running away to another state

[Guest]

Hi I want to leave the country but I'm only 14. How can I go about doing this? Could I get on planes if police will be looking for me? Where should I avoid if they are looking for me. And how can I leave the country without being on a plane? I have a friend who's coming with me and their parent wants to help even though it could get them in Huge trouble. If they took me on the plane with them would I be questioned if I had my birth certificate and everything ? Basically I want to know how can I go about doing this without getting caught.

[ccsmod4]

Reply:



Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline .
It sounds like you are considering running away from home and have a few questions about doing so.
NRS does not aid anyone in running away from home or nor can we provide information on how you could do so without getting caught.

We are not legal experts thus we can only give you a brief outline of the general runaway laws in most states.
In most states 18 years old is the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian. A person under the age of 18 leaving home without permission, a parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city.

Generally speaking, a minor that encounters a police officer while reported as a runaway, may likely be detained until they can be returned home.
Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows a runaway to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway.

A good way to find out the laws in your area is to call the non-emergency number of your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth. Does that make sense?

It is great that you are thinking things through before making the decision to leave. Good for you.
If you would like to speak more about your situation and to also explore some options please give NRS a call or live chat with us.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

We hope to hear from you soon.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

Hi,I am 12 and I recently ran away and I'm looking for taking a train to New York. So far I've taken my flute and I'm looking to sell it to get the train money. How would I take the train? Would the police catch me? My parents have already reported me as a run away. Will I be able to make it? If so how?

[ccsmod6]

Hey there, thank you for getting in touch with us. It sounds like you’re dealing with a lot, and have a lot of questions. We will do our best to help you out, but we might not be able to give you definitive answers in regards to what the police might do. We’re not legal experts, but we can definitely give you an answer based on what we’ve experienced before.

First of all, we hope you’re in a safe place. If you’re 12, it might be difficult for you to find a train to New York. Most transportation services require a valid form of ID when purchasing a ticket. What could happen is that the people selling you the ticket might ask for your parents’ permission as well, and might contact the police. The good news is that running away is not a crime, and you will not get in trouble if the police bring you back to your parents.

Otherwise, it’s hard to say if you would be able to make it to New York. If you feel like you’re not safe, or need any help, feel free to call us at 1 800 RUNAWAY (1 800 786 0394). We would be able to help you find a place to stay, and help you figure out what you might want to do.

[Guest]

My daughter, who is almost 14, resides in Florida. She wants to live with me in New York. She is so miserable where she lives now and has recently told me she started cutting herself and has thought about running away and even said she has contemplated suicide. She is currently on a summer visit with me and doesn't want to go back to Florida. I have contacted legal aide and several lawyers, all to no avail. They said since there is an order in Florida, NY courts can't do anything unless if she went home that she would be placed in immediate danger from the person who has residential custody of her. And I can't, unfortunately, talk to him because he manipulated me and lied the Judge and that's how he got residential custody in the first place. He will not communicate at all with me. Or give me any information on things he is supposed to. As far as he is concerned, he acts like he is her only parent. And despite my numerous attempts to do the right thing through the legal system, it never fails to either go no where or make matters worse on my behalf.And it doesn't seem to matter to anyone but me that She is scared of him and he feeds off her fear to further control her and her actions. He is not emotionally supportive towards her in fact he is very abusive. She also lives in an unsafe environment. One in which dcs has been called about. In fact, DCS has been called on him several times and he always avoids any attempt's to speak with him or further their investigation. And they just close the case. Im flabbergasted at how he manipulates the system to his benefit and gets away with it. Now despite all of my efforts here in NY to try to seek out help for her, I keep being told that she has to go back to Florida on Monday. I am besides myself with fear and anxiety not wanting to let her go and feel so helpless and a huge failure to her. I am scared of what the consequences will be should she fly home on Monday. What will she do to herself if no one will help me help her. I am supposed to protect her from harm and support her and give her everything a parent should. Yet am hobbled by the legal system. Any advice?

[ccsmod10]

Thank you for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like things are very frustrating and that you are simply trying to look out for your daughter’s best interest. We are here to provide non-judgmental, non-directive support along with any other resources that may be available.
You mentioned that your daughter has started cutting herself and has talked about committing suicide. A great resource to consider is the website www.twloha.com (“To Write Love on Her Arms”). This is a non-profit organization which aims to present hope for people struggling with addiction, depression, self-injury and thoughts of suicide while also investing directly into treatment and recovery. This might be tricky since your daughter is not living with you, but if she is willing to explore this organization then it may help her feel better. Another great resource to consider is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. They can be reached at 800-273-8255 or you can visit their website at www.suicidepreventionlifelin.org We understand that your preference is to have your daughter live with you but hopefully this will help give her some additional support while the living situation sorts itself out.
You also mentioned that she is living in an unsafe environment. It wouldn’t hurt to continue have her calling Child Help. They can be reached at 800-422-4453 or you can go to www.childhelp.org You never know, perhaps you can get through to someone who has some additional advice or a different approach your situation, in an effort to keep her safe. Also, she can always call 911 if she is in immediate danger. The only other option is to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY and we can look up some other legal resources for you. It definitely appears that you are doing whatever you can to make sre your daughter is in a safe and healthy environment and I am sure she is grateful for your concern and support.
We are here for you 24/7. If you don’t feel comfortable calling us then you can certainly use our live chat by going to our website www.1800runaway.org If you decide to call us then please rest assured that the call will remain anonymous and confidential. Best of luck!

[Guest]

Hi I just want to go somewhere were no one knows my name. Where I can live happy and free from my everyday lies.. I give up, I can't do this anymore.

[ccsmod8]

Hello there -

Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. We are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. It can be very frustrating not knowing what to do or what your next step might be from this point on. Because we do get a large number of forum post, we do have to limit email replies to three individual responses to answer any questions that you have or to provide you with a number of means of support. So it’s certainly not a means to communicate to get the full support that you can get if you called in.

It sounds like you might some specific questions that you want to ask us or maybe just vent a little about your situation. It’s hard to talk to just anyone one about what has been going on. Please rest assured that we are completing confidential. So anything that you share with us will stay between us. We don’t ask for any identifying information, unless you want to report any abuse. We certainly want to help you. If you give us a call on our 24/7 hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we could help you find resources in your area and could potentially help you brainstorm a possible solution to the issues you are having. We would love to talk to you.

[Guest]

Hello.

I'm 16, and the only reason I was staying in PA is because of my grandparents. But recently my grandmother said her and my pap is done so me and her are going to my moms. I do NOT wanna go there, I hate it there and idk why. Well my boyfriend lives in Idaho and if my grandparents are done, so am I. I want to runaway to Idaho and live with my boyfriend, mainly because I wont be depressed. I have no money and I know my grandmother will never allow me to go to Idaho, but I cannot stay here if my grandparents are done. Please, help quickly.

[ccsmod10]

Hey there,
Thanks for reaching out to NRS, we appreciate you explaining a bit of your story. It sounds like life has gotten really stressful lately with all the moves, its understandable why you don’t want to move again.
The age that youth are usually allowed to move out and decide where they live is 18 years old. We’re not legal experts, but if you call in, we can find you legal aid in your area that may help you find ways to be able to live with your boyfriend. There’s also emancipation that process usually takes a bit of time but legal aid would be able to explain that process a bit better. NRS also offers conference calling between youth and guardians. If you’d want to utilize that service, we can help you talk to your grandmother about living with your boyfriend.
You’re not alone in this! NRS safeline is open 24/7 and we also have chatting services available via our website (however that is not open 24/7). Don’t hesitate to reach out to us, hopefully we can talk more about the situation and brainstorm more options.
Stay safe, NRS

[Guest]

I always end up in fights with my parents, they aren't horrible but I feel like they don't love me and I honestly don't love them back. I feel like I don't belong there at all. I have a friend in another state that I would love to see. He lives in Georgia and I live in Pennsylvania. I don't want to get caught before I get there. How can I do this? I was thinking of getting there by a bike...

[ccsmod4]

Reply: I always end up in fights with my parents,

Hello,
Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

We appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
Some situations can be disappointing and even upsetting thus making things uncertain about what to do or where to turn.
We understand and we want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to speak more about your situation and also explore some options contact NRS.

We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or www.1800Runaway.org.
Again tell us what it is you would like us to help you with and we will be happy to explore some options with you.

NRS is here to listen and here to help.
We hope to hear from you soon.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

I lived in Atlanta Ga for so long and all of a sudden my parents wanted to move to Texas and I didn't want to because that means I wouldn't be able to see my friends anymore and most of my moms family lives in Ga some here in Texas but mostly is my dad's relatives. And I honestly dislike it here because I don't know anyone and I'm not good with making new friends I have trouble trusting them and starting all the friendship cycle whether they're trustworthy or not. Good or bad. Talk behind you're back? Like I honestly rather have no friends than making whole new ones. I'm almost 17 years old and my older brother lives in Ga he came here but he didn't like it so he left and plus he has his girlfriend over there. My dad isn't a bad person nor a good one either but he's too much honestly like he gets mad a every little thing. We have to do whatever he says if we know what's good for us. I'm scared of him to be honest. My mom does everything he says too. I can't and don't want to deal with this anymore. My friends tell me to run away and go live with them but I don't know I've never runned away before. Besides I think in of my future I want a good job. And as much as I beg god to change my dads attitude it doesn't happen. If we talk to him about it he'll probably get really mad I don't want to even imagine it. My parents don't give me and my sister freedom, my sister is 18 and they're always scared when we go out because all they think of is that someone might kidnap us and kill us and OMG I'm so tired of it. My dad doesn't even want us to go out because he just doesn't and he's always going wherever he wants. It's like they wanna keep us in the house all the time and we're just teens who want to have fun.

[ccsmod11]

Hi there,

It sounds like you’re going through a difficult situation with your family, and we hope that we can help.

Moving is always super difficult, especially if you don’t know anyone where you’re moving to. It’s valid for you to feel uncomfortable trying to make new friends and to feel hesitant to trust new people around you. Trust is a very difficult thing to give out to people, so it makes sense that you feel discouraged about making friends. It also sounds like a difficult situation having to deal with your father’s attitude considering he sounds like he overreacts. It’s especially difficult when you feel like his attitude is compromising your independence. The situation you’re describing sounds very frustrating and it makes sense why you’re tired of it all.

It might help you to find someone to talk to about your situation. Since you mention that your sister is in a similar situation as you, it might help to talk to her so you feel like you have someone to relate to. You also might find it comforting to talk to school personnel or another adult that you trust. Talking is especially helpful for some people who may feel isolated because of their circumstances. It helps to discharge the pent up thoughts and the burdens that you may be feeling. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to either your sister or an adult, you can certainly feel free to talk to someone at the NRS. We are here to provide support and resources, and we can help you process your situation and your feelings.

Again, thanks for reaching out to us, and we wish you the best of luck.

[Guest]

Hi there. I'm 20 years old and living in an apartment with another 20 year old and a 22 year old. One of my roommates has a friend who is a minor in a very bad home situation. There have been significant threats of violence, and even telling this 15 year old that their parents would kill them. In about a week and a half this minor will be coming to stay with us in Chicago, coming from California. I wanted to ask for advice as to how we can keep ourselves safe, keep the minor safe, and what routes might be best for helping the minor continue to pursue education and live safely with us. Would emancipation be a good bet once they turn 16? Are there any resources you know of that can help this minor either enroll in high school or get their GED?

Thanks.

[ccsmod6]

Hello! Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you and your roommates are being smart and proactive about this new change to your own home by helping a friend in an abusive and potentially life threatening situation.

Do this person's parents know about the alternate living situation that they will be entering into? While we are not legal experts, 18 is the age in California that an individual may leave home without permission. If their parents are not aware of the living arrangement, and the minor is found under your care, you could potentially be charged with harboring a runaway. For the child, it would be a status offense and returned to their parents' care.

You mentioned emancipation an option for the minor. It looks like in California, you must be at least 14 years old, so the minor would not have to wait until they are 16. However, this is a costly and long process. If the minor is interested in this option, you can find more information on emancipation in California here: http://www.courts.ca.gov/1223.htm.

If the minor is unable to undergo this process, due to finances or any other reasons, they may be able to agree upon this alternate living situation with their parents. This would ensure that you are not charged with harboring a runaway and will avoid legal fees and expenses. If the youth is concerned about how their parents would react to this situation, we offer a conference calling service here at National Runaway Safeline. To use this service, the minor can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929), and we would discuss the situation. We would then call their parents and have a conference call, with the National Runaway Safeline liner available to moderate the discussion.

It is great that you are considering safety and education options for the minor once they arrive in Chicago. Schooling options would differ depending on whether or not their parents have filed a runaway report. If the minor is in the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children database, entering them in school would notify the parent of their whereabouts. If the minor's parents are aware of this living situation, you may want to contact Chicago Public Schools about schooling options in Chicago. Their customer service number is 1 (773) 553-1000.

Best of luck to you, your roommates, and the minor with everything. If you would like to discuss any of this more in depth, please feel free to reach out to us by phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are a 24/7, completely confidential service, and we are here to listen, here to help.

[Guest]

Hi, my name's Justin and me and my pregnant fiance want to run away to another state but we don't have any way to get there we both reside in Itasca tx, we need to leave but have no way to leave is there anyway we can without getting caught?

[ccsmod10]

Hi Justin,

Thank you so much for reaching out. It sounds like you and your fiancé are having a hard time right now and are trying to get away from a difficult situation. It’s good that you have each other as support. It may also help to think about friends, relatives, neighbors that you may be able to talk to everything that is going on.

We aren’t legal experts here that said we can share what information we have. If you and your fiancé are under 18 then your guardians may file runaway reports for you and if you are found by the police you will be brought home. If either of you is older than 18 while the other is under 18 then the one of you that is older than 18 could be charged with harboring a runaway. We would be happy to further discuss your situation and what options you may have if you want to give us a call or get in touch over chat.

Thank you again for reaching out. It took a lot of courage to do that and we really appreciate you trusting us to help. We are here 24/7 if you ever need us. Best of luck to both of you.

[Guest]

Hi I’m Lovelle I’m an 11 year old boy. I want to runaway because I’m bisexual I want to runaway from the US Las Vegas to EDMONTON Alberta Canada can you help me I just want directions to leave.

[ccsmod9]

Hello Lovelle,
Thanks for posting on the National Runaway Safeline forum. We’re so sorry that you’re having a hard time at home. It takes a lot of courage to reach out for help. You’re really brave!
We’re so sorry your family isn’t accepting of your sexuality. We know that it is not a choice. It is hard for some people to accept and we’re so sorry you’re going through this.
Running away isn’t a crime. However, it might be really difficult for someone your age to get across the border without their parent. Your parents would also have the right to call the police to file a runaway report to get you back home. You would also need a passport to go to Canada.
It sounds like things are really tough for you right now. We want tohelp you the best we can. If it is possible, please consider calling us directly at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We’re 24/7 and confidential. We also have a Live Chat service right here on this site.
Stay safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I need to runaway because my parents aren’t accepting me because I’m bisexual

[ccsmod5]

Hi, thanks for reaching out. We're so sorry to hear that your parents aren't accepting of your sexual identity. You deserve to feel accepted and loved at home. If you'd like to speak to someone about your situation, you might consider reaching out to the LGBT National Hotline: 1-888-843-4564.

You mentioned that you're thinking of running away. Although we’re not legal experts, we can tell you that running away before you reach legal age of majority for your state is generally considered a status offense; similar to getting caught smoking underage. Generally not something that will go on your permanent record or get you incarcerated. Something you should be aware of, however, is that while running away is not illegal, harboring a runaway is against the law, so any adult/of age person you stay with after you run away could get in trouble, and generally speaking, there are more serious legal consequences to that. Again, we’re not legal experts but it is something to be aware of.

If you'd like to talk about your situation more specifically, please feel free to reach out to us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929). Our lines are open 24/7. Best of luck.

[Guest]

My name is **** and I want to run away from Las Vegas to a safe state in the us like Washington state.
when runaway is their any transportation when I get to a shelter I need to leave because my dad hits and hits me with stuff and my mom yells at me because I just can out As bisexual any shelters that have transportation. Thx

[ccsmod7]

Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It takes a lot of courage to reach out for help, and we are glad you did. Your safety is our number one concern, and it sounds like you are in an unsafe living situation. We want you to know abuse of any kind is never acceptable, and you have every right to report when such abuse happens. Abuse reporting can seem like a daunting task, but you are not alone- there are plenty of resources, including the National Runaway Safeline, that would be happy to assist.

We are sorry to hear that your parents are not supportive of your recent coming out. Although they are not supportive, we want you to know that there are many organizations that are available to give support in times of need. The LGBT National Youth Talkline (1-800-246-7743) and It Gets Better Project (itgetsbetter.org) are two places you can turn to if you need to chat.

You mentioned running away to another state and in need of shelter and transportation. We at the National Safeline are not here to tell you what to do, but we can provide resources and explore your situation further. We would be happy to talk more in depth via phone (1-800-RUNAWAY) or chat.

Best of luck,

NRS

[Guest]

Hi my name is ***** and I want to runaway from my mom and dad with my friend will my friend and hi get arrested for running away together I need to leave because I just came out as bisexual
and after that my mom and dad physically abused me the emotional abused me they said I wrong an I’m not ment to me

[ccsmod10]

Hi there,

It looks like you have reached out to NRS through another means (for example, live chat, email or bulletin) for the same issue, you are more than welcome to call into our safeline if you'd like to talk more about the options and resources we have provided.

Best of luck,
NRS