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  • 16 in Indiana

    Hello, Im wondering how much trouble i would get into with the law if i were to runaway and stay at a friends house. I actually planned on leaving tonight, i had rides set up and everything. But i saw your website and thought id try the responsible thing first.
    I have already talked with my friends mother and she said she could help me get a job and live comfortably and supervised at her house. [She is a nurse at a local hospital] I also do online schooling and own a laptop, so i would be able to stay in school as well.

    The reason i want to leave my house is because my mother is verbally abusive.
    She does not let me hang out with my friends, and will only let one of my girl friends come over to hang out with me. She tells me all the time that im a liar, and that she cant continue living with one. This often makes me feel like i dont deserve to be living.
    The only reason i have not run away or commited suicide is because i usually call my best friend and she talks me through things, but sometimes its too much to handle.

    I have to have a certain key to get out of my house, but only my mother has a copy of the key.

    I have been continually grounded for almost a year and a half now. I just got my car/license recently..but have since then been grounded for a month, for going to see my father [parents are divorved] and taking my little brother [14 years old] to get lunch.

    She often yells at me until i cry, and then i tell her i understand why im in trouble and she just keeps yelling even louder.
    Ive tried talking to her about the way i feel, and she only tells me im creating drama and to go to my room.

    My mother hit me with a leather belt until i was around 10 years old, usually for no reason at all.
    She used it on my brother until he was 13, along with a piece of thick wood.
    Abuse is a bit in the grey area for me because my mom always said God wants parents to punish their kids harshly..but my best friends father is a police officer and says that she was, in fact, an abusive mother.

    Please help me NRS.
    I am borderline suicidal and just want to be happy.

    Thank you for your time.

  • #2
    Re: 16 in Indiana

    Thank you for contacting us at NRS and sharing your difficult situation with us. It sounds like you have put a lot of thought into leaving and how it would happen. It is has been hard on you when your mom has said some pretty hurtful comments by saying that you create drama. Calling you a liar and that she can’t live with you due to that. We are sorry that you have been going through this and feelings that you don’t deserve to live because of her talking down to. It is understandable that you have looked into other options and you.

    We are glad to hear that you will have a safe place to stay. Have you runaway in the past? Do you think that your mom would file a runaway report? It sounds like your friend and her mom are very supported of you and your safety. Have you felt comfortable discussing wanting to runaway with anyone else aside from your friend and her mom? How long do you think friend’s mom will let you stay? Also your mom would legally be able to file a runaway report with the police. Although it is not illegal to runaway, it is a status offense. This means that it would go into the police data base. Your mom would legally have the right to charge the person that helps you runaway as assisting in a minor delinquency. And the person that she stays with could be charged with harboring away. Do you know if any report has been made to Child Protective Services about the pass physical abuse and the current verbal abuse? You had mentioned that the abuse was in the grey area due to your mom believing that God wanting parents to punish their kids. Has there been past reports made about the abuse at home? If so, what was the outcome of it. If you do chose to make a report, you can also call Justices for Children at 1800-733-0059. They can assist with your legal rights and help advocate for you. Have you thought of a back up plan if first plan doesn’t work? Were you able to talk to your school about online classes? It sounds like your mom has been disregarding your feelings and not listening to you. If you stay at home what would you like to see change? Do you think that things could change at home if you were to stay?

    You had also mentioned that you are feeling borderline suicidal. It sounds like things have been frustrating for you and that there aren’t very many options. Have you attempted suicide in the past? How did you try? Do you have a plan on how you would attempt suicide? It sounded like you were able to talk to your friend when you were having feel of suicide and running away. Do you feel that it was helpful to talk to your friend about you’re your feelings? Your friend seems to be of great support for you. If you want to discuss feelings of suicide, some find it supportive to call the National Suicide Hotline at 1800-273-TALK (1800-273-8255). It is understandable that you just want to be happy.

    We hope this information and resources will help with your plan and other options. If you are need any resources or wanting to talk; we are here 24 hours, 7 days a week and all our calls are confidential. Our hotline number is 1800RUNAWAY (1800-786-2929) if there is anything that you would like to talk about. We wish you the best of luck with everything!

    ~NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: 16 in Indiana

      I have thought about running away in the past, but my friends have always talked me out of it. I think my mom would definitely file a runaway report because she doesnt like me to see my friends. I usually talk to my friends about my feelings, but often times my mother will make me get off the phone if she knows im talking to a friend. My friends mom said i can stay for as long as i need, she is a nurse so there would be no problem with her supporting me. My mother, dad, brother, and I all went to CPS and talked with a social worker about things almost 5 months ago, and nothing has come out of it. Other than that, there has not been past reports about the abuse. The only people that really know about it are my brother, my mother, and me. I am afraid to file a report because the physical abuse was a while ago and didnt want to look stupid telling them i had physical abuse going on 5 or so years ago.

      But I have many other friends parents on my side just in case my first plan of action doesnt work, and my older sister who has her own apartment said i can come and stay with her anytime. If i were to stay at home, i would only wish to be happy. I would like my mother to listen to how i feel instead of making assumptions before im able to speak. But no, i dont believe things would change if i were to stay home. Ive been trying to make things better for a year and a half, and they never seem to change.

      i have attempted suicide by overdosing once. I dont have a plan for attempting suicide, i just dont want to live at home, so i feel i only have two options for getting out; running away or suicide. It is always very helpful to talk to my friend about my feelings. Without her, i probably wouldnt be here right now.

      I guess i just dont understand how it isnt legal for me to live with someone who would treat me better than my mother.

      -

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: 16 in Indiana

        Hi,
        thanks for posting again. We understand your frustration with your home situation and hope that
        things improve for you. It sounds like you have some people in your life who do care about whats going on
        and are willing to be supportive of you. Are you planning on using the resources given to you by NRS?
        Although you said the abuse by your mom occurred several years ago it does not lessen that it was wrong.
        we're glad it has not happened again and hope you continue to be safe. You are welcome to call our 1-800-runaway 24hr Hotline to talk more about your situation we are here to listen should you want to talk.

        Take Care,
        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          My parents constantly bring me down, I am ever congratulated for anything I do. I maintain good grades, do my chores, and spend time with them. My dad recently called me a whore and told me to pack my bags an never come back. In Indiana, am I legally allowed to live with my grandma? I go to a catholic school and I know my grandma would be unable to pay for that, but I would be okay with switching schools. I have multiple plans when it comes to running away but I would like to know if this shows up on my permanent record or if I could get charged or put in juvie.

          Comment


          • ccsmod15
            ccsmod15 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hello,

            Thanks for reaching out to us. We’re so sorry to hear that your parents are constantly bringing you down. It sounds like your dad said some really hurtful things to you and asked you to leave. You’re asking really great questions about whether you’d be able to stay with your grandmother without getting into trouble, and we will do our best to share as much info as we can.

            We’re not legal experts, but from what we understand, running away isn’t technically illegal, although it is considered a status offense in some states. If you are considered a minor in your state, your legal guardians can file a runaway report with your local police department. What happens after that really depends on your local police department. Sometimes they look for a missing youth, sometimes they won’t. If you’d like to know how your local police department handles runaway reports, you would need to reach out to your local police department at their non-emergency number to find out. You don’t have to give them any identifying information to have your questions answered.

            If you’d like to discuss your situation with someone, or if you’d like help calling out to your local police department, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us. We’re available via phone 24/7 at 800.RUNAWAY (786.2929) or via chat every day from 4:30pm – 11:30pm CST. We wish you all the best. Stay safe!

            -NRS

        • #6
          I need someone to talk too

          Comment


          • ccsmod5
            ccsmod5 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi, there. We are happy to listen and help in any way we can. Please feel free to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929). Take care,
            NRS

        • #7
          Its so sad to see all of these kids reaching out for help. We are grandparents to 15 grandchildren and 9 kids including 2 adopted children. We have a situation regarding our 15 year old granddaughter who wants to live with us instead of her biological father and step mother. She wants to run away from her parents and come and live with us. No sure what to tell her or where to turn.

          Comment


          • #8
            Hi there,

            Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We are not legal experts, but because she is a minor, if she ran away to you, you could be charged with what is called harboring a minor. Her options to live somewhere else would be to get permission to live with you or other legal options like emancipation or if there is abuse in the home, to report it. You would also be able to reach out to Child Help at 1-800-422-4453 to ask about how custody could possibly be transferred to you.

            If you want to talk through any of these options with a liner, or want more legal resources, don't hesitate to reach out to us at 1-800-786-2929. We're here 24/7 to listen and support.

            Best,

            NRS
            Last edited by ccsmod1; 08-20-2018, 02:07 AM.
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #9
              HI im tired of living with my sister i dont have any parents my grandparents are trying to put me into a mental hospital and i dont want to go back to them i understand southbend doesnt do emancipation anymore and ive been thinking about running away for a couple of months i dont know what to do anymore i got places to stay i was wondering if i can just leave

              Comment


              • ccsmod7
                ccsmod7 commented
                Editing a comment
                Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

                We are sorry to hear you’re going through such a difficult time with your sister and grandparents. It sounds like you are going through a lot right now.

                If you were to leave your sister’s house, running away isn’t illegal but it is considered a status offense if you are a minor. If you left and your sister or grandparent filed a runaway report, the police could return you home if found.

                Have you considered having someone help mediate a conversation between you and your sister or you and your grandparents. If there’s an adult in your life who you trust, it’s possible they could help you have a conversation with your guardians to explain where you’re coming from. It might help you all find some common ground.

                If you’d like to call in to discuss more options, please don’t hesitate. We are here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

                We wish you luck with everything.

                -NRS

            • #10
              Hi, my name is Cameryn Meyers and I am 17. My mom treats me like ******** and constantly threatens to throw me out and put me in jail. She has mental disorders and I want to leave. I have friends who will take me in and ill be 18 in February. Am I allowed to run away without legal consequences?

              Comment


              • ccsmod6
                ccsmod6 commented
                Editing a comment
                Hello, Cameryn, and thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We understand that it takes a great deal of strength to reach out for help when times are hard and we want to recognize that. We are sorry to hear that your mother is not treating you in a way that is supportive to your wellbeing, though it is good that it seems like you have people around you who are willing to help. With regards to runaway law, we are not legal experts but we can provide general information. Firstly, it is not illegal to run away. As a minor, your parents can file a runaway report on you, which would permit the police to pick you up and take you home if they found you. If you are staying with a friend and there is a runaway report out on you, your parents do have the right to press charges against them for harboring a runaway. This would mean that your parents would have to take the other party to court and often results in misdemeanor charges with a fine. However, police practice varies widely from state to state and even town to town. Being so close to 18, it is not unheard of that the police would not take a runaway report on you due to your age. A way to find out would be contacting your local police non-emergency number and asking them. If you have any more questions or any other concerns, please don’t hesitate to call us on our 24/7 hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

            • #11
              Freedom. The very thing that our founding fathers fought for. And yet, we still can’t have it. We’re always bound to something. My parents have joint custody. My dad has the most custody. I’ve wanted to leave him ever since my mom left. I’ve tolerated my dad for years. And rarely seen my mom. He’s verbally abused me and put me down for years. He’s always telling me how I am his only family left, he’s cut off almost all his family. He’s much more wealthy than my mom, so my mom has no chance in court with him. I’m stuck. Helpless. I feel as though I have been abandon inside. I’m always told too compromise. Compromise doesn’t exist in his vocabulary. And when it does, it’s for a short time. I’ve considered running away and suicide more times than I can count. I’ve learned to tolerate all of this much better. I have two wounderful brothers that I want to see grow up but can’t, because of him. I’m Turning16 soon. I don’t know how much longer I can wait until I turn 16.

              Comment


              • ccsmod3
                ccsmod3 commented
                Editing a comment
                Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’re really dealing with a very difficult situation. No one should have to put up with being verbally abused. Your Dad should not be treating you that way. I can understand how you want to remove yourself from such an environment. And if you do contemplate running away further, it always helps to have a plan for where you would go and how you would be able to support yourself, be safe, get to school, and continue your daily living effectively. Short of running away, are there other adults you could confide in for support, or counselors at school who may be helpful to talk to about your situation? They often have experience with situations where young adults experience challenging home lives and potentially could be of help.
                There are also mental health resources available to call, such as NAMI (the National Alliance on Mental Illness) at 1-800-950-6264 and the National Suicide Prevention LIfeline at 1-800-273-8255. Both are available 24/7 and are good resources to talk about difficult situations and concerns.
                Certainly, you should not have to endure what you’re describing. If you would like to discuss further, please feel free to call the National Runaway Safeline at 800-786-2929 so we can talk more. Thanks for reaching out and calling. Good luck.

            • #12
              my 16 years old niece has run away, her mom is moving to California and she dosent want to go ??? can I legally get in trouble

              Comment


              • ccsmod7
                ccsmod7 commented
                Editing a comment
                Hello there,

                Thank you for reaching out to NRS and for sharing your story with us. We are sorry to hear about your situation. Although NRS is not a legal agency, we can try to give a general idea of possible outcomes if you were to harbor your niece. As your niece is considered a minor in her state, she is still under her parents’ guardianship, therefore at any point when she is gone, they are legally within their rights to file a runaway report. Being a runaway is a status offense, and while she would not be charged with a crime, if police came across her, they would probably return her home. Guardians could also potentially press charges against people who took her into their care for “harboring a runaway” (your part of the question); these charges would be misdemeanors, but still criminal offenses. Again, this would be at her mother’s behest, and not an automatic charge.

                We would love to talk more about the details of your situation so that we can work towards a solution that you find acceptable. Some states may have more specific laws we do not know about. Other options could be to call your niece’s county police non-emergency number if you would like, as well as to call us for legal resources. If you would like to share more, please feel free to call our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or use our Live Chat.
                We hope this information was helpful and take care.

                National Runaway Safeline
                [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            • #13
              Will i go to jail

              Comment


              • ccsmod7
                ccsmod7 commented
                Editing a comment
                Hi there, thanks for reaching out today.

                We are unsure about your situation, but if are referring to running away as a minor, you generally would not be arrested. Running away is a status offense meaning something you cannot do due to your age, rather than being illegal. If you are caught as a runaway you generally would be returned home rather than going to jail.

                If you would like to talk in detail about your situation please do not hesitate to call or chat us: 1800runaway.org; 1800-RUNAWAY.

                Best,

                NRS

            • #14
              I have been looking at Indiana's Legal definitions to running away. Every-time I look it up I see a young minor who has left home without consent and does not plan to return.In that case does it mean if I left (I am 15,16 in June) that I may leave home for one weekend with full intent on returning,that it is not legally running away?I would like to leave for the weekend to get away from my stressful household and my family will know where I am and have numbers to contact me if need be.So can they still press me for charges as a run away if the only thing is I don't have consent to go where I am going but they know where I am and how to get a hold of me in emergency.Again I have full intention on coming back and will be staying with my baby's dad side of the family as of I am pregnant.I have "Ran away"before which means I went to a friends house to get CPS because of verbal and physical abuse in home,and again the same night for "threatening to leave my house" when in reality I was standing outside and waiting for my own police because I was about to have a really bad panic attack.Even though nothing happened in the CPS case because my mother made me out to sound insane pretty much,and there hasnt been physical abuse there has still been alot of verbal abuse,especially now that I am pregnant.I also have little brothers who like to start physical fights with me and have hit me in the stomach and the side more then once.What I am asking is,if I have full intent on coming back and my mother has all information I can give her am I still legally "Running-away"?

              Comment


              • ccsmod1
                ccsmod1 commented
                Editing a comment
                Hey there,

                Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension - it's not OK for your mother and brothers to be treating you like that. Despite the result from previous CPS investigations you always have the right to file another report - especially if you are worried about your baby's safety. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering. It may also be a good idea to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

                We aren’t legal experts here at NRS by to answer your question, generally speaking, if you do opt to leave your home ( no matter how long you'll be gone) your mom can file a runaway report, which is essentially a missing person report. Running away is a status offense; this means that it isn’t illegal, but it’s something you can’t do while still a minor. If a runaway report is filed and you are located by the authorities you will most likely be returned to your mother. Every situation is different and police response can vary depending on your town so, it may be worthwhile to call your local nonemergency police line (you can usually dial 311) to check on local policy.

                If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

                All the best,
                NRS

            • #15
              Ok so I’m 16 and I want to file for emancipation or run away because my mom always berates me and her boyfriend will hit me every once in a while when I get in trouble or he’s mad. I have and keep pretty good grades but I got a D in one class and my mom flipped talking about how I was grounded even though all my other classes where good. She’s always calling me a dumb ass and her bf always insults me and my sister. I could always stay with my aunt and she has already offered to take me from my mom so I was just wondering how I could do that and not be forced to come back until I wanted to.
              Last edited by ccsmod4; 06-07-2019, 03:50 AM.

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