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Im 17 and want to leave!

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  • Im 17 and want to leave!

    I live in North Carolina and will be 17 in two months and I live with my dad and step mom. My real mom was murdered when I was 6. I am ready to move out and I want to as soon as I can but I know my dad isnt going to let me go with out a fight. Things here are very stressful and I have to try to please everyone else which is causing me to lose sleep, not eat, not be able to focus on school and depressed. My dad is also very over protective which makes things worse because I never leave home except to go to school or church but thats all. Also everything gets taken out on me and I always seem to be the target of peoples anger. I want to be out of here and somewhere better as soon as absolutely possible. I already know I can go live with my aunt and uncle and have everything provided there for me or with my boyfriend and his family which as well still having everything provided for me. I want out and I want out fast before I turn to suicide.. I need help and suggestions please.!

  • #2
    Re: Im 17 and want to leave!

    Hello,

    Thank you so much for reaching out to us. It sounds like you’re going through an intense time at home and needing an option to get out right away. We are not legal advisors but we’ll try and support you as best as we can.
    It has to be difficult to be living at home and not being allowed to visit other people or places outside of church and school. It sounds like you probably have been dealing with this for most of our life. You mentioned some details about your father being overprotective and strict, what’s your relationship like with him when it’s positive and not overbearing on you? And your step-mom, what’s that relationship like? Even if those relationships do have their good parts, feeling stressed, depressed and suicidal because everyone takes out their issues on you is not a good way to feel.

    It sounds like you reached out to us for options concerning you leaving home. You stated that your dad would never be okay with that. Have you talked to him about your depression and stress levels? What would he say if you mentioned these emotions to him and you feeling like you need to leave home? And if that’s not something he’d be okay with, what would sound better to him?

    We’re glad to hear that your aunt/uncle are there for you and ready to support you. Would they be willing to talk to your dad on your behalf?

    And lastly, you talked about suicide-have you felt like that before? Does anyone else know about these feelings? It’s a rough thing to deal with on your own but you don’t have to do that alone. If you continue feeling like this or ever get to the point where you are actually going to act on it, please call the National Suicide Hotline at 1800-273-TALK (8255).

    As far as moving out without the permission of your dad, we can’t fully answer that but at 17 in NC you’re still considered a minor and that would make it difficult for you to move out of the house without permission. The best way to find that out would be to call the non-emergency, local police department. They would be able to tell you what your rights are with moving out at 17.

    If you’d like to explore this some more, please call us at 1800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We’re anonymous, confidential and available 24/7. We’re here to listen, here to help.

    Best,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    Tell us what you think about your experience!

    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

    Comment


    • #3
      Blank

      My relationship with my dad is only good at night right before we go to bed when hes asking me to do stuff for him and trying to be sweet, my step mom our relationship is super rocky. We do not talk at all and when we make eye contact its a dead death stare at each other. She is not fond of me and I aint really of her and Im very unwanted in the house by her. Shes all about my younger sister and her son and doesnt do anything for me except cook super. And majority of the time I dont eat because I have no appetite. She doesnt buy me clothes, feminine products, make-up, shoes, hair products, anything like that and does not help me financially at all. I have to reach out for my aunt or grandma for those things or go with out one. My dad wont stand up to her and bows to her every need like shes a queen and she thinks she is one and expects to be treated like one but I refuse to do that and that makes my dad mad. And about t he suicide my boyfriend knows about it and tries to encourage me not to do anything like that and hes the only thing keeping me from doing so. And right now were working through a really hard time due to the way my dad is but trying to get back together. My dad wont even try to understand the situation and just gets mad at me over it when I try to talk to him about it. Also I get a check from my mom where she died and its supposed to go towards my college or any products of some sort I need, clothes, shoes anything like that but instead my check goes towards the house payment and other things like that that have NOTHING to do with me. Im just super ready to get out and have a happier, un-depressed, un-suicidal and more easy going life. I know nothing in life is ever going to be easy but getting out of my house will make everything a little easier. I need suggestions on what to do about moving out and can I or will I be able to do that when Im 17 with out parent consent and if so what steps do I need to take.?

      Comment


      • #4
        RE: Blank

        Hello there –
        Thank you for taking the time out of your day to get into contact with us here at the National Runaway Safeline, we are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. From your message to us, it sounds like you have are going through a very hard time right now and seem to be very overwhelmed with everything that is going on. It’s great that you are able to reach out for help in your current situation, it’s very brave of you to do that. No one deserves to be treated like that, especially at home when you should feel love and respected. We are sorry that you had to go through that. It must be very frustrating to reach out for help from your father and not have anything done about it. Especially if you’re not getting the necessary products that you need; clothes, feminine products, shoes, make-up, etc. Sounds like you’ve been dealing with this situation a lot and now it’s too the point where you want to run away.

        Unfortunately, here at the NRS we cannot tell you in definite terms what would happen if you were to leave home without permission because we are not legal experts. Laws on that specific subject vary from state to state, so our advice would be call your local non-emergency police number to get more information on that. What typically happens in state though since you are under the age of majority (which is 18 in most states); your parents would be able to make a runaway report in the event that you do run away, but since it’s only considered a statues offense the only thing that would happen is that the police will pick you up and bring you back home. Again this does depend on your specific state laws and police policy. There are certain circumstances in which a police officer will not take a runaway report for a 17 year old, because they view them as adults already and are able to move out on their own. That’s why we suggested getting into contact with your local non-emergency police to ask them questions and get direct answers.

        It sounds like you have been thinking about leaving for quite some time now though. What would your overall plan be (i.e housing options, transposition, financial stability (assuming that the SSI checks stop when you turn 18 years old), school options, access to food/clothes, etc)? What do you think your father would do if you were to leave your house and move someplace else?
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          Im 17 and want to leave!

          As far as housing, food, school, and stuff like that I mentioned in the first post I posted last night my aunt and uncle told me I was welcome into their home anytime I wanted and my boyfriends parents have said the same. So basic necessities are not an issue if I leave. And as far as money and stuff I can get a job considering Im almost 17 pretty much anywhere so those things arent a problem. And my boyfriend goes to the same school I do therefore I could just ride back and forth to school with him and if I was to move in with my aunt they live 10 minutes tops from my school. So either way school and transportation is not an issue either. The only problem now is getting out and getting out soon! I live in North Carolina but Im not sure what the state laws are about "running away" or leaving at my age.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Re: Im 17 and want to leave!

            Hi there,

            Thanks for reaching out again. We’re glad that you are supported by your boyfriend as well as have basic necessities and have a place to stay. It sounds like getting out of your home is your main priority and that you have a plan to leave.

            I can give you general information about leaving but am not a legal expert. So if you do decide to leave and are under the age of 18 then your legal guardians can file a runaway report. If they decide to do this then that means if the police pick you up, they have to return you back to your legal guardians. You won’t get into legal trouble necessarily but you will have to be returned to your home most likely. The laws sometimes vary from state to state but for the most part the age of majority is 18.

            One thing that can happen is that there may not be a huge amount of police activity since you are close to 18. If this is the case, it may be easier to not be picked up, but it is just something to consider in the situation.

            Hopefully this helps to answer your question and if you need anything else you can contact us through phone or chat!

            Good luck and stay safe,
            NRS
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
            Tell us what you think about your experience!

            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

            Comment


            • #7
              Im 17 and want to leave!

              Okayy, thank you and I'll just have to research it and see what the laws are on it. But thank you and I certainly will if I need anything else.!

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Re: Re: Im 17 and I want to leave!

                Hi again,

                That sounds good. We are here 24/7 to listen and help the best that we can!

                Best,
                NRS
                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                National Runaway Safeline
                [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
                Tell us what you think about your experience!

                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

                Comment


                • #9
                  I want to leave asap!

                  I have a good friend lf mine who would let me live with them. Im 17 and im ready to leave & I was wondering if I could leave without parent consent in the state of NC. My home life is terrible, my parents never let me do anything. They are extremely over protective and they blame me for everything and I have a job but they force me to help pay for bills and stuff because of that. I am wanting to leave right away...as a 17 year old in the state of NC what are my rights?

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod3
                    ccsmod3 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). I’m sorry to hear that you are in a stressful situation at home right now. Reaching out to us for help is a very positive step for you to take. You should be proud of yourself!
                    We’re glad to hear that you have a good friend who is willing to support you. We’re not legal experts at NRS but we can tell you that in the state of North Carolina, the legal age of adulthood is 18. If you leave home now, it’s not illegal but if your parents file a runaway report there’s a chance that if the police find you, they will bring you back home. It is also possible that your friend could be at risk for unlawfully harboring a minor if you stay with him/her. Having said all that, in many locations the police do not take action on runaway reports for kids that are close to turning 18. It varies from place to place so you may want to contact your local police department to find out how they handle runaway reports for youth who are 17+.
                    We take calls 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 1-800-786-2929 and we’d be happy to talk to you in more detail to learn more about your situation and determine how else we might be able to help you.
                    Take care.
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