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  • I'm 14 and I want to move out

    I'm 14 and I've been wanting to move out for 2-3 years. I have a few friends nearby who would take me in. I just can't stand it where I am anymore. My mother drinks every Thursday, Friday, and most Saturdays. When she does, she doesn't stop screaming at me. It gets really bad and it'll be over little things like, I forgot to sweep the floor or something. She also calls me names and makes fun of me. She acts like my little sister is an angel and treats her like one but looks at me like I'm a mistake that she would've aborted if she believed in it. I don't think I can take it anymore.

  • #2
    Hello. Thank you for reaching out to us here at NRS (National Runaway Safeline). It sounds like you are going through a really difficult time right now and have a lot to think about. No one deserves to feel unsafe in their home. We want to help you get to a safe and comfortable place.
    Although we are not law experts here at NRS, we can tell you that you cannot legally live on your own, or with people other than your legal guardian, until you reach the age of majority (which is 18 in most states). If you choose to leave your home and your mother files a runaway report, you could be forced to return home by the police.
    If you feel you are in immediate danger, please don’t hesitate to call 911. A resource you could find helpful is ChildHelp (https://www.childhelp.org/) at 1-800-422-4453. ChildHelp is geared towards helping youth in unsafe homes. Another resource you could try is Families Anonymous (http://www.familiesanonymous.org/) at 800-736-9805 which helps friends and families of problem drinkers. Lastly, a good resource to try would be Al-Anon Family Groups (http://al-anon.org/home) which does similar. We encourage you to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY to talk more directly about your situation.
    We hope to hear from you soon.
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Me and my mom fight every single day. My grandpa has control of my phone and she has lied to him to tell him to get it shut off so I can’t call any family to come get me when I want to leave. She yells at me and even smacks me she goes to game rooms and is gone all day leaving me at home to take care of my disabled grandma. I have wayyy to much stress on my shoulders and I don’t think I can do it anymore. I have somewhere I could go but she would find me. She leave between 11-3 in the morning to go work at a game room and that is my opportunity to run. This is my last option before I run away. I’m 14 and I cant even live in my own home anymore. It doesn’t even feel like home. It feels like prison. If I don’t get some help I will be gone tonight by 12....

      Comment


      • ccsmod5
        ccsmod5 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hey,
        Thank you for sharing some of your story. It sounds like you’re in a stressful situation with your mom and you want to run away. It can be difficult constantly fighting with your mother and having to care for someone on your own. As a fourteen year old, this should not be your responsibility and we understand that can be overwhelming. You also mention that your mom smacks you sometimes. It’s not okay for your mom to hurt you and you have the right to notify child protective services. For more information on what constitutes abuse and what might happen if you do file an abuse report, you can call Child Help (aka the National Child Abuse Hotline) at 1-800-422-4453.
        It sounds like you’re planning to run away and have a specific time in mind. It could be helpful to know some general information about runaway laws (though we are not legal experts). Since you are a minor, your mom would have the right to file a runaway report and if the police are able to locate you they may return you home. That being said, if you do decide to leave, your safety is our number one priority. Before leaving, you may want to consider the following: where you’ll go, how long you’ll stay, where you’ll get food and money, and if you have clothing appropriate for extreme weather.
        It sounds like your mom isn’t treating you in the way you would like to be treated. It could be an option to talk to her about how you’ve been feeling and see if there’s any way she can support you better. It might help to have another adult there while you have that conversation so it stays fair. That person could be a therapist, guidance counselor, or even one of our liners here at NRS. We are able to facilitate a conference call between you and your mom if you need help talking to her.
        Thank you again for reaching out. We hope this was helpful and we encourage you to reach out by phone if you need additional resources or need help figuring out your options. Our number is 1-800-786-2929 and our lines are always open. If you have a moment, we'd appreciate your feedback of our crisis services at the following link:
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think
        Stay safe!

    • #4
      I don’t feel like running away but more like moving out with my uncle. My dad is out of the picture for a while now and my mom recently found a boyfriend which I’m not a fan of because he’s changing her. She’s almost never home and doesn’t talk to me anymore and I feel like I have no one near me to talk to or to socialize with. I don’t know what to do anymore cause I feel pretty lonely all the time and I get sad and even depressed sometimes. Any advices?

      Comment


      • ccsmod10
        ccsmod10 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,

        Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runway Safeline. We appreciate you contacting us in your time of need, it was very brave of you.

        It sounds like your home life isn’t very happy for you because of your mom. You never deserve to be talked down to or brought down. Your feelings are valid. It’s completely understandable that the way that your mom treats you has effected your mental health and that you want to live with your uncle. We offer a conference calling service, between youth and their parents. If you ever wanted our help talking to your mom about moving in with your uncle or ways for your mom to be okay with you dating, we're always here to make that call with you. Unfortunately, we’re non-directive at NRS, so we aren’t able to give you advice or tell you what the right decision is.

        If you’d like more help brainstorming other options, we’re always here! We are open, 24/7 if you needed us to try to find more resources!

        Best, NRS

    • #5
      So I'm 14 and want to move out. I love my family, but sometimes my mom and dad get mad at me for the simplest of things. It's more of them yelling to much and scaring me than hitting. I want to move in with my friend, his mom said it was perfectly fine, and as long as I'm safe it's okay. My mom and dad can be so great one day and so rude another day. I already know what i want to do but my mom doesn't want me to leave. I love her so much and same with the rest of my family but i just want to move in with my friend. Any advice?

      Comment


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,
        Thanks so much for reaching out. We are here to help!
        Running away is a big decision so we are glad you reached out first. In most states, 18 is the legal age when you can leave home. Leaving home before then means your parents can file a runaway report and if the police come into contact with you, they usually take you back home.
        It sounds like you really love your family and don’t want to hurt them but also want to get out of the house. You mentioned your mom does not want you to go, so you may consider if she would file a report with police and/or if she would know where you went.

        It sounds like you have a plan of going to your friend’s house. If you want any further support or to talk more about your plan, call us 24/7 at 1-800-786-2929 or via live chat through our website when it is open.

        Thanks again for posting! WE are here for you to support you!

    • #6
      Hello. I really am stressed out. I am 14 years old and here are a couple of things I struggle with. I don’t have my own room which makes it hard to complete homework, talk on the phone, and have alone time which is good for mental health. I also cannot go to the school I Would prefer because of where I live. Also, I feel like there is so space in my house. I feel like an extra person just lingering around with no purpose.

      Comment


      • #7
        Reply:Hello. I'm really am stressed out.

        Hi there,
        Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

        We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
        We are sorry that things are not going well for you. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and it has you feeling uncertain. We’re glad you reached out.
        We would like you to know NRS is here to listen and here to help. Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of.
        This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this difficult time.
        NRS is here to listen and here to help.
        If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

        Take care,
        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #8
          im 14 and i want to move out with my best friend i havent asked her and i dont know what her parents will say but i dont even have my own room i share with my mom and sister i have no personal space barely focus on homework and i did something really dumb at school and it was a big mistake and i regret it but she took my phone she brings that thing up everytime she cant trust me no more i give up on everything now and i just want to move out i cant stand her i have no freedom she is up my butt 24/7 and i just gotta move out i cant im literally to the point i want to die

          Comment


          • ccsmod15
            ccsmod15 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there, thanks for reaching out. It sounds like things are crowded and difficult at home right now and you are wanting some more freedom.
            It can be tough when you feel your parents don't trust you after making a mistake. Perhaps you could find someone who is willing to help you talk to your mom: another family member, neighbor, or adult at school. Sometimes having a neutral third party can help relieve some tension. We also offer conference calling here. Call us anytime and we can discuss what that looks like: 1-800-786-2929.
            You mentioned wanting to runaway and stay with a friend. Some things to consider are how you would feel if your mom filed a runaway report, if your friend's parents would let you stay there, how you would continue school, and get clothes, food, and medical care if needed.

            You are in a very frustrating situation and it is understandable that you are looking for help and feel trapped. You did mention wanting to die. We care a lot about your safety and want to make sure you are okay. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 24/7 just like us: 1-800-273-8255, suicidepreventionlifeline.org. They have a hotline and an online chat that is open 24/7, and so do we! If you are ever in crisis, please reach out to one of these numbers. If you are in immediate danger, you can always call 911.

            You have shown a lot of courage by reaching out tonight. Thank you for your post! We are here 24/7.

        • #9
          Hi, im 14 and I really want to move out.. I have disappointed my parents too often and I feel ashamed of just being in the house with them. They say they love me but I dont believe it, i feel like they dont see me as their daughter anymore but I have made some huge mistakes and sexual activity over the years. I dont know how i will live.. I am only a freshman in high school and I am too young to get a job (according to child labor laws). I do not want to tell my parents about my decision. I want to move out .. I want to be on my own so nobody can see how ashamed i am of myself. please help me ..

          Comment


          • #10
            Hi there,

            Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We're sorry to hear about how things have been going and want you to know that you deserve to feel safe and happy in your home. Your life is valuable and it is never too late to turn things around or make up for things in the past. We are here to support and listen 24/7 at 1-800-786-2929 if you want to talk to someone about your feelings. Also, if you're ever feeling down or like things are too hard, you can also reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. They are there 24/7 as well to help you through this difficult time.

            It can be difficult to have a conversation with your parents if you are unsure of how they will react. Sometimes it can be helpful to have another adult around when you’re trying to talk to them so that they can stand up for you and try to keep the conversation calm and fair. That person could be a guidance counselor, other family member, or any other adult you trust. Here at NRS, we also offer a conference call service and can help you have that conversation with your parents. You deserve to be heard and to be supported with trying to make things better and not feel ashamed.

            Stay safe,

            NRS
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #11
              i'm 14 and i want to move out my mom has yelled at me saying if i don 't wanna live here anymore then to tell her i told her and she started yelling at me and i told her i was going to leave and she told me to call the cops i said no so she said she was going to call her for me sometimes me and my mom have gotten into verbal fights before but not really physical one day she ended u pushing me and shoving me all around my room so hard that she even broke the closet by pushing me in it this has happened before but when i was really little i went through very bad things last year and my mom didn't even care she has told me if i wanna kill myself then just do it because she said i was stupid for doing that i did that because i was raped and was scared and my mom didn't believe me that it happened i have somewhere to go and i am very safe there

              Comment


              • ccsmod0
                ccsmod0 commented
                Editing a comment
                Hello, Thank you for taking the time to write to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like home can be quite a chaotic place for you and you don’t feel safe there anymore. We want you to know that you always have the right to keep yourself safe even if that includes you not living at home with your mother anymore. We know that you mentioned that your arguments are usually just verbal but if they do turn physical you do have the right to report it to Child Protective Services. Child Help USA is an information and referral line that can connect you with your local CPS abuse hotline. That number is 1-800-422-4453. If you ever felt like making a report or needed help, we are here to assist with that. We understand that making an abuse report can be intimidating so if you like we can call together to provide support.
                Additionally, thank you for being brave enough to talk to us about your sexual assault. Being a survivor of rape is a complicated and confusing road to walk. Please know that you are not alone and we believe you. Rape is a horrible crime and we want to make sure you have all the support you need. RAINN is the Rape Abuse Incent National Network and they have a free and confidential 24/7 hotline and chat online, as well as information about how to cope afterward, survivor stories, and links to local therapists and support groups in your area: rainn.org, 1-800-656-4673.
                If you need anything else or just want to talk more about your situation please feel free to reach out again! We are 24/7 so someone will always be here to answer, just call 1-800-RUNAWAY. We wish you the best of luck with everything!

            • #12
              I’m 14 years old and I’m sick of my parents ***, it’s just everyday it’s like a roller coaster, my dad is a stubborn 3 year old and has incredible ego and my mom follows my dad around with no say in anything. They barely give me freedom and only can go out with my girlfriend once a week and when I ask for more time, they get at mad at me. I’ve already talked to them 3 times already but everything is still the same, I’m just sick of it all
              Last edited by ccsmod7; 09-28-2018, 04:45 AM.

              Comment


              • ccsmod7
                ccsmod7 commented
                Editing a comment
                Hello there, thanks for reaching out today.

                Sounds like your feeling understandably frustrated with your parents not giving you much freedom. That must be rough to feel like they are not hearing you. Sometimes when parents are not listening well, it can help to bring in a trusted adult to help advocate for your needs such as a grandparent or family friend. Here at NRS, we have a conference call service if you would like to have a mediated call with your parents. We also have a national database of family counseling if you think that your family would benefit from those resources.

                Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you would like to talk through your situation or if you want any resources. We are here to listen, here to help.

                Best,

                NRS

            • #13
              Im 14 and i cant decide weither or not to kill myself or run away. I dont have privacy (I got my door taken off because I had a "messy" room), I get grounded for months if i even forget to do a chore once, and they take any stress they have out on me (both physically and mentally, even if i didnt do anything wrong. I'm tired of being depressed, and then trying to come out as trans to them, and them just brushing it off and making it a point to make me more dysphoric. They think making fun of my mental state is funny. I dont know why they treat me like this, I get good grades (barely) and I'm generally well behaved. They want me to act like an adult, but wont treat me like one. I dont know why I didnt kill myself when i wasnt so bad. I really dont have anywhere else to go... but its either I run away or I kill myself.

              Comment


              • ccsmod10
                ccsmod10 commented
                Editing a comment
                Hey there,

                Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a bit about your situation.

                We want you to know that your safety is so very important to us and your life has worth. It sounds like you are thinking about ending your life. It takes a lot of strength to reach out for help, and we are so glad that you did. If you feel this is an emergency you could consider calling 911 for emergency assistance. You do not have to face this alone, and there is so much help out there for you. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, the National Suicide Hotline could be a good resource for you. You can check them out atwww.youmatter.suicidepreventionlifeline.org.

                It sounds like your parents does not treat you very well. You never deserve to be talked down to or brought down. It’s completely understandable that the way that your parents treat you has effected your mental health. We offer a conference calling service, between youth and their parents. If you ever wanted our help talking to your parents about how you're being treated at home, we're always here to make that call with you.

                If you feel like getting out of the house is the best option and you decide to run away, we can explain what usually happens. We’re not legal experts, but from our general knowledge, running away is not illegal. If you runaway, your mom can make a runaway report. The police don't always actively look for you, if they come across you, then they usually bring you home. We offer to call out to youth’s local police, with youth, to find out their protocols. We can also look for runaway shelters in your area, that way you have a safe place to stay at.

                We hope our response is helpful. We’re here to try to brainstorm options with you. Also, talking to school counselors and teachers about what’s going on at home could provide you with great support. You are not alone in this. You are always welcome to call into our 24/7 crisis center if you'd like to talk more about your situation.

                Be safe, NRS

            • #14
              I'm ready to leave this house! I have live in a 2 bedroom apartment with my parents and sister for almost 7 years. I get no privacy and every time I time I make that clear it’s always a form of disrespect. I have no friends to take me in and I have no choice but to try to leave on my own. My parents do a lot for me but at the same time I am targeted everyday but only speaking my opinion. I feel trapped in a place I can’t get out I just want to get in the next bus out of here far away. I go to a school where most of the kids there are smart pretty and parents are wealthy and seeing the happy livers they live tears me apart wishing I had that
              Last edited by ccsmod4; 10-12-2018, 05:58 AM.

              Comment


              • #15
                Reply: I ready to leave this house!


                Hello,
                Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline.

                It sounds like you are going through a tough time getting your parent’s to understand your feelings.
                It seems you are thinking about leaving home out of frustration and being upset. Your feelings are important and they matter. It’s unfortunate that your parent’s have not acknowledge them.
                Sometimes when communication seems hard to come by speaking with someone like a counselor might be helpful. Family counseling may be a good tool to try and get your feelings across to your parent’s in a safe setting. Of course we understand if it might be difficult to get them to agree.
                Another way may be to write things down that you would like them to see and hopefully understand.
                These are just a couple of options you might consider. Try to think about what you would like to see change in order for you to feel better about being at home.
                You are not alone. We are here to listen and here to help.

                Reaching out today was very courageous of you. We want you to know that we are here to support you in your time of need. If you would like to talk more about your situation, please contact NRS at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or www.1800Runaway.org (Live chat).
                We look forward to hearing from you.

                Take care,
                NRS

                We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us
                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                National Runaway Safeline
                info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                Comment

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