im 16 and u want to move out of my parents house

[ccsmod3]

Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are living in a place where you don’t feel like you belong. You feel alone, stifled and disconnected from those around you and can’t see how this will ever change.

Fortunately, you are not alone -- this is a common feeling many of us experience at some time in our lives. Sometimes it can last for awhile, or be very temporary as we meet new friends or get involved with new activities that inspire and energize us. Also, as you say, when you’re an adult, you can live wherever you want!

It sounds like you already understand the legal age for being an adult in your state so you have some time before you have the independence to move away and live the kind of life you choose.

You are asking about the emancipation process and you note that your parents would not allow this, so it probably makes sense to set that aside as a realistic option right now. You also ask about other options for living in another state with your parent’s permission. The most natural option would be if you had family in another state and they (and your parents) allowed you to live with them while you attended school. Perhaps that’s an option for you?

If this isn’t an option, then perhaps you can think about how you improve your quality of life without going anywhere. This could be as simple as making new friends or getting involved in new activities or groups at school -- these could help address that feeling of disconnection you have.

You can also go inward and do things that help you process your feelings -- such as creating art or writing. Based on how powerfully you expressed your situation in your post, we can see you’re a good writer! Perhaps that’s your key for unlocking a better future?

You know yourself better than anyone. What have you done before when you’ve felt this way? Let’s try that again!

Thank you again for reaching out to us and we hope this has been helpful. If you’d like to discuss this anymore, please don’t hesitate to call us at the National Runaway Safeline. You can reach us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I am 15 and want to move out of state on my own by 16-17 (Currently living in Utah)

Hey there, I am currently living in a town some may consider a "white picket fence" sort of neighborhood where everyone is rich and everyone expects perfection from both themselves and everyone else. Its getting to me because, regardless of how great it might sound, my current situation has taken a huge toll on my mental health. I feel constantly pressured to have straight A's, have the perfect look, the perfect family, an have no real issues. Everyone here is fake and never genuinely cares about others. They simply judge them in silence while they put on the act of actually caring. Some may not see through it like I do and genuinely see this town as "perfect". I feel so alone, being one who actually cares about others, therefore allowing me to get used by others, and one who actually wants to get out and explore the world. I don't want to stay in one place all my life and all I hear in this town, this whole state as a matter of fact, is that it is better to settle down early, get married as soon as you graduate, and have kids immediately. Yet quite frankly, I want to truly live but I feel anything but life here. I feel like a bird trapped in it's cage while everyone tries to clip my wings. I want to leave because the longer I stay here, the smaller and smaller the cage gets. I feel stuck and empty. I want to leave so that I can truly be happy. I don't know if I will be able to stand it here until I am 18. I know I will have a huge breakdown before I reach the legal age to move out. I am so tired of simply waiting for time to pass by until I can officially leave legally. Is there any way, other than emancipation since my parents wont allow it, that I can move to another state where my parents would actually consent to me leaving? I would continue my high school education on my own but I have no idea how or if I even can leave. Any suggestions?? Any help is needed.

Thank you, Gracie

[ccsmod7]

Hi there.

Thanks so much for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline and sharing part of your story with us. It sounds like you’re going through a tough time at home. No one deserves to feel worthless or disrespected. It’s understandable why you would want to remove yourself from an environment in which you don’t feel safe emotionally. Trying to balance your time when you’re involved in so many different things can be quite challenging. Seeking new time management skills like making a daily schedule and calendar might be useful. In addition, it sounds like you care a lot about your girlfriend and feel that living with her may be the safest option for you. It’s great that you have someone you can turn to when things get rough but it also might be helpful to consider what the potential consequences of running away and staying with a friend may look like.

Although, we don’t have a legal background, in Utah it appears that you would have to be 18 years old in order to leave home without seeking parental consent. If you do decide to leave your parents have the right to file a runaway report. If a runaway is successfully found and you make any contact with police, you may have to return back home. Also it’s important to keep in mind that your friend could be face harboring charges as well if you are found staying with your friend.
If you decide to stay you may also want to consider telling your mom how you feel when she calls you irresponsible or makes you feel worthless. If you need help with wording this please do not hesitate to give our hotline a call at 1800-runaway or come chat with us at 1800runaway.org. In addition to our hotline if you feel that you are unsafe you can always make a report with child protective services about what you’re experiencing at home. The number to child protective services in Utah is 855-323-3237.

Again, we are so happy you reached out to us and we wish you the best of luck. Happy Holidays, Take care.

Hi, I'm from Utah and I'm 15 years old, I'll be 16 in less than 20 days. I'm verbally abused by mom every day. It makes me feel worthless and disresepected. I've been told I'm not allowed to get 12 hours of sleep because I'm 'irresponsible and don't do enough with my life.' My dad has a full time job and spends plenty of time outiside the country. I want to runaway, possibly to another state, but I can't financially support myself. I am a full time student, I play soccer and basketball and can't find enough time to balance school, soccer, basketball, and dealing with my family. I have no time for even a part time job. I have a place I can stay in Missouri with my girlfriend, but I don't know how I'd get there or if I'm even allowed to leave at the age of 16. I'd give everything up in utah to get away from my parents and siblings just to stay with my girlfriend where I know I'll be emotionally sound and safe.

[ccsmod4]

Reply: Hi I’m 15 years old and I’m from Michigan.

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things in your life right now.
It sounds like you’re fearing that the stress from the situation is getting harder and harder to handle.
We are sorry you are going through a tough emotional time.
Having your family lie to you about your father does not seem fair. We understand your reaction of frustration and hurt.

Sometimes when things are too stressful and you don’t know where to turn it might help to talk with someone about it.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. It sounds like your dad’s ex-wife has reached out to you and offered her home as a place where you could feel comfortable and appreciated. Good for you.
It must be a good feeling to know you have her support. Hurting yourself does not have to be an outlet. There may be other more positive ways to cope with everything.

NRS is here to listen and here to help.
We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. You are free to talk and explore options for your situation. You did wonderful reaching out today. You are your biggest advocate.
If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

You are welcome to discuss your situation and talk about possible options for help.
What you did today by reaching out was great. Good job.
We hope to hear from you soon.

Take care,
NRS

We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us

Hi I’m 15 years old and I’m from Michigan. I have read through some of these and I’ve come to see that emancipation is going to be my only way out. I know unfortunately that I have to wait till I’m 16 but I don’t have a job and I don’t plan on getting one until I know I’m in a stable place. I feel completely misunderstood and mentally abused by my parents, they not only harass me about mistakes I’ve made in my past but they are in a sense very coward like people. They have lied to me my whole life about who my real father is and to this day are still lying and keeping it from me. The man who in which is my real father had died a few years ago and I just found out and never once met him in my life. I’ve considered suicide and before and only from there my parents have told me that I was over exaggerating. They simply just don’t care. I was cutting for a while and all my dad did was looked me in the eyes and said “don’t do that ******** again” I’ve been completely pushed to the edge and on the verge of breaking with them. I cannot take this anymore. My dad’s ex-wife who in which has always been there for me and I just reached out to had very generously opened her arms and home to me and I would love to except it completely because not only is she more of a mom than who I’m with now but she cares with a passion and I know she will be in my best interest to be around and with.

[ccsmod10]

Hi there,

Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. From your email to us here, we can see that you have very similar questions to a lot of our callers and you’re looking for some answers. It seems like there must be a lot going on in your life, especially at home, if you’re thinking about leaving home. It’s great that you were able to find out some information about our hotline. Hopefully we can help.

As a minor (under the age of majority), you aren't able to leave home without your parents’ permission. We aren’t legal experts, but what generally what typically happens if a minor runs away, is that your parents would be able to make a runaway. You can’t be arrested for running away in some cases we’ve heard of police not taking runaway reports on youth who are close to turning 18. A good way to find out exactly what the police protocols are in your city, would be to reach out to your local non-emergency police. You can ask them hypothetical questions about running away.

If you give us a call on our 24/7 fully confidential hotline, at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we could help answer some of those questions you have and could potentially help you brainstorm a solution to the issues you are having. We also have an online chat service available through our website (www.1800runaway.org) if you don’t feel like calling in to talk on the phone.

Best, NRS

I am 16 years old and i want to leave my moms house i feel unwelcomed and she is always **********ing me out i dont want to stay here anymore is there a way i can leave and them not say anyhting to me

[ccsmod3]

Hi Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline and sharing some of your concerns with us. It sounds like you’re concerned about your friend and what would happen if they were to leave home. Although we are not legal experts, we do have some general knowledge in regards to matters like these. If the child is still considered a minor and were to move out with parental consent his parents have the right to file a runaway report. If a report is filed and he is found by police then they may require him to return back home. If the you or the youth feels that the environment is unsafe child abuse reporting is always an option. An abuse report can be filed with child protective services agency in your state. If you would like to discuss this situation further or would like to pass along our contact to your friend; we can be reached at 1800-runaway by phone or by chat at 1800runaway.org. We hope this information was helpful and best of luck to both you and your friend. Take care.

I know someone who has been going through lots since they were born. Their parents are always arguing, moving out, verbally abusing them. The parents also blame the kids for everything and practically gave up on being parents and expect them to be responsible for everything. Can the underage kid move out without causing too much problems?

[ccsmod3]

Hello,
It sounds like you are dealing with a stressful home situation that you are unable to get away from. And it sounds like your situation with your dad is strained and he is strict about allowing you to leave.
One option to consider is finding someone who could mediate a conversation with your dad about this. This could be a relative or family friend who would listen to your concerns and your dad’s concerns and help you talk to each other and maybe come to a compromise. For instance, maybe you could stay with a relative for a little while until things calm down at home.
If you don’t know of someone who might be willing to mediate for you, we offer a conference call service where we can take on that role. Sometimes compromise is more possible than it seems.
If you ever need someone to talk to, please don’t hesitate to call us any time, day or night, at 1-800-RUNAWAY or contact us online at 1800runaway.org. We are here to listen, here to help.

my dad is going crazy and i need to leave home but he won’t let me, im 16

[ccsmod9]

Hi there,

You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your parent’s permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

Be safe,

NRS

Hello, I live in California and am 16 years old. I want to move out of my home and go live with my sister but without my parents consent. I am extremely depressed here and my parents are a big trigger for me. I really don’t know how much longer I can put up with them. I’m so tired and drained of everything. I’m scared i will end up hurting myself if I don’t leave. I want to live with my sister but i don’t want my parents to force me to go back with them. Is there any way I can do that without getting in trouble ?

[ccsmod7]

Hello there, thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like you are in a rough situation at home with your dad. It can't be easy to deal with being blamed for everything, and here at NRS we truly want to support you and inform you as best we can.

If you are wanting to move in with your mom and she has some custody rights over you that could be an option. That does sound really stressful not having a phone, but if there is anyway you can borrow another one or contact your mom via email or social media you might try to let her know that you want to move. We are not legal experts, but generally speaking older youth have more of a say with which parent they live with when parents have joint custody. If your mom needs any legal aid resources to help her out with going to court, please chat us or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY for those resources.

18 years old is generally the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian. We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms. If you leave home without permission, your dad may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. However, if you are with your mom police might see it as a civil issue for the courts rather than a runaway situation. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth.

Please do not hesitate to call or chat if you have questions, need legal resources, or need to talk. We can explore your situation, go over all your options, and come up with a plan and resources to deal with your situation over the phone or on live chat. We are looking forward to hearing from you soon, and wish you the best of luck.

-NRS