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  • #76
    I’m 13 and live in Indiana, I need to run away because my emotionally abusive grandparents have taken complete control of my life and if I don’t leave I’ll end up dead, I have about 150$ if I go to the women’s homeless shelter downtown will they let me stay there or will they call the police and force me to go back home, I’m not calling the police or CPS because when I was being physically abused they didn’t do anything. My only resort is to run away I’m done living like this.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi,

      Thanks for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear that you are enduring abuse at home by your grandparents. It sounds like you are considering running away to a shelter. We are glad you have come to us to discuss this option.

      It is important you know that no one ever deserves emotional abuse. You deserve to live somewhere where you feel safe and comfortable. Regarding your questions about running away, we cannot say for certain if a shelter will call the police. Some shelters do need parental consent from minors and others do not.

      We are not legal experts here at NRS, but we can share some general info with you. 18 years old is generally the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian. We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms. If you are under 18 and leave home without permission, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. However, in that case there may be services (family counseling, etc.) available to you as a youth in crisis/runaway but again, police procedures related to offering those services can be different based on your location or the details of your situation. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth.

      In any case, you should not have to endure emotional abuse. When things get bad, you have options. We are sorry to hear that some of those options, CPS and police, have not worked for you in the past. You may consider filing a report with your state’s DCFS. We can always help you identity this agency in your state and even walk you through the process of filing or file for you if you ever want to call or instant message us (info found below). Sometimes it may helpful to get away short term from your grandparents. It may help to think of friends and other family members that may be able to temporarily house you. These people may also serve as good trusted adult figures to stand up for you in the face of this emotional abuse.

      We hope that you have found some of this information useful. If you are still feeling lost, or unsure of what to do next, we encourage you to call us or instant message us at any time. Our number is (1800)RUN-AWAY and our chat feature can be found at 1800runaway.org. We wish you the best of luck out there. Stay safe and strong.

      Sincerely,
      NRS

  • #77
    Hello ! My name is Ema. I am fourteen years old, and I live in California.


    Here is my situation :

    My home life currently is a bit messed up. I'm constantly fighting with someone in my family, and it has been putting a lot of stress on my mental health. ( I've been mostly fighting with my sisters. ) I have a twin sister who lives in Indiana, I've been trying to convince my mom to let me move out there with her, and my dad. But she relentlessly refuses. So, I want to runaway. I plan to do it in months from now, I want to save up cash, and make a very good plan first. I don't want to do this without being absolutely sure, and having everything I need first.

    My plan so far :

    I don't plan to go to Indiana, per say, as my father would just send me back to my mom because he doesn't want to get in trouble for harbouring a runaway. So I plan to just go where I can, I want to go to one of the states that allow teen runaways. ( Georgia, Idaho, Kentucky, Nebraska, South Carolina, Texas, Utah, West Virginia and Wyoming. ) The next step is I want to find a list of shelters near by that allow teen runaways to stay without calling there parents, or needing an ID. ( Basically just need to find places to stay at least in California. ) I also will be saving money for food, transportation, and a burner phone.

    My questions :

    Are there shelters in California that don't require ID, or calling your parents ?
    Can you buy a burner phone ( cheap phone ) without being over 18 ?
    What happens when you become a runaway ( like when your parents legally make you one ) ?
    Any other information you can give me ?

    Comment


    • ccsmod1
      ccsmod1 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes a lot of courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there’s a lot that you’re faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.

      While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home if found by the police. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. Police departments, and even individual police officers, have a lot of discretion, so they can pretty much handle runaway cases however they see fit – meaning they don’t treat every case the same. Also, because of harboring laws, emergency youth shelters may be required to make an effort to reach out to a youth’s guardians and/or Child Protective Services (this agency may have a slightly different name in different states), but the exact intake procedures vary from state to state and from shelter to shelter. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.

      You mentioned not wanting to live with your mom anymore. If you’re under 18, the easiest way to leave home is with your mom’s permission. We understand that might be challenging - maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your mom. The second way is through Child Protective Services (this agency may have a slightly different name in different states) if safety is a concern. Child Help USA (1-800-422-4453 & www.childhelp.org) is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation. In most states, you need to be at least 16 years old to be considered for emancipation, and you have to demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation can often be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you’re considering.

      You know your situation better than anyone else, so whichever choices you make, we will do our best to help you and keep you safe.

      We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you’d like to talk more in detail, if you’d like to explore any of the options we mentioned above, or if you’d like to brainstorm new options together, please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

      If you’re ever at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also wish to visit The National Safeplace website (www.nationalsafeplace.org). This organization provides access to immediate help and supportive resources for youth in need. You can look up your city and state to see if there are any safe places near you.

      We’re here to listen, and we’re here to help in any way we can. We hope to hear from you soon.

      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #78
    Hi im 19 and I currently ran away im in ny right now and i dont have anywhere to go am i able to go to a homeless shelter

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. Since you are 19 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet.

      You can find shelter resources at https://www.transitionalhousing.org/ or https://www.homelessshelterdirectory.org/ or call United Way at 211 for local resources.

      Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave.

      You can consider Job Corp which can provide training to help you get a job. https://www.jobcorps.gov/

      We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      We hope to hear from you soon.
      Last edited by ccsmod15; 08-23-2020, 06:24 PM.

  • #79
    Hi im cali and im 18 turning 19 in a couple of days i just left my dad house because he hasn’t been treating me like his child at all i cant go to my moms because i just left her house because she was treating me poorly as well. I have no where to go and i have reached my breaking point i have ID and all my other personal belongings im currently in VA but im trying to either get a shelter in Pennsylvania or New york would i be able to go to a homeless shelter

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.

      Since you are 18 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet.

      Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave.

      You can consider Job Corp which can provide training to help you get a job. https://www.jobcorps.gov/

      Please keep in mind in big cities in NY and PA it can be hard to find a shelter sometimes. If you are in NY you can consider finding resources here Youth Connect at 800-246-4646 (from withing NY) 646-343-6800 (from outside NY) https://www1.nyc.gov/site/dycd/servi...ess-youth.page.

      You can find other shelter resources at https://www.transitionalhousing.org/ or https://www.homelessshelterdirectory.org/ or call United Way at 211 for local resources.

      We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      We hope to hear from you soon.

  • #80
    Hi, I'm 12 and I live in Florida. I want to run away but I have nowhere to stay. I'm afraid if I go to a runaway shelter I would be taken bake to my parents. or that my siblings would be taken away. I'm the only one in the family that is getting melty/finally abused. what should I do?

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for reaching out to us and explaining a little bit more about what's been going on.

      You don't deserve to be hurt in anyway. We are sorry to hear that you are going through such a hard time. It takes great courage to reach out for help and we are glad that you decided to reach out.

      Leaving home can be hard and unsafe in many situations. It can be helpful to think about where you might stay, how you might pay for food, rent and other expenses.
      Talking to an adult you trust can be helpful. School counselors can be of great resource.

      We are not legal experts but your parents are responsible for you until you turn 18. Generally speaking running away is not a crime and if your parents are to file a police report the police can bring you back home and whoever you are staying with could be charged with harboring a runaway and get in trouble with the law.
      If you are to go to a shelter they are required to contact your parents in most cases.

      If you are being hurt in anyway you can consider contacting Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 and they can provide you more information on filing a report. Emotional abuse can be hard to prove in many cases.

      Coping with all this stress can be hard. It can be helpful to talk to a school counselor or another therapist. Practicing good coping skills on a regular basis can help reduce the stress. Trying to do things you enjoy everyday can be helpful. Exercising, meditating, journaling, listening to music, reading, talking to friends can be some things to consider.

      You are not alone and we are here to support you through this. If you want to talk more about what is going on and what options you might have, please don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

      We wish you the best and hope to hear from you soon.

      Best,
      NRS

  • #81
    Hi I Am 16 And Im Going Threw alot OF Tiff Drama With My Family at Home and i do Not Wanna Be Their , and I Have a Kid Would It Be Okay For Me To Go In A Shelter Since Im So Young ?

    Comment


    • ccsmod3
      ccsmod3 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
      While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.

      We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #82
    I’m 13 years old, I broke my parents trust, I did something bad and I don’t think they will forgive me for years. I live in Michigan and considering going to the flint runaway shelter. I don’t want my parents contacted because it would make it way worse. I need help and I’m not sure what to do. And also, when you go to runaway shelters, do you get phones, clothes, and/or your own room or with a roommate?
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 09-24-2020, 01:41 AM.

    Comment


    • ccsmod4
      ccsmod4 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,
      Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

      We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you are afraid of your parent’s being upset and unforgiving over something you did. We understand about feeling uncertain about how things will go.
      Whenever something happens and you are not sure how to handle it, talking with someone may help to come up with options as to how to cope with the situation.

      We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. Most shelters may not allow cell phones but may offer clothing. You can reach out to the shelter to find out more about space arrangements. NRS can assist with contacting shelter services in your area.

      If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

      Take care,
      NRS

  • #83
    i’m 13, i want to run away. my parents don’t usually hit me, but they do yell at lot and i think my mom verbally abuses me. if i went to a runaway shelter in michigan, and i tell them not to call my parents or the cops, will they? and how long can i stay there for? again i’m 13 so i would have to stay there for 5 years.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      You mentioned experiencing emotional abuse which may be reportable against your mom. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made.
      While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions. Typically shelters might not let you stay long without legal guardian permission.
      We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      We hope this helps. Please reach out if we can offer any further support.
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #84
    hi! i’m 13 and i might be interested in going to a runaway shelter/homeless shelter. i live in michigan and the only way i can get to the shelter is to walk or ride my bike. my current situation is that i did some things that are bad. i broke my parents trust, might not ever get a phone, i don’t think they will ever forgive me. they are both strict but they do deserve to be mad at me. but i have a few questions

    my plan: i don’t have any money, but i can take food and water from home. i’m waiting to my order of clothes to come in then i will most likely leave.

    my question: do i have to call the shelter before i go there? how long can i stay there? will they let me stay till i’m 18? will they call my parents if i tell them not to?

    current state at home: i can’t talk to my dad, but i can talk to my mom a little bit. i have a brother but since we were little we never talked to each other. my parents yell and fight a lot. me and my mom are almost never in good terms, we always fight. she blames the fights on me, but she doesn’t see that she is the main part of the reason we fight. i think my parents emotionally abuses me. i just can’t live with myself right now.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
      While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions. You should definitely reach out to a shelter before you go to check availability and to see if you would qualify for their programs. Each shelter would be different on how long you can stay without parental permission. It might be 48 hours for example. You would have to reach out to them and ask them how they handle these types of situations to be sure!
      We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by forum to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      Be safe,
      NRS
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