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Living with a friend at 17

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  • Living with a friend at 17

    My house isn't a safe place for me to live. I live with my younger brother and sister, my mom, and my sisters father. My sisters father had been raping me since my mom got with him when I was about 3. I told a friend last year, and she called cps, but they didn't do anything. My mom let him stay, and it's been 6 months, and I really can't keep living here. I turn 18 in March, so I can't legally move out yet. I was speaking with my case manager, and she was telling me if I wanted to stay with a friend for awhile she'd support that. I've talked to my mom, but she's not doing anything. So, I spoke with my friend, and she asked her mother if it was okay if I stayed at her place. Her only concern was if I did stay with them, would they be harboring a minor? Her parents wanted to speak with my case manager to make sure they wouldn't get into legal troubles. My plan is to speak with my case manager, let my friend's parents think about it more, and then when we have a safety plan set, go to my mom. I plan to tell her that I want my sister's dad out of the house, and I'll be staying with my friend until he finds a place to live, if not, I'll be staying there until I'm 18 and can move out on my own. Is that a good plan, and can I legally do that? My case manager also wants me to get a part-time job and we spoke about me getting a waitress job so I can save the pay check for my own place, and still have tips if I need money. I want to move on, and being away from him is the only way to do it, and getting a job and moving out will also help me with becoming an independent adult. I'm afraid I'll just seem like a broody teenager or that I'll be told to just deal with it until I'm 18, but March is a long ways away.

  • #2
    RE: Living with a friend at 17


    Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline and sharing with us some of your story. We are so sorry to hear of your living situation, no one deserve to be in a place where their personal space in invaded like that. You have reached out, and we think that is a great step.

    We are not legal experts, but we can speak in general terms. 17 is a gray area in most states and the police department act differently depending on your city and state. Generally running away is not a criminal offense, unless you are currently on probation, it is a status offense. If your mother files a runaway report, it depends on your local police department how they will respond. Some departments may not force you to return because you are 17 and close to being 18. It all depends, so we suggest that you call your local police department and ask them how they would handle a 17 year old runaway from an abused home.

    You mentioned that you have a place, we think that is fantastic that you are trying to plan ahead for what comes next. At your friend’s house it sounds like you have a safe place to stay. One thing to consider, is that if your mom files a runaway report, and the police were to find you (assuming they know where your friend lives) your mom may have the option to charge who you stay with with harboring a runaway. It all depends on if you mom files a runaway report and how the police would handle your situation. We encourage you to call your local police department to get better answers.

    It sounds like you have the support of your case worker and your friend. We encourage you to seek support through them. This is a big change for you and we are happy that you have them for support.
    We hoped this helped, and if you ever want to discuss your situation in more detail call us at 18007862929 anytime we are 24/7, or you can chat with us from 4:30-11:30pm CST every day. We wish you luck and hoped this helped.

    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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