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Have my bags packed...

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  • Have my bags packed...

    My best friend and I have been dealing with depression [edited] like that for years, and the meds and the shrinks don't help. The friend just wants to die...but I would give anything for him to live. We tried to fix everything and make it better, but no matter what our mother's just keep crying and screaming at us saying it was better if we died and how they never wanted a [edited] gay kid (In my friend's case) and a stupid little crazy girl (in my case). My mother has made it very clear if I run away she'll call the cops, his parents don't give a damn. We've been saving money to make a run for it a long time, and as soon as I pass eighth grade we plan to go. He wanted to leave tonight but I've been thinking about this and know if I leave without graduating there'll be no life for me if I come back. I'm 14, he's 16. We can probably avoid the cops for awhile, but having to worry about them all the time is no life. On the other hand, neither of us will have a life if my friend kills himself. Are there homeless shelters in the Kansas City area we could stay at? Well I assume there are, but I've never seen one, hah. I'm prepared though, and ready to make a run whenever I need too..and yeah I know I'm young. I know why my mother is concerned that I'll get killed on the streets, especially in an area like KC. But between a muscular girl and a 6' 4'' guy, we should be able to fend for ourselves, right? We know the streets. Even if we don't know where to go, we know where not to...

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    Re: Have my bags packed...

    Thanks for writing in and sharing your story. It sounds like both you and your friend are going through an extremely difficult situation. It sounds like both of you have had to deal with mothers that are, well, less than supportive. Constantly being talked down to and being yelled at will take a toll on anyone, especially by people who should be supportive. On the other hand, it sounds like you and your friend has been huge supports for each other, and that is absolutely wonderful.

    You mentioned something about your friend talking about suicide, and that is one of the big reasons you both are thinking of leaving. Has your friend ever attempted suicide before? How often does he talk about it? Do you know if he is currently having suicidal thoughts? It’s great that you are there for him and able to help him through this time, but it’s not always easy. If you ever feel like it gets to the point were he may need to talk to someone he can always call the National Suicide Hotline 1-800-273-TALK or the Trevor Hotline (which is a hotline geared towards GLBT youth) 1-866-488-7386.

    So obviously running away is something that you and your friend have discussed. It’s great that you are trying to get as much information and really figure out how to be safe if you do decide to leave. It sounds like things at home are not going well, but do you feel that anything would be able to change in order for it to be bearable to live at home. Is it just you and your mom in the household? Have either of you tried to sit down with your mom’s and talk through the situation or perhaps go to a counselor? It sounds like you realize that running away may not be the best option, but that staying at home is getting unbearable. Here at the National Runaway Switchboard we are not going to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. Rather we are here to listen, talk with you about options, and try and keep you safe (whether you decide to stay or leave). Now legally, your parents do have the right to make a runaway report if you do decide to leave. In most states running away is considered a status offense and if the police do find you they will probably just bring you back home. Life on the streets is not easy by any means, but there are programs and shelters out there to help youth and try and keep them safe. Have you thought about where you would go if you left? Do you have any friends or family to stay with? It sounds like you have started to save money, have you thought how long that would last you? How would you eat and survive on a daily basis? It sounds like you have thought about consequences and what would be best for you, and you realize that dropping out of school and running from the police is not the ideal situation. On the other hand living in a house where you feel unwelcome and your friend is feeling so horrible that he is thinking of killing himself is not good either. In the end the decision is yours, and it’s not an easy one. Sometimes sitting down and looking at the pros and cons of the situation can help. Also, if there are resources in your area that you think might help like counseling or other youth services, that is something that we could always look up for you.

    You did mention something about shelter in the Kansas City, MO area and I was able to look up a program called the Restart Youth Emergency Shelter (816) 472-5664. Now in most states, if you are underage, a shelter may be required to contact a parent to let them know you are there. Some shelters may allow you to stay a night or two without having to contact a legal guardian; it just depends on the program.

    Hopefully some of that information helps and leaves you thinking about more options. Also if you ever need someone to talk to or any other resources in your area, you can give us a call anytime at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are a completely confidential hotline and there is someone here 24 hours a day to help. Best of luck with everything and take care.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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