Emotionally and mentally abusive mother, looking into moving out?

[Unregistered]

I'll try to keep this short. I am sixteen years old and I am a lesbian. I came out when I was eleven years of age. I currently reside in Maryland. For the past year and a half, my mother began emotionally and mentally abusing me. I was Raped by three different guys when I was twelve years old and my mother likes to bring random men into the house that physically assault my eighteen year old sister and I . She will tell all of these men my personal business that I am not even comfortable sharing with anybody. She does not allow me to see any of my friends ever and if she does she is calling me every thirty minutes to see what I am doing. She tells people that I do drugs and that I drink (which I don't). I only smoke cigarettes which she provides me. She will accuse me of stealing things from her such as her cigarettes when I have never stole anything from her. Anytime things go wrong she blames me and makes me out to look like I am an out of control teenager. She is manipulative and controlling. She has kicked me out three times when explaining to her how I feel about the way she is treating me and she will pack my bags for me. (Every time I just go to my grandmothers because the first time she did this, I went to a friends house and she reported me as a run away and because I had no evidence that she kicked me out, there was nothing that I could do.) She blames me for her personal problems and unhappiness. She calls me names. ex: When I was raped it was clear that it was a rape and I had to go to the hospital and she told me that I was a "filthy whore" and that it was "my fault". She tells me that I need to lose weight or that I don't look good enough to go into public with her. etc. She makes me apologize for her, because she can not admit that she herself is wrong. She is continuously throwing my past into my face. She belittles my accomplishments and says it's good but not good enough. She doesn't allow me to see my girlfriend of a year and a half and tells EVERY BODY that my girlfriend beats me (Which she has never layed a hand on me) due to me being gay. She tells me when I express to her how I feel that my feelings are wrong and she is doing this because she "loves me". She herself is unstable. She can not support my sister herself and I. She is borrowing money from my grandmother and my sister to pay bills. Last weekend was the first time she bought VERY LITTLE groceries since February. but she will blow money on her ex boyfriends. buy them food and pay their families bills. My grandmother is no better (she lives two minutes up the street from us). She is very two faced and every body knows it. She has told me numerous times she would help me with emancipation and then would tell my mother that is what I was looking to do and then will defend my mother. My uncle lives with my grand mother and I am made to see him almost every day. He is a pill head, a drunk and a drug addict. He also molested me between the times of my first grade and end of second grade years. He still to this day will make sexual remarks to me. When the molestation was going on I told the teachers at my school and child protective services became a part of my life however, they didn't have ENOUGH evidence that it happened, so he had to move out for a year and that was the only consequences he served. He has hit me, he hits his daughter. He talks sexually towards his daughter. (she is of thirteen years of age). etc. I am so mentally exhausted by this behavior by every body and I need help on moving out. However, again, I am only of sixteen years of age. I am still in high school (by choice, my mother wanted me to drop out this past summer) and I am currently still trying to find a job. I would be moving in with either my girlfriend and her father (we have discussed it the three of us and he would willingly take gaurdianship of me) and I would put forth $150 for groceries and my phone bill every month.OR I would be moving in with one of two really good friends and both of their parents are willing to take me in as well and I would have my own bedroom in any of these houses. I need guidance on what to do next, I am so lost at words and I am terrified this will only make things worse. Thank you in advance.. -GLR

[ccsmod13]

RE: Emotionally and mentally abusive mother, looking into moving out?

Hello,

Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safline and sharing your story with us. It sounds like you have been going through so much over the past couple years. Again thank you for reaching out to us. You do not deserve to be in an environment where you do not feel safe or supported.

You have shared a lot with us and we are glad that you have reached out. You mentioned that you were sexually assaulted in the past. We want to give you the phone number for RAINN. It is a hotline that we believe may benefit you and the number is 18006564673.

You shared with us that you have been physically assaulted as well. No one deserves to be abused in any way. We want you to know that if you ever experience any abuse, you have the right to make a report. You deserve to feel safe in your own home. If you call our hotline at 18007862929, we can talk more about the process and even make a report with you if you did decide that is something you wanted to do.

It sounds like you have a plan for when you move out to live with your girlfriend and her family. We think that is amazing that you are planning ahead and trying to put a plan together. Some things you should know if you are thinking of running away. If your mom files a runaway report and the police find you at your girlfriends house or your friends house, your mother could have the option to charge your girlfriend or your friends parents with harboring a runaway, because you are a minor.

I hope that information was helpful. Remember, if you feel like you need additional help or support please feel free to call us at 18007862929 or chat with us on our website from 4:30pm-11:30pm every day. We look forward to hearing from you and we wish you the best of luck.

NRS

[Unregistered]

Controlling and Mentally abusive mother

Hello, I have a very controlling and mentally abusive mother. When I was in high school, I was very depressed and suicidal. The source of that emotion was my mother. I told her a few times that she was the reason why I had tried to kill myslelf and things of the sort. I am 20 years old now, in college, and the same things are still happening. I have never been good enough for my mother, not in school, sports, or anything. She always turns everything that is wrong and makes it about her. When i told her i was suicidal, she started crying and talked about her and how she is suffering too. She did not try to help me or anything. So here I am, I started feeling alot better after high school, I moved away to college for a couple years then had to come back due to finacial issues, and moving back into her house brought back all of my old feelings and emotions. I have a boyfriend of about a year and a half now and he is the only thing that is keeping me going. The hard part is, is that he lives an hour and a half away from me now that I've had to move back to my mother's house. I have been talking about moving out for a while now, and have finally worked up enough courage to start the process. I have been looking into apartments in the area that I can afford, and my boyfriend plans on moving in with me so it will be two paychecks instead of one. My step-mom is supportive of this plan but I still need help with how to tell my mother that I am moving out. I pay for my own car and food, but myself and some other close people are worried that she is controlling enough to take the car away since it is still in her name. She has always had to put her two cents into everything, even the tiniest little things like what I am going to write an essay on. As a 20 year old, I still need to ask permission to go to my dad's house and he lives 5 min away. So I know there is no easy way to go about the conversation of moving out with my mother, but I just don't even know how or where to start.

[ccsmod4]

Controlling and Mentally abusive mother

Hello,

Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

We appreciate you reaching out and expressing your thoughts and feelings.
We understand how difficult it can be sometimes to establish communication with someone.
NRS is here to listen and here to help. Tell us how we might be of service to you.

You are welcome to call 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or visit www.1800Runaway.org (live chat)
to talk about your situation or go over options.

We hope to hear from you soon.

Take Care,
NRS