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  • please help me.

    I am 16 years old, living in Indiana.

    I am uncomfortable with talking about the issues im having at home, but i can say im being emotionally abused.
    My parents are very controlling and dont ever let me leave the house, however they let my younger brother and older sister leave whenever they want, no questions asked.



    I think this is very unfair, and want to runaway. I have a plan, and a backup plan already set up. and i was planning on conference calling my mom from 1800runaway to tell her i am safe once i did runaway, out of parental respect.

    I have my bags packed, my room cleaned, my laundry folded, and a note already written and on my bed to my family. I have food, clothes, plenty of water, and a first aid kit just in case.

    Im just wondering what NRS thinks about my decision, and how much trouble i will get into for this. i have heard that if i run away now, and dont return until im 18 no one can do anything about it because my record would be cleared. is this true?

  • #2
    Re: please help me.

    Thank you for contacting us here at NRS and sharing your plan to leave home. It is ok if you don’t feel comfortable discussing some of the emotional abuse that you have experienced. Yes, things don’t seem to be fair with your brother & sister able to leave and not be question. It sounds like you have taken a lot of responsibility as to how you wanted to leave things in your room. Although you have mention what our thoughts are about your decisions. We are non-judgemental, but we can assist in providing with options and ways to be safe in your choice. We will respect your choice.

    Running away is a not illegal, but it is what is consider a status offense. This means that if your parents choose to make a runaway report and the police were to pick you up for any other reason; they most like will run your name in their system. It would show that you are reported as a runaway and most like return you back home. Do you think that your parents will file a runaway report with the police? Unless you say that home is unsafe for you, then the police would be obligated to contact Child Protective Services (CPS). CPS would take the information & determine by interviewing you, your parents and your siblings about what has been happening at home. And they would go from their.

    Yes, you are somewhat right about after you become 18. In most states, 18 are considered as an adult. Running away doesn’t usually show up on a record, but a good resource to ask would be your local police. As an adult you become responsible for yourself (taking care of your basic needs). Do you know what would make you decided that you would return back home after becoming 18?

    It is good that you have considered what you may need after leaving home and also thinking of a backup plan. Do you have a plan as to where you might stay at and how long you would be able to make it with the belongings that you packed? Have you run away in the past? If so, how many times did it occur? There could also be possibly other options that could also be considered. What would you want to change at home if I were to stay? At times it can be helpful to talk to others and maybe consider their views. Do you feel that you have someone that you comfortable with (friend, siblings, teacher, neighbor, and counselor)? You had also mentioned that you would contact us to do a conference call with your mom. How do you think the conversation would go? Have you thought about contacting your mom directly? What do you think would be discuss? It is considerate that once you leave that you have a note prepared and away to let your mom know that you are safe.

    We are here for you if you are want to discuss more in-depth anything that you have brought up, but you can also call if you are want someone to talk to. We are a 24/7 confidential crisis line, and yes, we can be contacted at 1800RUNAWAY (1800-786-2929).We look forward to hearing from you! Best wishes and take care!


    ~NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: please help me.

      I am quite sure that my mom would either go looking for me herself or else call the police and tell them i am missing.
      I dont think my home is unsafe, just hard to live in with all of the accusations and expectations i have to live up to. I have already contacted CPS almost 6 months ago and nothing came out of the meeting we had, so that didnt do anything for me.

      I understand that if im 18 i will have to take care of myself, but i am perfectly fine with the idea of it. once i run away, my mom wont be able to steal my money so i will have alot saved up..

      I would be staying with a friend and her parents in northern indiana. right now i live in central indiana, so it isnt too far away. My friends parents' said they would help support me in any way i need to be until i can turn 18 and live on my own. i have never run away before, but have thought about it many many times. The only people i feel comfortable with talking to are my close friends, but my mom never lets me hang out with any of them so its hard to establish good friendships with them. i think if i conference called my mom and told her i ran away, but i was safe, she would yell at me and tell me that i better get home right then or else id be grounded for another month. i have tried talking with my parents before and they never seem to understand where im coming from. our conversations usually end with me being grounded, or being yelled at for a half hour.

      i also have a few random questions, please:


      when i runaway, and take the car my mom bought for me, can she charge me for theft if the car is titled in her name?

      i have a debit card, can the police track it to find out where im at?

      when i runaway and make the conference call to my mom, could she trace my call, find out where im at, and make me come home?

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: please help me.

        Thanks for your reply. It seems as if you have a pretty good idea of how your parents will react to you running away. It also seems as if you will have some support and help if you do decide to leave from your friend and their parent. Anytime you leave home of course without a parent's permission you are considered a runaway. If you are found with another responsible adult and they allow you to stay with them knowing that you are a runaway, there is potential for them being charged with harboring a runaway. It is not fair for you not to be able to share some of your feelings with your close friends. Better yet, it is worse that you are not able to talk to and establish a healthy relationship with your parents. Have you all ever tried family counseling? Do you think this is something that can be an option for you all?
        You asked a few questions and we will do our best to address them in detail for you...

        Yes, you are correct that if you leave and take the car your mom bought for you that she can call and report it missing or stolen. If the car is still in her name, it is her property and technically you would be taking it without her permission. Parents can use that as a way to track you much faster than anything else.

        With the debit card, yes the police and your mom will be able to track you and get closer to your location based on the purchases you make. If the bank card is attached to your mother's name somehow then she has all access to it as you do and she will be able to call and get a record of all transactions which will give her dates and times of the locations you have visited.

        If you leave home and decide to do a conference call with you mom through us, then no she will not be able to track you. We are confidential and we do not record calls and etc. Our number shows up unrecognizable on a caller id so you are protected there as well.

        Hopefully some of this information has helped you out a bit. Again, we are 24 hours and confidential. If you can call us and speak to someone here that would be great. If not, feel free to post another bulletin!!
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment

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