i am a runaway
i ran away from my fathers house about 2 weeks ago and i'm on probation but have been in contact with my P.O. and he knows why i left and hes saying i should go back.
i left because i am being neglected i had just turned 16 and this has been happening scene i was about 6 so for the past 10 years i have been trying to deal with neglect waiting until i could do something about it and on top of that there had been physical abuse and he has punched me in the back and slapped me across my face and left bruises on me, and when i was in about 2nd grade someone called DHS on him but they did nothing so i really don't want to ever try to turn to them anymore and because of me being on probation i cant get emancipated. i have even tried to go to counseling and i told the lady i was meeting with about something and then she said she will have to report it and i asked her not to because i was afraid that my dad was going to beat me even more for telling anyone about what he was doing. his main problem is that he drinks very much and he smokes a lot of weed and at one point he was doing a lot more drugs but every time i would try to ask him he would always get very violent towards me so i stopped talking to him and at one point i didn't talk for a whole week even at school because i was so afraid to talk to anyone else because my dad is like a loaded gun waiting for someone to pull his trigger and i do a lot i guess i just ask at the wrong time or ask the wrong questions or something.
WHAT DO I DO?!?!
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im 16 and u want to move out of my parents house
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Hi there,
Thanks for reaching out to us about your friend. It’s great to hear you’re so concerned for his well-being, and we’re glad he has someone available for him.
Emotional abuse is very serious, and we want your friend to know they’ve done nothing to deserve such treatment. You can let your friend know we can file an abuse report on his behalf, which might get CPS involved, and may result in him being housed somewhere else. You can call 1-800-786-2929 to learn more about abuse reports or to file one, 24/7.
Unfortunately, your questions are of a legal nature, and we are not legal experts. Runaway laws vary around the country, so you may want to check with your non-emergency local police department to verify the information we give you is correct. When a youth has been reported to the police as a runaway, and someone else houses them, that person can be held responsible for kidnapping that person – often called “harboring a runaway.” This offense can carry time in prison, and so you should be aware of it before you try to help your friend out in the way you suggest. You may want to look into shelters that legally house runaway and homeless youth, but these facilities may have to try to notify your friend’s parents that they plan to take him in. We can help you look for shelters in your area over the phone, and we can try to find shelters that don’t require parental notification if they exist.
Hopefully this was helpful. For further information, please give us a call 24/7.
-NRS
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Guest repliedMy friend is 16 and ftm.. He gets emotionally and verbally abused daily, I really want to help him out of this issue, is there a way of legally kidnapping someone or getting him help without having his parents involved??
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Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We are sorry to hear that your mom is strict and you both fight a lot. It sounds like you want to move in with your boyfriend. It seems like he supports you and really cares about you. We are not legal experts but since you are under 18, if you decide to move out without your mom's permission she has the right to file a runaway report. With a runaway report, if the police find you they would return you home. If you decide to stay with your boyfriend, he could get charged with harboring a runaway because he is over the age of 18. He may also get in trouble for dating you because the age of consent in New Mexico is 17. You could try asking your mom if she would allow you to stay with another family member or close friend. You may also want to consider looking into emancipation laws for the state of New Mexico. We hope that this information helps, if you have any other questions please contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat.
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Guest repliedHi, im 16 and i live in New Mexico and i was wondering what are the steps of moving out and what age i want to live with my 19 year old boyfriend but is it illegal to even be with a 19 year old in new mexico? Anyways the reason why i want to move is because me and my mom fight shes way to strict and i dont get along with my step father.And i got depression but my boyfriend helps me alot with it and i hate living with my parents.My mother dont trust me at all and thats what makes me worried and angry. please help me.
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Hi there,
Thanks for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline and appreciate you sharing about what is going on at home. It seems like you are in an unsafe environment and the way your mom is treating you is not okay. Hitting you is not justifiable. You to have the right to report the abuse to Child Help (1-800-RUNAWAY). If you want support through the process you can reach out to us at 1-800-RUNAWAY and we can be there with you.
In regards to moving out without her consent, it’s not illegal to runaway, but is a status offense. Status meaning minor and offense is running away. Your mom has the right to file a police report and you would be in the database as a runaway. If the police found you they most like would return you home unless you explain the unsafe situation you are experiencing, we would hope they would find a better option for you.
You talked about being depressed and that can be difficult to deal with as well, but your mental health is important. If you haven’t already, it may be good to reach out to someone who you can talk to, a friend, teacher, or counselor. You can go to samhsa.gov to find local mental health counselor is that is something that you are interested in.
You are not alone in this and we are here to support you in any way that we can. Please reach out to by our hotline previously mentioned or we do have a chat through our website that you can access. Stay strong and stay safe!
-NRS
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Guest repliedI'm 16 I live in Alabama and I've been deeply depressed for several years. My parents treat me like crap and my mom is always trying to justify hitting me like it's okay, can I legally move out without their concent?
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Hi,
Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’re going through a stressful time, and we want to help in any way you can.
First, we want to say that we are not legal experts here. We are a nation-wide hotline, and laws are changing all the time across the country. That said, there a few general guidelines we can let you know about. At 16, your legal guardians (usually your parents) have the legal right to tell you where you can and cannot live. That means you would only legally be able to move back to Iowa if your guardian gave you permission to. If you did not get permission and you decided to leave anyway, you would be considered a runaway. The main other ways are tough: you’d either have to be emancipated (where you prove to a juvenile judge that you can be your own adult and support yourself emotionally, mentally and financially), or if there is some sort of abuse going on at home and Child Protective Services (CPS) does an investigation and deems your parents unfit to be parents (if so, this would apply to all children in the home).
It’s ok to be uncomfortable and unhappy without your friends and family that you left in Iowa. It shows how much they mean to you, and how important they are to you. Do you think there is a way you could start to build happiness in your new location? Are you involved in any clubs at school, or have you met anyone you feel comfortable hanging out with? Being new may mean being vulnerable, but your new friends may be closer than you think.
We are non-directive here, meaning we do not tell anyone what to do, but we do want you to be informed and safe. If you do decide to leave, we are certainly still here to help you. We would rather you be safe and off the street, so we can potentially find you a shelter or other safe space. We are confidential, non-judgmental, and here to help and support you in any way we can.
We encourage you to call in to us at 1-800-RUNAWAY if you are comfortable talking about your situation further. We are here to listen to you, explore your options together, find a plan that works and that you’re comfortable with, and leave you feeling supported. Most of all, we want you to be safe.
Best,
NRS
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Guest repliedHi, I'm sixteen years old and became a resident in Georgia less than a month ago. I'm originally from a small town in Iowa. Since I've moved here I've only been uncomfortable and unhappy without my friends and family that I left in Iowa. I live with my two parents and my mother is very against me moving back to Iowa since she will not be there. I was wondering if there was anyway I could move back without her consent, please help.
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Hello there, thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like you are going through a whole lot between arguments and them threatening to send you you to your dad's house. You mentioned that you'd rather just end everything if they send you to your dad's house. Those feelings are significant and you so deserve to make it through this. Your life has infinite value and here at NRS we want to see you through this.
If you are feeling like you are in immediate danger please call 911. If you feel like talking to someone about how you are feeling you might reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org. You can also always call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY if you ever need support. You should not have to go through this alone.
Legally at 15, you can live anywhere your guardian gives you permission to live. So if your legal guardians give you permission, you can live with your friend. If they are worried about you being able to enroll in school or things like that, they can give a friend's parents temporary custody of you through getting a temporary custody document signed and notarized. Unfortunately, if leave without permission, that is when your guardian can file you as a runaway with police. If you are listed as a runaway and police find you, you typically would be returned home. Running away is generally not illegal, rather it is a status offense meaning something you cannot do due to your age. However, if you go to a friend's without permission and their parents know that you are a runaway, they are at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway by your guardian. You might try to talk to a guardian about how you are feeling and where you would like to live. Here at NRS, we have a conference call service where we can help mediate a respectful, productive conversation between you and a guardian. Please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY if you are interested in using the conference call service to have that difficult conversation with a parent or stepparent.
That sounds pretty unsafe that your dad does not properly conceal his firearm. If you haven't already, you might try to tell him or another guardian about how that makes you understandably feel unsafe. Sometimes it can help to include trusted adults in on conversations like that if your dad is not hearing your very valid concerns. Maybe you can work towards a compromise of him keeping in a secure lock box in a less accessible place. This is something you can also use the conference call to talk to your dad about if you would like to use that service.
Again, you so deserve to make it through this and we want to be a support for you. Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you ever need support or would like to talk through your situation.
Best,
NRS
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Guest repliedMy stepdad wants to kick me out and gets me and my mom into constant arguments which is ultimately making me perform at lower levels at school because of all the stress it’s causing me. I don’t want to leave my friends or my gf. They (Mom and Stepdad) want to send me to my dads which is just as bad one because of the distance, two because of the schools, and three because of my dad and stepmom. They have gotten into many fights before and honestly I’d rather just end everything if they send me to him. He doesn’t do a very good job at concealing harmful weapons. By accident I found his knife and gun one time. It was in the kitchen cabinet. Is there any way I can just move in with my friend? Or someone I trust? Because my stepdad got into an argument with my friends parents and I still don’t know how they feel or if they’re angry with me now... I am 15 currently living California. 16 in October.
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Hi there,
Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We are here 24/7 to listen and to support.
We're sorry to hear about how things have been at home but glad that you have an aunt that supports you. We are not legal experts but because you are a minor if your parents file a runaway report then you could be returned home by the police. There could also be legal consequences for your aunt or whomever you stay with for the charge called harboring a minor. One way you could live with her would be if your parents gave you permission. Other options would be waiting until you were 18 and legally able to move out or looking into options like emancipation. If you have any questions or want more information on any of these options don't hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).
Good luck,
NRS
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Guest repliedI’m 16 and will be turning 17 in the summer. My parents are constantly fighting with me. I do everything that they ask. I’ve had a very rough childhood. My aunt has offered to let me move in with her. I live in Pennsylvania. Can I move in with my aunt even without my parents reporting me as a runaway
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Hi there,
Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline.
We are not legals experts, but because you are a minor if you left your parents could file a runaway report for you and you would be returned by the police if found. Your brother could also get in trouble for what is called harboring a minor. One way to leave would be to get your parent's permission to live with him. Another would be to become emancipated. Emancipation can be a costly and lengthy process but it would allow you to leave your home before you are 18. If you want more information about emancipation or want someone to walk through your options with you about leaving your home, don't hesitate to reach out to us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We can help you action plan and figure out what you think would be best for you.
Good luck,
NRS
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Guest repliedI’m 16 and I live in Oxnard California is there any way I can move out with my 20 year old brother and we Both work and go to school ? Without parents permission?
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