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16 and wanting to move out but there are other problems

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  • #16
    Re: I'm 16, and need to leave.

    Hi there,

    Thank you so much for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline. We are here to help you out the best that we can.

    It sounds like you want to leave home but you are not getting permission from your parents. Is there anything happening at home that is making you want to leave? Our line is available 24/7, and we are anonymous and confidential at 1800runaway. It sounds like things might be tough at home and we are here to listen and work through options if that is something that you would like to do.

    You asked if there is a way to leave home without your parent’s permission at the age of 16 in Missouri. We want to let you know that we are not legal experts here, but from our understanding here at NRS, if you leave home without your parent’s permission it is considered running away. Running away is not illegal; it is a status offense which is most similar to a parking ticket. If your parents decide to make a runaway report, and the police find you, they will just bring you back home. However, anyone that you stay with could potentially be charged with harboring a runaway. Do you have a safe place in mind that you would go to when/if you were to leave home? We have a large database here of different resources, and that includes shelters. If you do leave home, we are here to help you stay safe and we can try to look up a local shelter in your area if you do not have a safe alternative place to stay.

    We are here to support you the best we can. If you would like to talk more about your situation or explore more options, please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat which is open every day from 4:30p to 11:30p CST and can be accessed here: http://www.nrschat.org:88/chat/UserP...&d=&u=&bypass=



    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/NRSOnlineServicesSurvey
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    Tell us what you think about your experience!

    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

    Comment


    • #17
      16, need to leave

      Hi! I'm 16 and live in Alabama. So, last year my family moved from Mississippi to Alabama to live with my grandparents, and the school I was put in was terrible, so I had my mom take me out for homeschool. But my home life sucks as well. My dad is a jerk. And my mom is crazy. Don't get me wrong, I know deep down inside my parents are good people, but I just can't take it anymore. My dad is so mean all the time. He is super immature about everything and I argue with him everyday. My mom is clinically depressed and has other problems so sometimes she's up and other times she just lays in bed all day. My dad had several failed back surgeries so to help with pain he gets medicine which my mom takes sometimes as well cause we barely have any money so we can't always afford her medicine. My parents are always fighting, I mean always! The amount of stress I had living in the same house as them was unbearable. Recently my sis moved to Alabama as well and I now am staying with her at her apt which is 10 mins away from my parents house. My sister doesn't have much money either, and she has a 4 yr old daughter which she practically just shoves on me to take care of 80% of the time. And still everyday I have to go back to my parents house to do my school work. My parents don't have good insurance so I don't ever get to go to the dentist and going to the doctor is only a thing if it's absolutely necessary. I visit mississippi often cause it's only an hour from my house in Alabama to mississippi, so i go on weekends sometimes. Recently one of my friends parents offered to take me in. They said they have an extra room and bed, and if my parents would give them legal rights, then they would be able to take care of me in the ways my parents haven't been able to. If I were able to move in with them then I would be able to go back to my old school! I would be able to go to the doctor or dentist if needed and not feel bad for asking to do so. I wouldn't have to worry about money. college would actually be an option and not just a dream. If I were able to move with them I wouldn't have to turn down any more amazing opportunities, like I have in the past because my parents couldn't afford them. I would actually be able to be taken care of. I wouldn't have to worry about eating. The problem is, is that I'm almost 100% positive my parents aren't going to agree with letting me go. Living with my sister was my mom saying yes and only because I would be at their house everyday. My dad said no and was and still is completely against it. It's really just a pride thing, and they are so selfish so they don't think of me or how it's going to affect me in the long run. They think about themselves. My mom just not wanting to let me go and my dad just wanting to do it because he can. They know they can't take care of me, but still won't think of my well being. I have two siblings that still live there so I don't want to get involved with social services or anything cause I know my parents love me and my siblings and I don't want them to get taken away. Well my brother is actually 18 and about to go to college, so it's really just my little sister who is 12. I couldn't live with myself if I knew I was the reason she was taken away from my parents. I say that like I'm sure, but I don't really know for sure that she would but I'm pretty positive. Neither of my parents work, and they live with my grandparents and can barely take care of us, so I'm just taking a guess. And even if she isn't taken away it will still cause severe problems for my parents, and will probably create tension in our relationship. I mean I don't really care about me and my dads relationship, not nearly as much as me and my moms, but she is so selfish and so is he and I can't take it. I have this amazing opportunity right in front of me and I really don't want to let them take it away from me like they have everything else. I just don't know what to do, and this stress is overwhelming. I think I'm becoming depressed or already am, and I know that staying here isn't what's best for me. I just don't know what to do or how to go about it. I haven't even brought up to my mom yet what my friends parents offered because I know she won't say yes and I'm just trying to hold on to a little hope for now cause it's all I have to get me through the day sometimes. I just really need some advice and have no one to turn too. I'm sorry that this was so long and thank you to whoever takes the time to read this and respond! <3

      Comment


      • #18
        RE: 16, need to leave

        Hi there,

        Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It was very brave of you to share with us here everything that is going on at home and in your life in general. It sounds like your home life is very difficult for you, and that your parents don't provide the best emotional or financial support in your opinion. That sounds like it must be very hard to deal with, and we're sorry to hear you're going through all of this.

        It sounds like you have some very supportive friends and friends' family to offer to help you out and take you in. It sounds like you don't think that your parents will allow you to leave home and move in with this friend and his/her family. Do you think it would help if you had someone to support you when you ask your parents for their permission to leave? One resource we offer here at NRS is something called conference calling. Through conference calling, a liner from NRS would be on the line to offer support to both you and your parents, and to help mediate this tough conversation. We can't convince them to let you go, but we can offer support. Would that be something that interests you? If so, please feel free to call us whenever you and your parents would be free and tell the person who answers that you'd like to do a conference call with your parents. Another option might be to leave without your parents' permission, but know that they can file a runaway report if you do so, and there can sometimes be consequences for the person(s) who take you in. We can discuss this and any other options with you, if you'd like.

        If you'd like to talk further, please feel free to call us anytime. We're available all day, every day, at the number below. We wish you the best of luck, and hope to hear from you soon!
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #19
          I'm 16 and wanting to leave/ move out of my parents house

          I'm 16 and I live in Alaska. I've wanted to move out for awhile and not up until the past 2 month have I really been trying to. I have a place to stay with close friends I guess you'd say my boyfriend and his family. His dad said he's help me because he knows a good amount of what's going on. I used to go back and worth between my moms and dads house until a conrtuction light got pulled onto my head ending with stitches. It was an accident but my step had ripped my ihome out of my hand that was connected to it and that's when I was done. I had been getting yelled and screamed out from my mom everyday. Crying everyday. Yes I had been grounded for smoking. So I understand why they are mad but its not getting any better. I'm living with my dad and the past month Ive been depressed. I can't leave the house not even for a walk. I've tried to talk to talk to my dad about moving away. I gave him a long note about how I'm feeling and everything and he basically brushed it off his shoulders. My parents both think I need help and have problems. When really I don't I'm like this because of them. They put so much stress onto me with everything and I just can't take it anymore. I need to get away or I'm not going to get "better" and neither seem to realize that even with me telling them it. I'm running out of options and I need to leave.. But I don't know how to actually go through with it

          Comment


          • #20
            RE: I'm 16 and wanting to leave/ move out of my parents house

            Hello,

            Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline and sharing with us some of your story. We are sorry to hear that neither home with your mom or your dad has been where you want to be. No one deserves to be somewhere where they are made to feel depressed because of how they re being treated. It must be nice to have your boyfriend and his family wanting to support you during this. They sound like amazing people and want to help you in any way that they can. Our only concern is that you are safe, we are not here to tell you what to do but to go over options that you think you might have.

            We are not legal experts, but we can speak in general terms on what could happen if you decided to leave without parental permission. Generally, you are not an adult until you turn 18. If you were to leave the house before then, your legal guardian would have the option of filing a runaway report. Running away is not a criminal offense, it is a status offense. This means that you cannot do it because of your age, not because it is against the law. If you are found then you will just be brought back home. However, anyone that you decide to stay with could be charged with harboring a runaway, which is a criminal offense and the severity of that is different in every state.

            You mentioned that you have tried to write a note to your dad but he did not take it seriously and brushed it off. It must have been a hard thing for you to do and have him react in that way. It takes a lot of courage and bravery to tell an adult, a parent, how you are feeling. Unfortunately it sounds like the note did not work. Another option you have is to reach out to a trusted adult, this could be in your boyfriend’s family or a best friend’s parents, and see if they can help mediate the conversation to make sure that you are being heard. If you do not feel like you have someone like that around, we have a conference call service here where you would call us and we would talk with you and then reach out to your dad and talk with him. Finally we would join the three conversations and have you guys talk and us there to support you.

            If you are feeling like leaving is something that you want to do and that is best for you, here are some things to think about

            -Do I have a place to stay?
            -What about school? Would I continue to get an education?
            -How would I support myself? Food? Money? Transportation?
            -Who can I depend on if I leave home?
            -Do I have a safe, solid plan?
            -If I was to run away, do I know someone who is willing to take the risk of harboring a runaway?
            -What would I do if things ever became unsafe for me?

            You also mentioned that you have been depressed for the past month and that no one is recognizing this. We are sorry to hear that you do not feel supported by your family. We would like to offer you a hotline that you can turn to for support when you are feeling depressed. It is the National Suicide Hotline at 1800-273-TALK, www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org . They are there for you to reach out to and talk about how you are feeling and what is going on.

            We hoped this helped and if you would like to discuss your situation in greater detail you can call us on our hotline or you can chat with us on our website. We look forward to hearing from you and we wish you the best of luck.

            NRS
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #21
              Re: I'm 16 and wanting to leave/ move out of my parents house

              I have a job getting paid 10.50 an hour and get 30-40 hours a week. My boyfriends house his dad has an extra room and its a safe place. Not that my dads house isn't safe I'm just not happy here. If I left the house but told my dad where I was going to live is it still considered a run away? And how much trouble could his dad get into for providing shelter for me? If I was reported as a run away which I'm almost 100% they would do because I went for a bike ride a week or so ago an my step mom freaked out saying she didn't know if I was coming home or what and shed have to report me as a runs way but said the cops wouldn't have came looking for me. If my parents came looking for me could they force me to come back? They know where I work so now I'm scared if I left they'd tell the cops I was at work and I that could make me loose my job. If the cops showed up at my work. Would they? And my boyfriend had said his sisters did years ago and the first day of school the cops had got them because they were reported as run aways and well yea. Would they just take me from school? Or would I be able to finish off the day and then have to be forced back to my dad house? I just have a lot of questions and all I want to do is just leave. My mom had moved out of her parents house when she was 16 to but it was after her junior year and I'm just now going to be a junior. We both have summer birthdays. Could I be sent to mckglofin for running away? My mom told me when I was with her if I left tue house shed call the cops report me and then when they picked me shed make me stay there for a while. But idk if it was just her trying to scare me. Please help me though I can't be so unhappy anymore isn't effecting my health and everything.

              Comment


              • #22
                re: Re: I'm 16 and wanting to leave/ move out of my parents house

                Hi,


                Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline for support. It sounds like you are going through a lot right now and have many questions, which is understandable. You said that you have a job, which is really good.


                We aren’t legal experts, and we can’t tell you exactly what would happen, but some general information we can give you is: running away isn’t a criminal offense which means that you typically wouldn’t go to jail for running away. If you were to run away, your parent(s) have the option of filing a runaway report. A runaway report is just a notification to the authorities that they didn’t give you permission to leave. This means that if you were to run away and you were picked by the police, for whatever reason, they would just return you home to your parents. Another thing you should be aware of is, if you were to leave and you were to stay with an adult, the adult that you are staying with could face criminal charges, which varies from state to state. An option you have to get more information on these laws and procedures, you could reach out to your local police department by calling their non-emergency number and asking some anonymous, general questions.
                You said that you have a job, which means that you would be able to provide for yourself if you were to leave. Somethings you could always think about when contemplating running away is:


                • Where would I live? Is it safe?
                • How would I get food? Clothes? Hygiene products?
                • Am I going to continue school? If so, how will I do that?
                • How would my parents react?


                The fact that you reached out to us and shared this is incredibly admirable. It seems like you have a really good head on your shoulders, which is really great. It’s reasonable that you aren’t sure how much longer you can stay at home, so if you would like some shelter resources, or even to talk through this in more depth, we encourage you to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are here 24/7 and would be happy to work through this with you more. Additionally, you can chat us online any day from 4:30pm-11:30pm at www.1800RUNAWAY.org.


                Best of luck,


                NRS
                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                National Runaway Safeline
                [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                Comment


                • #23
                  16 move out

                  Is it possible to move out of u have girlfriend that's 18 years or older?

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Re: 16 move out

                    Hi there,

                    Thanks for reaching out to us. We’re not legal experts unfortunately, but generally speaking if a minor (someone under the age of 1 leaves without legal guardian’s permission, legal guardian would have the right to make a runaway report. If a report is made, and the police find you they would just bring you back home typically. However, anyone that you stay with could potentially be charged for harboring. That charge would fall on the adult, someone 18 years or older.

                    Again, we are not legal experts so we would encourage you to either, contact your local law enforcement and ask hypothetical questions about your situation, or you can call us any time at 1800runaway and we can get you connected to local legal resources in your area.

                    Best of luck,
                    NRS
                    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                    National Runaway Safeline
                    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
                    Tell us what you think about your experience!

                    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      help

                      Question, I'm 16 and I'm really scared to be living at home, we have gotten into fights me and my mother. My dad has pushed me up agents the wall a few times. They scream and yell at me all the time for no reason I want out. I'm the only girl and I get treated like crap. I want out, I don't want my baby brother to get taken away or anything . they don't hate him like they hate me... Please I have a place to stay.. I'm hurting so much, I'm so lonely help.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Re: help

                        Hi there,

                        Thank you so much for reaching out to us. It sounds like you are going through a pretty tough situation and we’re glad that you found us, we’re here to support you in any way that we can.

                        It sounds like things with your dad and mom have been pretty bad lately. You don’t deserve to be pushed up against the wall or feeling unsafe in your own home. We just want to remind you that you do have the right to report this type of behavior to the police or Child Protective Services, although it sounds like that is not something you want to do at this time. This will never stop being an option for you if you change your mind. It sounds like you are concerned about your younger brother being taken away, which is a valid concern. We are not experts so we cannot say for sure what would or would not happen, but generally speaking, removing a child from the home is the last resort. CPS will often try to intervene in any other way that they can to make sure every other possible measure has been taken before this.

                        It sounds like you have a safe place to stay if you leave home, which is really good to hear. It is important to have a stable support system, especially when things are this difficult at home. We’re not legal experts, but generally if a minor leaves without consent from legal guardians, they would have the right to make a runaway report. If a report is made, and the police find you they typically would just bring you back home. However, anyone that you stay with could potentially be charged for harboring.

                        We’re here to help work through all possible options with you, and help make up a plan. We’re here 24/7 to support you, listen and provide any resources that you feel may be helpful. Please do not hesitate to call or chat.

                        Stay safe,
                        NRS
                        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                        National Runaway Safeline
                        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
                        Tell us what you think about your experience!

                        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          move out the house

                          Iam 30: I want to move out but iam on the disability and when try to move out my mother treat me if a move she will call to the police. But I said to her that I moving out with a friend she will not let me to move out what can I do on this case.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            re: move out of the house

                            Hello,

                            You mentioned that you are an adult, having problems with your mom letting you move out of the house. We understand this must be frustrating and stressful for you. Here at NRS we are primarily a youth crisis organization, so we don't have a lot of information specifically for adults in your situation. You mentioned that you are on disability, so with that it sounds like you may want to check into some legal aid options to see if they can help. There may be some other pieces you would need in order to move, specifically if your mom has control of your money. We aren't legal experts, but usually if an adult wants to move out, they would have the right to do so.

                            We do wish that we could help. Hopefully you can get these things sorted out, and we wish you the best of luck with this.

                            Take care,

                            NRS
                            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                            National Runaway Safeline
                            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                            Tell us what you think about your experience!
                            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Re: 16 and wanting to move out but there are other problems

                              "ok im 16 and i live in michigan i want to move out but my parents do not aprove of me leaveing, i have a job, a car, a place to stay and can support myself basicly. my paents arnt bad people or they dont abuse me or anything but ever scince my little cusin has came up here from florida to live with us( me , little brother, little sister, and mom and dad) becuase my ant died. well ever scince he came up here stress levels have gone sky high, parents snaps at little things, mom drinks more and both my parents smoke pot but i dont want my parents to get in truble so i dont want the get the law involed or hurt anyone else or get my siblings taken away, and also i dont have the best record about a half year after my cusin got here i got busted sellin vicoden i never got charged or anything but it did go thur the system and i dont want that to interfear with me leaving. I always feel in the way or a pain and never want to be home because of that and i deal with akot of stress here,
                              ther place i would move into is around the corner from my parent so its not very far but it gives me my space. what do u guys think is there any way i could get in truble or have the past brought back on me, i know i could call protective services and just go but i dont want to do that"

                              That is the same with me but I don't have a job or a car or even my license because they won't teach me and I have somewhere to stay and I'm supposed to be graduating high school in 2020 but I'll be 18 before I graduate but they say I have to still live there by their rules I hate it because I mean I am kinda old to make my own decision I mean I'll be 17 in 9 months and I mean they won't let me make any of my decision and it makes me mad and my brother and I sometimes get into fights and I mean when he's mad at me he spells at the word hoe and they don't do anything about only tell him to stop that's it and he hits me like really bad and calls me names when he's in a bad mood takes it out on me and I just hate it

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Re: Re: 16 and wanting to move out but there are other problems

                                Hello there,

                                Thanks for reaching out today. It sounds like you having a really hard time at home with your parents not letting you make decisions and your brother being really mean towards you. That sounds really frustrating. It is not okay that your brother calls you names and hits you.

                                You mentioned that when your brother hits you it is really bad. If you feel like you are in immediate danger, you can always call 911. You might be able to call child protective services on him if you are interested in doing so. If you are have questions about reporting, Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453, are child advocates who can help answer your questions.

                                The easiest way to leave your house is with parental permission. It sounds like that might be a difficult option for you, because they don’t let you make decisions. Are there any other family members around that you think they would be okay with you living with? If so, is there any way they can help you talk to your parents about moving? The other way you can leave your house at 16 is through the emancipation process. That can be a timely and costly court process where you have to proof that you are financially self-sufficient. So the first step to emancipation would be for you to somehow obtain a job. Again, this sounds like it could be difficult for you without a car or permission.

                                We strongly encourage you to call or chat with us if you would like to talk through your situation and help with brainstorming your options. We can also provide local resources like legal aid, family counseling services, or youth shelters if you are interested in those.

                                Best wishes,

                                NRS
                                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                                National Runaway Safeline
                                [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                                Comment

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