16 and wanting to move out but there are other problems

[Guest]

ok im 16 and i live in michigan i want to move out but my parents do not aprove of me leaveing, i have a job, a car, a place to stay and can support myself basicly. my paents arnt bad people or they dont abuse me or anything but ever scince my little cusin has came up here from florida to live with us( me , little brother, little sister, and mom and dad) becuase my ant died. well ever scince he came up here stress levels have gone sky high, parents snaps at little things, mom drinks more and both my parents smoke pot but i dont want my parents to get in truble so i dont want the get the law involed or hurt anyone else or get my siblings taken away, and also i dont have the best record about a half year after my cusin got here i got busted sellin vicoden i never got charged or anything but it did go thur the system and i dont want that to interfear with me leaving. I always feel in the way or a pain and never want to be home because of that and i deal with akot of stress here,
ther place i would move into is around the corner from my parent so its not very far but it gives me my space. what do u guys think is there any way i could get in truble or have the past brought back on me, i know i could call protective services and just go but i dont want to do that

[ccsmod0]

Re: 16 and wanting to move out but there are other problems

Thank you for posting a bulletin on NRS’s page. We are sorry to hear that you have been feeling exasperated from being at home. It is understandable why leaving might be less stressful for you. It also sounds like there has been a drastically change in your family since your cousin moved in that it has increased the stress level along with it affecting some of your choices.

Have you left home before? If you were to leave, do you believe that your parent would file a runaway report? It is great that you have been thinking of what would be needed to keep yourself safe. Do you feel the place that you would be moving to is a safe place? Would it be with a friend or living on your own or an independent living program? You are a thoughtful person to also consider what could happen to your siblings and not wanting to hurt anyone. . What would need to change at home for you to stay? Feeling like you are in the way from your family is difficult to deal with. Running away is not illegal unless you have prior charges and are on probation. Yes, Child Protective service or the police would return you home except if you are identifying any type of abuse or not a safe environment.

Have you thought about possible looking to get emancipated through your Probate court? There would be a hearing in front of the probate judge to determine if it is in the best interest for you. For the judge to make this determination the minor must be able to show that:
• Parents or guardian do not object or if they do object they are not providing support to the minor.
• The minor is at least 16 years old.
• The minor is a resident of Michigan and that particular county.
• The minor can manage his/her own finances and has either employment or means of support other than Public Assistance such as Food Stamps, TANF, State Disability.
• The minor has the ability to handle personal and social affairs (including proof of housing).
• The minor understands his/her rights and responsibilities under this law. (The minor must read the emancipation law and understand it.)

It is up to you to convince the judge that all of these requirements are met. This is done through sworn testimony from you and any other persons you wants to have in the courtroom to testify about these areas. It sounds like you have a good start with having a job, a place to stay and transportation.

We are here 24/7 confidential crisis if you would like to discuss more in depth or you can post another bulletin. We look forward to hearing from you! Good luck and take care.


~NRS

[Guest]

Re: 16 and wanting to move out but there are other problems

no ive never left home be for and im going to assume they will file a run away report.
i would end up going to my friends house and ive already taked it over with his mom and make a flexible rate of rent, 40 % of my income will go 2 rent and then all the rest gose to everything esle. what is an independenr liveing program and what do you mean prior charges
like would my disrtobution of a controld substance come back to get me i dont want to get charged with it, to my undrestanding if i screw up at all i get charged so
im trying to keep out of truble.

[ccsmod8]

Re: 16 and wanting to move out but there are other problems

Hello,

We appreciate your eagerness to learn more and to carry on with your goals for the future. We commend you for getting back to us with more questions, as you try to figure out the best move to make here. It must feel like a great weight on your shoulders right now and with so much burden on your mind, we imagine your life can be even scarier, especially for a young person such as yourself, who has never lived away from home before.

Generally speaking, a runaway report serves the purpose of verifying your status as a runaway if the police found you and it helps to keep your parents from getting charged with neglect. However, if you decide to stay with friends after your run away, we recommend that you try to educate your friends and their families about the consequences of harboring a runaway. Some states can prosecute individuals for sheltering and keeping information about the whereabouts of the minor from their parents. We applaud you for finding time to work out a plan with your friend's family and stepping up to the plate by allocating funds to contribute to their household. It is simply of matter of now getting your parents to agree, so that the transition from your home to another is easy for you.

We are not legal experts and cannot give our word on whether or not your past legal troubles can come back to get you but these two issues are separate. On one-hand, distributing an illegal substance is something the police take more seriously than issues of runaways. In most city, runaways are not a priority as trying to catch people involved with drug use or selling. It is also possible for your records to remain sealed because you are a minor still. We imagine the pressure of living everyday with the fear of "screwing up" can be daunting but it sounds like you are only trying to make things better for yourself. Keeping out of trouble reflects on you better if you were to face a judge in the future for past events. When we say prior charges we simply meant although running away is not a crime, you have to try to avoid getting in legal trouble while you are away from home to avoid further prosecution because although you cannot go to prison for running, getting involve with such acts can add another dimension to your life besides just running away. The police can hold you longer for crimes committed when you were on the run.

In the case of independent, it is to make sure that each eligible person is able, to the maximum extent possible, to live independently and participate in family and community life increasing their potential to return to live on their own. Services may include the following: addressing any personal and / or family adjustment issues, independent living skills training and connection with community-based support services. Someone is place in charge in determining that employment goals are feasible. Some organizations that you seek out can evaluate your independent living needs. You will work together to identify your needs. An individualized Independent Living Program will be written providing the services necessary to meet the your identified needs. Referral to specialized facilities and / or for consultation with other professionals may be necessary in the development and implementation of a your ILP. If ILP was of interest to, you are welcome to call us at our 1800RUNAWAY, 24 hours/day to give referrals or to seek out other avenues for proper planning. We hope that you try to stay on top of things and we wish you the best. Good luck.

-NRS

[Unregistered]

16 wanna move out and have a baby on the way

i wanna move out dont leve because if u do u can get locked but i know i have doon it.life is not easy im trying to get out so i dont have to be by crazzy as mother

[ccsmod2]

Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Switchboard; we are a confidential and anonymous crisis line for youth. You can reach us 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

It sounds like you are going through a lot right now. You said that you want to leave your mom’s but you can’t because she’ll lock you out. You also mentioned that life isn’t easy for you; what’s going on?

What we can do is try to locate resources or programs in your area that may be able to help. We have a database with numbers for shelters, legal aid, therapy/counseling and other services. If you would like any numbers, please call us anytime so we can help you.

We look forward to hearing from you and wish you the best of luck.

~NRS

[Unregistered]

I want to move out/run away. 16 years old.

So I live with my parents, they arnt bad people. Just we fight all the time! There isn't a day where we dont fight. Recently I told them that I didn't believe in god, after that they went off the deep end. And I came out. I have a boyfriend, which they don't agree with either. I can't talk to them about anything. They always bring god into it and they just push it on me.. It's like they are trying to change me into the person they want me to bed. I was offered to live with 2 people. My best friends parents and my boyfriends parents I want to live anywhere. My stress level here is horrible. I have bad depression, when ever I'm home I feel like I need to take all my pills at once just to feel normal. I cry my self to sleep everynight. And I sleep all day. I feel sick all the time cause I have to deal with the stress and depression everyday. And my parents told me that thing won't change cause they would never choose god over there ONLY son. So I just want out of this house, my father and I don't have a good father son deal, he walked out almost 5 years ago and then came back 3 years ago. He doesn't wanna gain anything with me. When ever I want to talk about my problems he just glares. When I go to talk to my mother she just brings god into and makes me feel like ********. I just can't take it anymore. I don't know what to do anymore..

[ccsmod5]

Re: I want to move out/run away. 16 years old.

Hey,

Thanks for reaching out to us and sharing your story. You're right, stuff does sound you can't take it anymore. Good thing you're reaching out for help.

It's sad to hear that the two people that you're supposed to be getting the most support from, aren't there for you and on top of that, treat you badly. But also, sounds like you have lots of folks that DO care for you, your safety and your comfort. Do they know all the harsh details that are happening to you at home? Doea anyone outside of that circle of supportive people know about your crisis? (school counselors, teachers, other family members, etc). Sometimes finding lots of supportive systems is the way to go because then we have more options.

At the end of your message you say you can't take it anymore and that you don't know what to do. Sounds like you're already doing a lot: talking to people about it, finding alternative hosuing options, etc. Have you thought about going to these places? What would your parents say? Do you think they would recoginize that maybe it's best that you live somewhere else?

As far as options go, there might be some social service agencies where you can live at or get advocacy from...what city/state do you live in? Depending on the avalability of services in your area, we may be able to find some resources for you. Since you talked a bit about having come out to your folks and that not being somethign that they supported, here is a resources if you feel it might be useful:

GLBT National Hotline
1888-453-4564

If that hotline doesn't have the services you need, you can also call our hotline; we're anonymous and confidential. We're available 24 hours a day.

1800-RUNAWAY (786-2929)

Best of luck with everything. Take care,
-NRS

[Unregistered]

I'm 15 and need out

I've been preparing this for a while me and my mom don't work out before I had my growth spirt she would abuse my physically and mentally she would make me feel worthless and then she has this app that tells her my grades but it never works because it can say I have a U when I really have an A+ and anytime I get anything below a B even if it's not final she would grab me by the ear or the hair and literally slam me against the wall or throw me down the stairs and didn't even try to help me with my grade but once I had my growth spirt I stood up for myself and told her abiding me just stresses me out more and she needs to help me with my grades and she quit for like a year but when I got into my first year of highschool it was a complete nightmare and I can't go through it again especially when I'm going into 10th grade she stressed me out so much I was crying everyday and since I'm bigger then her she's made my dad do all the hitting and punching I can't focus on school and her because I'm getting grounded everyday for not being able to find a soda or something and then being stressed out because if I don't get something above a b- my moms gonna kill me I have a friend who I've been talking to this about and her mom was planning on getting a bigger house this month anyways and shed be fine with letting me stay I've saved up enough money from mowing lawns to help her pay until I land back on my feet but the main thing I'm worried about is everything I own ever since I was in elementary school the only friend I've had is my dog because my mom won't let me have friends I love him with all my heart and I can't leave him here because he would just be sent to the shelter I also have a chinchilla that I bought with my own money and a couple of video games but the main thing I'm worried about is tj my mom has a lot of animals but she doesn't take care of any of them I'm the only one who gives them food and water and takes them to the restroom and clean their litter box and I can't leave tj but what if she try's to come and get him am I going to have to give him to her? The only reason I've made it this far is because he was there to cheer me up when I was stressed out about my mom I love tj and I can't leave without him. Also living with my mom and dad has really affected my grades at school and it's worrying me i failed my first test this year because I was so stressed I was crying in the middle of school and I knew all the answers. I really need help I'm scared and idk what to do I mean am I supposed to just leave and I can't tell my mom or dad because they would lock me up in my room and take my phone plz help me

[Unregistered]

I need to move out

Ok I've been thinking about this for like a month now I have a friend who will let me stay with them until I get back on my feet I'm 15 and I'm starting 10th grade when summer is over me and my mom abuses me physically and mentally everyday and I can't go through another year of highschool like this my first year was a nightmare anytime I had anything below a B on parent portal even if it was just a misunderstanding my mom would grab me by the ear or by the hair and literally slam my head up against the wall or she would throw me down the stairs but now that I'm bigger then her she's made my dad do it which is even worse because he's much more violent. I've saved up enough money from mowing to help pay until i get a real job but she said she would pay for most of it I don't really know anything about what I'm supposed to do like am I supposed to just run away or something but either way my parents can't know because they would lock me In my room and take my phone i also know that this is affecting my grades and it's worrying me because I'm usually a straight A student but I've been getting a lot of B's and C's lately and I know everything they teach me but what I'm mostly worried about what I own I have a dog named tj and a chinchilla and a couple of games that I bought with my own money but tj is something my mom bought for my birthday after I begged her to because she wouldn't let me have friends tj's been my only friend since elementary school and he's the only reason I've made it this far because he would make me feel better when I was stressed out or upset i can't leave tj here he'll just get sent to the shelter my mom has a lot of animals but doesn't take care of any of them I'm the only one who feeds and waters them and take them to the restroom and clean their litter I really need help plz reply

[ccsmod14]

Re: i need to move out

Hello there,
Thank you for reaching out to us. It sounds like you are going through a really difficult and frustrating time right now, and no one deserves that. We are here to listen and help in any way we can.
Have you ever thought about what it would be like if you left? Or what it would be like to leave your pets? It sounds like that would be a hard thing to give up. Do you have any other friends or family that would be able to take your pets for you if you were to leave home?
You spoke about abuse from your parents, which no one deserves. Have you ever considered filing an abuse report? If not, would that be an option for you? You are not alone and we are here to help you through this difficult time. An option that we offer here is conference calling. If you do decide to make an abuse report you could call in to us and we would make the report with you. If that is not an option have you ever considered family counseling? Sometimes a neutral third party can be helpful to talk about the issues that are going on at home and they can also be there to listen about how you really feel. Nobody deserves to feel this way. We would love to talk to you about your situation and maybe help come up with alternative options or help you with the options discussed above.
We don’t give advice here, we just try our best to remind you of all the options that you have. We will not tell you to runaway or not runaway, but we do want to give you a few things that might be helpful to think about while you’re deciding what you will do:

What else can I do to improve my home situation before I leave?
What would make me stay at home?
How will I survive?
Is running away safe?
Who can I count on to help me?
Am I being realistic?
Have I given this enough thought?
What are my other options?
If I end up in trouble, who will I call?
When I return home, what will happen?

We are 24/7, confidential, and anonymous. We can be reached at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). If you do not feel comfortable calling in we can be reached by live chat at www.1800runaway.org from 4:30 pm-11:30 pm Central Standard Time. We want to wish you luck and look forward to hearing from you.
Good luck,
NRS

[ccsmod14]

Re: I'm 15 and need out


Hi there,

If you have contacted NRS today through another means (for example, live chat, email or bulletin) for the same issue, it would be helpful to let us know that you have already contacted us. NRS understands it takes courage to reach out for help; therefore, we would like to minimize the need for you to repeat your situation and avoid offering you duplicate services.

Thank you,
NRS

[Unregistered]

I need to move out

It is a hard thing to leave but at the same time it's not I hate my parents but I love my animals I have a freind who had said I can stay with them and they would fine if I brought my dog and chinchilla along with me I have pretty much everything prepared except for what to do now I don't know how to do it am I gonna need to sign papers or call someone or am I just supposed to leave the house and not come back I'm so confused i just want to move out and start fresh

[ccsmod1]

RE: i need to move out

Thanks for getting back to us. We are here to listen and support you. This sounds like a very difficult situation. If you run away to live with your friend, your parents could file a police report and have the police pick you up and force you to go back home. Your friends would be risking charges for harboring a runaway. It sounds like you want to move out and start fresh. We can help you talk about your options and help you understand what could happen if you run away. If your parents do not give you permission to live with someone else, there are no papers you can sign. If you have any more questions or need anything else, we strongly encourage you to call the hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are here 24/7 to answer your call. We wish you the best of luck, and look forward to talking to you soon.

[Unregistered]

I'm 16, and need to leave.

Okay, I'm 16 I have a job, a car, and get 500 bucks a month. I want to leave me house but my parents won't let me. Is there a way to leave. And I live in Missouri.