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im 16 and u want to move out of my parents house

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    ccsmod16
    Super Moderator

  • ccsmod16
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi,

    Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. We are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. It can be very frustrating not knowing what to do or what your next step might be from this point on. It’s takes a lot of courage to ask for help with an issue that you’re having. It certainly sounds like you’re going through a hard time at home and have been thinking of running away.

    Only you know when you need to leave due to your home being unsafe. Unfortunately no one but you can make that decision for you, not even here. You have asked about filling out a form to leave and just leaving when you are 17 years old. Since we aren’t legal experts here at NRS, we aren’t really aware of any “paperwork” that comes along with leaving the home. Like we tell a lot of our callers and/or people that that reach out, the laws on that specific subject of just leaving home and/or running away vary from state to state. Generally what happens in each state is if you are below the legal age of majority (18 in most states except Alabama and Nebraska [19 or upon marriage], and Mississippi [21]), your parents or whomever is legally responsible for you would be able to make a runaway report in the event that you do run away or leave without their permission. The only way to know for sure about leaving at 17 would be to reach out to your local non-emergency police and asking them hypothetical questions about running away. Once you turn 18 years old, your legal guardians can’t file you as a runaway.

    You are correct in thinking that your legal guardians may give you permission to live elsewhere, but we aren’t sure what type of paperwork you might need. It might be just a letter that has been written up by both parties and notarized so it’s “official”. So that can be an option for you if you feel like yours legal guardian might respond well to you living someplace else and even moving out of the house in general.

    Hope that his information is helpful to you.
  • Guest
    Guest

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I'm 16 years old is there a form my parents have to sign for I can move out because in Michigan I heard you have to have permission by your parents to move out at 16 and then when your 17 years old you don't have to have permission by your parents is this true??????

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  • ccsmod10
    Super Moderator

  • ccsmod10
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’ve been going through a tough time, but we are here to support you and help you in any way we can. That sounds really frustrating to have that conflict with your parents. We don’t want to tell you what to do, but we are definitely her to talk with you and help you explore options.

    We’re not legal experts here at NRS, but generally the easiest way to leave home is with parental permission. If you do decide to leave home, you could consider exploring where you would go and if you would have everything you would need to make sure you’re safe. You could think about who you would stay with, if you would still be able to go to school, and how long you would stay. You could think about how you would get food, money, and all other necessary things. You could also consider a backup plan in case something went wrong or something didn’t go as planned.

    If you haven’t already, you could consider reaching out to a trusted adult, relative, worker/teacher/counselor at your school for help and support. If you haven’t, you could consider talking to your mom about how you’ve been feeling or asking someone else to help you talk with her.

    There are also many resources that could help you work through conflict at home, find a safe place if you’re in need of that, or help you with anything else you may need. If you want to talk more about what’s been going on, or if you would like more information about resources, you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us online.

    Again, thank you or contacting us. It sounds like you’ve been going through a really hard time, but you’ve shown a lot of strength by working through these challenges and reaching out for help. If you ever need anything in the future, please feel free to call us or chat with us online. We’re always here to listen and here to help.
  • Guest
    Guest

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hi. Im 16 and I live in North Carolina. I want to move out of my parents home. We always argue and get into fights. Sometimes mom even tells me to pack my bags if I want to leave. She tells me i dont have respect for her when I do and she never trust me to do anything. Yeah I do stuff behind her back, but doesnt everyone at some point? i have talked to people about moving out plenty of times and as long as I have somewhere to go im alright, arent I? I dont want to move in with my dad because we have only known each other for a year. and I want to move out of my moms place. What should I do?

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  • ccsmod5
    Super Moderator

  • ccsmod5
    replied
    Hi,

    Thank you so much for writing in. It sounds like you've gone through a lot of scary experiences at home with your mom and it's brave of you to reach out for help and support. We're here to listen and help, and we want you to know that you never, ever deserve to be harmed or treated that way. You are important and your well-being matters! You are not a burden.

    You mentioned that you didn't call the police because you were worried about going to a foster home. That being said, if you do want to report the physical and emotional abuse that's been going on, you can always do that through the National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-422-4453. You might also consider confiding in a teacher, coach, or someone at a religious organization. Any of these individuals would be mandated reporters and so must report that.

    If you are considering leaving home, you might consider the following: where you might live, where you might get food from, whether you have weather-appropriate clothing, and how you might earn some money. In terms of choosing a place to stay, you might consider a relative, friend, or adult you trust. Do keep in mind that if you leave home, your mother does have the right to file a runaway report; if police are able to locate you, you may be brought home. It may be harder to locate you, though, if you choose to stay with someone whose address your mother doesn't know. In the meantime, you may also consider looking into local shelters in your area for the immediate future and to help you eat in the meantime.

    It sounds like there are a lot of things going on at home. If you ever want to speak about your situation more specifically, please feel free to reach out to us at the National Runaway Hotline: 1-800-786-2929. Our lines are open 24/7 and we're always here to help you brainstorm a plan or just to listen. We are also able to help you locate any resources (like shelters) in your area. Best of luck to you!

    Sincerely,
    NRS

    Leave a comment:

  • Guest
    Guest

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I’m 16 and I’ve been trying to leave home some how because of my mother she’s been verbally abusing me since I was 12 because of drinking and now is when she actually almost strangled me to death and I almost passed out and I didnt call the police because I was told not to which I figured I would go to a foster home if I did call them and I don’t want that I wanted to leave and go to and live by myself I don’t like burdening anyone else and now I haven’t been eating because my mother stopped getting food and most of the stuff is there is old and rotten and I’m scared of her that day she even grabbed a hammer to hit me with

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  • ccsmod6
    Super Moderator

  • ccsmod6
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi, thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

    It sounds like your situation at home is not safe, and it would make sense why you would want to leave. No one deserves to be mentally or physically abused.

    Most States have an "age of majority," which is when you would be considered an adult. This age can vary but in most places you need to be 18 to be considered an adult. Until then, you have a legal guardian, and that legal guardian is in charge of making decisions like where you live. What that means is your dad would have to say it is okay for you to go and live with your friend.

    Texas does have a thing called "emancipation." Emancipation is a process where you would work with the State of Texas to show that you are able to live independently. Usually that requires proof of employment and stable living.

    It is concerning that you are reporting physical and mental abuse. No one deserves to be abused, and if there is abuse in the household you might be able to get some help. You can report abuse anonymously to the Texas Department of Family Services by phone: 1-800-252-5400. Alternately, you can always reach out to us and we can talk to you about some of these options.

    It sounds like there is a lot going on, and you are very brave to reach out to us. If you have any additional questions or if you would like to get some support, you can always call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or check out our website at https://www.1800runaway.org. Good luck!
  • ccsmod10
    Super Moderator

  • ccsmod10
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    Thank you for reaching out, it sounds like you have been dealing with a really difficult situation and it makes sense that you want to leave. It is amazing that you have been using all of the resources available to you to make an informed decision about what to do that will keep you safe. It sounds like you are a very strong person and have dealt with very difficult parents in a very mature way. It must be frustrating to not be able to leave home and have to take care of your brother while your parents are not at home. It is so important that you know what you need and that you want to take care of yourself mentally and have been thinking of ways to do so. No one deserves to be slapped and treated that way, and it is understandable that you need to get away from that situation.

    We are not legal experts but we can give you some general information about your situation. If you did decide to run away and went to live with your coworker, your parents could file a runaway report since in most states the age of majority is 18 and your parents are still responsible for taking care of you until then. However, if you got your parent’s permission to live with this person, then there is no reason to believe that you could not do this. If your parents did file a runaway report, though, and the police found you, they would most likely bring you home. This would not go on your permanent record, however, and would be considered a status offence like breaking curfew. Anyone you stayed with, on the other hand, could be charged with harboring a runaway if your parents decided to press charges and take them to court and could prove that that person knew you were a runaway.

    Again, it is so great that you know what you need to keep yourself safe and that you are thinking of ways to improve your situation. If you have any other questions or just want to talk more about other options, feel free to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us through our website.

    Best of Luck,
    National Runaway Safeline
  • Guest
    Guest

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hi I am 16 and I live in texas my dad is mentally and physically abusive, and he is going to send me to Utah soon. I have a safe place to live with a good friend. I want to know if I can legally move out.

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  • Guest
    Guest

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    so im 16, I have somewhere I could possibly go, and I have an under the table job that pays amazingly, 1800 a month, I would live with who I work with. my mother blames everything on me, my little brother fell today and it was somehow my fault because I didn't stop him from doing what he was doing. my dad gets drunk and tells me he cant wait till I leave, and how he wish I would just get emancipated. I failed one year of high school, I have since caught up and been doing good grade wise but I still get yelled at and constantly told I should just leave. my dad will constantly tell me everything that isn't right with me and if I don't give an argument I get slapped or it goes on for another hour. now I basically do all the work watching my little brother when my mom goes to work, I am tired of this damn house, im not allowed to leave for more than an hour, I live out in the middle of nowhere, it takes 30 mins to get to town, wich means I cant leave, I have one local friend(within the hour I can leave) but im not allowed to see her. im not allowed to stay the night anywhere and im not even allowed to stay home by myself for a couple hours while my mom goes to work and my dad comes home, not because ive gotten in trouble, but because " your a teenager youll do dumb ******** and try to bang some slut while im gone" that's there reasoning. and the reasoning why I cant leave is because my dad is a proven control freak. I just cant take the kinda stuff my dad tells me. he used to be my stepdad but I let him into my circle and now hes destroying me mentally. Idk what im gonna do.

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  • ccsmod7
    Super Moderator

  • ccsmod7
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    Thanks so much for reaching out. You're right--you don't deserve to be verbally abused like that. It sounds like living with your dad's abuse is really wearing you down and you don't feel like you can deal with it anymore. It's completely understandable that you want to move out.

    One option is to get relatives or family friends involved and see if your dad will let you go stay with them for a bit. If you have another legal guardian besides your dad, you could also just get their permission. Even if it isn't long term, just going away for a few days would be a nice break for you. Also, just talking to someone else who knows your dad could offer some insight into ways you could improve your relationship. It sounds like he started acting like this a couple years ago--it might be worth exploring what happened then that changed his behavior (change in job? loss of a loved one?) and whether it's something that can be addressed with counseling.

    If you think there's still a chance you and your dad can mend your relationship, we do have a conference call service that could help. Basically, that would mean you and your dad talking over the phone with one of us acting as a mediator to keep the conversation civil and productive. We can focus on any topic you choose to, whether it's the verbal abuse or him giving you permission to get a job. If you'd like to explore this option further, just give us a call anytime at 1-800-786-2929.

    You mentioned that you've been having some suicidal thoughts lately. We're sorry to hear you're in that place--we know it really sucks to be there. Have you talked about these things with any of your friends? A school counselor is also a great person to talk to if you don't feel comfortable discussing it with your friends. A counselor can also help you come up with some healthy coping strategies to ease the pain you're going through at home.

    If none of these options works for you, you can definitely give us a call at 1-800-786-2929 to discuss things further. You can also talk to us anytime you just need someone to rant to. We're here 24/7 and are confidential and toll-free.

    Best of luck,

    NRS
  • Guest
    Guest

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    So I am 16, 17 in April and my dad verbally abuses me; calling me names: Problem Child, Stick in the Mud, etc. Saying **** You to me, That I'm an idiot. And then likes to pretend that it's all my fault and I deserve those names. He also tells me that I'm not even going to have a chance at the real world or colleges or anything(And I have like a 3.3 cumulative right now from my three years of High School). Its extremely depressing and demoralizing. And I know that I'm not any perfect child or anything, but NO ONE deserves to be called that on a frequent basis. Then to add on top of that, he puts these rediculous punishments on me: Like taking my phone away for extreme amounts of time, Im coming up on month 3 of grounding. Then when I'm at school I can't even touch anything outside of the basic, most very basic bits of lunch. No off campus, no snacks, no nothing. Then he doesn't let me have a job and any work I do around the house is "for the family" no matter how rediculous. He says my friends are bad influences and that hes going to call into the school on what they've been into and say that I reported it. I know they're into bad stuff but I've stayed out of it all except for once in which of course I was caught by my dictator of a dad. But I learned from it and don't plan on going back. BUT HE CONTINUES to hang on it!!!! And he likes to hold it over my head and always remind my that my friends are "bad". THEYRE GOOD PEOPLE!!! Just unfortunately into some bad stuff (vaping). Then he says hell call in and get me as the one kid that everyone HATES! Not to mention I wouldn't find out until I actually saw them because I don't have my phone! Then just to add on to his cruelty: I woke up late one morning to find my alarm clock was off, and so I rushed to get ready and head out to the bus and I miss it by like 30 seconds, and then my dad says that its my fault (which I guess it kinda was) but then he says he refuses to take me to school and that he wont call in and escuse my absenses from class, and if I try to excuse them, he'll call the school up and say its not supposed to be excused. So during the time I was home, He made me work outside for 6-7 hours shoveling the snow and stuff which is fine but then he eventually starts to make me haul 12 bags of pine needles and sticks (Huge Bags) (Also I live in Colorado) that were covered in 6 (Also not exagerating... we were actually expected to get 10 inches) inches of snow and soaked through with the snow melt from the back of our shed to the top of our driveway (A surprising elevation change - Uphill). Then I also had to shovel the YARD and when I finally thought I was done, I had to scrub the bath tubs and mop our concrete laundry room which has like dead bugs and stuff that I had to move... with my hands. So maybe Im just a whiny little dumba** like my dad says, But really after doing this for a couple of years it kinda makes you feel like, maybe it'd just be easier to kill myself... We have to gallons of gasoline and matches in our garage anyways... But I just want to hold on and I've been doing pretty good at it for the moment... But I sure as hell aint doing it for much longer if I'm stuck living here

    So I know that was a bit of a rant but I just really need to get out. And when you live in a place like Colorado, you really cant do to much.

    And to Recap: I cant get a job, I have no car, And My Dad is Verbally and Emotionally Abusive
    ccsmod7
    Super Moderator
    Last edited by ccsmod7; 10-12-2017, 08:27 PM.

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  • ccsmod7
    Super Moderator

  • ccsmod7
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello there, thank you for reaching out today.

    Sounds like you are going through a whole lot at home with your mom due to the arguing and emotional abuse. You do not deserve to be harmed in anyway. Here at NRS, we truly want to help inform you of your options and be a support for you.

    Legally, the easiest way you can leave home at 16 is with your mom's permission. This might be really hard for you, especially since you both argue a lot, but maybe there is a trusted family member of friend who can help you get your feelings across to her, and who she would be okay with you staying with. It's great that you can provide for yourself. You seem like a very responsible person. Since you are financially self-sufficient, you might look into if your state has emancipation. Emancipation is a court process where you would attempt to prove that you are better off on your own than with the assistance of your guardians to a judge. The first step of that process is contacting your local family court to petition for emancipation, or to contact a lawyer for legal assistance. We are not legal experts, but if you call or chat us we can look for legal aid resources near you.

    It sounds like this has really taken a toll on you. We really want to help you through this difficult time. If you call or chat us we can talk through you situation and help brainstorm your options. We also have a conference call service and family counseling resources if you feel like you are wanting to talk to your mom about how you are feeling. You deserve to be supported and heard.

    We look forward to hearing from you and we wish you the best of luck,

    NRS
  • Guest
    Guest

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I live in elizabeth city answer and emotional abused and I can't deal with my mom and longer she argue with me 24-7 then wants to be my friend I'm 16 years old will be 17 march 7 and I can provide for my self and have a job I think that I can do for me and I just don't want to stay with her anymore

    Leave a comment:

  • ccsmod10
    Super Moderator

  • ccsmod10
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on and how you have been feeling. We know it takes courage to share private matters like this and we’re here to help in any way we can.

    It sounds like you’ve gone through so much and from what you’ve explained, it’s completely understandable why you need to get away from your mom. Especially when you said that the therapy hasn’t worked in the past. Abuse is never okay. You never deserve to be emotionally abused. You have a right to report that abuse, if you wanted to. NRS can help you make a child abuse report or make one for you. There’s also Child Help (800) 422-4453, they are the National Child Abuse Hotline. You can report it with them as well. They also help youth find ways to get their custody transferred to safe adults or family members. If you’re close with any teachers or school personnel, they can also make the child abuse report.

    Having to live in a house where you’re being hurt will definitely effect your mental health. You mentioned that you’ve tried suicide and have thoughts about wanting to die. Having those feelings and thoughts can be a really scary space to be in. We are truly grateful that you are still living and we want you to know that your life has worth. If you ever feel like those thoughts of wanting to end your life are getting to be too overwhelming, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us or call 911. Our safeline is open 24/7, so we are always a call away. If you don’t want to call the police, we can call with you and support you through the call. Another organization that is open 24/7 and that is a good place to get support when you’re having those feelings is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (800) 273-8255 www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org . They also have a chatting service on their website.

    If you decide to leave home without your mom’s permission, you can’t be arrested for running away. We do have large database of runaway shelters, if you call into our safeline, we can try to find one for you.
    Again, we are so thankful that you reached out. We want you to know that you’re not alone in this and you’ve been so strong so far. Please remember that your life has worth. We are always here and if you want to talk more about the options that we mentioned, or just need someone to talk to don’t hesitate to contact us.

    Be safe, NRS
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