im 16 and u want to move out of my parents house

[ccsmod11]

Hi,

Thanks for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline- it takes a lot of courage. It sounds like your in a really difficult situation- you are sick of the way your mom treats you and are anxious to move out. If you think the way your mom is treating you as abusive, do not hesitate to contact the police to file an abuse report. You can also do this by contacting the National Child Abuse Hotline by calling them at 1-800-422-4453. You can also visit their website at childhelp.org. We can also help you through the process; we encourage you to give us call at 1-800-786-2929 or send us a chat on our website, www.1800runaway.org. Abuse is something no one should go through.

As to your questions about moving in with your boyfriend’s family, we are happy to provide you with some answers, but it is important for you to know that we are not legal experts. Because you are not 18, if your parents were to file a runaway report and the police found you at your boyfriend’s house, the police would likely send you home and your boyfriend’s parents could potentially face legal trouble. However, if your mom consents to you living with his family, you and your boyfriend’s family will likely avoid trouble.

We hope this was helpful, but if you have any questions or would simply like to discuss further, don’t hesitate to give us a call or send us a chat. We applaud you for reaching out to us- we know it takes a lot of courage.

Best,
National Runaway Safeline

Hello. I am fifteen, and will be turning sixteen on Tuesday. I live in Colorado, and I want to move out of my house. To be honest, I’m sick of my mom’s rampage everyday and her controlling nature. I was planning on emancipating on summer, but she got mad out of no reason yesterday. She said that she’s tired of taking care of me and my younger brother. That she doesn’t care about us anymore, and we could move out if we don’t like her rules. So I considered it. I talked to my boyfriend about it, and he said that his mom will gladly take me in. I’m planning on moving out Saturday. How can I break the news to my parents? And is it okay to live with my boyfriend’s mom without getting them in trouble?

[ccsmod0]

Hello, After reading your submission it sounds quite similar to another posting that we received. We have attached a copy of the reply. If you have any follow up questions please give us a call anytime 1-800-786-2929

Reply: Hey, I'm a 16 year old from Ohio and im verbally, emotionally and have been neglected.


Hello,
Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

We appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
Some situations can be disappointing and even upsetting thus making things uncertain about what to do or where to turn.
It sounds like it has been a difficult road for you as you try to cope with your parental and personal issues. You don’t deserve to be abused and we hope that you know you are not at fault for how others behave.
We understand and we want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We are also glad to hear that you have turned away from self- harm and it also sounds like you have the support of your boyfriend. Good for you.

If you should have bouts with suicidal thoughts etc. contact the National Suicide Hotline 1-800-273-8255
NRS is here to listen and here to help.
If you would like to speak more about your situation or explore options of help we can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance.

If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or www.1800Runaway.org.

Again tell us what it is you would like us to help you with and we will be happy to explore some options with you.
We hope to hear from you soon.

Take care,
NRS

i live in ohio, i’m almost 16 years old and i really can not keep living with my parents. both my parent are together but they bring the worst out in each other and all they ever do is fight and take it out on me and my brothers. I have no extended family to let me live with them and i don’t want to go in to foster care or anything but i honestly do not know what to do because i know i would be able to live with my boyfriend at his house but my parents are like crazy and would never let that happen. I just have so many problems that just keep getting worse by being here. i have anxiety, depression, ocd, panic attacks, and this past year i got hospitalized for anorexia nervosa. I stopped eating about 4 years ago as a way to take pain out on myself and now that i’m finally not malnutrised i’m able to eat easier but it’s still difficult and now all the time my mom makes fun of me tells me if i eat i’m gonna get fat and my dad calls me name and my mom and dad are always screaming for no reason all the time like it never stops. my dad have anger issues and has broke doors in our house, chairs, and thrown stuff at my brothers. i have sound recordings of them fighting because i get scared my dad will hit my mom but he hasn’t yet. my parents are always yelling at me, telling me i’m retarted, calling me a **********, they give me no privacy they are always demanding to know everything going on and when i was starving my myself and tried to ask for help my mother just blew it off and finally did something after multiple people told her something was wrong. i just want to know if their is any legal way to move in with my bf without get a emancipation because those are almost impossible to get?

[ccsmod10]

Hi,

Thanks so much for reaching out. It sounds like you have done lot of the work and research. We are not legal experts, but we do have a lot of connections to legal. If you wanted to call us at 1-800-786-2929 and give us more info like your city, we could look into legal services in your area.

Unfortunately, we do not know how likely it is that you would be emancipated. Each case is different. It looks like New Jersey does not have a “formal statute” for emancipation, which means you would need to talk to a legal expert to find out how to best pursue emancipation. We know this can be really frustrating, especially because you have gotten so much of the work done. If you want to talk more about emancipation, or want help reaching out to the legal services, we are here 24/7 to listen and to help.

Thanks so much for reaching out,
NRS

Hi I’m 16, and I live in New Jersey. I’ve been wanting to move out since I was about 13-14. I’ve been looking for a lawyer to be emancipated and I have a bunch of paper work filled out and was hoping to get connected to someone who I can go about getting a hearing from a court. Do you think it’s likely that I’d be emancipated?

[ccsmod2]

Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline. We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

You mentioned wanting to leave home. If you decide to leave home without your parents permission, they have the right to file a runaway report. With a runaway report, if the police find you they would return you home. Running away is not illegal, but if you decide to stay with your friend and their family, they could get charged with harboring a runaway. The easiest way to leave home is with your parents permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

Be safe,

NRS

I’m 16 and I live in California. I don’t want to be at home anymore. I have depression from my parents and my parents fail to see that. They threaten to send me away to a year round boarding school in Utah if I don’t act better because they don’t want to deal with me at home anymore. Even though I just want to keep to myself. They have put me through an amount of physical abuse through out my life and continue to verbally abuse me daily. My friend and his family understand the problems they cause for me and want to take me in. I had fairly good grades up until about two and a half weeks ago where my depression overcame me. It’s caused me to lose all willingness and drive to want to try in school, play sports and even sometimes spend time with my closest friends. I don’t know if my parents would let me leave to my friends house. Although my dad claims he’d kick me out if he could and that’s he is going to when I’m 18. I’ve thought of running away or calling CPS but realized that those ideas wouldn’t really get me anywhere. What are the rules on me living with my friend and his family. They’re much nicer and have a full understanding of my situation and don’t approve of how my parents treat me. I really don’t know how much more I can take of this.

[ccsmod7]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to NRS and sharing your situation. It sounds like things with your dad are very stressful at home. We at NRS are here to help in the best way we can including providing resources, support, and discussing options. Unfortunately we are not legal experts at NRS and can only speak in general terms with regard to how your situation is typically handled. Generally speaking if you are under the age of 18 and leave home without the permission of your legal guardian or parent, they are able to file a runaway report with the police. Typically this means that if the police locate you they will bring you home and that there is the risk of legal consequences for any adult that may be providing you shelter or assistance referred to as “harboring a runaway”. Since we are not able to speak to any situation specifically we are available to provide legal resources in your area to better answer these questions. Additionally we are here 24/7 to talk about your options and discus any additional resources that may be helpful. We can be reached at 1-800-786-2929 or online at www.1800runaway.org. We hope to hear from you soon.

We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think.


Best,

NRS

i'm 16 i live in new york and i want to leave my dads house, i can't deal with him anymore , i do so much for him and he still gets mad and takes the phone i pay away for no reason, i feel like he's always trying to make one up when he takes it , and he always does wen i'm finally getting my life together. i have a job and i wouldn't still continue to work and go to school if i moved out but i want to leave one day and live with my boyfriend without telling my dad when i'm leaving and where i'm going, will i be made to get sent back home ?

[ccsmod7]

Thank you for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline (NRS). From your post on our public forum board it seems like you have a lot to think about and are going through a really difficult time.

You mentioned that your parents verbally screams and yells at you making your depression worse. If you are interested, we offer conferencing calling here at NRS where we can conference call with you and your parents to facilitate a conversation between you all to let your parents know how this has been making you feel and if they would be willing to compromise with you. If you are interested in our conference call service or want to talk through more options, you can also call us directly at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). If you would like additional support regarding your depression, you could speak with a therapist directly. You can reach out to SAMHSA at 1-877-726-4727 or www.findtreatment.samhsa.gov to find services in your city and state.

You also mentioned that you are thinking of running away from home to live with your friends parents and is in need of advice. We are non directive and cannot advise you on what you can and cannot do. Unfortunately, we are not legal experts as laws vary from state to state. Generally if a youth were to leave home without their parents permission the parents could file a runaway report. In some cases, if youth are found by the police they could make the youth return home to their legal guardians. In addition, anyone that the youth may stay with could potentially be charged for harboring. If you are looking for a more specific answer of exactly what your rights are, you can always contact legal aid in your state or reach out to your local police department through the non-emergency line to ask about laws in your community.

If you would like to reach out to us other than bulletin and email, we have a 24/7 hotline and are always here to listen and help 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We can provide legal resources and other referrals to help.

We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think.

Best,

NRS

I’m 16 and I just don’t feel safe living where I am right now with my parents and siblings..I have very bad depression and my mom and dad make everything worse..they always hurt me verbally screaming and howlering at me for everything little thing. They r just always in bad moods swearing at me and sometimes I feel like one of them is gonna hit me...when I was younger my dad used to but not so much anymore but it feels like he is about to again but also my mom now..I’m just so scared something bad is gonna happen..I mean yes they r good parents at times but most the the time I don’t think so. Is that bad to say? Ugh what am I even doing! I have everything I want..I have a bed a room and some foods and water..but it feels likes my parents don’t love me..and my sister is never usually home and my younger brother sometimes feels the same way but he would never admit it to anyone Bc he doesn’t want to b put in foster care or anything.. so how can I move out of my house maybe live with a friend with her parents or somthing? What would that mean? I don’t know I need advise

[ccsmod5]

Hello,

Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). What you described is abuse, and no one deserves to be abused. You are very brave and responsible for reaching out for help. We want to help you get to a safer place with people you feel comfortable with- and it sounds like you already have that at your grandparents. It's really great to have people you can talk to and who care about you.

To get support right now, a helpful resource might be calling the National Child Abuse Hotline - Child Help - at 1-800-422-4453. If you feel you are in immediate danger, please do not hesitate to call 911. As for living away from your parents, you cannot legally live on your own until you are 18 years old. If you choose to leave home, your parents (assuming they are your legal guardians), could file a runaway report and if you come into contact with police, they will most likely force you to return home. Although we are not law experts here at NRS, we can tell you that it is possible to transfer custody to an adult/family member you feel more comfortable with through a law process. You can call your local law office to hear more information about custody, or call us and we can put you in touch.

Again. no one deserves abuse, and everyone deserves a safe place to live. We encourage you to call us directly at 1-800-RUNAWAY where we can talk more specifically about your sitution and your options. We welcome your feedback of our services at https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think .

Hope to talk to you soon,
NRS

I’m almost 16 and I live in New York. I want to move out as soon as I turn 16.
Ever since my mom got a new boyfriend everything has changed. She abandoned me for a few months and left me to live with a friend while she carried on her life with her new boyfriend. Eventually she made me move in with her. One night we got in an argument and I wanted to walk to my grandmas and cool down. My grandmas is just a block or two away. She wasn’t very happy and she grabbed onto the hood of my sweatshirt and pulled as hard as she could and didn’t let go until I fell on the ground because i was crying and unable to breathe. About a month later we got into another argument and she demanded I give her my phone but I refused and she said her boyfriend “will handel it when he gets home” once he got home I still refused. He yelled at me and told me to get off the bed because it’s his and he didn’t want me on it he told me to sit in the kitchen so I did then he proceeded to yell at me and call me names but I still refused to give up my phone eventually he started taking drawers out of my dresser taking them outside and burning the clothes in them. My mom didn’t do anything about it. They took both of my mattresses and and broke my mirror. I ran away to my grandmas they called the cops on me, I explained to the cops what happened and they said they couldn’t do anything about it because the bought all the stuff they burnt (which is not true) I also told them they took my mattress but my mom and her boyfriend put it back before the cops went to question them. My father isn’t a part of my life and my goal is to move in with my grandparents because I feel I’ll be mentally healthier there.

[ccsmod5]

Hey,
Thanks so much for reaching out. It takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It sounds like you’re in a scary situation and it’s completely understandable that you would need to remove yourself from that position. First and foremost, we want you to know that nothing you ever do would justify your father acting violently towards you. You never deserve to be hurt, no matter if you “do a lot” or “ask the wrong questions.” Nothing would make it right or okay for him to hurt you. Please know that. It sounds like you’ve done as much as you could to try and get out of this situation legally, including reporting to child protective services and considering emancipation. We’re sorry to hear that child protective services failed to recognize your situation. You deserve to be somewhere safe where you feel supported and loved. We want you to know that you deserve to be heard. You matter and your well being matters.
We cannot give advice, but we can try to help you think through your options. One option is to return home and try to work things out with your father. We are not legal experts by any means, but if you are on probation, it is possible that there may be a legal consequence for running away. We are unsure what that might look like, but your P.O. might have more insight into that. Another option is to stay with a friend or another family member, which may be a great option for you if you’re able to get permission from your dad. Yet another option is to continue to stay away from home if you have a safe place to stay. Whatever your decision is, please know that your safety is our number one priority. If you need help reaching out to shelters, locating resources, or just trying to figure out your next steps, please feel free to call us any time. Our number is 1-800-786-2929. We wish you the best of luck and hope to hear from you soon.