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  • im 16 and u want to move out of my parents house

    I am 16 and I live in Oregon. I have been dealing with emotional abuse from my stepdad for forever. I want to move out and live with a friend until I finish high school without my parents trying send me away or calling the cops. Im in the process of looking for a job and I still going to school. I don't feel mentally safe here and I especially don't want to be sent to my dads. I don't want to get into any trouble I just simply don't feel safe, wanted, and don't want to live here. Is there any way I can legally move out or in with someone else? I have tried asking, they wouldn't hear of it. There is a safe house just out of town that im thinking about going to but if I do and then come back they will send me away and disown me for sure.

  • #2
    Re: im 16 and u want to move out of my parents house

    Hi there,

    Thank you for reaching out to NRS and sharing your situation. It sounds like things are difficult at home and we want to congratulate you on looking for safe alternative options.

    We're not legal experts here, but unfortunately it looks like the age of majority in Oregon is 18 years old, so your guardians are legally responsible for you until then. Of course, it is important that you feel that you live in a safe environment with the emotional and physical resources you need to succeed. In Oregon it looks like you are able to petition for emancipation (which would make you legally able to move out and live on your own as an adult) if you are at least 16 years old and able to financially support yourself and manage your own affairs. If interested in emancipation we have a referral to the Cascade Youth & Family Center (540-382-0934) who may be able to find resources and assist you with this process.

    We know that emancipation can be a lengthy and sometime fruitless process, so if this is not a route that is best for you perhaps there are other options for finding a safe place within your own home to go when things are rough with your stepdad or perhaps an alternative way of discussing the situation with your parents to attempt to change their minds with regard to you moving out?

    NRS is here 24/7 and entirely anonymous and confidential if you would like to discuss your options as well as receive any additional referrals and resources. We can be reached at 1-800-786-2929 or via our online chat services at www.1800runaway.org between 4:30pm and 11:30pm CST.

    Best of luck,
    National Runaway Safeline
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    Tell us what you think about your experience!

    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

    Comment


    • #3
      emotionally depressed and

      Hi I'm going about to turn 16 and I been feeling depressed for about 5 years since I been raped by my older brother . I live in Georgia with my dad now my mom sent because I ran away last year but I came back . So now I'm talk to my boyfriend and he didn't want me to leave so I got a job and I'm able to provide for my self I just wanna go somewhere where I'll be happy and I'm attending school everyday haven't missed one day at this school. I just really want to ask if there's anyway I can leave my house without my mom and dad trying to keep me from leaving and being happy by myself

      Comment


      • #4
        RE: emotionally depressed and

        Hello there –

        Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. From reading your post here on our public forum, it sounds like have certainly gone through a lot in your life. You seem to be a very strong individual to have had gone through something like rape and still fight and stand up for yourself to be happy. You deserve to be happy and not treated like the way that we have been treated in the past. If you ever feel the need to talk to someone about what happened, you can always reach out to us here at NRS or you can call “RAINN” (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) at 800.656.4673.

        The only way that you will be removed from your adoptive parents’ custody legally is if you report any abuse that was happening at home and there was an investigation or if you filed for emancipation (every state is different, but you have to be 16 years or older). Those are the only two ways that you can legally leave your home. Just know that you always have the right to report any abuse (physical, mental, sexual, harassment, and neglect) to your local police department or child protective service in your state. But if you were looking into emancipation we can give you some general knowledge of that process. Those laws regarding emancipation are different in every state, so we can’t tell you exactly how it works. What we know is that getting emancipated by the court is a process that does take a while. There also needs to be proof that the youth is able to support him or herself on their own and in some cases they will need to have their parents’ permission to get emancipated. Another resource that we have for you here that will be able to give you some answers to your questions is a number to a general legal aid agency.

        So if you were to just go to live with someone else, whomever has legal custody has to the right to tell you where you are to live. Your legal guardian may give you permission to live with another family and/or friend, but without getting an official document from the court they would still be legally responsible for you since you are still under the age of 18. Which means that she can also take away that permission at any given moment and make you come back home to live home once again. Or file a runaway report with the local police to have you come back home. That is why sometimes it is suggested that when a parent gives permission for a youth to leave that they also get something notarized to so proof that you had permission to leave.
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          Can I move out at 17?

          I live in Missouri. I am currently a fifteen year old girl, and I want to move out at seventeen because my parents often neglect the emotional and physical needs of myself and my siblings. I do have a job at a restaurant here in my town, and in the summer I work in the fields for the farmers. I can provide for myself, as I have done countless times before. I just want to know if I can legally move out at 17, because my sister did it but she was in the foster system for a little bit. Thank you for your help.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: can i move out at 17?

            Hey there,

            Thank you so much for reaching out NRS. We recognize that asking for help can be a hard thing to do, but rest assured that you are taking the right steps. From what you’ve shared with us there seems to be some neglect issues at home. It also sounds like you are a very level headed and brave person. We admire the courage you have as you are looking to liberate yourself.

            A main concern you had was about leaving home at 17. We’re not legal experts, but generally speaking if you leave home without consent of your parents before 18, it is considered running away which is a status offense. Consequences of this could involve a guardian filling a runaway report and if you are found by the police, returning back home. However, if you do have permission form you guardian it is a much different story. Another option to consider is emancipation. Although this process can be time consuming and not always guaranteed, if home life is unstable or regularly endangering your safety, reports can be filed against your parents and possibly help towards the process. We are not legal experts but if you were interested in this process we may be able to connect you with legal aid in your area.

            You did mention some neglect that goes on at home. We are sorry to hear that this has been affecting you. If you would ever like to report neglect or possible abuse, reaching out to us or even school personal can be beneficial when doing so. If you do decide to leave home staying as safe as possible is important. It’s not clear if you have a plan as to where you would go, but generally one who plans to become independent needs to consider factors of sustainability such as getting a job, health insurance, shelter, food supply, and basic needs. Please know that if you need a shelter or safe place in your area, we can help you find this for you. Reaching out to friends or family can also be something you might want to consider. If you feel like you are in immediate danger at home at any point, contacting the police is always an option.

            We hope this has helped you in some way. Again thank you so much for using our services, we are always her to listen. Feel free to give us a call at 1800RUNAWAY if you had any more questions or concerns. Stay strong and positive!

            Best of luck!
            -NRS
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
            Tell us what you think about your experience!

            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

            Comment


            • #7
              Hi im 15 soon to be 16 live in california and want to move out of my moms house the rules shes giving is stressful were strating to argue more more shes no long hearing me out im always wrong and its bring me down its makin me depressed i just need to get away from here i want to countinue school and really successed at my highest level hang out with friends even if she dosnt think there good because i know how far i will go and im not tring to put myself in harms way

              Comment


              • ccsmod3
                ccsmod3 commented
                Editing a comment
                Hello and thanks for posting on our forum. We’re sorry to hear things are stressful at home. It sounds like the arguing between you and your mom is bringing you down and making you depressed. At the same time, you mentioned you want to really succeed at your highest level and continue school.

                We are not legal experts; however, we do have basic information on emancipation for your state.

                In the state of California, there are three ways to become emancipated.
                1) get married
                2) join the military
                3) go to court and have the judge declare you emancipated.

                For a judge to declare a minor emancipated, the minor….
                o Must be at least fourteen years old.
                o Must be living apart from parents with their consent or acquiescence.
                o Must be managing finances and have a legal source of income.
                o The judge must find that emancipation is in best interest.
                o The judge also wants to see that minor is in school or has a GED.

                Please know we are not here to judge you and we do care about your safety. If you are feeling like you might be at risk of harming yourself please feel free to reach out to us directly either by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY or trying out our Live Chat. There is also the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1-800-273-8255, https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/. We hope this helps and wish you the best of luck!

            • #8
              Hi Im 17 years old about 8months away from turning 18 i want to know if i can move out at my age of 17, i only live with my mom but ive been getting treated like a maid in my own house by her. I have to do everything on my own. She's all day in her room stuck to her bed. Im from Connecticut thank you.

              Comment


              • ccsmod3
                ccsmod3 commented
                Editing a comment
                Hello and thanks for posting on our forum. We are sorry to hear you are having to pick up your mom’s slack. It sounds like your primary focus right now is figuring out whether or not there is a way to move out at 17.
                We are not legal experts; however, we do have basic information on emancipation for your state.

                Under the statute, a 16- or 17-year-old living in Connecticut (or his parents or guardian) can file a petition asking a judge to declare him emancipated. Courts must give the child's parents or guardian legal notice and order them and the child to attend a hearing. The statutory grounds for emancipation are:

                • marriage (even if the child has since divorced)
                • active U.S. military service
                • the child is willingly living apart from his parents or guardians (with or without their consent) and is managing his own financial affairs, regardless of the lawful source of his income
                • a good cause showing that emancipation is in the best interests of the minor or his child or the minor's parents or guardian.

                Additional information can be found here: https://ctlawhelp.org/a-teenagers-guide-to-emancipation. We hope this helps and wish you the best of luck!

            • #9
              Hi I'm 16 soon to be 17, I want to move out of my moms house where it's only her and my sisters + a brother living. I live in Illinois. Not just me want to move out one of my sisters is planing to go and live with our dad. My plans are to go and live at a friends house and still pay rent and buy food, her mom agrees I can stay. Also my mother has no objection. Because lately we been arguing way to much that we can't see each other face to face. In the same room. I been spending more time in my room and some this I eat 2 to 1 time a day. She told me I have to go to court but I don't have the minor idea how to do that.
              Last edited by ccsmod4; 08-08-2017, 02:48 AM.

              Comment


              • #10
                Reply: Hi I'm 16 soon to be 17

                Hello,
                Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

                We appreciate you sharing what’s going on.
                We understand and we want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. It sounds like you are hoping to get some court information.
                You might consider searching online for the nearest county family court in your city and state.
                We are not legal experts but we can try to assist you with looking for legal aid options in your area including court houses.

                We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
                Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or www.1800Runaway.org.

                Again tell us what it is you would like us to help you with and we will be happy to explore some options with you.
                NRS is here to listen and here to help.
                We hope to hear from you soon.

                Take care,
                NRS

                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                National Runaway Safeline
                info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                Comment


                • #11
                  I am 16 and I live in The Bronx . I have been dealing with emotional abuse and sometimes physical but it's more frequent from my mother for forever. I want to move out with anyone I can and I want to finish high school without my mom trying send me away or calling the cops. I'm still going to school. I don't feel mentally safe here im afraid she's going to drink too much and send me to the hospital like she did to my sister. I don't want to get into any trouble I just simply don't feel safe, wanted, and don't want to live here.I've tried everything with my mother but nothing is working it's getting worse. Is there any way I can legally move out or in with someone else?. I've even tried family meetings and consoling but she always says she'll listen to their advice but she comes home and still lashes out at me and she says I have to stay quiet because she's my mother and my mother has had abusive relationships and parents and I just can't take it anymore it's everyday for the past 5 years and I'm struggling with depression and anxiety and she just makes it worse and I also self harm she doesn't let me do anything else and she makes me stay in my room all day and yes I've gotten help with my depression but it comes back because of her

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod7
                    ccsmod7 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hello there, thanks for reaching out today.

                    Sounds like you have been enduring emotional and physical abuse from your mom for a long time now. That sounds incredibly hard to deal with; you must be a very resilient person. You so deserve to be safe in your home, and it sounds like this all is taking a huge toll on you.

                    You do have the right to report each instance of abuse in your home to child protective services. If they find the abuse highly dangerous, they would remove your from your home. To learn more about your reporting options you might contact the expert child advocates at Child Help 1-800-422-4453.

                    You mentioned wanting to know if you can legally move out at 16. The easiest way you can leave home at 16 is with your guardian’s permission. We know this might be a really hard conversation and your mom sounds really difficult to talk to. You might include a supportive/trustworthy adult like your counselor or a family member in on the conversation with your mom about you moving out. That could help your needs be heard when your mom is not listening to you. The other possibly way you could legally leave home is through the emancipation court process. That is a timely and sometimes costly court process where you would have to prove to a judge that you are financially and generally better off living apart from your mom. Please call or chat us if you would like more local information on emancipation in New York. Finally, if you do decide to report the abuse and you are removed from your mom’s care, typically CPS would look for family members that could take you in.

                    You mentioned that your depression and anxiety is getting worse due to your mom’s actions. That is so understandable, and we are really glad that you have gotten help with your depression. We encourage you to always reach out for help when you are feeling that way. We have a national database of individual and family counseling services if you ever needed another counselor. If you haven’t already, you might check out both of these great sites on self-harming: www.twloha.com & http://butterfly-project.tumblr.com. You so deserve to be supported through this. Here at NRS we truly want to help, so please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you would like to talk about what you are going through. We are here to listen and help as best we can.

                    -NRS

                • #12
                  I am 16 and I live in The Bronx . I have been dealing with emotional abuse and sometimes physical but it's more frequent from my mother for forever. I want to move out with anyone I can and I want to finish high school without my mom trying send me away or calling the cops. I'm still going to school. I don't feel mentally safe here im afraid she's going to drink too much and send me to the hospital like she did to my sister. I don't want to get into any trouble I just simply don't feel safe, wanted, and don't want to live here.I've tried everything with my mother but nothing is working it's getting worse. Is there any way I can legally move out or in with someone else?. I've even tried family meetings and consoling but she always says she'll listen to their advice but she comes home and still lashes out at me and she says I have to stay quiet because she's my mother and my mother has had abusive relationships and parents and I just can't take it anymore it's everyday for the past 5 years and I'm struggling with depression and anxiety and she just makes it worse and I also self harm she doesn't let me do anything else and she makes me stay in my room all day and yes I've gotten help with my depression but it comes back because of her

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod7
                    ccsmod7 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hello there! Please see our response to your identical post above (post #11).

                    Please call or chat us if you ever need!

                    -NRS

                • #13
                  Hey I'm 16 and I live in Virginia I'm depressed because my girlfriend moved away to west Virginia and I wanted to know if I'm allowed to leave home without getting in trouble

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod15
                    ccsmod15 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hey there,

                    It sound like you’re going through a difficult time at home and within your relationship. It makes sense why you would want to leave home, and we hope to give you some information about what leaving home might look like so you can make a more informed decision about running away.

                    Firstly, we are not legal experts, so the information we provide is only general. We do not know how the laws are written and enforced where you live. However, running away is not a criminal offense in most areas, it is a status offense much like breaking curfew is. Because of this, it is unlikely that you would ever be arrested or detained by police as a runaway. However, whoever houses you could be held criminally responsible for harboring a runaway. As a result, you may want to inform whoever you choose to stay with of this possibility. If you want more information about the potential consequences of running away, you could call your local non-emergency police department and ask anonymous and hypothetical questions about running away.

                    Hopefully this information helped you out. We invite you to call into us at any time if you need further assistance, and we wish you the best of luck.

                • #14
                  Hi, I live in Kentucky. I don't really want to go into detail about what's happening at home, I just would like to know Kentucky's laws and regulations on a minor leaving their home without parents consent. Will the police force me to go back to the house where my parents live? I can't move with my dad and I have nowhere else to go. I "ranway" to my grandmas when I was 14/15 and they forced me to go back home despite the verbal and emotional abuse. I am now 16 and if I am eligible to get a job and care for myself, can I leave home? I'm tired of living here and I don't know if I can wait these next two years out. Please help.

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod10
                    ccsmod10 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hi there,

                    Thanks for reaching out to NRS. We appreciate you explaining a bit about what you’re going through.

                    You said that you’re being emotionally abused at home, you don’t deserve to be abused in any way. That sort of treatment is not okay. If you ever want to make a child abuse report, we can always help you do that. There is an organization that helps youth find ways to get their custody transferred to safe adults or family members in their lives (like your grandmother). They’re called Child Help (800) 422-4453.

                    We’re not legal experts, but we do have general knowledge about runaway laws. It’s not something that you can be arrested for, it’s called a status offense. What happened when you ran away the first time, how they forced you back home, is what commonly happens in those situations. We do offer to call out with youth to local police to find out exactly what their protocols are, if you call into our safeline, we can do the same for you. We can also ask them what happens if youth refuse to go back home. We can also see if there’s legal aid resources in your area that can see if there are any ways you would be able to move out early.

                    We’re here to help in any way we can, you’re not alone in this. Also, talking to school counselors and teachers about what’s going on at home could provide you with great support. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. You are always welcome to call into our 24/7 crisis center, or use our chatting services via our website. However, the chatting service is not open 24/7. So the best way to tell us everything would be to just call into our hotline and talk to one of our trained liners.

                    Be safe, NRS

                • #15
                  I'm 15, turning 16 soon. I can't be at this home anymore, my stepdad left my siblings and me around March this year and now I'm living with my stepmom She abuses me verbally all of the time, blaming me for her marriage and always saying I'm the reason that our family has been "ruined", I'm always being called names, she's told me that she hates me multiple times, She is the reason I have cut and gotten very depressed, I don't feel right and safe in the house, I've ran away more than once, cops have gotten involved, and I have been moved out of my house for a month to live with another family, How can I make this permanent, how can I can just be moved out of there for good, into an actually loving home?

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod15
                    ccsmod15 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you have been going through such a hard time, but we are here to help you at support you in any way we can. We want you to know that no one deserves to be abused, and you should not have to go through that. We want you know that you are worth it and that there’s hope for you. That sounds really stressful and hurtful to be a home that you don’t feel is loving and where you don’t feel safe.

                    If you ever feel that you’re ever in danger, you can always call 911 for immediate help. Also, if you haven’t already, you could consider reporting the abuse you’ve been experiencing. If you’d like more information about abuse reporting or if you’d like help making a report, you could call Child Help at 1-800-422-4453 (childhelp.org) or you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us online. We also have legal aid resource if you have questions about the laws related to leaving home.

                    If you haven’t already, you could also consider reaching out to a trusted adult, family member, or worker at your school like a school counselor for help and support. You could consider asking someone to help you talk through things with your family.
                    There are resources out there that could help you work through conflict at home, help you with any mental health struggles you’re experiencing, help you find a safe place if you’re in need of that, or help you with anything else you may need. If you would like more information about resources, or if you’d like to talk more about what’s been going on, you can call us or chat with us online.

                    Again, thank you for contacting us. It sounds like you’ve been going through a lot, but you’ve shown a lot of strength by working through these challenges and reaching out for help. If you ever need anything in the future, please feel free to call us or chat with us online. We’re always here to listen and here to help.
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