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18 year old runaway

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  • #61
    hi, i'm an 18 year old girl and i live in arizona. my whole life i have been emotionally abused and i used to be physically abused. my parents are middle eastern, everytime i try to talk to them or show emotions to make it obvious that what they are doing is upsetting me they call me crazy or mental. i go to a community college and i don't have much money saved up. my parents are very strict and treat me like i'm 10 and they don't let me spread my wings. i have been in a relationship for almost 2 years and i love him and he loves me back, he has his own apartment and i am always welcomed, i don't have a car my parents sold it when i got a bad grade, i can't take this anymore , i have chronic anxiety and have been diagnosed with depression when i was 13. i'm scared the longer i stay here i won't be alive to see next year, i just want some advice and everytime i try to leave i get frozen and end up coming home because i'm scared of the consequences, please help

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline. We are very sorry to hear that you have been emotionally and physically abused by your parents. Abuse is never okay, and you don’t deserve to be treated that way. The National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) is a safe place for you to contact if you would like to discuss the abuse.

      You mentioned that you want to leave home, in the state of Arizona 18 year old’s are considered adults. Your parents cannot keep you at home. If you decide to leave, there would be no legal consequences since you are and adult. If your parents refuse to allow you to leave home, you could contact the police.
      If you have any questions or would like to discuss more about moving out, please feel free to contacxt us directly, our crisis hotline is 24 hours (1-800-786-2929), we can also be reached via email or live chat. We hope that this information helps, please be safe.

  • #62
    So, I am 18 years old and I am currently living with a friend. I fell I am safe but my parents do not. They keep telling me that they will call the cops. I don't want to go home because I need a break. I am legally old enough to move out. Should I just call the cops and tell them I m okay or wait because at this moment, I don't have any of my belongings that I need.

    Comment


    • ccsmod7
      ccsmod7 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello there, thanks for reaching out today.

      Sounds like you are living with a friend and your parents are threatening to call cops to force you to come back home. That seems really frustrating because you are right, 18 years old is usually the legal age your can move out. Most states' majority age is 18; however there are a couple states with older majority ages such as Alabama, Mississippi, and Nebraska. You might double check your state's majority age by googling it or calling us here at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

      If 18 is the majority age in your state, you can legally move out without permission. If your parents attempt to get police involved, they would not take a runaway report for you or force you back home. If your state's majority age is over 18 or if you just want to be safe, you can reach out to your local non-emergency police department and ask questions about your situation to see how police would respond.

      Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you want to talk more about your situation. It seems like you are in-between calling out to police or waiting it out. We are non-directive, confidential, and non-judgmental so we can talk over your situation so you can make the most informed decision that is best for you.

      Best of luck to you,

      NRS

  • #63
    Hey Im 18 years old and my parents don't t let me go anywhere I never felt freedom and I always been planning to run Away but I'm scared because I think that the cops will take me back home and I don't want that what age can you run away

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes courage to seek help. We are very sorry to hear that your parents don't give you much freedom. In most states, once a person turns 18 they are considered adults. As an adult you have the right to leave home without your parent's permission. You could try asking a family member or close friend if they would allow you to stay with them. If you need help finding a safe place to stay, we could look up local resources such as youth shelters or transitional living programs. If you have any other questions or just want to talk, please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat.



      We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: We care what you think

  • #64
    Hey, Im 18 and live in Vegas Nevada. Right now in my house it's the worst. Especially with my dad, I have no relationship with him. For him nothing that I do is ever enough for him. I play in his band as well, and he always says that I'm the worst and terrible. He goes off saying I'm irresponsible and never practice. Hurts me alot because I try and try and nothing is ever enough for him. I want to leave the house with my boyfriend and get a job as soon as possible. Will it be any act of crime if I left my house and live with him and his family? I just can't stand me dad bringing me down. Nothing is ever enough for him to make him happy and to congratulate me. Ever. I don't even remember the last time he was proud of me...

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand that it takes courage to seek help. It sounds like you aren't happy at home. We are very sorry to hear about the way your dad has been treating you. You don't deserve to be treated that way. In the state of Nevada, once a person turns 18 they are considered adults. As an adult you have the right to leave home without parental consent. We hope that this information helps, if you have any other questions or just want to talk please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat.

  • #65
    Hello I am 17 and live in Kansas I will be 18 in a month and 16 days on November 8th and I have had a hell of a life...... My mother was born with 3 holes in her heart and scoliosis as a miraculous birth defect and she would smoke to ease the scoliosis pain and that in turn caused lung issues which thus made her heath so much worse.....My biological Father has never been in my life and from what my mother has told me about him in the past was that he was a druggie and just a bad person and that she left him when I was young...... I've only seen my biological father 3 or 4 times my whole life and when I was about 3 or 4 my mother got married to my step father and for a while he was great he was the father a girl like me always dreamed of..... but when I turned 10 things took a turn....... he took advantage of me for the first time when I was 10 years old and stopped for two years and it picked back up when I turned 12 and continued from when I was twelve to about a two weeks before my 17th birthday...... on a fairly frequent basis......and with my mother her medical condition caused her to be really verbally and physically abusive because she didn't get enough oxygenation to her brain to think properly and as time has went on over the years her health like with any medical condition just gets worse and worse......... and for instance that first night that my step father took advantage of me it was because I had done something wrong and my mother got mad at me and my mother wasn't just rude and cruel to me she was rude and cruel to my step father as well calling us names almost on the daily...... she wanted to make us feel just as miserable as she did....... and that night my mother was arguing with my step father saying that he never displined me that he was weak etc........ and ig him doing that was his way of displining me that night but also as time went on I kinda found out the truth as to why he did it...... anyway on October 24th 2018 I was video chatting an online friend and my step father came into my room while my mother was in the shower like he did a lot in the past and I knew what he was wanting but that day I have came home from a band competition and I was tired and I just wasn't having it....but he was persistent that night and I thought I had ended the video chat but I didn't and I think you can get the just my online friend screen recorded it and sent it to Child Protective Services and two days later began the blow up that would change my life........ Two days later CPS came to the house on a no school day it was just me and my mother and they came and I immediately knew when I saw their car what was going on.......... and they of course asked us a bunch of questions and my mother was in shock because she had no idea........ and my mother ended up calling my step father and he even knew what was going down and he came home as fast as he could and tried packing some of his stuff he wasn't thinking straight and he was gonna try going to his brothers house till he could figure out what to do but on the 27th at 4:30 pm he turned himself in and the police talked to me and things just blew up from there........ it's been almost a year now........ and on top of all that growing up just the normal struggles of being a teenage girl growing up where girls and boys are cruel, having to deal with the stereotypes, and so on and so forth........over the summer on like August 6th I met my current boyfriend and in my past and because of my past I was very slutty and had many many past bad relationships with guys and my heart was padlocked up and there was just something about my current boyfriend that allowed him to break through........ he was real........ he was there for me........ he understands me...... and wants to help me get out of the toxicness...... he is a grade lower then me but it suprisingly smarter then my lol...... and I've met him in person and he lives in Kansas as well and I've met his family and such and he's met my family even though that didn't go well yesterday........ but anyway....... since I will be 18 soon I have been looking forward to the day I turned 18 for years........ because then I could finally be free....... be happy........ move on..........and my boyfriends mother invited me to stay with her and my boyfriends family out of her own caring because my boyfriend has had more failed relationships then I have because he cares too much and cares too hard and many many people just take advantage of that but I don't and she just offered....... because my boyfriend is really close with his mother and she just wanted to help me and help him........ and I just...... I want to hear it from someone else how things would work specifically with my belongings because I have thought out the situation pretty well...... Since I am still a senior in high school I would finish off my remaining credits online with my boyfriend...... I would get a job at the Pizza Hut that he works at and his father runs...... and it would just be a more positive environment...... it would allow me to actually heal and get over all of the bs that has happened in my life........ My whole life I've put others first but now it's my turn........ it's time for me to think of myself........ and better myself......... legally my mother has to give me my birth certificate and social security number correct? My family cannot take anything of mine they did not buy? I will not get sent back because I will be of age? With my clothes am I able to take my clothes? I have my license I can drive any vehicle........ After I'm 18 I can call the cops if they try to bug me in any way if I don't want the contact with them? My family is just trying to manipulate me into staying in this hell hold and I just want confirmation that I got ******** figured out............ I just wanna be happy....... move on with my life........ no more pain....... or crying all the time.........I wanna be free.......

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi, thank you for reaching out to us; we are glad that you did. You have been very brave and have had the tremendous courage to survive everything that you have been through. We are very glad that CPS intervened and that step father can’t hurt you anymore. We want you to know that you did not deserve anything that has happened to you. You did not deserve to be taken advantage of by him or anyone else. We do hope that you will be able to get counseling or talk to a therapist to help you to begin the healing from all these years of abuse that you have survived. You deserve to live a life free from the pain that he caused and with therapy you will be able to have healthy relationships that are not based on anything physical you don’t want to give. Your body and mind your own and no one has the right to mistreat you in any way. It will take time to process what you have been through and to heal.
      We can search for mental health resources in your area, or you can search for a referral for yourself through www.nami.org Getting away from him and your mom is an excellent beginning to the life that you envision for yourself – and it’s a life that you deserve where you are treated with love and respect.
      In answer to your questions, we aren’t legal experts, and we can’t predict what will happen in reality, but if you were to leave before 18 and your mom files a runaway report with the local police, they may or may not look for you. The closer a youth is to 18, it is often the case that police don’t bother to search. That is not a guarantee, it is only a reasonable possibility. It is not illegal for you to leave without permission, you wouldn’t be criminally charged, just the possibility of being returned to you mom.
      If your mom won’t freely give you your documents, you can request them before you go; maybe with your valid school ID. The agency where you can request your birth certificate birth certificate would likely be the county that you were born in. With that, you can contact the Social Security Administration for a replacement card. A internet search for each of these places will help you figure out the documents you need to get the replacements. If you are worried that you mom will charge you with theft, being wise about the things that you take with you will help you to avoid unwanted trouble, but used clothes of ordinary people don’t have much value, so it’s not likely that you’d be charged with anything.
      We are here for you to discuss this further in a way where we can have a conversation. You can contact us either by phone at 1-800-786-2929 (1-800-RUNAWAY) or via live chat through the website www.1800runaway.org We are here for you 24/7 to listen and to help.
      We hope this helps and that we might hear from you soon.
      Sincerely, NRS

  • #66
    Hello, I’m 18 years old and thinking about leaving home. I really want to. I have money, a place to stay, and transportation. But I’m scared that this isn’t the right choice. My mom isn’t abusive or anything, she is just very overprotective of me and I guess holds me up to a standard that is not who I am. I feel like staying in Florida is really stopping me from growing. I was sexually abused by a classmate earlier in the year, and everyone at school is ALWAYS talking about it. It sucks because I still have to see him. I took legal action and things are being investigated now but even then every thing is really heavy on me. I miss talking to people who didn’t bring it up all the time. I have enough money to come back to Florida if I need to go to court or anything. So yeah I want to leave!! One thing that is stopping me from wanting to go is my older sis. She was diagnosed with lupus and it’s been really hard for her. She always tells me that I help her forget about it. I love her so much and I don’t wanna leave her in a time like this. I also am not planning on going to college but my mom and sister won’t let that be an option. I feel like it’s the best thing for me. I don’t wanna waste my mom’s money, and I don’t even know what I even like to do! I wanna leave so I can learn about who I really am

    Comment


    • ccsmod6
      ccsmod6 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’ve been through so much this year and it’s understandable that you want to get away from all the things that are weighing you down.

      As an 18 year old in Florida, no one can stop you from leaving or make the police return you home, so if you feel like that is the right decision then you can go for it. Though, that does not seem to be what is causing you to hesitate. It’s very clear that you care a great deal about your family and there are a few reasons you don’t want to leave them right now. In terms of making peace with those feelings, it may be a good idea to talk directly to your sister about where your head is at. Maybe she will be more accepting of what you want to do with life than you expect and that might put your heart at ease leaving. Either way, if your sister is the one thing stopping you from wanting to go then it would probably be best to hash that out between the two of you instead of trying to guess what she needs/wants on your own.

      In terms of college, taking a gap or not going at all are perfectly normal ways to approach life. If you feel like college is not right for you, then why go? However, we would encourage you not to underestimate what you can find there, about the world and yourself, which may coincide with your desire for self-discovery. College can present an opportunity to explore many different interests and people including yourself but that opportunity can definitely be overwhelming and unmanageable for or even straight up not appealing to some.

      It’s hard to address these complex issues you’re struggling with in a single forum post, but we hope we’ve provided some things to think about that may make your path forward a little more straightforward and true to you. If you want to talk at greater length about what you’re going through, please don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

      Take care,
      NRS

  • #67
    I have a 18 yrs with special needs and he runs away is there any2i can do

    Comment


    • ccsmod6
      ccsmod6 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. In all states except Nebraska (19), Alabama (19), and Mississippi (21), the age of majority is 18. This typically means that when a youth turns 18, they are granted all the rights of an adult in the state including living where they want to. That being said, there are some cases where parents can extend guardianship over youths for various reasons including disabilities or psychiatric issues past the age of 18. You can always call the police to report if the youth is in danger and you can ask them to do a wellness or safety check if you believe they are in danger. But, unless measures were taken to extend guardianship past 18, they may not have the authority to move him anywhere unless he is doing something illegal. If you have any more questions or would like to talk in greater detail about your situation, please don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

      Take care,
      NRS

  • #68
    18 year old, contained

    Hello. I am 18 years old living in Florida. My life's been one of a rough time, but above all now I'm seriously starting to consider that running away is my best option. It's not that I'm mistreated, or abused, or anything of the sort. It's just that my guardians don't seem to realize how my life works, and that they cannot control it.
    I wasn't born and raised into this family. I was born to an alcoholic and drug addicted mother and a father who accepted his mistake. Through the court case, my mother was barred from seeing me or having any part in my life. Since my father had to work, I stayed at home with my grandmother. She was kind and lenient, and I grew up okay, I think. I got sort of chubby and an idiot, but the kind that wasn't exactly dumb. I excelled in school, and that was fine by m. My teachers sort of praised me, but my parents never did. This perfection became the standard of my entire life. Throughout middle school I was beginning to be integrated into advanced classes. Stuff too hard. I began getting stressed out, and usually turned to gaming to solve my issues. When that didn't help, and neither did the studying, at age 12 I became suicidal. My father and step mother placed me in a hospital so that I wouldn't kill myself, and the night that I was left there I learned how it felt to cry myself to sleep. It sucks.
    After one week I was released, feeling happy to return to my parents, but still there was a general feeling of worry. Yeah, I felt sort of done with life, but nothing really improved. That's when ******** hit the fan. One morning, it was early and I heard my little step-brother going to wake up my dad and step mom. I guided him back into his room, for all I can remember, and went back into my room, despite his cries of denial. Yeah, when my parents got up to check on him, he had red markings all over him. The immediate suspicion was that I beat him., To this day, I swear to you I never laid a hand on my step brother. However, no one believed me. Even later on when I visited, my little brother TOLD me that he knew I didn't beat him.
    Anyway, in fear for general safety I was shipped off to Florida to live with my Aunt, Uncle, and three old er cousins. My Aunt is the dictator but with her words type, and I was under full lockdown. My Uncle never has and never will accept me, treating me as the most infuriating thing ever, which I guess I can be sometimes. for many years I dealt with it. I even took the entrance exam to International Baccalaureate and got in, not that I really wanted to, but it wasn't my decision. The years of stress and agony and sheer anger that I have endured with this supportive, anti-trusting family has finally gotten to me.
    The main problem is I have no clue where I would go. I know a few friends who would spot me a night, but my relationship status with most people are sort of screwed up. I have an ex who I am friends with, but I don't know if she would open her house up to me. I have my resume ready to take any job I can while I try and get myself propped up on my feet, and I already have a car, although it does have an oil leak. It won't last much longer. What I don't know is how I'll live. I have some culinary skill, so I wouldn't starve, but when it comes to clothing and laundry and dental hygiene, I can't just do that out of the back of my car.
    So I turn to this board. What's my next move? I don't have much, but I have enough to leave. I can't talk to my family, I can't talk to friends, and no one else will believe a word I say. So, what now? Do I leave and finish up school living in whichever friend's house I can be accepted to, making sure that I leave before their parents can get me caught, and on nights when there is nowhere to go I just sleep in my car? Or is thee somewhere else I can go?

    Comment


    • ccsmod10
      ccsmod10 commented
      Editing a comment
      Since you are 18 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can.
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