talk further about your situation, please do not hesitate to call or chat with us. We’re here to listen, here to help.

[Guest]

I'm 14 my situation is pretty bad I have a cousin telling me to move in me and him have always been close but my dad wont let me I'm curious if thier is any legal documents to give my cousin legal guardian ship of me to let me move in with him even part adoption could work

[ccsmod9]

Hi there,

You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your parent’s permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

Be safe,

NRS

[Guest]

I’m 14 and I want to move to a different state anywhere but Michigan but I would like to live in or near Missouri I have a lot of friends and family here and I hate to leave them but also I’m a way I don’t care I could just FaceTime them I atleast want to live in a different state for a year I hate it here like I cried all day because of how much I hate it I don’t know what to do

[ccsmod6]

Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We’re sorry to hear that you are so miserable where you are and it is understandable why you would want to leave a place that makes you feel like that. Unfortunately, because you’re still a minor, your parents would have the right to have the police look for you and return you home if you left without their permission. It could be a good idea to talk to them about maybe taking more time to go out of state. That could look like vacations or maybe looking into boarding school or camp opportunities in other states like Missouri. If you want to talk more about what your options are or how to run away in a safe manner, please don’t hesitate to call us on our 24/7 hotline 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

I am 13 and I'm sick of my mom yelling at me every single day. She yells at me for no reason all the time. She blames everything on me. I'm either going to kill myself or runaway. I can't do this anymore. My dad is in rehab and I am going to try to move in with him when he gets out. My dad is always nice to me and never yells at me. When he tells me he loves me I feel it but when my mom says she loves me I don't believe it. My grandma always takes her side and says that I'm disrespectful. I cant to this anymore I need advice before anything gets worse. Sometimes I just cry thinking about my situation. She does a lot for me she's just really mean. Like I've said before I really can't do this anymore. She will either find me dead with a note or wont find me at all. I'm very depressed and I want to move in with my Aunt.Please help me.

[ccsmod10]

Hello! Thank you for reaching out to NRS! Your situation sounds very difficult. You deserve to feel loved and supported at home. You said that you might kill yourself. We take this very seriously. Your safety is our first priority. If you feel like you are going to kill yourself you can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1800-273-8255. They can help provide support for you during this rough time. You also mention that you are depressed. We have a resource that might be beneficial to you. You can reach out to NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) at 1800-950-NAMI or text NAMI to 741741. They can offer you support on how you are feeling and also help find some resources for you regarding your mental health.
You deserve to be treated well at home. Child Help might be a good resource to call when dealing with the way your mom treats you. You can call them at 1800-422-4453. They would be able to talk with you about your situation and figure out what steps can be taken to help you. You can also always call us at 1800-786-2929 or visit us via out live chat at www.1800runaway.org. We would be able to answer questions you may have or be a listening ear. We are 24/7 and are confidential.

Stay safe.
National Runaway Safeline

[Guest]

I’m 15 and it’s hard living at home my parents are constantly fighting it’s hard to listen to they where gonna get a divorce and my father blamed it on me my mother makes me out to be some with socializing problems and always goes on to people that I don’t like mixing and I’m weird growing up I was abused and still get flashbacks I always argue with my sister and lose my temper on her and then feel bad it’s so frustrating I’m always under pressure to be perfect at school and everything I do

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. It's not fair to you that your parents put you at the center of their own issues. You mentioned that you were abused when you were younger. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/.

You also brought up that you have been having some flashbacks about the abuse and have been feeling like you are under a lot of pressure. It could be a good idea to try to speak with your parents about how this is all affecting you. You may want to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your parents so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

Stay safe,
NRS

[Guest]

hi im 14 and i want to move out . I have looked at apartments , i want to graduate early so i can move out younger . My mom yells at me even if i make a little mistake . She expects me to be perfect and i a can't be . I'm tired of trying to make her happy because she never will me . sometimes i wonder what my life would be like if she wasn't in it . i just can't live with her . i am trying to be happy and she won't let me be . i love her so much and want her to be my best friend but she always gives me a reason not to trust her or tell her things . i want to move with my grandma (my dads mom) because i can't take this anymore . i have never cried so much in one day but i just now i can say i have . she doesn't give me respect , support me , or show that she cares . she has made fun of me for my anxiety and has made fun of me . should i tell her ?

[ccsmod9]

Hi there,

You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your mom’s permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your mom. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

Be safe,

NRS

[Guest]

So i need some help...my brother is 14, im 20 with 2 kids. I want so bad to take my little brother on full time as our dad doesn't provide him with the best care..i love my dad but this isn't okay...my dad never has gas for hot showers, never cooks proper meals drinks a lot, his mrs tells my brother that my mum didn't want him and stuff n when my brother tries to go home our dad says no sorry its not the right time....my brother is living with me at the moment but my dad is going to court to get custody what can I do....

[ccsmod11]

Hello, and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). It sounds like there is a lot going on for you and your brother right now. Your brother is very lucky to have you in his life, someone to care for him and want what is best for him.

We try to not tell people what they should or shouldn’t do as we trust that it is you who knows your situation the best. We could likely help best via phone 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat (www.1800RUNAWAY.org) as we are unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin. A call or chat allows for more exploration of the situation like what has or hasn’t been tried so as not to explore options you already have or aren’t interested in for whatever reason. That being said, it sounds like reporting your dad’s treatment of your brother to Child Protective Services might be an option. If you feel like reporting is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/.

You also mentioned your dad going to court to get custody. If you are in need of legal assistance to fight him in court, we would be happy to look up attorney contact info that would be free or low-cost. If you’re interested in resources, or to talk in more detail about your situation or have any questions please call 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat with us (www.1800RUNAWAY.org). We’re here to listen and here to help in whatever way we can. We hope to hear from you soon, NRS

[Guest]

Hi, I'm 14 and I live with my mother. Sometimes my mum gets stressed out after work so she yells at me a lot for really small things and it's been going on for a long time. She knows that she annoys me but it's like she doesn't care and just keeps me around to relieve anger. Everytime she yells at me it really brings me down and I don't have my own room either so I get uncomfortable when I can't have cool down after an argument with her, I want to move out but I don't know anyone who would be fine with me living with them

[ccsmod11]

Hi, and thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like there is a lot going on right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options.

Before being 18, the easiest way to leave home is with your mom’s permission. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 and be able to demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process, may cost money for court fees, and may require your parent/guardians consent. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

If you'd like to talk in more detail about your situation or have any questions please call 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat with us (www.1800RUNAWAY.org) as we can best help by phone or chat. Best, NRS

[Guest]

I'm 14 and hate where I live it's disgusting there are mice everywhere as well as bugs and slugs my bed has bugs and I feel like I live in a dump. My mum does not care one bit about the house and as soon as I try to clear it up I get scared when I start seeing bones of animals that have died. I don't even have my own room I'm trapped in a tiny room with my mum who could care less about my wellbeing and sanity. I want to leave but have absoluetly no one to go to or anywhere to run to. I would have no way of getting any savings or money as my mum keeps a tight leash in it and is probably the only thing she looks after. I need to leave can you please help me ?

[ccsmod10]

Thank you for reaching out to us and telling us your story. It sounds like you are going through a very difficult time right now and we hope to be able to help. You should be able to feel comfortable in your own home and we are sorry to hear about all the things you have to deal with. We’re not legal experts here at NRS. Generally it’s not illegal to leave home, but depending on your age your parents could file a runaway report, the police could get involved, and they could bring you home. The people you’re staying with could potentially get in trouble for having you stay there if your mom did not give you permission to stay there. You could consider calling your local nonemergency police department to ask about their policies. We also have legal aid resources here if you have specific questions about the laws in your state.

If you don’t feel safe and feel like you need to get away Nationalsafeplace.org provides a safe location for you to meet a staff member who can take you to a designated place where you can discuss all options about how to stay safe. You can text 44357 the word “safe,” and your location to find a safe location in your area. Once you arrive let someone who works there know you need help connecting with a staff member. We can also look up shelters in your area but many require your parents’ consent to stay there.

One service we can offer is to conference call with your parents. This way you could have a conversation with your parents but you would not be alone. For example, it may be hard for you to explain to your mom how you would like things to change at home and how they are effecting you. Sometimes those conversations go better in a conference call because we can advocate for you. If you want to reach us, you can chat with us anytime at 1800runaway.org or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We’re here 24/7, and we are ready to listen and help however we can.

[Guest]

My mam doesn’t like me she like my brother ugh

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your mom so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

Stay safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Hey
I'm 15, almost 16, and I want to go away just far far away. I can't keep hurting people especially my family. the worse part is I don't intentionally try to hurt them, I just do. every time I do something, I hurt someone and I can't do it anymore. my parents are divorced and I live with my dad after I left mum at 14 because it wasn't safe anymore for me, but now I don't feel like its safe for dad to have me. I wish I could just go to a boarding school or somewhere that isn't home. it's like I'm breaking up my family and I can't see it until its too late.

I sneak out at night when I need space and I go for runs n stuff but then I'm yelled at for going out and I understand but I don't even think of that when I'm running. it's nice to be free but I can only run at night because I'm always grounded and the place I live is very populated.

I want to die because at this point that's the only option I can see to stop hurting them. my step mum is basically my mum I couldn't even describe how close I feel to her but she couldn't even look at me today, she said to me either she goes or I go and I don't know anymore. I disappoint them so much and it kills me that I do.

I also feel like I'm a compulsive liar because I had to be when living with mum to protect me n my siblings but now I can't shake off the habit and it's ruining my life. the worse part is that I want to die but I'm too much of a pussy to do it, I physically can't bring myself to just do it, which I find strange because I can cut I just can't down some pills you'd think that would be easier but I don't know, I'm just dumb.

I have had a counsellor at school for like 6 months and she's still asking me dumb questions like "what's your relationship with your mum like?" and "Do you have any siblings?" which I've told her repeatedly I just feel like we aren't getting anywhere even though I want to. She patronizes me and makes me feel worse about myself but shes the only councillor the schools got so I don't know what to do about that. some days I feel really depressed and down and I just don't want to talk as much as normal or something and then she gets annoyed with me. its also meant to be confidential but I overheard her talking about me to another teacher, not about anything concerning just talking blatantly about me.

[ccsmod16]

Hi there,
Thanks for reaching out to us at NRS. We’re glad you did. It sounds like you are going through a really tough time. That must be scary and frustrating.
If you are having thoughts of harming yourself, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or suicidepreventionlifeline.org. They are available to help you 24/7. You can also find some helpful mental health resources by reaching out to NAMI, 1800-950-NAMI or Text NAMI to 741741.
It sounds like you could really use someone to talk to. We’re here to listen at any time. We could talk about some ways to manage stress. If you’d like, we could also do a conference call with you and your step mum. Maybe we could help figure out some ways to communicate. It sounds like you have a lot of pressure on you, and it would be great if you could lean on someone. We could also try to help you talk to your dad.
It’s great that you are trying to better your situation. We’re happy to help you do that. Feel free to call us at 1-800-Runaway.
Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

I’m 14 wanna move out cause both my parents hate me I act out to try and get positive attention from them but I don’t ive been hospitalised for drinking to much and they both truley dislike me they threaten me that if I do anything bad then I won’t be able to see my friends and if I’m lucky enough to be able to go out with my friends when I get back a sudden depression hits because I my friends treat me so much better then my parents do and I wish I could live with anyone but them

[ccsmod3]

Thank you so much for reaching out to us we know it was tough to talk about these issues you are experiencing and it’s really brave that you decided to tell us about it. It must be really hard not to feel liked by your parents. It seems like you are trying to get their attention but the methods that you are choosing are not working and could be harmful to you. It’s a great thing that you are aware that you could be making better choices.
As a minor if you are planning on running away or leaving the household to move somewhere else there could possibly be consequences. Your parents could file a runaway report and get the police involved. The police would then bring you back to your current household but it wouldn’t be any criminal charges. It seems like your friends are really important and that they value you and make you feel supported.
If you want some other people to talk to who may understand what you are going through, you could contact the NAMI, text 741741 or SAMHSA at 1-877-726-4727. Those resources can help you when you are feeling depressed or struggling with some of those issues you stated above. Also you could always contact NRS at 1800-RUNAWAY if you wanted some support having a conversation with your parents about what you have been feeling. We are here to help and listen and we are 24/7.Best of luck with everything and thank you again for contacting us!

[Guest]

I'm 14 my dad beats up me and my siblings but my siblings moved out bc they are old enough. My dad he drinks all the time does drugs and my mom don't help she just says it your fault all the time to me and I haven't even done anything. I have a boyfriend and he helps me but he can't do anything bc im 14. I said im running away and he said as long as he could go with me but I feel my dad will just do something bad to me again. I dont feel safe in my home I get grounded over nothing. I used to do drugs to make me feel better but all it did was make me get beat up more and I fight with my mom over the dumbest ********. I can't stand my house anymore I need to leave and I want to leave. Anything yall could tell me to help besides that I leagally can't leave till 18 and that if they file a runaway report I would be force to come home?

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to NRS. From what you mentioned you have been dealing with a lot at home and asking for help is a really good first step. Home is supposed to be safe and it sounds like your parents have been making home dangerous for you. You do not deserve to get beaten up by your dad and any form of harm, physical or emotional, is not okay.

You do have the option of making an abuse report. This would mean that caseworker would likely come to your house to talk to you and your parents. Having evidence of the abuse can help show the caseworker that home is not safe. Since you mentioned that your dad is physically abusive, it would be helpful to take pictures of any marks or bruises that result from him hitting you. If you want more information how the reporting process goes or you would like to file the report, you can contact the national child abuse hotline at 1-800-422-553. A teacher or a school guidance counselor that you trust can also help you with this situation whether it is making the report or giving you a safe space to talk about what has been going on.

We are available 24/7 to listen and help. Please do not hesitate to call us at 1-800-786-2929 or 1800runaway.org if you want to talk more about what is going on and explore your options.

-NRS

[Guest]

Hi i am 14 years old i have never done anything seriousy wrong for my dad and parents to hate me. I go out with my friends maybe once every two weeksx i try to keep myself busy so i am never home to get in trouble to do anything wrong for my parents to hate me or get mad at me, i try super hard to keep my share at the house and help with chores, my parents dont seem to see that. They dont believe me and have no trust but i hve nebcer done anything for them to lose the trust over the smallest things, i share a room and get yelled at for having my door closed yet all that i want is some privacy. My bestfriend in the worl told me that she has room for mw to live with her and my grandma also. i just have thought about alot of bad things before to do to myself, i have always wondered what life would be like if ilived with my real biological father but it will never happen i am ready to runaway but i cant manup and do it. Please help me with something.

[ccsmod15]

Hi, and thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like things at home have been difficult. To feel your parents hate you, and for no reason, sounds extremely difficult to deal with. No deserves to be made to feel that way.
It sounds like if you do leave you have a safe place to stay with either your friend and/or your grandma. Glad to know there are people in your life who will help you. Please know that we, too, are here to listen and here to help. It’s difficult to know based on a post how we can best help. Since we are unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin it may be best to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat with us (www.1800runaway.org).
You also mentioned that you’ve thought about a lot of bad things to do to yourself. Two resources that may be helpful in addition to our crisis services are:
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-TALK (8255)

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Self-Injury Outreach and Support

http://sioutreach.org/

Please don’t hesitate to call or chat with us to continue this conversation. We hope to hear from you soon. Best, NRS

[Guest]

Hi I am 14 I extremely want to move out I can’t live with my family anymore I need to be independent I still think about my mums boyfriend cracking my brothers head and my mum threatening to punch me i don’t feel safe anymore but I suppose I have to wait 2 more year because my will not let me move out I can’t and I don’t want to stay here anymore

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,

Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through an incredibly difficult time right now. What described seems like it could be abuse you could always make a report if you would like. You can make a report by contacting Child Help at- 1800-422-4453.
We are not legal experts but do have some general information. If you were to leave before turning 18 your legal guardian could file a runaway report. If the police did find you they most likely would bring you home. You could consider talking with a school counselor about what is going on. Sometimes talking with a school counselor can make you feel better and they may be able to provide options for you.
We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any more questions or would like to explore options please give us a call. We ae here 24/7 to listen and provide support. We wish you the best of luck!
NRS