im 16 and u want to move out of my parents house

[Guest]

Hi, I'm 16 and I live in Snellville, Georgia. My mom has always been emotionally abusive and called me names and I've tried killing myself several times and even attended therapy with and without her and nothing has changed. When I reach out to her and tell her how I feel, she lashes out (literally) and I'm at my end. I can't deal with wanting to die every time I'm around her because I don't know how she'll act. She can barely take care of all my siblings because she decided to have so many kids when she was already financially unstable. She takes almost all of my money from me and has terrible debt so there's no chance of her getting a loan or financial help. I feel like I'm lost and have no where to go and so I don't know if I should run away or die. I just want to leave but she won't let me, and she won't even consider letting me live with another family member. I don't know what to do, can you please help me get out of here?

[ccsmod10]

Hi there,

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on and how you have been feeling. We know it takes courage to share private matters like this and we’re here to help in any way we can.

It sounds like you’ve gone through so much and from what you’ve explained, it’s completely understandable why you need to get away from your mom. Especially when you said that the therapy hasn’t worked in the past. Abuse is never okay. You never deserve to be emotionally abused. You have a right to report that abuse, if you wanted to. NRS can help you make a child abuse report or make one for you. There’s also Child Help (800) 422-4453, they are the National Child Abuse Hotline. You can report it with them as well. They also help youth find ways to get their custody transferred to safe adults or family members. If you’re close with any teachers or school personnel, they can also make the child abuse report.

Having to live in a house where you’re being hurt will definitely effect your mental health. You mentioned that you’ve tried suicide and have thoughts about wanting to die. Having those feelings and thoughts can be a really scary space to be in. We are truly grateful that you are still living and we want you to know that your life has worth. If you ever feel like those thoughts of wanting to end your life are getting to be too overwhelming, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us or call 911. Our safeline is open 24/7, so we are always a call away. If you don’t want to call the police, we can call with you and support you through the call. Another organization that is open 24/7 and that is a good place to get support when you’re having those feelings is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (800) 273-8255 www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org . They also have a chatting service on their website.

If you decide to leave home without your mom’s permission, you can’t be arrested for running away. We do have large database of runaway shelters, if you call into our safeline, we can try to find one for you.
Again, we are so thankful that you reached out. We want you to know that you’re not alone in this and you’ve been so strong so far. Please remember that your life has worth. We are always here and if you want to talk more about the options that we mentioned, or just need someone to talk to don’t hesitate to contact us.

Be safe, NRS

[Guest]

I live in elizabeth city answer and emotional abused and I can't deal with my mom and longer she argue with me 24-7 then wants to be my friend I'm 16 years old will be 17 march 7 and I can provide for my self and have a job I think that I can do for me and I just don't want to stay with her anymore

[ccsmod7]

Hello there, thank you for reaching out today.

Sounds like you are going through a whole lot at home with your mom due to the arguing and emotional abuse. You do not deserve to be harmed in anyway. Here at NRS, we truly want to help inform you of your options and be a support for you.

Legally, the easiest way you can leave home at 16 is with your mom's permission. This might be really hard for you, especially since you both argue a lot, but maybe there is a trusted family member of friend who can help you get your feelings across to her, and who she would be okay with you staying with. It's great that you can provide for yourself. You seem like a very responsible person. Since you are financially self-sufficient, you might look into if your state has emancipation. Emancipation is a court process where you would attempt to prove that you are better off on your own than with the assistance of your guardians to a judge. The first step of that process is contacting your local family court to petition for emancipation, or to contact a lawyer for legal assistance. We are not legal experts, but if you call or chat us we can look for legal aid resources near you.

It sounds like this has really taken a toll on you. We really want to help you through this difficult time. If you call or chat us we can talk through you situation and help brainstorm your options. We also have a conference call service and family counseling resources if you feel like you are wanting to talk to your mom about how you are feeling. You deserve to be supported and heard.

We look forward to hearing from you and we wish you the best of luck,

NRS

[Guest]

So I am 16, 17 in April and my dad verbally abuses me; calling me names: Problem Child, Stick in the Mud, etc. Saying **** You to me, That I'm an idiot. And then likes to pretend that it's all my fault and I deserve those names. He also tells me that I'm not even going to have a chance at the real world or colleges or anything(And I have like a 3.3 cumulative right now from my three years of High School). Its extremely depressing and demoralizing. And I know that I'm not any perfect child or anything, but NO ONE deserves to be called that on a frequent basis. Then to add on top of that, he puts these rediculous punishments on me: Like taking my phone away for extreme amounts of time, Im coming up on month 3 of grounding. Then when I'm at school I can't even touch anything outside of the basic, most very basic bits of lunch. No off campus, no snacks, no nothing. Then he doesn't let me have a job and any work I do around the house is "for the family" no matter how rediculous. He says my friends are bad influences and that hes going to call into the school on what they've been into and say that I reported it. I know they're into bad stuff but I've stayed out of it all except for once in which of course I was caught by my dictator of a dad. But I learned from it and don't plan on going back. BUT HE CONTINUES to hang on it!!!! And he likes to hold it over my head and always remind my that my friends are "bad". THEYRE GOOD PEOPLE!!! Just unfortunately into some bad stuff (vaping). Then he says hell call in and get me as the one kid that everyone HATES! Not to mention I wouldn't find out until I actually saw them because I don't have my phone! Then just to add on to his cruelty: I woke up late one morning to find my alarm clock was off, and so I rushed to get ready and head out to the bus and I miss it by like 30 seconds, and then my dad says that its my fault (which I guess it kinda was) but then he says he refuses to take me to school and that he wont call in and escuse my absenses from class, and if I try to excuse them, he'll call the school up and say its not supposed to be excused. So during the time I was home, He made me work outside for 6-7 hours shoveling the snow and stuff which is fine but then he eventually starts to make me haul 12 bags of pine needles and sticks (Huge Bags) (Also I live in Colorado) that were covered in 6 (Also not exagerating... we were actually expected to get 10 inches) inches of snow and soaked through with the snow melt from the back of our shed to the top of our driveway (A surprising elevation change - Uphill). Then I also had to shovel the YARD and when I finally thought I was done, I had to scrub the bath tubs and mop our concrete laundry room which has like dead bugs and stuff that I had to move... with my hands. So maybe Im just a whiny little dumba** like my dad says, But really after doing this for a couple of years it kinda makes you feel like, maybe it'd just be easier to kill myself... We have to gallons of gasoline and matches in our garage anyways... But I just want to hold on and I've been doing pretty good at it for the moment... But I sure as hell aint doing it for much longer if I'm stuck living here

So I know that was a bit of a rant but I just really need to get out. And when you live in a place like Colorado, you really cant do to much.

And to Recap: I cant get a job, I have no car, And My Dad is Verbally and Emotionally Abusive

[ccsmod7]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for reaching out. You're right--you don't deserve to be verbally abused like that. It sounds like living with your dad's abuse is really wearing you down and you don't feel like you can deal with it anymore. It's completely understandable that you want to move out.

One option is to get relatives or family friends involved and see if your dad will let you go stay with them for a bit. If you have another legal guardian besides your dad, you could also just get their permission. Even if it isn't long term, just going away for a few days would be a nice break for you. Also, just talking to someone else who knows your dad could offer some insight into ways you could improve your relationship. It sounds like he started acting like this a couple years ago--it might be worth exploring what happened then that changed his behavior (change in job? loss of a loved one?) and whether it's something that can be addressed with counseling.

If you think there's still a chance you and your dad can mend your relationship, we do have a conference call service that could help. Basically, that would mean you and your dad talking over the phone with one of us acting as a mediator to keep the conversation civil and productive. We can focus on any topic you choose to, whether it's the verbal abuse or him giving you permission to get a job. If you'd like to explore this option further, just give us a call anytime at 1-800-786-2929.

You mentioned that you've been having some suicidal thoughts lately. We're sorry to hear you're in that place--we know it really sucks to be there. Have you talked about these things with any of your friends? A school counselor is also a great person to talk to if you don't feel comfortable discussing it with your friends. A counselor can also help you come up with some healthy coping strategies to ease the pain you're going through at home.

If none of these options works for you, you can definitely give us a call at 1-800-786-2929 to discuss things further. You can also talk to us anytime you just need someone to rant to. We're here 24/7 and are confidential and toll-free.

Best of luck,

NRS

[Guest]

so im 16, I have somewhere I could possibly go, and I have an under the table job that pays amazingly, 1800 a month, I would live with who I work with. my mother blames everything on me, my little brother fell today and it was somehow my fault because I didn't stop him from doing what he was doing. my dad gets drunk and tells me he cant wait till I leave, and how he wish I would just get emancipated. I failed one year of high school, I have since caught up and been doing good grade wise but I still get yelled at and constantly told I should just leave. my dad will constantly tell me everything that isn't right with me and if I don't give an argument I get slapped or it goes on for another hour. now I basically do all the work watching my little brother when my mom goes to work, I am tired of this damn house, im not allowed to leave for more than an hour, I live out in the middle of nowhere, it takes 30 mins to get to town, wich means I cant leave, I have one local friend(within the hour I can leave) but im not allowed to see her. im not allowed to stay the night anywhere and im not even allowed to stay home by myself for a couple hours while my mom goes to work and my dad comes home, not because ive gotten in trouble, but because " your a teenager youll do dumb ******** and try to bang some slut while im gone" that's there reasoning. and the reasoning why I cant leave is because my dad is a proven control freak. I just cant take the kinda stuff my dad tells me. he used to be my stepdad but I let him into my circle and now hes destroying me mentally. Idk what im gonna do.

[ccsmod10]

Hey there,

Thank you for reaching out, it sounds like you have been dealing with a really difficult situation and it makes sense that you want to leave. It is amazing that you have been using all of the resources available to you to make an informed decision about what to do that will keep you safe. It sounds like you are a very strong person and have dealt with very difficult parents in a very mature way. It must be frustrating to not be able to leave home and have to take care of your brother while your parents are not at home. It is so important that you know what you need and that you want to take care of yourself mentally and have been thinking of ways to do so. No one deserves to be slapped and treated that way, and it is understandable that you need to get away from that situation.

We are not legal experts but we can give you some general information about your situation. If you did decide to run away and went to live with your coworker, your parents could file a runaway report since in most states the age of majority is 18 and your parents are still responsible for taking care of you until then. However, if you got your parent’s permission to live with this person, then there is no reason to believe that you could not do this. If your parents did file a runaway report, though, and the police found you, they would most likely bring you home. This would not go on your permanent record, however, and would be considered a status offence like breaking curfew. Anyone you stayed with, on the other hand, could be charged with harboring a runaway if your parents decided to press charges and take them to court and could prove that that person knew you were a runaway.

Again, it is so great that you know what you need to keep yourself safe and that you are thinking of ways to improve your situation. If you have any other questions or just want to talk more about other options, feel free to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us through our website.

Best of Luck,
National Runaway Safeline

[Guest]

Hi I am 16 and I live in texas my dad is mentally and physically abusive, and he is going to send me to Utah soon. I have a safe place to live with a good friend. I want to know if I can legally move out.

[ccsmod6]

Hi, thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

It sounds like your situation at home is not safe, and it would make sense why you would want to leave. No one deserves to be mentally or physically abused.

Most States have an "age of majority," which is when you would be considered an adult. This age can vary but in most places you need to be 18 to be considered an adult. Until then, you have a legal guardian, and that legal guardian is in charge of making decisions like where you live. What that means is your dad would have to say it is okay for you to go and live with your friend.

Texas does have a thing called "emancipation." Emancipation is a process where you would work with the State of Texas to show that you are able to live independently. Usually that requires proof of employment and stable living.

It is concerning that you are reporting physical and mental abuse. No one deserves to be abused, and if there is abuse in the household you might be able to get some help. You can report abuse anonymously to the Texas Department of Family Services by phone: 1-800-252-5400. Alternately, you can always reach out to us and we can talk to you about some of these options.

It sounds like there is a lot going on, and you are very brave to reach out to us. If you have any additional questions or if you would like to get some support, you can always call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or check out our website at https://www.1800runaway.org. Good luck!

[Guest]

I’m 16 and I’ve been trying to leave home some how because of my mother she’s been verbally abusing me since I was 12 because of drinking and now is when she actually almost strangled me to death and I almost passed out and I didnt call the police because I was told not to which I figured I would go to a foster home if I did call them and I don’t want that I wanted to leave and go to and live by myself I don’t like burdening anyone else and now I haven’t been eating because my mother stopped getting food and most of the stuff is there is old and rotten and I’m scared of her that day she even grabbed a hammer to hit me with

[ccsmod5]

Hi,

Thank you so much for writing in. It sounds like you've gone through a lot of scary experiences at home with your mom and it's brave of you to reach out for help and support. We're here to listen and help, and we want you to know that you never, ever deserve to be harmed or treated that way. You are important and your well-being matters! You are not a burden.

You mentioned that you didn't call the police because you were worried about going to a foster home. That being said, if you do want to report the physical and emotional abuse that's been going on, you can always do that through the National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-422-4453. You might also consider confiding in a teacher, coach, or someone at a religious organization. Any of these individuals would be mandated reporters and so must report that.

If you are considering leaving home, you might consider the following: where you might live, where you might get food from, whether you have weather-appropriate clothing, and how you might earn some money. In terms of choosing a place to stay, you might consider a relative, friend, or adult you trust. Do keep in mind that if you leave home, your mother does have the right to file a runaway report; if police are able to locate you, you may be brought home. It may be harder to locate you, though, if you choose to stay with someone whose address your mother doesn't know. In the meantime, you may also consider looking into local shelters in your area for the immediate future and to help you eat in the meantime.

It sounds like there are a lot of things going on at home. If you ever want to speak about your situation more specifically, please feel free to reach out to us at the National Runaway Hotline: 1-800-786-2929. Our lines are open 24/7 and we're always here to help you brainstorm a plan or just to listen. We are also able to help you locate any resources (like shelters) in your area. Best of luck to you!

Sincerely,
NRS

[Guest]

Hi. Im 16 and I live in North Carolina. I want to move out of my parents home. We always argue and get into fights. Sometimes mom even tells me to pack my bags if I want to leave. She tells me i dont have respect for her when I do and she never trust me to do anything. Yeah I do stuff behind her back, but doesnt everyone at some point? i have talked to people about moving out plenty of times and as long as I have somewhere to go im alright, arent I? I dont want to move in with my dad because we have only known each other for a year. and I want to move out of my moms place. What should I do?

[ccsmod10]

Hey there,

Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’ve been going through a tough time, but we are here to support you and help you in any way we can. That sounds really frustrating to have that conflict with your parents. We don’t want to tell you what to do, but we are definitely her to talk with you and help you explore options.

We’re not legal experts here at NRS, but generally the easiest way to leave home is with parental permission. If you do decide to leave home, you could consider exploring where you would go and if you would have everything you would need to make sure you’re safe. You could think about who you would stay with, if you would still be able to go to school, and how long you would stay. You could think about how you would get food, money, and all other necessary things. You could also consider a backup plan in case something went wrong or something didn’t go as planned.

If you haven’t already, you could consider reaching out to a trusted adult, relative, worker/teacher/counselor at your school for help and support. If you haven’t, you could consider talking to your mom about how you’ve been feeling or asking someone else to help you talk with her.

There are also many resources that could help you work through conflict at home, find a safe place if you’re in need of that, or help you with anything else you may need. If you want to talk more about what’s been going on, or if you would like more information about resources, you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us online.

Again, thank you or contacting us. It sounds like you’ve been going through a really hard time, but you’ve shown a lot of strength by working through these challenges and reaching out for help. If you ever need anything in the future, please feel free to call us or chat with us online. We’re always here to listen and here to help.

[Guest]

I'm 16 years old is there a form my parents have to sign for I can move out because in Michigan I heard you have to have permission by your parents to move out at 16 and then when your 17 years old you don't have to have permission by your parents is this true??????

[ccsmod16]

Hi,

Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. We are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. It can be very frustrating not knowing what to do or what your next step might be from this point on. It’s takes a lot of courage to ask for help with an issue that you’re having. It certainly sounds like you’re going through a hard time at home and have been thinking of running away.

Only you know when you need to leave due to your home being unsafe. Unfortunately no one but you can make that decision for you, not even here. You have asked about filling out a form to leave and just leaving when you are 17 years old. Since we aren’t legal experts here at NRS, we aren’t really aware of any “paperwork” that comes along with leaving the home. Like we tell a lot of our callers and/or people that that reach out, the laws on that specific subject of just leaving home and/or running away vary from state to state. Generally what happens in each state is if you are below the legal age of majority (18 in most states except Alabama and Nebraska [19 or upon marriage], and Mississippi [21]), your parents or whomever is legally responsible for you would be able to make a runaway report in the event that you do run away or leave without their permission. The only way to know for sure about leaving at 17 would be to reach out to your local non-emergency police and asking them hypothetical questions about running away. Once you turn 18 years old, your legal guardians can’t file you as a runaway.

You are correct in thinking that your legal guardians may give you permission to live elsewhere, but we aren’t sure what type of paperwork you might need. It might be just a letter that has been written up by both parties and notarized so it’s “official”. So that can be an option for you if you feel like yours legal guardian might respond well to you living someplace else and even moving out of the house in general.

Hope that his information is helpful to you.

[Guest]

I’m 16 and I live in Oxnard California is there any way I can move out with my 20 year old brother and we Both work and go to school ? Without parents permission?

[ccsmod1]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline.

We are not legals experts, but because you are a minor if you left your parents could file a runaway report for you and you would be returned by the police if found. Your brother could also get in trouble for what is called harboring a minor. One way to leave would be to get your parent's permission to live with him. Another would be to become emancipated. Emancipation can be a costly and lengthy process but it would allow you to leave your home before you are 18. If you want more information about emancipation or want someone to walk through your options with you about leaving your home, don't hesitate to reach out to us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We can help you action plan and figure out what you think would be best for you.

Good luck,

NRS

[Guest]

I’m 16 and will be turning 17 in the summer. My parents are constantly fighting with me. I do everything that they ask. I’ve had a very rough childhood. My aunt has offered to let me move in with her. I live in Pennsylvania. Can I move in with my aunt even without my parents reporting me as a runaway

[ccsmod1]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We are here 24/7 to listen and to support.

We're sorry to hear about how things have been at home but glad that you have an aunt that supports you. We are not legal experts but because you are a minor if your parents file a runaway report then you could be returned home by the police. There could also be legal consequences for your aunt or whomever you stay with for the charge called harboring a minor. One way you could live with her would be if your parents gave you permission. Other options would be waiting until you were 18 and legally able to move out or looking into options like emancipation. If you have any questions or want more information on any of these options don't hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

Good luck,

NRS

[Guest]

My stepdad wants to kick me out and gets me and my mom into constant arguments which is ultimately making me perform at lower levels at school because of all the stress it’s causing me. I don’t want to leave my friends or my gf. They (Mom and Stepdad) want to send me to my dads which is just as bad one because of the distance, two because of the schools, and three because of my dad and stepmom. They have gotten into many fights before and honestly I’d rather just end everything if they send me to him. He doesn’t do a very good job at concealing harmful weapons. By accident I found his knife and gun one time. It was in the kitchen cabinet. Is there any way I can just move in with my friend? Or someone I trust? Because my stepdad got into an argument with my friends parents and I still don’t know how they feel or if they’re angry with me now... I am 15 currently living California. 16 in October.

[ccsmod7]

Hello there, thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like you are going through a whole lot between arguments and them threatening to send you you to your dad's house. You mentioned that you'd rather just end everything if they send you to your dad's house. Those feelings are significant and you so deserve to make it through this. Your life has infinite value and here at NRS we want to see you through this.

If you are feeling like you are in immediate danger please call 911. If you feel like talking to someone about how you are feeling you might reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org. You can also always call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY if you ever need support. You should not have to go through this alone.

Legally at 15, you can live anywhere your guardian gives you permission to live. So if your legal guardians give you permission, you can live with your friend. If they are worried about you being able to enroll in school or things like that, they can give a friend's parents temporary custody of you through getting a temporary custody document signed and notarized. Unfortunately, if leave without permission, that is when your guardian can file you as a runaway with police. If you are listed as a runaway and police find you, you typically would be returned home. Running away is generally not illegal, rather it is a status offense meaning something you cannot do due to your age. However, if you go to a friend's without permission and their parents know that you are a runaway, they are at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway by your guardian. You might try to talk to a guardian about how you are feeling and where you would like to live. Here at NRS, we have a conference call service where we can help mediate a respectful, productive conversation between you and a guardian. Please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY if you are interested in using the conference call service to have that difficult conversation with a parent or stepparent.

That sounds pretty unsafe that your dad does not properly conceal his firearm. If you haven't already, you might try to tell him or another guardian about how that makes you understandably feel unsafe. Sometimes it can help to include trusted adults in on conversations like that if your dad is not hearing your very valid concerns. Maybe you can work towards a compromise of him keeping in a secure lock box in a less accessible place. This is something you can also use the conference call to talk to your dad about if you would like to use that service.

Again, you so deserve to make it through this and we want to be a support for you. Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you ever need support or would like to talk through your situation.

Best,

NRS

[Guest]

Hi, I'm sixteen years old and became a resident in Georgia less than a month ago. I'm originally from a small town in Iowa. Since I've moved here I've only been uncomfortable and unhappy without my friends and family that I left in Iowa. I live with my two parents and my mother is very against me moving back to Iowa since she will not be there. I was wondering if there was anyway I could move back without her consent, please help.

[ccsmod6]

Hi,

Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’re going through a stressful time, and we want to help in any way you can.

First, we want to say that we are not legal experts here. We are a nation-wide hotline, and laws are changing all the time across the country. That said, there a few general guidelines we can let you know about. At 16, your legal guardians (usually your parents) have the legal right to tell you where you can and cannot live. That means you would only legally be able to move back to Iowa if your guardian gave you permission to. If you did not get permission and you decided to leave anyway, you would be considered a runaway. The main other ways are tough: you’d either have to be emancipated (where you prove to a juvenile judge that you can be your own adult and support yourself emotionally, mentally and financially), or if there is some sort of abuse going on at home and Child Protective Services (CPS) does an investigation and deems your parents unfit to be parents (if so, this would apply to all children in the home).

It’s ok to be uncomfortable and unhappy without your friends and family that you left in Iowa. It shows how much they mean to you, and how important they are to you. Do you think there is a way you could start to build happiness in your new location? Are you involved in any clubs at school, or have you met anyone you feel comfortable hanging out with? Being new may mean being vulnerable, but your new friends may be closer than you think.

We are non-directive here, meaning we do not tell anyone what to do, but we do want you to be informed and safe. If you do decide to leave, we are certainly still here to help you. We would rather you be safe and off the street, so we can potentially find you a shelter or other safe space. We are confidential, non-judgmental, and here to help and support you in any way we can.

We encourage you to call in to us at 1-800-RUNAWAY if you are comfortable talking about your situation further. We are here to listen to you, explore your options together, find a plan that works and that you’re comfortable with, and leave you feeling supported. Most of all, we want you to be safe.

Best,

NRS