running away to another state

[Guest]

I am 14 and want to run away with my 16 year old boyfriend. We want to leave Texas and go down to Louisiana. We have a bunch of people we could stay with but how would we go to school and could he get a job? If I managed to stay until I was 18 would I then be able to be ok? Because I would no longer be a minor. If I changed how I look and my name could I just live like that and so when I get a driers license and stuff could I r a different person like that?

[ccsmod8]

Hello there –

Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline and posting on our public forum. By helping you during your crisis, hopefully there are other youth that are in similar situations can read this for help as well.

As you have probably saw on our other post or threats that we aren’t legal experts and the laws on that specific subject of just leaving home and/or running away vary from state to state. In most states, if you are 18 years old or older, you are considered an adult. Now once considered a legal adult, you can’t be forced home and your parents can’t file a runaway report with the police. Until then you are still concerned a minor and cannot leave without parental permission. If you were to leave and runaway, you and your boyfriend’s parents will have the right to reach out to local law enforcement to report that you have run. If you were to leave the city or even the state, what most likely will happen is that if your parents filed you as a runaway, the report will be entered into the NCIC. That is a national database for missing people and runaways that law enforcement use. So if you did get into trouble with the police in a different state, they will still be able to tell that you are an active runaway. Then they will possible hold you until arrangements can be made to get you back home; in detention or local youth shelter.

Unfortunately it is pretty hard to “change your identity” legally. Only as an adult are you able to change your name legally with the state, but until then you won’t be able to. Another thing is that someone that is only 14 or 17 years old wouldn’t be able to walk into a school and enroll. Schools make it so that only a guardian or something that has written consent can register a minor into school. The best thing that we can suggest that you do is to possibly call out to that specific school that you’re planning on going to and figure out exactly what you need to enroll. Then you can figure out your plan and what seems possible for you and what isn’t.

We hope that information helps! If you want to talk more about your situation and what you have been going through at home, please don't hesitate to call to reach out to us via hotline or live chat (4:30 to 11:30 CST).

[Guest]

Hi, I’m 16 and I don’t wanna be at my house anymore. I live in New Jersey and my friend knows about my home situation where I’m abused and treated badly. My friend lives in Ohio and said I could go live with him. If I leave and go to Ohio w/o telling my dad what trouble would I be in if I was already in Ohio?

[ccsmod15]

Hi, we're glad you reached out to us today. It sounds like your home situation is very difficult and from what you described it makes sense you would want to get away from it. Being in a place other than home without your parent or guardian's permission makes you a runaway, but this is not a crime. However, the people you go to live with would be at risk for charges of harboring a runaway or contributing to the delinquency of a minor, and these are crimes. The fact that you are crossing state lines to go them could further complicate matters by getting Federal authorities involved. Having said all of that, you deserve to feel safe at home and certainly don't deserve to be abused. There might be a shelter that you could go to where you would be safe and which might be able to find resources to help with the abuse. (If you tell a shelter about abuse, they will almost certainly get the child protection authorities involved.) You can of course report abuse yourself to the child protection authorities, which you can get hold of by calling 911 if your physical safety is in immediate danger, or by doing an online search for child protection authorities and using the name of your state. NRS can help you make an abuse report or sort out other options if you call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are here 24/7 and your call is confidential. (We would be legally required to call Child Protection if we know who you are and where you are, but you won't be asked for identifying information unless you want us to help you make a report.) Best wishes to you.

[Guest]

Hi I’m in an abusive marriage can I leave my home here and go back to my hometown will they help me also I’m on ssdi

[ccsmod11]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out. It sounds like you're in a difficult situation and facing abuse. You definitely don't deserve to be in any sort of abusive situation no matter what has happened. We aren't exactly sure who you're referring to when you ask if "they" will help you get back to your hometown. There are programs designed to help those who are facing transportation issues, but the availability of these options really depends on very specific circumstances you're in. Please call us at 1-800-786-2929 to figure out more about these options, and we can try to determine which ones you're eligible for.

Best,
NRS

[Guest]

so i’m 14 and i live in florida but i just feel worthless to my parents and it makes me feel really down but i have some friends that live in kansas. they said i could go stay with them if i wanted to. i was gonna take a plane to kansas and they were gonna pick me up. is there any way that i could actually do this?

[ccsmod5]

Hi, thanks for reaching out. It sounds like you want to run away. Since you are a minor, you would need parental consent to leave home. If you leave without permission, your parents would have the right to file a runaway report and if the police are able to find you they will return you home. In addition, any adults that you stay with can be charged with harboring a runaway. In addition to this, it is unlikely that you would be allowed on a plane as a minor, but we can’t say for certain. It sounds like you’re having a difficult time with your parents. It could help to have a conversation with them about what you’re feeling and how they can support you better. It can be a difficult conversation to have, so you might want to have another adult around to help, like a guidance counselor or another adult you trust. We are also able to help you talk to your parents through a conference call. If you would like to do that, please feel free to give us a call at the number listed below.
Thank you again for reaching out. We hope this was helpful and we encourage you to reach out by phone if you need additional resources or need help figuring out your options. Our number is 1-800-786-2929 and our lines are always open. If you have a moment, we'd appreciate your feedback of our crisis services at the following link:

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

Stay safe!

[Guest]

I want to BIKE to Missouri from Alabama. What should I pack? What should I eat before I go on my trip? I am only 12!!!!

[ccsmod11]

Hello,

Thanks so much for reaching out. It sounds like you really want to move, and you’re willing to put in a lot of effort to do that. It’s really great that you’re taking this time to think things through – we’re happy to help with that.

There are a lot of things that you need to prepare before leaving home or going long distances. For example, you need to know where you’ll be staying once you leave. You also need to know if the people you are staying with now will be ok with it. And most importantly, you need a safe way to move. Unfortunately, biking such a long distance isn’t safe and wouldn’t be the right way to do something like this.

So we know that it’s not safe to bike so far on your own. But we would really like to help you still! Please feel welcome to talk to us over the phone or chat, since we can talk more about your situation. You can always call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or send us a chat by going to www.1800runaway.org. Thanks and we wish you well with your situation!
NRS

[Guest]

Hey! I want to runaway with my boyfriend when I turn 17, (he will be 18.) We live in Alabama and I'm not sure where will go or even if it will be out of state but I can't wait until I'm 18. My mom says I have to wait until I graduate but I can't do some of the things necessary for me to graduate early because my mom cant afford it. I'm going to be a junior next year and I don't have a permit or license or car or anything. I can't go anywhere to get a job to progress myself either. My mom married a bum husband who does nothing but drink and I just am sick of it. If I moved off with my boyfriend could he get arrested because he is 18 and I am not? Would we have to move out of state or could we stay here? I'm scared of what my mom will do if I run away.

[ccsmod1]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We're here to listen and to support. You mentioned wanting to leave your home before you are 18. We are not legal experts but generally speaking, if you leave while still 17, your parents could file a runaway report and you could be returned home. There could also be legal consequences for your boyfriend or whomever you stay with for what is called harboring a minor. One thing you can do is reach out to your local police to inquire how they handle runaway reports for 17 year olds. Some cities and departments treat them differently because a 17 year old is so close to becoming a legal adult. The way to get the most accurate information would be to call your local police non-emergency number and anonymously inquire about their practices. If you need help finding this number, we can be reached at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

NRS

[Guest]

I need help or information on a issue of mine
When I turn 18 can I move to a different state like honduras I want to move there with my boyfriend . i need help please

[ccsmod10]

Hi there,

Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. We can see that you have very similar questions to a lot of our callers and you’re looking for some answers. It seems like there must be a lot going on in your life, especially at home, if you’re thinking about going to live with your boyfriend. It’s great that you were able to find out some information about our hotline. Hopefully we can help.

Once you turn 18 you would be considered a legal adult, in most states (except Alabama and Nebraska [19 or upon marriage], and Mississippi [21]). After you turn 18 years old you would be able to live where ever you choose. So yes, you can move in with you boyfriend once you turn 18.

If you’d ever like to talk more about what’s going on at home, we’re here.

Best, NRS

[Guest]

Hi.. so I was wondering if I would get in trouble if I was to pick someone up from michigan who is 17 and bring them to live with me in Colorado. I know in michigan you are considered an adult at 17 and in Colorado its 18. She has a bad home life and I would definitely make sure she's safe. She turns 18 in half a year. She will be leaving a note saying she's safe. I wouldn't be forcing her to do this. Everything is up to her. I don't want to have a criminal record. I just want to save her from her abusive father. I have nothing but good intentions. I think we'll be okay but you can't be too safe.

[ccsmod7]

Hello there, thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like your friend is in a rough position and you are not sure whether or not to go get her across state lines. Here at NRS, we are not legal experts but we truly want to help.

In Michigan laws are a little bit complicated because police typically allow 17 year olds to leave home without permission; however, youth are still not technically adults until they turn 18. If police do not accept a runaway report for your friend, it would be hard for her father to try and press kidnapping or harboring a runaway charges against you for going to get her. One thing to think about is what her life might look like in Colorado as a minor without her guardian. It might be difficult for her to enroll in school and to function independently while still being considered a minor under the law. While we are not legal experts; if you are interested in looking for legal aid resources in your area that might be able to better help in this situation, please do not hesitate to call or chat us for those local resources.

We hope this information is helpful. Please call or chat us or give your friend our number if you would like to talk through the situation.

Best,

NRS

[Guest]

Hi I’m 16 years old and I’m going to visit my mother in Ohio in December i will be almost 17 by that time and I live in Nevada with my dad my mom has visition. What if I run away to West Virginia with the guy I love. Can the police bring me back? Can my mom go to jail or be charged? I just want to be with him also I am pregnant with his baby.

[ccsmod11]

Hello,

Thanks for reaching out. It sounds like you are wanting to start your life as an adult, but also want to make sure that those around you are safe. Let’s look at some options.

We are not legal experts here at National Runaway Safeline, but we can talk generally about what happens when someone leaves home. If you are under 18 and you leave home, your parents have the option to file a runaway report with the local police station. This is not a criminal offense, they will try to find you and bring you home. Some police departments will not take a runaway report for 17 year olds since you are so close to 18. To find out if this is the case in your area, call your non-emergency police department number or call us! 1-800-RUNAWAY and we can call together. If your folks file a runaway report and your boyfriend is over 18, he can be charged with “harboring a runaway” which is a misdemeanor.

Since you plan on heading out of state, again we are not experts, but generally police will try to detain you until your parents can come and get you.

You mentioned you are pregnant and if you need to talk to someone about your health during this time, contact Plannedparenthood.org where you can now chat with a specialist on the website.

If there are any other resources that would be helpful, we can look up ones in your area, just call or chat us 24/7.

Again, we’re really glad that you reached out to us. It takes a lot to ask for help and you are trying to figure out your options which is really good to see. Contact us anytime. We’re here to listen, here to help.

[Guest]

hi im 15 and will be 16 in december. i moved from virginia to florida and hate it here. mentally my health is getting bad due to the move and ive had enough of my parents and want to go back to virginia to live with my oldest sister. however this is a problem do to family issues and my parents and ACTUALLY kinda mental. i waas wondering what could i do besides emanciation? is it legal for me to leave without consent? and if i ran away to my sister what wwould happen?

[ccsmod1]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us at the national Runaway Safeline. We're sorry to hear about the effect the move has had on your mental health, and want you to know that you deserve to feel safe and happy in your home. We are not legal experts, but we can tell you that because you are a minor, if you leave home and your parents file a runaway report, you could be returned home. There could also be legal consequences for your sister or whomever you stay with for what is called harboring a runaway. If you want a liner to help you walk through other options like us mediating a conference call between you and your parents or thinking through possible adults that you could turn to or could advocate for you, don't hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). Sometimes it can help to have someone there you trust while talking to your parents about how hard the move has been or if you could live somewhere else. We're here if you need help having that conversation.

Best,

NRS

[Guest]

Hello. I'm a 16 year old that just recently moved from Alabama to Utah. I don't really like my life here in Utah because of my family and my parents. I can't file a report against them or anything nor do I want to. I just simply want to return back to Alabama. I have various choices of living places, friends or my girlfriend. I also have a grandfather that lives in Alabama. My parents became religious recently and started judging my lifestyle, because I am a lesbian. I've read many things and articles that in certain places in the country it is not a status offense to runaway at 17. I'll be turning 17 in October. Now it is a status offense where I'm currently living in Utah. But it is not where I want to go back to in Alabama. Although the legal age is 19 in Alabama I'll have many places to stay. I just need to know wether the police would actually be able to do anything, or force me back home if I do decide to go back to Alabama. If I can provide a responsible household and a stable job, should I be able to stay in Alabama or is it still a status offense. I'm not sure how it works. Because in Utah it's illegal but not where I want to go. I really need answers. Please and thank you

[ccsmod6]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws. We are sorry to hear about the uncomfortable situation your parents have put you in. We want you to know that you deserve the same respect no matter your sexual orientation.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. We see that you have done some research and have knowledge of the age in Alabama being 19 and some places not having status offences. It could still be a possibility even with that knowledge that the police may try to take you back home. It is nice that you have so many people that are willing to give you a place to stay. Possibly calling out to your local police and the nonemergency number in Alabama to talk about their response to you coming there without permission may be beneficial. Legal aid may also better answer legal questions.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Hello my name is Brian and I have ran away since may my father and my step mom are mentally and verbally abusive I promised to never go back home ever again but in doing that times are getting a little ruff i need money and a job I don’t want to turn to the streets but that looking like the only option i Kant go to school because I’m missing and I need my education I don’t know what to do I reside in dc help please

[ccsmod15]

Hi Brian,

Thank you for reaching out to us! You’re a strong person to tell your story and ask for help.
You do not deserve to be mentally and verbally abused by your father and stepmom. Abuse is never okay, and you deserve to be treated with respect and care. Filing an abuse report might be an option you would want to consider. Having an abuse report on file with Child Protective Services would open an investigation into your father and stepmom. If there is evidence of abuse, Child Protective Services might look for someone else for you to live with. We cannot guarantee what they would do because we aren’t experts, but reaching out to Child Help (1-800-422-4453, childhelp.org) is a good way to get your questions answered.
You mentioned that you are interested in finding a job to support yourself. Job Corps is a great resource to get help. They help you get the proper training and education in order to be able to get a job. They also have housing available when you’re training. They are available at jobcorps.gov and 800-733-56267.
Thank you again for reaching out to NRS! You are doing the right thing by reaching out to us. If there is anything else you need, please do not hesitate to call us. We can help connect you to shelters or Transitional Living Programs, or anything else you need. We are 24/7 and confidential.

Best of luck,

NRS