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Can my 17 year old girlfriend live with me without parental consent?

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  • #46
    Im 20 and my girlfriend is 17 and will be turning 18 in April who we both live in NC but her mom wants to move and forces her hand with everything. I dont want her to move away and to just come live with me. She doesnt want to move away and is very unhappy with how shes treated. Is there anyway around the Mancipation rule since shes so close to turning of legal age?

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      We're sorry to hear you're worried about your girlfriend moving. Unfortunately, the only way for her to come live with you is if she had her guardians' permission. If she leaves home before turning 18, her parents could file a runaway report, and if she is staying with you, you could be charged with harboring a runaway. We can tell you generally what we know about the emancipation process. You can pass this information on to her.

      We are not legal experts, but we can help you get a general sense of how emancipation works. Our general understanding is some states offer formal emancipation statutes while others do not unfortunately. Laws vary depending on your location, but in many states a minor can petition the court for emancipation to take responsibility for their own care before they turn 18. Generally speaking, courts are wary about granting emancipation. In most cases, you would have to prove in court that you have an income and can care for yourself financially, and that you are able to live separately from your parents. It also helps to be in good standing at school. The court will also factor in the mental and physical welfare of your parents in order to establish your best interest. Usually your legal guardian would have to agree to this in court. Once you are emancipated, you can legally choose where you live, but you might still find that you cannot sign a lease or build credit until you turn 18. The emancipation process can take several months or up to a year, and may cost money in the form of court fees and other expenses. Usually, the best way to learn about emancipation in your state is to contact a lawyer. You may also find information at your county family court. We can look up legal aid resources that may be able to help you with the process. Please do not hesitate to call or chat if you have questions, need legal resources, or need to talk.

      Best of luck,
      NRS

  • #47
    Ok well I am 17 and already considered a run away because I ran off with my boyfriend who is 18.So I'm wondering if I run off with him again and my parents call in the police department could he go to jail?Could I get into trouble?

    Comment


    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for taking the time to reach out to NRS and for sharing a bit about your situation. Asking for help was really responsible and smart of you.

      Generally speaking, if you leave home without permission your parents can report you as a runaway to the police. Running away is not illegal, but it is a status offense. This means that if your parents know where you are staying then they can have the police return you home. There is a possibility that your boyfriend could be charged with harboring a runaway which is usually a misdemeanor and not very common. Runaway and harboring protocols can vary by state and police department. Some police departments do not pursue runaway reports for someone who is so close to 18. If this is the case for your area then police would likely not intervene if you left home. You can call your local police department's non-emergency number to anonymously ask about their policies.

      We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible at 1-800-786-2929 and through live chat at 1800runaway.org. Please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone or chat if you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation and explore your options.

  • #48
    im 17 and my parents told me i can go and live with my boyfriends parents since they dont support me dating at all, his parents want me to date him and are willing to take me in. but im scared on when i leave the house they will purposely mark me as i run away, im 6 months into turning 18, what should i do, because if i continue to live with them i can barely see my boyfriend?

    Comment


    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks for taking the time to write us here at NRS. It can certainly be stressful at home when the adults in the household are not supportive. Doing your own research while thinking about the decision to leave is really responsible and resourceful!

      Even if you have permission to leave, you are right that your mom can still report you as a runaway to the police. Running away is not illegal, but it is a status offense. While you would not get into any legal trouble, their is a possibility that your mom can have the police return you home. While there is some risk of being returned home, some police departments might be more lenient and not force you to go back home since you are so close to turning 18. It is hard to say for sure what would happen in your situation since it can vary by police department and even individual officer discretion.

      Having a solid plan about what you are planning on doing it might be helpful so that you can think about what is manageable for you and what isn't. Taking into consideration parts of your plan might be a good idea to think about what the best decision for you is(are you planning on staying their long-term, what's your role in the house, are you going to be working/going to school, will you be paying your share of the bills/rent, what happens if you eventually decide you can't or don't want to live there and they kick you out). Leaving can be a big decision to make and we want to make sure you are as safe as possible.

      We truly want to be a support for you as you decide on your next steps. We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. Please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone or chat if you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation and explore your options. You can contact us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.

      We wish you the best,
      NRS

  • #49
    I want to move in with my 21 year old boyfriend and I am 17. My parents and his parents gave us permission to buy we wanted to know if this would be legal. Would it be legal for me to move in with my 21 year old boyfriend while I am 17 since we have parental permission ? We would be living with some of my boyfriends family. We would not be living alone just us two. My mom and dad have spent countless years knowing my boyfriends family as well.

    Comment


    • ccsmod6
      ccsmod6 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thanks for reaching out to NRS and sharing your situation. It sounds like you’ve given this a fair amount of thought, and it’s great that you’re seeking additional information and support.

      While we at NRS are not legal experts, we can speak generally about this issue. From our understanding, in most states, a youth is considered an adult when they turn 18. Before the legal age of majority, youth are expected to live under the custody of their parents/legal guardians. Adults who harbor a minor who has runaway from home without their parents’ permission can sometimes get into legal trouble if parents file a runaway report and involve the police. However, since your parents have granted permission, this seems less likely.

      Before you make a decision, it might be helpful to have a conversation with your parents about the expectations they would have for you while living with your boyfriend’s family. We at NRS can help to facilitate an open dialogue through our conference line service, which you can initiate by calling our 24/7 line at 1-800-RUNAWAY. It may be helpful to check in with your boyfriend’s family as well, to ensure that they are on the same page about things like how long you’ll be living there, any responsibilities they expect of you, or rules in the house. We don’t want to make any assumptions, but you may also want to learn more about the laws in your state around the age of consent. The website Sex in the States can offer state-specific information about your rights as a 17-year old, you can check it out here. https://sexetc.org/action-center/sex-in-the-states/

      We hope this helped and if you would like to discuss your situation in greater detail you can give us a call on our hotline or chat with us on our website. We look forward to hearing from you and we wish you the best of luck.
      -NRS

  • #50
    Hello,I live in Wa.state, my daughter (1 has asked if her boyfriend (17) could stay with me. He lives in Kansas. Both his parents are given the ok with this. We all verbally agree he has a better life/chance to become better here then there.. My question is, can he get work here being 17 and living with me? Or even go to school? Then theirs in case of a medical emergency too? What do I need to do to make this work legally? I have his parents support 100%. Any info would be so appreciated..

    Comment


    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,

      Thank you for taking the time to write us here at the National Runaway Safeline. While we are not legal experts by any means, we can answer your questions with the general information we have regarding your concerns.

      Since he is 17 years old this young person is still considered a minor, and he might need guardian consent depending on the state policies for things like obtaining a work permit, consenting to medical care, and being enrolled in school. His parents can sign a notarized document giving you temporary guardianship rights which would give you the ability to act as his guardian. Sometimes this is also known as giving the power of attorney for a minor. This is a way for parents/guardians to formally give their permission for their child to live with another adult in a safe place. Temporary guardianship does not generally need to be approved by the courts, as it is simply a way for his parents to formally document their permission and consent for you to act as his guardian. Temporary guardianship is set by parents for a specific amount of time up to 6 months which can be renewed if needed or rescinded by parents at any time. The young person, his parents, and you would all sign this agreement detailing the set amount of time and the rights that his parents are giving to you as the temporary guardian which would then need to be notarized.

      We hope this information helps. If you have further questions or concerns regarding this young person, please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at 1800runaway.org.

      We wish you the best,
      NRS

  • #51
    Im 14 in the state of maryland, do i have to get parental consent to leave? my mom kicks me out a lot and right now im living with my uncle but he says if i leave and go live with my big brother, i cant come back and my abusive father will come get me. what can i do?

    Comment


    • ccsmod5
      ccsmod5 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      Thanks for reaching out today and posting on our forum. We are here to help in any way we are able to, you’re not alone in this. It was brave of you to reach out for help.

      It sounds like you’re going through a lot of pain at home. You never deserve to be abused or neglected. It’s wrong and against the law for your mom to kick you out of the house. We’re glad that you have your older brother to look after you but technically if you go anywhere without your mom’s permission she could report you as a runaway. You can’t be arrested for running away. However, you can report your parents for abuse and neglect. We are here to make that report for you if you’re interested or you can contact Child Help at www.childhelp.org

      If you do decide to leave your uncles house we are more than happy to look to see if there’s a runaway shelter in your area, in case you can’t go to your brother’s house.

      We would love to talk to you more about your situation and your options. Please don’t hesitate to call us or chat with us on our website www.1800runaway.org . We are open 24/7.

      Be safe, NRS

  • #52
    I'm actually in a similar situation. I'm a 17 year old girl turning 18 in December and my mom is abusive when she gets drunk and I'm finally done with it and want to move in with my girlfriend who lives like 2 hours away from me. Her parents are fine with it and want me to go live with them but my parents would never allow it, but last night she actually hit me so hard I couldn't breathe for a sec. I want to move out without having to call the police on her because she only treats me that way and I dont want my little sister to grow up being taking away from her or my mom being in jail.
    I also dont want to get my girlfriends parents in trouble even tho they said its okay.
    I would really like some advice.

    Comment


    • #53
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
      While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
      We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      Be safe,
      NRS

      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

      Comment


      • #54
        can i move out with my boyfriend or live with him and his parents while i'm 17 and he's 18?

        So i'm 17 years old and i'm in washington ever since a few years ago my parents have been super controlling. they constantly have me do everything around the house, my mom keeps grounding me for no reason and if there is a reason it's the smallest mistake that can be fixed. she tries to keep me locked up and keeps taking my phone away when i've done nothing wrong so i have no communication with anyone. i'm also not allowed to have a say in my house, every time i share how i feel it doesn't matter my mom doesn't care. she will raise her voice to make herself louder than me, she interrupts me or shuts me down, she doesnt care about my feelings. i've talked to her about it and it still continues, she plays the victim when i confront her about it and makes it seem like i'm the bad guy. i'm not allowed to cry or be depressed or down sometimes (no im not physically harming myself). she literally makes me stay silent so i dont have a voice in a place where im supposed to call "my home". the last time i told them i was down or depressed, they told me i was doing it for attention, they locked me up in the house and took my phone away. but i wasnt happy with myself or how i was getting treated, i had no voice to speak out. Now because i told someone was was going on, how i was feeling and getting treated via text, my mom took my phone and saw it and yelled at me for it, grounded me, took my phone once again and she wont let me talk so i was also silenced again, and she says i'm "lying". but in reality im not, im sick and tired of being treated this way and me having to shove everything down because they dont let me have a voice.

        Comment


        • ccsmod0
          ccsmod0 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,
          Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
          While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. This is something to consider if you are living with your bf who is 18 and their parents. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
          The easiest way to leave home is with your parents' permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.
          We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
          Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). If you would like to look into further emotional support options, you can text with a crisis worker at the National Alliance on Mental Illness 24/7 by texting "NAMI" to 741741.
          If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
          Be safe,
          NRS

      • #55
        My friend and her parents have asked me to move in with them sense I told them I didn't want to live and move with my mom and siblings. I'm 17. I'll be 18 in a few months. I've been wanting to talk to her about it but cant bring myself to do so. I'm afraid of how she might react.

        Comment


        • ccsmod8
          ccsmod8 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello there -

          Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline on our public forum. We are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. It sounds like you're dealing with a lot at home with and you're thinking that the best way to deal with that would be to leave.

          Now we aren't legal experts here and you might have already read on this forum thread about what could happen if you were to leave home before the age of majority. So we won’t get into that since you can find it fairly easily. Your mother may give you permission to live with another family or relative, but without getting an official document from the court they would still be legally responsible for you. Which means that they can also take away that permission at any given moment and take you back home to live with them once again. So that can be an option for you if you feel like your mother might respond well to you living someplace else.

          Now we do offer a service that is basically a Conference Call where the parent/guardian, the youth, and us would be on the phone talking about what has been going on. This way there can be a mediator in between keeping things calm and productive. If you’d feel more comfortable with doing that, just know that it’s always available. It might be a great way to talk about what you are going through and where this feelings might be coming from or to maybe build on your relationship and make it better. So maybe that might be an option for you and your mother. Something constructive so that it certainly opens the lines of communication, but that services is completely up to you.

          If you have a specific question that you can't find the answer to on any of these threads or maybe find a place to vent about what you are feeling right now, you can always call us. It’s hard to talk to just anyone one about what has been going on. We also have a database that might be able to locate a youth agency that can provide you local support. Please reach out via phone or even our online chat for more help.

          Best of luck!

      • #56
        Hi there I'm 18 and once my girlfriend turns 18 and lives in ******** can I go pick her up all the way from Texas and let her stay with my parents while I'm out working because she lives in a rough neighborhood and I don't want nothing happened to her and I want to know if my parents will get into any legal problems
        Last edited by ccsmod5; 06-11-2021, 07:37 AM. Reason: Maintain confidentiality

        Comment


        • ccsmod5
          ccsmod5 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello,

          Thank you for reaching out, we hope to help as best we can. Since she would be 18 she is more than likely considered a legal adult which means that she can move out if she wants to and she wouldn’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, she has a right to make her own decisions about where she lives. So if she chooses to live with your parents, then no one would get into trouble since she would be an adult making a choice. We can help her make a plan for how to deal with her situation and help her find resources to land on her feet.
          It can be very helpful for her to have a plan for when she moves out. Moving can be a huge step, and its great to know she is not alone in this. Some steps she can take towards independence might be to find employment, or to save up money for moving expenses if needed. It can also be helpful to research rents in that area, find a roommate, or make a budget (planning for the future). Another thing she might want to consider is what kinds of things she depends on her parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after she leaves. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can.

          Stay safe,
          NRS

      • #57
        I’m turning 18 next month my question is can I move in with my bf and he’s parents at 18 but my bf is 17 but he lives with he’s parents and he’s parents are ok with me moving it’s because I’ve been having problems at home

        Comment


        • ccsmod5
          ccsmod5 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,

          Thank you for reaching out to us, we hope to help as best we can. Since you would be 18 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It’s definitely good that you already have a place your thinking of staying, as long as your boyfriend’s parents are okay with you staying in the home you should be fine. Since they are the owners of the home, they are you would ultimately want to make sure are okay with you staying. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can.
          Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).


          Be safe,

          NRS

      • #58
        So im 16 turning 17 in november and my mom is kicking me out and idk what to do can you help me?

        Comment


        • #59
          Hi im 16 but ill be 17 in november and my mom kicked me out and idk what to do but my mom said I could go live with my bf but he lives in Denver Co and I like in kansas and Im scared she'll call me in as a runaway even tho she said I could go.... what should i do?

          Comment


          • ccsmod15
            ccsmod15 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there,

            We are glad you reached out to us for help. We are not legal experts but we can provide some general guidance and some other options. While the age of majority (when you are considered an adult) in both CO and KS is 18, it would be up to the local police if they would enforce the runaway report if you are 17 and in a safe location and your home situation is unsafe and unstable. You could ask your Mom for a letter that you can take with you. It would say she gave you permission to live with your boyfriend’s parents and you are not a runaway. She needs to sign the letter and it has more credibility if it is notarized. There is still some risk to consider, but that is more about how you will get to your boyfriend’s house in CO, if his parents/guardians are really willing to take you in for the long term (or at all) and what you would do in Denver if things don’t work out. You probably already know, your Mom cannot legally throw you out of the house until you are 18. There are shelters and programs in your community to support you and take care of you until things can be worked out with your Mom. If you don’t want to work things out or you don’t feel safe in her home, you could consider a long-term transitional living program in your local community. You may want to investigate your local options and programs before you head off to Denver. The financial, logistical and school support you would get now at 16 in transitional living and that in some cases is available until after you are 18 when you are in a program would not be available to you once you turn 18.  We would like to talk with you in more detail about your specific situation. We are a non-directive agency, which means we won’t tell you what to do but we help you explore all your options and develop a plan that works best for you and is as safe as possible. We have access to local resources and programs for temporary or long term shelter and we will conference call them with you on the phone to find what one works best for you. You can reach out to us for a chat through our website or call our crisis hotline at (800) RUNAWAY. Both are available 24/7 and completely confidential. We hope to hear from you soon. Good luck.

            Best,
            NRS
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