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Can my 17 year old girlfriend live with me without parental consent?

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  • Can my 17 year old girlfriend live with me without parental consent?

    Hi, i'm 17 about to turn 18 in a couple months. My girlfriend just turned 17 and her parents forced her to move back to her home in Minnesota, after she lived with me for about a week without their consent. It's been about a month now, and we both really want her to live here. I live in Iowa and my parents are completely fine with staying here. In fact my mom hates my girlfriends parents because her father used to beat her, and both of her parents verbally abuse her, and try to blame all their problems on her. I was wondering if my family would get into any type of legal trouble if she just moved back and her mother called the police in Minnesota. Please help I really want her to live here. Everyone involved in the situation except for her parents know my home is a better place for her to live and I love her so much.

  • #2
    RE: Can my 17 year old girlfriend live with me without parental consent?



    Thanks for reaching out to us. We are sorry to hear that your girlfriend is being mistreated by her family: physical and verbal abuse is never justified, and your girlfriend always has the right to file a report with her state's Child Protective Services, or simply call the police.

    If your girlfriend's parents have not given her permission to live with your family, they could always file a runaway report and your parents could be accused of harboring a runaway, which is a crime. The possible legal ramifications increase when a minor has crossed state lines. That being said, 17 is a bit of a grey area, and some police departments will not take runaway reports for 17 year olds. The best way to find out is to call the local police non-emergency number for the area your girlfriend's family would file from and ask them how they handle runaway reports for 17 year olds. We are not legal experts, so we simply cannot be sure how the authorities would handle the situation.

    One of the best things you can do is give us a call -- or have your girlfriend give us a call -- so we can get more information and see how we might be able to help further. You both definitely have options and you don't have to face this tough decision alone. We are here to listen, here to help.
    Last edited by ccsmod14; 05-06-2017, 10:23 AM.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
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    • #3
      im having sort of the same troubles and questions. my boyfriend turned 18 a month ago and is tired of living with his parents. i could ask my dad and see if he would be able to stay with me because naturally him being 18, he should be able to leave without a parents consent because he's now considered an adult. he's willing to help my dad pay bills etc. he wouldn't get in any legal trouble with his parents if he told them that he was leaving (as in no runaway reports etc.)?

      Comment


      • ccsmod10
        ccsmod10 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hey there, thanks for reaching out to our forum! You mentioned that your boyfriend is 18. As a legal adult, he has a right to make your own decisions about where you live. Having a plan for where he’ll live and how he will survive once he moves out can be very helpful. You mentioned that your dad is willing to have him move in with you, that’s great! Moving is a huge step. Some things he might want to consider is what kinds of things he depends on his parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after he leaves. Please don’t be afraid to reach out via phone call or our chatting services if you or he want additional support or resources.

    • #4
      My best friend and her boyfriend want to run away not out of state just run. They are only ll aka 6th graders. They've both been verbally and phyically abused and a lot of times my best friend cries when she walks into school. I want to help but I have no idea how. They are running Monday May 8, 2017. We all live in Ohio

      Comment


      • ccsmod14
        ccsmod14 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,

        Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It's good that you want to help your friends and took the initiative to seek out additional support to help you do so. We're sorry to hear that your friends have been dealing with abuse at home. No one deserves to be abused or to be hurt in any way. It is unfortunate that they have had to deal with it so far and feel like running away is their only option. If you or your friends are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

        While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.

        Your friends are be able to report any mistreatment to Child Protective Services through contacting Child Help USA. Their phone number is 1-800-422-4453 and their website is www.childhelp.org. They are an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust to transfer custody until it is safer for your friends to be home.

        Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You and your friends are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

        Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); or you can chat with us through www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

        Thanks,
        NRS

    • #5
      I'm seventeen, with the permission of my parent could I live in a separate home? While still being connected to them?

      Comment


      • ccsmod10
        ccsmod10 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hey there,

        Thanks for reaching out to NRS! We appreciate you taking the time to post on our forum, and we hope our response will be helpful.

        It sounds like you’re wondering if it’s legal to move out as a 17 year old, with your parents’ permission. We’re not legal experts, but if your parents give you permission, you should be okay to move out. They are your legal guardians and are responsible for you until your 18. So they have the right to give you permission to move out. Since we’re not legal experts, we do offer to call out to youth’s local police station in a conference call, just to make sure. If you’re interested in that service, don’t hesitate to reach out to us!

        Our safeline is open 24/7 and we’re here to help in any way we can.

        Be well, NRS

    • #6
      Me and my boyfriend want to runaway without permission of my parents but i'm 18 year old

      Comment


      • ccsmod5
        ccsmod5 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi,
        Thanks for writing in. We’re not legal experts, but in most states, the age of majority is 18 years old. If this is the case in your state, then you are free to leave home with or without permission. If you’d like to speak about your situation more specifically, please feel free to reach out to us at 1-800-786-2929. Best of luck to you and stay safe.

    • #7
      I'm kinda in the same situation. My boyfriend is 19 and I'm 17 but we both are tired of how we're being/been treated. He's already been kicked out of his house and is now saving for an apartment for the two of us. We almost have enough saved so if we buy a place before I turn 18 would I be able to move in with him? My parents told me they don't want me to until I'm 18 (in which case I can do it anyway) but would I be able to move in with him and not like get hunted down and arrested or something? I live in Utah

      Comment


      • ccsmod6
        ccsmod6 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there, thanks for reaching out to us! We’re really sorry to hear about the situation that both you and your boyfriend are dealing with; it must be really tough for you guys. Although we aren’t legal experts here, since the age of majority in Utah is 18, leaving without your parents’ consent could be considered running away. Running away isn’t illegal, but if your parents file a runaway report and you happen to come across the police, there’s a high chance of them bringing you back home. Unfortunately, since you’re still a minor and your boyfriend is 19, your boyfriend could possibly be charged for harboring a runaway if your parents decided to press charges. It sounds like you want to become more independent from your parents, and you guys seem very responsible since you’ve almost saved enough to buy an apartment. If you want to try talking to your parents again to get their consent to move in with him, you could call us and we could initiate a conference call with them. We would act as a mediator, making sure the conversation is productive by setting rules and keeping it from becoming a screaming match. If that sounds like something you’d like to try feel free to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY, we’re 24/7 and toll-free. We wish you both the best of luck!

    • #8
      My boyfriend is a bit older than me (more than 3 years), and I'm 16. My parents are divorced, and my mom is moving to Alabama, so I'm going to stay with my dad in Wisconsin until I turn 17. I want to move in with my boyfriend after my birthday, and both my parents are consenting of it, but I'm worried about the legal end of it. I don't want him to get in trouble for living with and dating me before I'm 18. Is there anything I can do to make it safer?

      Comment


      • ccsmod2
        ccsmod2 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear that you parents are divorced. It sounds like you plan to move in with your boyfriend once you turn 17. If both of your parents consent to the relationship then you should be fine. However, we are not legal experts, so we cannot say for sure what you could do to make it safer. You could visit the website (sexetc.org) for more information on age of consent in your state. You may also want to consider contacting legal aid. We could look up local legal aid resources for you. Please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat.

        We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

    • #9
      My boyfriend is 19 and I'm 19 we want to move I love him and he loves me we are planning on getting married in a year or so however my parents refuse to let me leave . Me and him are both able to financially support ourselves and wanted to find out if my parents could force me to move back or forcefully take me back home . Will they be able to file a missing person report? What if I do not want to be found is there some way I could let officials know I'm okay and do not want to be contacted by my parents?

      Comment


      • ccsmod10
        ccsmod10 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,

        Thanks for reaching out.

        In most states, the legal age you become an adult also known as the majority age is 18. However there are a few states with older majority ages such as Mississippi, Nebraska, and Alabama. To make sure that you can legally leave at 18, you might look up your current state's majority age. You want to look up the majority age in the state you are currently in, the state where your parents would attempt to contact to the police to list you as a runaway. If your state's majority age is 18, you cannot be forced to return home after leaving regardless if you leave the state or not. If you are considered a legal adult, police will not take a runaway report for you and you have the right to live on your own. You might leave a note or contact your parents without letting them know where you are to tell them that you are safe, just so they do not think you have been abducted or something bad has happened to you and try to report you as a missing person.

        Please do not hesitate to call or chat if you have additional questions or if you need any support. We are here 24/7.

        Best,NRS

    • #10
      Hi, so a similar situation. I'm 16 in SC and waiting until I'm 17 because I've heard that the police won't do anything when I'm 17. My parents are emotionally abusive and very controlling. Can i move in with my 18 almost 19 year old boyfriend that lives in Oregon? He has a job as well as living with his two brothers.

      Comment


      • ccsmod10
        ccsmod10 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,

        Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. From your email to us here, we can see that you have very similar questions to a lot of our callers and you’re looking for some answers. It seems like there must be a lot going on in your life especially at home if you’re thinking about running away from home. It’s great that you were able to find out some information about our hotline. Hopefully we can help.

        You don’t deserve to be abused in any way. It sounds like your boyfriend is a great person and very supportive of you. You should always feel loved and safe at home, it’s understandable that you want to move in with him. Like we tell a lot of our callers and/or people that email us, the laws on that specific subject of just leaving home and/or running away vary from state to state. Now we aren’t legal experts, but what generally what typically happens if a minor runs away, is that your parents would be able to make a runaway. You can’t be arrested for running away in some cases we’ve heard of police not taking runaway reports on youth who are close to turning 18 (like you). A good way to find out exactly what the police protocols are in your city, would be to reach out to your local non-emergency police. You can ask them hypothetical questions about running away.

        If you give us a call on our 24/7 fully confidential hotline, at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we could help answer some of those questions you have and could potentially help you brainstorm a solution to the issues you are having. We also have an online chat service available every night from 4:30-11:30PM CST that is available through our website (www.1800runaway.org) if you don’t feel like calling in to talk on the phone.

        Stay safe, NRS

    • #11
      My girlfriend lives out of state but she doesnt want to live with her parents and wants to move in with me my family doesnt have a problem with it just hers is there anyway i could get her to move here without parents consent?

      Comment


      • ccsmod2
        ccsmod2 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like your girlfriend no longer wants to live with her parents. You mentioned that she is thinking about moving in with your family. If your girlfriend decides to runaway, her parents have the right to file a runaway report. With a runaway report, if the police find her they would return her home. Running away is not illegal but if she decides to move in with your family, your parents could get charged with harboring a runaway. There are two ways that she could leave without parental consent. The first way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. She could also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. If you have any other questions or just want to talk, please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email. or live chat.




        We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

    • #12
      i am 18 years old my girlfriend is adopted and is turing 17 on june 1st and we have been talking about how we are going to get he out of her house because her adoptive brother is always trying to have sex with he and he sexually harasses her all the time and she tried to tell her mother about it last night but her mom doesnt want to listen to her and says shes lying ... her brother is 26 years old ... i am getting a house soon and i was wondering what are the legal options for her to be able to move in with me
      Last edited by ccsmod7; 05-14-2018, 01:12 PM. Reason: identifying information

      Comment


      • ccsmod7
        ccsmod7 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello there, thanks for reaching out today for your girlfriend. She is lucky to have a supportive partner like you. It sounds like she is in a pretty unsafe situation with her adoptive brother sexually harassing her. That is so not okay, and she deserves to live in an environment free from that constant threat.

        Even though he is her adult brother, if the harassment is going on in the household, she does have the right to report that to child protective services (CPS) so that they might intervene. To learn more about how CPS might intervene in her specific situation, you all might reach out to the confidential expert child advocates at Child Help 1-800-422-4453. Or you all might want to talk to experts on sexual assault you all might reach out to RAINN at www.rainn.org or 1-800-656-4673. They can point you to local resources and be able to talk more about her legal options. Both RAINN and us here at the National Runaway Safeline can help her safety plan around being home if she contacts them or us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. Please call 911 at any point if you feel like she is in immediate danger.

        To answer your question, legally the easiest way she can leave home at 17 is with her guardian's permission. Generally and depending on her state's laws, the legal age she can leave home without permission is 18. If she left at 17, her parents could attempt to file her as a runaway with local police. Typically, police would take the report and if she is found she would be returned home. She could disclose what is going on to police if they find her, but then it would be up to the actions of the responding officer with whether they would return her home or not; which cannot be predicted. While running away is not illegal for her, the legal adult who knowingly houses her as a runaway is at risk of being charged with harboring a runaway, and that is a misdemeanor offense. So you would be putting yourself at risk for those charges if she stays with you after being listed as a runaway.

        There might be more options for her if we knew more about her situation. Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you you would like to talk through the situation or need resources. Here at NRS, we are concerned for her safety and truly want to help.

        Best,

        NRS

        We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think.
        Last edited by ccsmod7; 05-14-2018, 01:46 PM.

    • #13
      Do I still have to live with my mom if I’m 17 ?

      Comment


      • ccsmod11
        ccsmod11 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,

        Thanks for reaching out to us to help you decide about this situation. It sounds like you’re going through a lot at home and are thinking of leaving. This is surely a difficult time for you, and we’re sure you’ve been enduring a lot. Hopefully we can help.

        We’re not legal experts, so what we tell you may not apply in your community, even if it applies in most of the U.S. In most states, you are considered a minor until you are 18. As a minor, if you leave home without permission, then your guardians can file a runaway report on you to the police. Usually, if a runaway report is filed on a youth, the police are authorized to search for the youth and return them home. In most parts of the U.S., running away is not illegal and won’t result in a youth getting arrested or fined. Adults who you stay with could be charged for harboring a runaway, which is a very rare charge, but a charge you may want to know about. Penalties for this charge vary widely across the U.S.

        Hopefully this helped. Thanks so much for reaching out to us. If you have any questions or want to talk more, please call us at 1-800-786-2929.

        Best,
        NRS

    • #14
      Im 17 and my bf is 17 i got pregnant by him and now have an 8 month old baby we oived with my mom but now got into problems qhere my bf is wit his mom and im with mine do we have any right of living together without our parents calling police or anything of that kind

      Comment


      • ccsmod11
        ccsmod11 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi, Thanks for reaching out. We are not legal experts here at National Runaway Safeline, however, we can talk generally about leaving home when you are under 18. When you leave home, your parents have the option to file a runaway report with your local police department. Each area is different, some departments do not take police reports for folks who are 17 since it is so close to 18. To find out if this is the situation in your area, contact your local police department non-emergency number or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY and we can call together. Again, thanks for reaching out and don’t hesitate to chat or call us anytime with additional questions. We’re here to listen, here to help.

    • #15
      so im from iowa and turning 17 in november and my boyfriend is like turning 16 in september and i like 80 miles away and i want to move in with him and his mom wants me to move in with them but my parents i dont think would agree with that speaking they dont even let him come over often cuz of the distance so i guess im asking if i or his mom could get in trouble if i moved anyways...

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