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what's the best way to get out

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  • what's the best way to get out

    I'm gonna be16 in January and my family recently moved in with my grandparents . My parents are divorced because my dad would watch teen porn and get ideas for my mother to do and she wasn't ok with that but still live together as housemates because paperwork went wrong with my mother's name and my grandparents forgot they were divorced when they took us in now that that has been cleared up my grandpa who has cheated on my grandma with various women for many years was pushing on my mother trying to hint at perverted things and my mother is going to leave sometime this month unexpectedly because she's uncomfortable . After that my older brother is going to leave unexpectedly as well but he will be turning 18 soon and I will be stuck being the only girl at this house besides my grandma with a perverted grandpa and my father who is a bit schizophrenic and snaps randomly . He was in an insane asylum for three days I believe and was supposed to take tests to be diagnosed but he never went back because he didn't want any medication or to be officially diagnosed and he is a very strong man I need to get out because there are many reasons I will no longer be safe in this house but I need to be able to leave quickly because I know they will be furious and search and I CANNOT be dragged back. I've been made to do things by my oldest brother and I have never told any family about it and I will NOT be kept in a house of pervs by myself where I'm not allowed to even lock my door at night PLEASEE HELP

  • #2
    Re: what's the best way to get out

    Hi,

    Thanks for contacting us, it sounds like you are in a really intense situation right now, and you definitely deserve to be living in a place where you feel safe, which sounds like is not at home. However, it seems like you are handling this scary situation really well, and with a lot of maturity.

    You mentioned that your mom is going to be leaving the house really soon, do you think that it would be possible to go with her? It seems like you two are feeling a similar amount of anxiety living in the house with your father and grandfather, so she could probably understand your fear of being left there. If that’s not an option, do you think she would be ok with you going to stay with a friend or other family member who you would feel more comfortable with? Even though you are under 18, if your guardian were to give you permission to live with someone, then you wouldn’t really be a runaway.

    Another option for you could be going to a youth shelter, which is usually a temporary placement, or finding a more long-term transitional living program. If that is something you are interested in, you can call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or live chat with us on our website, www.1800runaway.org, 4:30pm-11:30pm, and we can see what kind of shelters and programs are available in your area, and even contact some of them with you, if that’s something you don’t want to do on your own.

    You did mention that if you do leave it will be quickly, so you can definitely contact these shelters so that you know about the intake process and requirements before you have to leave. There is also a really great resource called Safe Place, this allows you to go to a safe place location in your area and tell them that you need shelter, the worker there will then call a social worker to come talk with you and bring you to a shelter. Safe places can be 7/11’s, libraries, fire stations… and you can find the one nearest you by texting “safe” and your current location (address/city/state) to 69866, and you will get a message back with the address of where you can go and get help. You can always call us as well, if for some reason that number doesn’t work, or you need other resources.

    Along with trying to have options available for if you need to leave quickly, it may be helpful to have a bag packed with some clothes and all your essentials in case the situation gets too intense, as well as a plan for transportation – such as making sure you have fare for public transit, or asking a friend or other family member if they would be able to pick you up if you found yourself in a crisis situation.

    Lastly, just to make really clear, you don’t deserve to live in a place where you feel so unsafe and like you have no way to protect yourself, and you can always call the police if you feel like your safety is threatened. It sounds like you have been really brave throughout this whole situation, but it’s not something you should have to deal with by yourself. Feel free to call us at 1800runaway or chat with us at 1800runaway.org from 4:30pm to 11:30pm CST.

    Good luck and stay safe,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    Tell us what you think about your experience!

    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

    Comment


    • #3
      First if all thanks for the guidance and no I can't go with my mom she doesn't exactly know where she's going either but she knows I plan on leaving and she supports it because she knows what's going on but my parents are divorced and the court gave them 50/50 . I know my mom would allow me to live with my boyfriend and his family but my dad wouldn't let me and my grandparents would push him to bring me back home if they knew I was there so how would I go about that

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Re: what's the best way to get out

        Hi there,

        Thanks for reaching out to us again and we’re sorry you’re having to deal with all of this, you definitely don’t deserve this. It sounds like you’re kind of asking how you can go about staying with your boyfriend and in terms of this question, usually with split custody things can get a bit more complicated. Unfortunately we are not legal experts so we can’t tell you exactly what’s going to happen or what you are allowed to do but if you are able to call in or chat us we can provide you with some legal aid services to help address this questions further.

        Again, we’re so sorry you’re having to go through this and we’re always here as well if you just want to talk or explore other options. You can reach us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat us at www.1800runaway.org during the hours of 4:30-11:30 pm CST.

        Best of luck,
        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
        Tell us what you think about your experience!

        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

        Comment

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